


We Are Wondrous

by Nakasawa444



Category: GOT7
Genre: Feelings, Flirting, Fluff, Jinmark, Kinks, Light Angst, M/M, Markjin, Original Character(s), Smut, Swearing, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2020-10-26 19:55:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 154,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20747846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nakasawa444/pseuds/Nakasawa444
Summary: He meets Mark and it's awkward. Everything about him is confusing. Except the sex. The sex is literally mind-blowing. Jinyoung never experienced it that way and he might develop a tiny, barely existent (huge) addiction to the odd boy. What does Mark think about this situation? Jinyoung has no idea. To him, he's still as confusing as ever.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> A fair warning before you start reading. Unlike most of my other fics, I won't be able to come up with weekly updates for this story. I'm really sorry. I'm just so busy right now but it will pass. Nevertheless I decided to post this chapter now, because if I don't put a little pressure on myself, I will work even slower. (Yeah, I'm that kind of loser.) I hope you like it. Please let me know.

Jinyoung’s best friend has always been Jaebum. They've been joined at the hip ever since he can remember. Their relationship felt comfortable and tranquil and never was characterized by overemotional discussions or excessive arguments. Instead an atmosphere of silent understanding and reassurance existed between them and defined their interactions with each other. Jinyoung perceived it as warm, safe and convenient.

College changed things. They are still best friends. But they don't have so many opportunities to meet up anymore, since they attend different universities. To Jinyoung's great relief, spending less time with each other hadn't much impact on the quality of their relationship so far. But it was noticeable that either one of them now lives a different life with different people in it and different experiences and influences.

Ever since college started Jinyoung grew closer to Jackson. They knew each other from high school and maintained a casual friendship through the years of juvenileness. They talked occasionally and every few months they met up after school with other people to hang out. But now in college, they see each other every day. Jinyoung and Jackson attend a few of the same courses. Already during orientation they came to realize that their so far casual friendship has a lot more potential than they gave it credit for until now. They hit it off.

With Jaebum, Jinyoung was more on the calm side of life. They spent a lot of time indoors, reading or playing games. They went to the park and enjoyed the nice weather. But with Jackson, Jinyoung suddenly walks on the wild side of life. They go to concerts. They meet a lot of people. They go partying. A lot. Probably more than it’s good for their academic performances in college.

Jinyoung loves it even though he knows it is his doom. He just comes to realize this again when he's on his way to their most frequented club together with Jackson. Their goal: to relieve some pent-up stress on a Friday night. But Jinyoung can't fully let go yet.

“So we now have to analyze rhythmic measures of speech to determine wherein the speech is poetry. Professor Lee gave us those texts and was like 'Here, you little rascals, something easy to do for you at home.' or some shit and I was like 'What the fuck is this?' because hell, I have no idea what I am supposed to do with it. He implied it would be a piece of cake for us but what the heck, I stare at this thing and yes, it could be poetry somewhere in this but on the other hand it might be not? Obviously it's not rhyming so how should I know? I thought about calling the guy who wrote these texts to ask him, but the internet told me that he's dead already. Now I don't know what to do.”

“Can you stop rambling?”

“This is important.”

“Okay, what about your fellow course mates, did they think it was as easy as your professor indicated?”

“Hell no.”

“Great. At least that means your not the only dumbass.”

“Jackson!”

“What?”

“I have a serious problem here. All this poetry shit is not my cup of tea but I have to work through it somehow and I have no idea how.”

“Jinyoung, it's a Friday night and we both are hot and ready to party. Stop whining about your fucking literature grade because first, we're about to enter a club and second, it's annoying.”

“But this is so fucked up, Jackson. What if I won't pass?”

“Just do better in college and study more. Solution found. Let's go in now.”

“You won't let me properly study. You always drag me out to some party or game or concert or-”

“Don't act as if you wouldn't enjoy this. Also why is it my fault that you're a pushover?”

“I'm not a pushover, you asshead. I'm maybe.... a bit too easily distractible. Also you love to hang out with me so you wouldn't leave me alone until I agree to go out with you.”

“That's also true. And right now we're out and not in a lecture. Look at you, you smocking hot bastard. Everyone would want a piece of you. Let's find you some distraction in there. “

And with this, Jackson pulls him inside the already packed club. Jinyoung winces a little at the loud, pumping music and the stale air inside. It's the same every time they enter the club first. It will pass.

Their first stop is always the bar. But already on the way, Jackson is greeted by loads of people as they are squeezing themselves through the masses. This is the thing with Jackson, he knows people everywhere. As soon as you pop out with him, you meet people he more or less knows well. Jinyoung already got used to it. And his circle of acquaintances extended dramatically quick through Jackson as well.

They yell-greet Yugyeom behind the bar who is waving and smiling in such a sweet way at them. The usual image of a chic and suave, almost a little cold bartender is as far from Yugyeom as turnip cabbage is from steak. But Jinyoung wouldn't complain. He prefers the friendly guy to every oh so cool hipster by far.

Jackson orders two vodka shots for each of them to kick it off. They toss the shots down in a blink of an eye before Jackson grabs him by the arm to pull him around the club, pushing through groups of people while greeting a lot of them.

“OH MY GOD! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! THERE'S MARK!” Jackson yells to drown out the Two Door Cinema Club song which the DJ decided to blast.

“WHO?” Jinyoung asks but doesn't receive a reply. Instead they set course for a blond guy in skinny jeans and a simple black t-shirt with rolled up sleeves, stunning arms on display. A very attractive blond guy, Jinyoung decides as they come closer.

“MARK!” Jackson yells at the top of his voice at the surprised guy before he throws himself at him. To be honest, this sound level wouldn't have been necessary anymore since they are pretty far away from the speakers now. But the guy, Mark, doesn't seem to mind Jackson's general high intensity. He hugs him back and a smile blooms on his handsome face.

Jinyoung lingers awkwardly behind his friend, watching those two. But when the guy, Mark, has his chin still propped on Jackson's shoulder, he suddenly looks up and meets Jinyoung's eyes. Never before was Jinyoung hit with such an intensity from mere eye contact. He's hooked. He can't look away from those not only pretty but also mesmerizing eyes. He faintly notices how his legs are getting wobbly. Now this is crazy. Can't he get ahold of himself? This guy is not even doing anything besides looking into his eyes. Okay, maybe he is staring into Jinyoung's eyes with eyes like lightning and fire. But that's still no reason for Jinyoung to be all stressed and confused suddenly. At least that's what he's chanting in his mind.

But now Jinyoung has to steel himself all anew because now the guy, Mark, is inspecting him from head to toe. A flood of heat flows through his entire body as Jinyoung observes how Mark's vibrant eyes are skimming up and down his body. Okay, this is too much. Jinyoung is on the verge of passing out but luckily Jackson finally breaks off the hug and immediately starts to engage the other in a conversation.

“Man! I didn't see you in forever. I'm glad you started to go out again. How are you?”

“Better. That's the reason I am here. Time to enjoy youth and all this stuff.” Okay, his voice is sexy as well. Just what is up with this guy? An incredible boy with an incredible smile and incredible eyes and incredible bare, muscled arms. Just how in the world does Jackson know incredible people like him?

“I'm so glad. I missed you. Here, this is my friend Jinyoung,” Jackson happily explains and pulls Jinyoung closer by his waist. Jinyoung almost stumbles into the blond boy's chest but can prevent the worst by stopping at the last second. He takes a step back since he doesn't think it's very common to introduce yourself to a stranger with being approximately four centimeters apart. The blond smirks a little at that.

“Yes, hi, I'm Jinyoung,” he says, much shyer than he intended to. The intense eyes are on him. He doesn't know if he rather wants to flee, melt or jump this guy.

“Hi, I'm Mark. It's nice to meet you, Jinyoung. So you are friends?”

“Yes, we were in high school together, but not hanging out much. Though he's my new best college buddy and now we're _always _hanging out,” Jackson babbles.

“That's nice. You make friends pretty quickly but for the title 'best college buddy' there has to be somebody special,” Mark points out. His voice is smooth. The smirk didn't leave his lips just like his eyes didn't leave Jinyoung even once since they met.

“That's for sure. He's one of the good guys, Mark. And he only deserves the best and no-”

“HEY JACKSON!” some guy yells in the background. Jinyoung remembers his face vaguely. He's somebody of Jackson's former high school clique. “COME HAVE A DRINK WITH ME!” The obviously already intoxicated guy pulls a rather unwilling Jackson away before he can finish his sentence. Jinyoung looks after his struggling friend with a dumbfounded expression on his face.

Now he's alone with Mark and this feels awkward and his earlier urge to flee the scene becomes stronger by the second. They know each other for two minutes so it wouldn't be terribly rude to simply excuse himself. But when he once again meets Mark's eyes, they are holding him captive. Just like a deer in headlights, he can't move away.

“Sooooo, you're here by yourself?” Jinyoung asks to dispel the silence and hopefully also the awkwardness between them.

“No, I'm here with my friend but he went to the restroom and never came back. He probably met his boyfriend here and now he's lost for me for the rest of the night. Hard luck,” he says with nonchalance. “Seems like we're in the same boat now.” He glances back at Jackson who is now surrounded by a whole bunch of partying guys, many from his ex-clique as far as Jinyoung can see. Yes, Jinyoung wistfully thinks, looks like he won't be able to hang out with Jackson for at least the next hour or so.

“Seems so.”

“You want something to drink? I buy.”

“Oh, sure. Thank you. Something sweet would be good. A cocktail or something.”

“No problem. So you’re for the sweet things in life, yeah?” Mark asks while he puts his arm around Jinyoung's waist. They start to make their way back to the bar. Jinyoung appreciates the efforts of Mark to not get separated. On the other hand he feels his arm around his middle burning into his skin, even though a layer of fabric prevents skin to skin contact. Did it get even hotter in here? Is the club more stuffy than usual? Can't they open a damn window? Or is he imagining things? Whatever it is, he should respond to Mark's question.

“Absolutely,” Jinyoung answers. He speaks directly into Mark's ear now to be heard in the middle of all this noise. In the process he also comes to admire Mark's cologne quite a bit. They are so close. He tries to restrain himself from pushing his face completely into the guy who he met only minutes ago. But his neck looks tempting. It must be the world's prettiest neck. Jinyoung decides it's better to talk more to distract himself from his own questionable desires. “It starts already at breakfast. I love bread with sweet spreads, like marmalade. Strawberry is the best. Though raspberry is a pretty close runner-up. Cherry is also good. And wow, gooseberry, very special taste but delicious in my opinion. I also love chocolate cream or honey. Oh my god, I truly love all of these. I don’t really do cheese or all that weird stuff. Sometimes I just put butter and sugar on my hot toast and it’s like heaven in my mouth. Ever tried it?”

The guy looks a bit taken aback when he stares at Jinyoung with a furrowed brow, while they are waiting for their turn at the bar. Maybe Jinyoung went slightly overboard with his elaborations on his breakfast preferences. Again. But it’s not like he can control it. Talking a lot always has been a habit of his.

“No, I didn't, actually. I do all that weird stuff, like cheese for breakfast.”

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t intend to offend you.”

He smirks at Jinyoung. His eyes are burning holes into him. The bar is crowded and they are still too close to each other. Jinyoung struggles with the same set of feelings again, he wants to flee but he simply can't bring himself to.

“No worries. I don't get offended about breakfast supplies, Sugartoast.”

“S-Sugartoast?” he asks, perplexed.

“Yeah.”

“That’s not my name.”

“It’s a nickname. It fits.”

That's it, Jinyoung is even more flustered now and very grateful when Mark turns his attention to the bartender. It's the other one this time, since Yugyeom seems to be pretty busy with sticking his tongue down somebody's throat in the back of the bar. Jinyoung low-key notices how the bartender, he thinks his name is Yongho, tries to flirt with Mark. But the latter either doesn't realize it or doesn't care.

Eventually he's handing Jinyoung his fruity looking cocktail. After grasping his own, which seems to be a Cuba Libre, Mark is maneuvering him back to their more quiet corner where they met. This is far better to hold a conversation but there is also more space which means less physical contact with Mark. To his own surprise, Jinyoung realizes that this is something to be sad about.

“Cheers, Sugartoast.”

They clink glasses and have a sip of their drinks. Mark's eyes are barely leaving him. And it doesn't seem like he wants to let go of this new nickname any time soon. Jinyoung tries to piece together if Mark is just a confusing weirdo or a huge flirt.

They are sipping their drinks without talking about anything. Their surroundings are loud enough so it's not that awkward in general, but it's still a bit odd in Jinyoung's opinion. Usually he is a huge talker but Mark intimidates him with his blatant staring.

“I wonder where Jackson is,” he throws into the awkwardness.

“Probably kidnapped and getting sloshed. So you're in college with him?”

“Yes, I'm majoring in Literature.”

“Is it fun?”

“I.... don't know yet. Some parts are pretty much fun. It's interesting and I love to read. My professor is nice and the concept of college is more appealing to me than the concept of high school ever was. I met some pretty cool people as well. Overall I like it.”

“But?”

“But what?”

“You sound like there is a huge 'but' dangling somewhere in your statement.”

To avoid those searching eyes Jinyoung gulps down half of his drink. Mark doesn't say anything more but is still intently observing him. So Jinyoung takes a deep breath and starts to speak up. “_But_ some parts are simply dreadful and let me question my choices. Like, I decided to study Literature so shouldn't I love all parts and topics? Generally I like the most forms of literature, like different types of texts including novels, non-fiction, fiction and plays. But whenever poetry is a subject, I immediately fall into this self-pitying state, questioning WHY ME? Why must poetry be a part of all of this? Why can't I handle it better? Why does it hate me as much as I hate it? Why can't I just skip this whole issue? But no, I want to study Literature so I somehow have to tackle it. But I don't know how. I usually read for pleasure but poetry is never among my favorites and so I can't handle it well in college either. That leads me to the following questions: Was my decision right? Should I have studied something different? I don't know.”

Jinyoung's breathing is labored when he has finished his passionate speech. He probably shouldn't have explained it like that. He should have been more casual about it. He knows he already scared people away with his detailed reasoning. Either way, what's done is done and Mark is still here and seems unimpressed.

“Okay, so if you would readjust your major now, what would it be?”

“No idea. I have no other thing I like. Also my parents would shoot me, if I would change now.”

“So I guess you're thinking too much about things which won't be going to change.”

“That's..... kind of correct. Yes.”

“Good, so one thing less to doubt. Just make peace with your decisions and take responsibility for them.”

“Oh...uhm... if you phrase it like that, I guess that's right.” The blond only nods and finishes his drink.

“So are you in a relationship?”

Now this question is unexpected, Jinyoung thinks as he's still busy to perceive Mark's simple solution for his problems. “Uhm no. No, I’m not.”

“Do you want to have sex with me tonight?”

Now this is even more unexpected. Mark's unapologetic straightforwardness rattles Jinyoung once again. He needs a few seconds to let the question sink in and is sure that he doesn't look very clever meanwhile. “Wow... okay, that’s upfront,” he just manages to blurt out. But he's sure it wasn't any kind of joke. He looks pretty serious and very interested.

“I don’t think much of beating around the bush. So I am honest and tell you that I think you’re outstandingly attractive. I can't take my eyes off you.”

Unexpected again. This guy came to surprise him with every word coming from his mouth. “Oh…okay, thank you. Same here, I mean...wow... you're so good-looking it's crazy. But… we are both Jackson’s friends. Wouldn’t it be awkward?”

“We both know him for several years and this is the first time we cross paths. I think we’re safe from potential awkward future situations.”

So what is this? Is he really going to have sex with this guy? It's not like he never had a one-night stand before but they were rather rare for Jinyoung. Also the few which he has under his belt never turned out so great. He was more the relationship type of guy. So his brain tells Jinyoung to decline the offer and run. On the other hand, this is a golden opportunity. This guy is sex on legs and Jinyoung is thirsting over him since he laid eyes on him. So wouldn't it be such a waste to say no, if this demigod asks him to have sex? The tingling in his lower stomach agrees and wins out over his brain.

“O-Okay…,” Jinyoung mumbles.

“Awesome!” Mark cheers and Jinyoung can spot a hint of relief on his facial features. “My place or yours?”

“I'm living in a dorm, but it's close and I don't have a roommate at the moment.”

“These are the most beautiful words I've ever heard, Sugartoast.” The smile on his face is fetching and knocks all the air out of Jinyoung. No, he thinks, he never could have declined an offer from this attractive person. “So, ready to go?”

Jinyoung nods and a second later Mark takes his empty glass from him, puts it on some table and takes his hand to usher him out of the club. In the blink of an eye he also manages to hail a taxi. Jinyoung gets into the backseat and Mark follows. To his surprise Mark doesn't sit in his designated seat, on the other side of the backseat. Instead he finds a home in the center seat so that his body is snuggled against Jinyoung's.

The taxi driver eyes them through the rearview mirror and Jinyoung quickly tells him the address of his dorm building. Both boys grab their phones to send texts, Jinyoung to Jackson and Mark to his friend at the club, informing them that they left early.

And now they are sitting side by side and listening to 5 Seconds Of Summer's 'Youngblood' which comes from the car radio.

Jinyoung suddenly groans in frustration as he palms his face.

“What's up, Sugartoast?” Mark whispers. He sits so close and his sexy voice is so low that Jinyoung is sure the taxi driver doesn't hear him. That better be the case. No need to reveal his embarrassing new nickname to another living soul.

“I just thought that I should have kissed you in the club,” he whispers back, just as quiet. “What if you are a terrible kisser and now I'm taking a potentially terrible kisser home? I can't deal with terrible kissers. If the kisses suck, the guy sucks as well.... in a bad way I mean. Sucking of course can be good. But you get what I mean. No compromises when it comes to kisses!”

Mark reacts with an astoundingly high-pitched giggle at first before he speaks quietly again. “Rest assured. You've got yourself an ace here. Believe me when I say that I will satisfy all of your needs.”

The low whisper combined with the message of his statement and his intense eyes on him is enough for Jinyoung to feel something coming to life in his pants. The way their bodies are pressed together only heightens the arousal. God, he's way too close and way too sexy and Jinyoung is glad it's already dark outside and inside the car as well. He's not sure if there's a telling blush on his face or not. But Mark is so close, he probably would see his glowing cheeks anyway.

“Okay,” Jinyoung eventually whispers, a little breathless by now. “I'm thrilled to see what you got.”

“Oh Sugartoast, I'm gonna show you a whole new world.” Mark's hand comes up to tenderly squeeze Jinyoung's knee. But that's not the end. His hand starts to creep up his thigh very slowly. Jinyoung's eyes flit from his hand to his piercing eyes which are still observing Jinyoung's face without a break. Heat is suddenly spreading inside of him like a blast wave. His whole body is tensing up, except for this one, very lively part in his jeans.

This can't be true. He can't really try to feel him up in a fucking taxi, right?

“Mark,” he whispers. It was meant as a small warning but Jinyoung chokes on the word.

The blond is relentless. His sneaky hand now strokes up and down Jinyoung's thigh. The latter swallows thickly. He doesn't dare to say anything more. Too afraid he is of a potential crack in his voice. But Jinyoung doesn't really want to swat this hand away either. It's kind of nice to be touched like this. It's comforting in a sense and Mark probably wouldn't try anything more risky.

But he didn't expect Mark's growing boldness. Jinyoung realizes that he never planned to only stroke his thigh. Tantalizingly slow, his fingers now slide up his inner thigh. It feels like his hot skin burns through the fabric of his skinny jeans. With panic in his eyes, Jinyoung glances in the rearview mirror. The driver is luckily busy with handling the traffic. Now he directs his gaze at Mark, meeting those fiery eyes once again. There is no smile on his handsome face. Instead he looks so serious but also so very dazzling and alluring that Jinyoung is almost melting into the seat.

But high tension keeps him on his toes as Mark's fingers are now dancing dangerously close to his crotch. Jinyoung's breath hitches a little when he notices how Mark is licking his full lips while staring down at the area in danger.

“Mark,” he whispers again. And again it should come out as a warning but it resembles more an encouraging moan and Jinyoung hates himself a little for it.

When the first fingertip gently presses against his clothed dick, Jinyoung has to shut his eyes and his mouth in order to control himself. Mark is unimpressed though. He just starts to rub two fingers against his cock. And oh wow, it's getting hard down there and it is happening fast. Jinyoung knows Mark feels it. He digs his nails into the fabric of the seat, trying to control his breathing at the increasing pleasure.

But Mark obviously plans to kill him and now moves on to fully palm his semi. He's massaging his cock like there's no tomorrow. Jinyoung wants to whine and scream to express the bliss which runs through his body but with all his might he tries to keep it down. His eyes are still closed but his head lolls back against the headrest, exposing his neck. He attempts to breathe solely through his nose to not let any embarrassing noises slip out of his mouth. Even though he doesn't see it, he knows Mark is staring at his face yet again. He senses his eyes like a looming danger. Mark is watching him like a predator watches his prey.

The blond increases the pressure on his dick, putting more effort into driving Jinyoung insane. “Sugartoast, you look so damn tempting. I don't know how to control myself,” he whispers into Jinyoung's ear before soft lips are pressing a kiss to his neck.

“Fuck!” Jinyoung just couldn't keep this moaned curse inside. Without his permission it fell from his lips and probably was a tad too loud.

“Hey, can you guys stop being all over each other? It's sickening,” the taxi driver grumbles and when Jinyoung abruptly opens his eyes at the sound of his voice, he sees how he glares at them through the rearview mirror. Jinyoung is too shocked and too embarrassed to say something so he just nods ruefully.

“Last time I checked, your job was to drive and not to judge,” Mark shoots back harshly.

“Arrogant brat. I don’t tolerate any guys making out in my car,” he spits, now looking at them with obvious disgust. Jinyoung wants to hide in the deepest pit possible.

“I don’t care about your opinion but could you be quiet while not tolerating us? It gets annoying.”

“Get out!” The guy pulls over to the side of the road before he's turning around to scowl angrily at them.

“Fine!” Mark says defiantly and opens the door. He crawls out of the car and pulls Jinyoung after him. The blond nudges the boy behind himself before he leans down to once more make eye contact with the outraged taxi driver. “I hope you and your hateful ass have the worst night ever. Fuck you!” And with this he slams the door shut and takes Jinyoung's hand to pull him away from the moving car.

“Well that was… intense,” Jinyoung mumbles while he follows Mark. Not that he has a choice, since the other is still grasping his hand tightly while he marches towards their destination.

Jinyoung isn’t sure what to think about the situation which he just had witnessed. Somehow he thinks Mark was rude by speaking up like this. On the other hand the taxi driver was rude first. It’s not like they got out of line in the backseat. Or more like the taxi driver couldn't see _how_ they got out of line in the backseat as Jinyoung is sure that he didn't spot what Mark's hand did to his lower region. If a boy and a girl would have been this close to each other, the driver would probably have overlooked it. Basically he's glad that Mark didn't let this unfair treatment pass without a comment. And looking at it like that he thinks that Mark reacted rather cool.

“So what? If I’m not completely mistaken we’re almost at your dormitory anyway. And we didn’t even had to pay that prick. We won,” the blond casually states.

“That’s actually true. How do you know my dormitory though.”

“The same as Jackson's, I assume.”

“Correct again.”

“I have my smart moments,” Mark says and turns to Jinyoung with a dazzling smile on his face. For a moment he is worried to lose his balance just from the power of it. “Now Sugartoast, will you show me your room?”

Jinyoung wouldn't do anything rather than showing this gorgeous boy his room so he's quick to lead the way to the respective building and the said room.

These are the moments when Jinyoung is truly glad that he is rooming alone in his dorm. He would like to believe that his roommate didn't flee at the very first opportunity which arose but he actually made it pretty clear that he did just that. Turned out Jinyoung's ample elaborations on trivialities every day weren't easy to handle. Even though he feels a little lonely at times after his roommate moved out, it's worth the privacy he gained through it.

He opens the door to his room and lets Mark slip inside. As soon as Jinyoung closed the door behind himself, Mark is crowding him against it. His back is pressed against the smooth surface while the blond is right in front of him, their chests just shy of touching. Mark places his hands left and right next to Jinyoung's shoulders against the door as if he wants to block any possible escape route.

Mark's predator eyes are boring into his while the tiniest of smirks graces his full lips. He looks dangerous. Jinyoung swallows as the other leans in, almost in slow motion. With every passing second, the panic as well as the anticipation increases in his muddled mind.

Their lips touch. The kiss is soft and short, fleeting like a stroke of butterfly wings. Mark pulls away. But he dives right back in a second time, now longer and with more vigor. It feels like a firestorm ignites between them. Jinyoung is happy to involve himself as well. Their impatient lips slide over each other's for a few sweet moments, until Mark pulls away again.

Jinyoung thinks his heart hammers so loud that the whole building can hear it while he stands there, still pressed against the door, his eyes closed. He knows it, he feels it how Mark still lingers right in front of him. His lips hovering over his mouth and it's only a question of time when he will attack again.

Jinyoung waits and waits. Everything is tingling. His whole being is screaming for more but he decides to just wait for it. It feels like days but he knows that it takes Mark mere moments before he comes back to him. His soft lips are blessing Jinyoung's once again and the contact once again resembles the intensity of a blaze.

When Mark pulls away again Jinyoung still won't open his eyes. In the back of his mind he fears that opening his eyes would mean the end of it.

“And? Regret taking me home?” Mark's low voice rasps.

“Absolutely not,” Jinyoung answers with shut eyes and a bright smile.

“Beautiful,” he hears the other mumble before he is back on him. His mission this time seems to be a different one, Jinyoung thinks. He tries not to hiss when Mark roughly bites his bottom lip and instead just opens up for him. Mark's tongue slips inside and ravages his mouth immediately. With a burning passion he licks inside Jinyoung and strokes his tongue.

It's demanding. It's undeniable. It's all-consuming. It feels so good, so good that Jinyoung can't stop the whimper erupting from his throat.

Mark's hands start to go on a journey along Jinyoung's body. His palms move up his chest, feeling all of it without hesitation. Eventually one hand travels to the small of his back to pull Jinyoung closer. Their fronts crash together. The other hand arrives in his hair where those long fingers comb through the thickness of his dark strands.

Jinyoung decides to not only find comfort in Mark's mind-blowing kisses but also strives to satisfy his curiosity. His hands come up to loop around the blond's neck, his fingers touching the most of it in the process. Blunt nails graze the delicate skin of Mark's nape before Jinyoung starts to play with the short hair of his hairline. In the back of his mind the decision is made that it not only looks like the world's prettiest neck, the feeling just confirms the quality of it.

The noises they make while they vandalize each other's mouths are resonating lewd and obscenely loud in the silence of the room. But Jinyoung enjoys it. It makes his skin hotter, his mind flying higher and his pants even tighter.

Sneaky hands move across his body again. Nimble fingers, slipping under his shirt just to meet the white t-shirt he wears underneath it.

“Why are you wearing so many clothes?” the blond pants as he detaches his mouth from Jinyoung and beholds him with a cloudy look.

“I went out in public. Society demands to be fully dressed, you know?”

“I hate society,” Mark states before he starts to basically rip off the buttons of Jinyoung's shirt.

“That's a mood,” Jinyoung chuckles. He is amazed at how quick Mark is to get rid of all the clothes which cover his upper body. When Jinyoung is half naked Mark lets his eyes slide over his bare shoulders and chest, then his taut stomach and hips until they return to Jinyoung's face, much darker than before. Forcefully, he pushes Jinyoung's shoulder back against the door before he enters his mouth once again. The kiss is almost brutal in its intensity. Jinyoung loves it. He loves the display of strength. He loves how his blood starts simmering in his veins. He loves how Mark's palms are traveling across his hot skin, with confidence and precision.

Just when Mark is about to unbutton his jeans he pulls away and waits. Jinyoung doesn't know what he waits for so he's working through his haze to peer at the blond through half-lidded eyes. This handsome face. This intensity. It hits him all anew. He feels like he's under the microscope with those firm eyes searching his face. The sound of their gasps is the only noise until Mark speaks.

“You're still on board with the sex thing, right?”

“Do I give off a different impression?” Jinyoung smirks at him.

“No,” the blond chuckles. It doesn't really fit the situation, this cute sound. But soon Mark is back in the game and is admirably quick to peel Jinyoung out of those skinny jeans. It feels like it took only a blink of an eye until Jinyoung stands there in only his underwear while Mark is still fully dressed.

Curious eyes are inspecting his body, not even a hint of shyness identifiable in them. “I got more than I bargained for,” the blond marvels. His tongue slowly swipes over his bottom lip as if it longs to savor everything of what his eyes are absorbing right now.

“Thank you. Maybe you could show me now what _I_ got?” Jinyoung asks with a suggestive smile. Though before Mark can even react, he's moving away from the door and attaches himself to the boy. Jinyoung straightaway goes for his neck, blessing the smooth skin with wet, open mouthed kisses. His hands slip under the hem of Mark's t-shirt to explore the expanse of his back. The latter lifts his chin to allow more space for Jinyoung's sudden invasion.

“Your mouth is a treasure trove,” he groans.

Jinyoung takes his time to suck a huge hickey into this perfect skin. He faintly notices a squelching sound right next to his ear. When Mark shoves his hand down the back of Jinyoung's boxer briefs he realizes that the blond wetted his own fingers.

“Somebody is impatient,” Jinyoung breathes against exceptional pretty collar bones.

“How could I not with you being the epitome of temptation.”

Jinyoung never saw himself as epitome of temptation before, but hearing it, parceled in a low mumble, is definitely something he could get used to.

A very wet fingertip is poking his entrance and a second later Mark pushes in fully. It hurts. Mark is rough and eager while working inside of him, though the angle is not the best. Luckily Jinyoung can distract himself pretty good, painting more marks on this beautiful long neck in front of him. If he has the opportunity for once to satisfy his needs on such a showpiece neck, he will make the fullest use of it.

“Hey Sugartoast, how do you feel? Think you're stretched enough?”

“Probably not. I probably will hate you as soon as you're putting it in. But I can deal with it, if you can deal with a few insults.”

There is this cute high-pitched giggle again. It's mysterious how the same vocal chords can produce this deep, raspy voice but also this kiddy giggle. Yes, mysterious, but not unattractive.

“I can deal, Sugartoast. Let's go!”

He pulls his fingers out of Jinyoung to grab his ass cheeks, now both hands in his underwear. He lifts him up and Jinyoung wraps his arms and legs around him while being carried to the bed. Mark makes good use of the time and the position. He presses a few kisses to Jinyoung's collar bones before he basically throws him down on his bed without a warning. But he lands in his soft blankets anyway so there's no need to complain. He rather enjoys watching Mark undressing in front of him.

Just like he did it before with Jinyoung, he sheds his clothes at the speed of light. Jinyoung reevaluates. Mark now turned from a demigod into a three-quarter-god in his eyes. That's how gorgeous he looks without clothes covering his stunning body. Smooth, unblemished skin (except for his neck) embellishes his lean but muscled body. Jinyoung's mouth is watering, ready to taste everything. He wants all of that and he wants it now.

Mark obviously doesn't plan to needlessly prolong things. As soon as he gets rid of his underwear and reveals his hard dick, he crawls onto the bed to do the same to Jinyoung.

All of his movements seem quick and sleek, like a wildcat. It fits his predator vibes, Jinyoung thinks. The blond marvels at Jinyoung's nakedness for a few moments longer. The electricity, the tension in the air, all these little sparks pattering on Jinyoung, electrifying him. He can't wait any longer. He grabs Mark by the arm and pulls him on top on himself. Gladly Mark complies and evades his mouth again with all the burning passion possible. His kisses are hard and hungry. He rolls his hips down hard against Jinyoung’s erection. Their needy pants are swallowed up by each other, disappearing into the depth of the other's throat.

“I can't wait any longer. Do you have a condom nearby?”

“Side table. Drawer,” Jinyoung gasps and points vaguely at the piece of furniture without even looking at it. He much rather spends his time looking at the wildcat-three-quarter-god moving.

It's like Mark moves at full speed when it comes to those things which don't involve touching Jinyoung. Getting the condom, putting it on and also fishing out the lube from the said drawer and using it accordingly, it goes by in a matter of seconds.

Jinyoung watches him with delirious eyes while he tries to catch his breath. And then luckily Mark is back on top of him.

“Open wide, Sugartoast,” he says with a lopsided grin as he pushes Jinyoung's legs apart. He slides his hard cock into Jinyoung's ass in one go and as expected he isn't stretched enough to take it good.

“AAAHHH! YOU DAMN FUCKER! I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU! FUCKING ROTTEN BASTARD, IF YOU DARE TO MOVE NOW I WILL SLAUGHTER YOU!”

Mark stops all his motions. He's probably looking at Jinyoung. The expression on his face, unknown to the suffering boy. He's too busy to keep his eyes squeezed shut in an attempt to cope with the flood of pain.

“Wow, are you done insulting me?”

“Not yet, you fucking wanker. It hurts like a bitch. Fuck! Fuck! FUUUUCK!”

“Okay, keep it coming. I kind of like it,” he says in a playful tone and Jinyoung is glad that he doesn't feel offended for real. To be fair, Jinyoung gave him a warning before so he has no right to feel offended anyway. “I will give you time.... or try it as best as I can.”

“How very generous of you,” Jinyoung snaps through gritted teeth and receives amused snickering in return.

“But let me tell you how fucking amazing you feel around me, Sugartoast. You're the tightest, little bitch I ever had the honor to bang,” Mark moans breathlessly.

Jinyoung grunts dismissively at that but doesn't deny that this rude dirty talk gets to him. He takes deep and slow breaths for a while longer. He faintly notices how Mark's hands are massaging his thighs. Eventually Jinyoung opens his eyes again only to see that Mark is watching his face with a curious gaze.

“What are you looking at, you damn fucker?”

“A beauty,” he simply states with a surprisingly soft smile playing on his lips. He leans down to press a few gentle kisses to Jinyoung's chest before he murmurs against his skin, “Does it still hurt much?”

Jinyoung's dick twitches slightly. “I guess it's fine now,” he mumbles. He's a bit taken aback by the sudden softness and doesn't know how to react to it. Luckily he doesn't need to ponder any longer, since Mark immediately goes into overdrive and starts to pound into him.

“Fuck,” Jinyoung wheezes before Mark knocks all the air out of him.

“Pain?”

“No! Good! FUCK IT'S GOOD!”

And good doesn't even nearly cover it. It's amazing. It's hard and merciless and upfront and exactly what Jinyoung needs. He needs to get fucked senseless, without frills and sugarcoating. Just somebody who is able to throw all the unnecessary thoughts out of his head, declutter it completely. It feels like Mark is going through his brain with a high-pressure cleaner, removing all the worries, all ifs and buts, all the trash from his mind to leave the only thing that counts: unapologetic pleasure.

Not half a minute into it, Mark hits his prostate dead on and sends Jinyoung into a frenzy.

“OH MY GOD!” Jinyoung digs his nails into Mark's back. The blond releases deep, unrestrained groans which seem to reverberate even in Jinyoung's nerve endings. He thrusts into him harder. Jinyoung still rocks himself down on his cock, meeting him halfway which makes the experience even more intense. Jinyoung slides one hand all the way up this long, beautiful neck into Mark's blond, styled hair to ran his fingers through it. He makes a mess of it but just doesn't care. Mark doesn't seem to care either. He just cares about his dick inside Jinyoung and now also about Jinyoung's dick as well, which he touches with determination.

Jinyoung thought it couldn't get any better, but those long, firm fingers around his erection are a gift from heaven. He jerks him off without restraint. His hand working on his dick quick and hard. Jinyoung throws his head back, pressing it deep into the pillow while he's moaning Mark's name. His hand tightens in the tangle of Mark's hair.

Mark's hip motions become unsteady but not any less powerful. Jinyoung knows he's close, probably as close as he himself is. A couple seconds later Mark comes with a fierce grunt, pressing deep into Jinyoung. His hand roughly works Jinyoung's dick and only moments later makes him come as well. The latter is writhing under the blond, almost melting into the mattress.

Mark collapses on top of Jinyoung, panting into the crook of his neck after making it through his orgasm.

“Wow,” Jinyoung breathes, not able to form a single thought in his empty-fucked brain.

“Sugartoast, your cum is all over the place.” Mark pulls his face out of his hide-out and grins at the blissed-out boy underneath him. A second later he lifts his hand and licks some of Jinyoung's come from his fingers. “I thought you would taste awesome. I thought it the

moment I laid eyes on you in the club. I was right.”

A small shiver travels through Jinyoung's body. His mind is still wonderful fuzzy but this statement somehow makes it through his fogginess. He simply stares back at the handsome blond boy on top of him.

Mark lifts himself up a little, just enough to pull out of Jinyoung and peel off the condom. He then crawls up and kisses Jinyoung's lips. The latter tastes his own cum. He thinks it tastes good because Mark said it tastes good.

Mark's tongue also tastes good. Jinyoung's empty brain gives him the command to suck it, so he does. Mark moans into his mouth, quiet and satisfied. Jinyoung plays with the short hair in the back of his neck while he enjoys all the effort Mark puts into his kisses.

“You know,” Jinyoung starts to talks when Mark pulls away a bit to give them both the opportunity to breathe,” I have this kink that I like to scream 'harder harder' during sex. But I couldn't even do it because you went in so hard right from the start that I never even had the chance.” Jinyoung doesn't know why he's telling him this. Sure, he talks a lot but this information isn't really part of his usual small talk repertoire.

“Sorry,” Mark chuckles. His eyes which seemed so dangerous before now looking down at Jinyoung soft and shiny.

“Nah, don't be sorry for satisfying my needs without me instructing you how to do it. This was amazing.”

“But it was short.”

“Yeah, guess we both had some pent-up energy to get rid of.”

“Are you up for some more?” There, the intensity is back in his gaze, the sizzling electricity which signals Jinyoung to be back on his toes again.

“Yeah,” Jinyoung breathes while he maintains eye contact.

“Do you trust me?”

“Hell no, I don’t even know you,” Jinyoung snorts.

“Fair point. Okay, let me phrase it differently. Are you up for a little adventure?” The expression on Mark's face looks a tad mischievous but also very serious.

Against his better judgment Jinyoung murmurs a soft “Yes”. He knows it's not very responsible to trust this technically still stranger. But Mark owns a special kind of attraction which Jinyoung can't seem to be able to escape from.

“Great.” Mark jumps to his feet to roam around Jinyoung's room in all his naked glory. Eventually he almost disappears into his closet.

“What are you doing? You need to summon help from Narnia?”

“No Sugartoast, for now I don't want to involve more people.” Jinyoung swallows. “I just search for some equipment. You can just stay put. Your only mission is to enjoy.”

“E-Equipment?”

“Got it!” Mark reappears with a sleep mask, a pair of suspenders and a bright smile on his face. He hops back on the bed to lift the arms of a very confused Jinyoung. With much care, he starts to tie his wrists to his bed's headboard, using the suspenders as bonds.

“You're tying me up,“ a now flabbergasted Jinyoung points out the obvious.

“Yes, and I will blindfold you as well. That's the adventurous part.” He explains it as if it was a normal thing to discuss.

“Okay....” Jinyoung still knows that it's not very responsible, especially now when he has to let go of every ounce of control. And still desire yells louder than reason.

“Alright Sugartoast,” Mark starts as he settles down on Jinyoung's middle, “your safe word is 'Jackson'. If you feel uncomfortable or scared with something I do, you say this and I stop.”

Jinyoung chuckles. “Why the heck would it be Jackson?”

“Because however horny I would be at that point, after mentioning this name everything would be over,” he explains and pulls a face.

“Alright, got it,” Jinyoung laughs.

Mark nods and then pulls the sleeping mask over Jinyoung's head. He positions it over his eyes in a way that he can be sure he really won't see anything. This makes Jinyoung latch onto the realness of the situation. He can't move around. He can't see what's happening. He's completely and utterly at Mark's mercy and this realization alone is enough to make his stomach flip with anticipation.

Soft fingertips are slowly running up and down Jinyoung's sides with a tenderness which he wouldn't have given Mark any credit for so far. The temporary blindness heightens his other senses. The slow, deep breaths which come from Mark are contrasting with the sound of his own, already ragged breathing.

Mark's palms roam across his chest repeatedly as if he can't get enough of the feeling of his skin. Mark slides up Jinyoung's body a bit to reach his tied up arms. The sudden touch of his lips on him startles the boy. He kisses Jinyoung's elbow and continues all the way down his triceps. His tongue slides over the tender skin, so close to Jinyoung's ear that he can hear the tiny slick sounds. Mark doesn't even make a stop at his arm pit. Instead he dives right in and Jinyoung can't stop himself from giggling when his lips caress the ticklish area.

The blond offers a deep hum in return and again Jinyoung feels like his body is absorbing the noise to let it decay inside of him.

Mark moves on. His palms are slide up and down Jinyoung's triceps. Probably a measure of soothing to distract him from his sharp teeth which are grazing along his collar bones and create small sensations of pain. Mark is a biter, Jinyoung realizes in his own, private state of darkness. He bites his skin, not enough to truly injure him but enough to elicit pain, a pain that quickly turns into arousal.

By the time Mark licks over his collar bones to tend to the small bruises, Jinyoung is already panting like a chased animal.

Soft lips are pressing down on Jinyoung's chest, move along the ridges of taut muscle. Everywhere they touch him, his skin starts to tingle and pulse, as if all the blood gathers right at this spot to celebrate the gracious visit of Mark's lips.

Jinyoung is already embarrassingly hard again and he knows Mark feels his erection pressing against him.

The slow pace of everything is disrupted when he suddenly drags his thumbs roughly over Jinyoung's nipples. A yelp escapes his throat and his body shifts under the touch. It gets worse when those sharp teeth nibble at one of his hard nubs. Jinyoung chokes on his own spit. He's coughing for his life while his arms try to stretch against the restraints, the startling effects of the sharp incisor which is digging into this sensitive area of his chest.

“God Sugartoast, you're a whole masterpiece. You're art, finer than I ever saw before.” Hot breath hits his spit coated nipple. A small moan slips past Jinyoung's lips. Mark's voice is sultry and low, every word dripping with appreciation and arousal. It calms the struggling boy down surprisingly fast, throwing him back into this world of bliss and fuzziness. It feels good to receive so much praise, especially when it comes from someone as handsome and stunning as the boy on top of him.

He assumes the torture of his nipples is wrapped up now. The pad of Mark's index finger runs down Jinyoung's chest and continues to bless his stomach, sliding through some remnants of cum. The pace is slow but that makes it more thrilling. Anticipation builds up more in his insides with every covered centimeter. The naughty fingertip reaches his belly button and swirls over it sensually a few times before it slides down further.

His lower abdomen clenches. The sensitive area where only one teasing finger is enough to elicit an unwanted shiver. He never expected that such a simple touch could reduce him to a shuddering mess, thrilled to find out what would happen to him next. Because that’s the point. He doesn’t have any say in the events. He just waits and endures or enjoys whatever Mark feels like doing to him.

And apparently Mark feels like getting off him and leaving him lying there.

“Hey! Where are you going? We're not done here.”

“I look for more equipment, Sugartoast. I'm right back on your sinful body.”

“I feel like an idiot, lying here all by myself,” Jinyoung sulks.

“But I can tell you that you don't look like an idiot. Quite the opposite, I'd say. You look like the hottest, horny bitch around.”

“Come back here now!” Jinyoung demands. He hears the door of his mini-fridge closing and is once more wondering what Mark is actually looking for.

“Already here.” He feels how Mark is crawling back on top of him, his bare skin sliding against Jinyoung's which only adds to his incessant desire. But his words sounded kind of funny, Jinyoung decides.

“Are you eating something?”

“What should I eat? The only contents of your fridge-freezer are vodka and ice cubes.” Still it sounded like Mark would have something in his mouth. Odd.

But Jinyoung has no time to contemplate further since a heart-stopping frostiness pours over his stomach.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!” Jinyoung's whole body is twisting and turning, trying to deal with the sudden coldness. But Mark won't grant him much freedom to do so as he holds him in place. Too big is the contrast between his hot skin and the freezing ice cubes which are now melting on Jinyoung's upper body.

“Awesome, Sugartoast. Scream for me more,” Mark moans.

“YOU FUCKING PRICK!”

“You're beautiful.”

“I WILL KILL YOU! YOU WILL DIE AT MY HANDS! UNDERSTAND THAT, YOU FUCKER?”

“Yeah, awesome.”

“FUCKING BASTARD!”

But this fucking bastard doesn't seem to feel offended in any way. Instead he proves Jinyoung's earlier assumption wrong and slides one of the ice cubes up and rubs it over his nipple to continue the torture.

Jinyoung yelps, then screams. His arms strain against the suspenders. His bed is rattling dangerously in the process. Mark's other hand guides one of the ice cubes to his lower abdomen and massages his sensitive area with it until it slowly melts away.

Struggling and screaming, Jinyoung doesn't know what to think. Wherever Mark is touching him, his skin feels like it burns away in a wildfire. The chilly coldness which was added, confuses his mind and his body. It's like spraying water into a bonfire. It's dangerous and intense for a short time until it's sizzling in the heat. But in the mess which riots in his head right now, it is decided that he likes it. His twitching, rock-hard dick is another indicator for inflicted pleasure and the whole new dimension of sensations which Mark created for him.

The blond suddenly takes his hands away from him, letting Jinyoung wither by himself while he slides down his body. Jinyoung is still not over the icy attack but in the back of his head something wonders what will be next. The uncertainty, the helplessness, it all feels as thrilling as it feels scary. It's a strange feeling to be completely at somebody else's mercy. The anxiousness nags at the edges of his mind but the arousal licks up his entire body.

Without a warning, lips wrap around his throbbing erection. To his horror, Jinyoung realizes that these lips and mouth are ice-cold. So that was it, Mark had ice cubes in his mouth earlier.

“DEATH! THIS IS YOUR DEATH SENTENCE, FUCKER!”

Jinyoung whimpers pathetically while he again tries to wriggle out of his bindings. It was probably a good idea to tie him up. Otherwise he would have punched Mark in his handsome face multiple times already.

The blond chuckles around his cock but doesn't stop to stroke it with his tongue. He seems to take sweet satisfaction in the moans, whimpers and curses which he elicits from Jinyoung. Mark's palm is on his stomach, feeling the clench and shake of his muscles.

The initial shock and also the coldness wears off, only leaving bliss behind. Jinyoung hisses in delight as Mark's tongue slides through his slit, playing with his head. The mental image of a wildcat playing with its quarry chases through his mind.

Mark is good, so good as he bobs his head up and down around his cock. Jinyoung tries to lift his hips to get more from Mark, to urge him go give him even more friction. But firm palms are pressing him down so that yet another part of his body is rendered immobile.

Mark sucks his tip just to go down on his cock again until it hits the back of his throat. “M-Mark! Mark, oh god. Fuck! Yes!” Jinyoung is panting for air, whining and mewling as if his life depends on it. He knows he's seconds away from his sweet release and he wants it. He doesn't want anything more than this.

But everything is ruined in a moment. Mark pulls off of his erection. Jinyoung feels like all the happiness is taken away from him. From up above the clouds he fell into the deepest darkest pit of disappointment.

“No! No! NOOOOO! Let me fucking come, Mark!” Jinyoung whimpers and tries to fight against Mark's hold on him.

“I will.”

“When? WHEN? You fucking jerk! WHEN?”

“I'm not done with you yet,” the low voice answers, calm and dangerous.

“Sadist!” Jinyoung hisses.

“This is just for your own good. Trust me.” The blond seems to get a kick out of prolonging the delicious anticipation of his orgasm.

The next second Mark is placing open-mouthed kisses on Jinyoung's stomach. He slides his tongue up and down his abs and Jinyoung groans once again. If it's from frustration or from pleasure, Jinyoung doesn't know anymore.

Mark goes lower, pecking his happy trail a couple of times before he traps some of the short hairs between his teeth and pulls on them. Jinyoung feels like he catches fire right this moment. The prickling feeling is intoxicating. It hurts so much but he also feels like a desire is satisfied which he never knew he had.

“Ah...Mark. Oh my god. Fuck!” he pants. Mark alternates between soft kisses and his little hair-pulling game and every time Jinyoung feels like all his nerve endings receive their own little, blow jobs. To top it all off, Mark now curls his fingers around Jinyoung's slick, leaking length and starts to slowly stroke him. It's overstimulation. He feels like he's falling apart.

Jinyoung doesn't know anything anymore. His mind is blank. There's only his primal greed for pleasure present in his head which normally only lurks in the back and watches his rationality make decisions. But now this very greed steps up to block out any other thought or need.

“P-Please. Please Mark. I n-need to come. Please. Please let me.”

He's a blubbering mess. Nothing is important anymore unless it's done by Mark. Every touch and every tiny move of the boy on top of him suddenly means the world. He wants more of him, even more than now. He wants to be devoured by him completely to make sure he never would have to let go of these gorgeous feelings which he induces.

“You're dazzling, my sugary boy.”

Jinyoung's moans only intensify at that. Those pet names are doing things to him, especially uttered by this breathy, raspy voice.

The blond lets go of him once again. Seconds later he's back on Jinyoung and finally pushes his dick inside his clenching hole. He's relieved to find out that Mark is just as hard as he is, even though Jinyoung couldn't touch him even once.

“S-Sugartoast,” he groans. “You're so tight for me. So hungry and tight.”

The blond makes quick work, blessing Jinyoung with strong, deep thrusts.

“You can scream 'harder' now,” he suggests, moaning.

“You already go hard,” the boy gasps.

“But I can do better. I just need the right motivation.” Jinyoung doesn't see the smirk, but he hears it all the more.

“Then show me. HARDER! HARDER! MAKE ME FUCKING COME! HARDER!”

And Mark slams into him harder, much harder. Jinyoung should be worried about his bed but he's long past the point of caring. Mark draws out and fucks back in, creating a lewd slapping sound again and again.

It doesn't take long until the other finds Jinyoung's pleasure spot again and invades it without mercy. Back arching and jaw falling open, this is Jinyoung's immediate reaction. Some incoherent words or rather noises are falling from his lips as he receives the hard cock repeatedly. He feels his climax approaching as fast as boiling water shoots out of a geyser. He tries to warn Mark but his wafting mind can't accomplish. So after two more, exhilarating thrusts he just lets this force of nature roll over himself.

With a scream-cry he comments the events while hot cum spreads on his own stomach. He clamps down hard on Mark's cock, making him sensually groan on top of him. Only seconds later he presses deep inside Jinyoung and stays there, shuddering through his orgasm with a raw, bestial sound ripping from his throat.

Jinyoung's head is swimming. He lost all his senses, all his reasons. He only knows the feeling of all-encompassing bliss.

Mark destroyed him completely just to reconstruct him all anew. Mark burned him to ashes, reduced him to nothingness, just so Jinyoung could arise from the dust like a glorious phoenix. He never felt like this before. The intensity, the thrill, the unknown, everything brought him there and Jinyoung wishes he never would have to leave this place of satisfaction ever again.

The heavy weight of Mark's body on top of him helps to ground him, to keep him more into this whole experience. He feels and hears how the other breathes heavily, mixing with his own gasps for air. Then Mark moves a little, pulls out of Jinyoung and probably gets rid of the condom. A second later, demanding lips are on his, kissing him with rekindled passion until the blond has to give up in order to breathe some more. Still being on top of him he catches his breath for another minute until he hears his raspy, quiet voice.

“How are your arms?”

“Numb.”

“Shit. Sorry, I will untie you right away.”

“Wait,” Jinyoung stops him and surprises himself a little with it. “One more kiss before.”

Mark complies, kissing him gently. He plays with his lips for a few seconds, savoring the taste. Then he pulls away and crawls up to undo the suspenders, like he promised.

Jinyoung groans and rubs his wrists.

“Close your eyes.” Jinyoung does and Mark takes off the sleep mask. Slowly Jinyoung opens his eyes again, blinking to get used to the light in the room.

“It's wet,” Mark states perplexed as he palpates the mask.

“I might have cried a bit,” Jinyoung murmurs.

“Oh.... I would have loved to see this.”

“Sure you would, you fucking sadistic pervert,” the boy grumbles and glares at the smirking blond boy.

“Tell me that you didn't like it.”

“Maybe later. I'm tired.” Mark chuckles, probably knowing that Jinyoung liked everything very much. But the latter isn't ready to admit that yet.

Mark uses the sleep mask to poorly wipe the cum off Jinyoung.

“I have to burn this later.”

“You can wash things, you know?” Mark points out playfully and Jinyoung only huffs in return. He turns to his side, his back facing Mark.

“I'm tired.”

“Me too. But how is it Sugartoast, do you still want to kill me?”

“At least not right now, you lucky bitch.” He hears Mark laughing behind him. “Will you stay the night?”

“Yes.” Jinyoung feels Mark's warm, naked chest against his back and an arm wrapping around his waist before Mark covers both of them with a blanket. Yes, Jinyoung thinks, he's still in the middle of that mind-blowing experience. He tries to fight off sleep to revel in it a bit longer, but he's bound to lose.

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

Something pokes his cheek. What an annoying dream. Or maybe, this isn't a dream.

Jinyoung's eyes flutter open to behold a handsome face right next to him. Images from last night flood his muddled brain. The three-quarter god, Mark, who fucked him so good. The one who managed to exhaust his brain and his body to the point that all Jinyoung was left to know was a world of lightness.

But now it's morning, his body hurts in places he never even knew could hurt, and the three-quarter god is fully dressed again and crouching down at his bedside.

“Hey Sugartoast, good morning,” he says with one last poke to Jinyoung's cheek.

Jinyoung notices how his hair is a wild mess, though it still looks entirely sexy on him. Mark is tilting his head to the side while he fixes Jinyoung with a curious stare. He probably expects him to say something. But before Jinyoung can gather some words he realizes another thing. He is still lying in bed, completely naked and somehow without anything covering his nakedness. Quickly he reaches behind himself and yanks the blanket over his lower body.

“No need to be shy now. I have seen it all,” Mark chuckles.

Jinyoung simply watches him with wide eyes. He's still not saying a single word, when Mark suddenly lifts his hand and places his palm on Jinyoung's bare chest. He slowly drags it down, his pretty doe eyes following the movement. Jinyoung remains completely still as he once again has no idea about what the other plans.

Mark's palm reaches his stomach, passes his navel and then disappears under the freshly acquired blanket. Jinyoung swallows thickly, not knowing what comes next. Turns out that Mark stops before it gets too critical. His palm rests on Jinyoung's lower abdomen, still very close to the dangerous area but not moving any further to execute anything more. Still it provokes more excitement in Jinyoung than it should.

Mark's eyes snap back up to Jinyoung's face and Jinyoung forgets how to breathe. The blond starts to gently stroke the delicate skin near his dick. He thought he would be completely fucked out but Mark's sensual touch is enough to rouse his erection from slumber. Jinyoung's morning wood grows steadily under the blanket and he silently prays that Mark won't notice. Then again, his hand is pretty much in the danger zone, so how could he not notice?!

“Sugartoast, I had a great time with you. I'm so glad we met. But I have to go now. I have promised to meet somebody.”

Jinyoung only nods, still beholding him with wide eyes while his fingers dig into the blanket to hold it in place.

“Okay,” Mark sighs and takes his hand off Jinyoung's body. Jinyoung exhales, feeling like this hand also did press down his lungs. “Bye Sugartoast.” With a last soft smile he straightens himself and turns around.

“Bye Mark,” he whispers as he watches the boy leave his dorm room.

As soon as the door shuts behind Mark, Jinyoung falls back into his sheets, feeling like a jellyfish after all his body tension evaporated. He stares up at the ceiling while he tries to assess the situation.

Did this go like it was supposed to be going? Is this allowed in the international unwritten one-night stand rule book? At least Jinyoung himself never experienced such a one-night stand morning. The famous sneaking-out-after-sex-while-the-other-is-still-asleep method, yes, he definitely experienced that. And also a completely strange, no-speaking-but-odd-mumbling morning routine while both parties pray that the other one would just vanish into thin air while they inwardly die a silent death of awkwardness, he endured that a few times as well.

But to have your one-night stand guy waking you up just to say goodbye to you while he almost makes you come again just with a simple touch and his burning gaze, that shouldn't be allowed. Jinyoung is sure that Mark broke the law of the international unwritten one-night stand rule book.

“That bastard,” he mumbles before his hand finds his erection and gets to work.


	2. Two

Jinyoung knocks on the door of his best friend's room but there is no answer. Knocking was courtesy enough, Jinyoung decides and enters without further notice.

He spots Jaebum sitting on his bed and bobbing his head to the music which he enjoys listening through his headphones while he leafs through some magazine. Jinyoung slides himself into his field of vision and earns his attention. Jaebum takes the headphones off and greets Jinyoung with a bright smile.

“Hey, I didn't hear you coming in.”

“I kind of guessed that,” Jinyoung chuckles while he plops down to sit on the bed as well. “Your mom let me in and said I can just go up because you're not doing anything important.”

“Well, thanks mom,” Jaebum murmurs and rolls his eyes which makes Jinyoung giggle even more. “If living at home wouldn't be so convenient and cheap, I would also move into my university's dorm.”

“And here I thought you like to be a good son and spend a lot of time with your parents.”

“Yeah, but I also like privacy and growing up.”

“You have to do laundry yourself when you want to be a grown-up, Bum-Bummie.”

“That's the part I don't like about growing up,” Jaebum states and pulls a face. “And don't Bum-Bummie me, Jin-Jinnie.” He throws a smug smile at Jinyoung but the latter only looks back at him with a fond smile on his lips. “You can't be seriously okay with Jin-Jinnie.”

“It's cute.” Jinyoung shrugs.

“Jeez, Jinyoung,” Jaebum groans.

“I love it when you jeez at me. It makes me feel more alive,” Jinyoung cackles and maybe he only does it to rile up his friend even more, just for the fun of it.

“Double jeez!”

“Double alive. Yaaay!” Jinyoung now outright cheers, raising his arms and doing a little happy dance. Jaebum watches him. Jinyoung can tell he wants to glare but he can't quite bring himself to do it. Jinyoung considers this a victory for humanity.

“All I say is, just because we don't see each other so often anymore, it doesn't mean you need to find new terms of endearment.”

“I'm not.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I just truly think that Bum-Bummie is cute and it suits you.”

“Whatever,” Jaebum mumbles, once again rolling his eyes at Jinyoung. “So?”

“Huh?”

“You didn't complain about poetry or any other minor disturbance in your life by making a lamenting speech full of confusing content even once since you came into this room today. That's weird. So what's up?”

“Nothing's up. Life is good.”

“What happened so that life is good suddenly?”

“Nothing.”

“Spill it, Jinyoung. Just say what you want to say. I can see it in your eyes anyway.”

The scrutinizing gaze which Jaebum sends him now reminds him of Mark. It doesn't come close to its intensity but still it's enough to bring back a few images from last weekend. Jinyoung tried his best to push the memories back down during the past few days but was only semi-successful. He just hopes that time will do the trick. For now he decides to play dumb.

“What do you mean?”

“Every time you have something to tell but kind of trying not to tell but also kind of want to tell, you get those anime eyes.”

“What?”

“Like somebody drew big white stars into your eyes which seem to grow and threaten to pop out with every passing second. So please spare us more of this misery and just tell me what you don't want but kind of want to tell me.”

Damn him, being his best friend for an eternity and knowing Jinyoung so good that he can't hide shit from him. Jinyoung sighs and ruffles his own hair before he lets his head fall back against the wall.

“I met someone in the Lighthouse last weekend. His name is Mark.”

“Oh, okay. We don't know a Mark, right?”

“No. It's a friend of Jackson's apparently.”

“So do you like him?”

“Hell no!” Jinyoung denies immediately.

“But you seem so relaxed and happy. So I thought....”

“To be honest, he fucked me really, really good. Like earthshakingly, groundbreakingly good.”

“Oh...wow, so much information. And you even make up new words to deliver the fitting description. Well it's hardly surprising that you're happy then.”

“Since then I feel like my daily problems became a little less important and dramatic. He cleared my head and that feels awesome.”

“He really achieved that? To shut up the pondering brain of pondering Park Jinyoung? He must be a true artist in bed.”

“He's a pervert with slightly sadistic tendencies.”

“Again very much information. But whatever he has done, you seem to have liked it.” Jinyoung can't deny that much. “At least that explains your collar bones....” Jaebum hooks one finger into the neckline of Jinyoung's slightly loose t-shirt and pulls it down. “He really made a good job of this. Even though when I spotted it just now, I wasn't sure if I should call an ambulance.” Jaebum continues to stare at his scratched collar bones with an appreciative look until Jinyoung pulls away. To be honest, it looked worse the two days right after that experience. By now it already started to heal.

“Yeah, that. It's not as bad as it looks. He's a little.... wild. And very much unpredictable.” Jinyoung can't hide this dazed smile which appears on his face whenever he thinks about that night. Mark really did ineffable things to him and Jinyoung feels the slightest bit embarrassed but also very liberated, proud and a bit dirty, in a good way.

“I see. Sounds interesting. And how is he as a person?”

Jinyoung contemplates for a few moments. To describe Mark as a person is surprisingly difficult. “He’s a little strange.”

“How so?”

“I don’t know how to put it. He’s very straightforward.”

“Not necessarily a bad thing.”

“To the point it’s more or less rude.”

“More or less? Sounds pretty vague to me. Was he rude to you?”

“Not so much.”

“So why exactly don't you like him? Is he ugly?”

“What?”

“No? Okay, he's not ugly. Then why, Jinyoung?”

“It doesn't matter. It was a one-night stand, okay? Yes, he fucks like a champ but apart from that I don't really think that we vibe together. And it's not like he's infatuated with me either.”

“Huh, what a pity. That means you won't meet him again?”

“Probably not. Whatever, it was good while it lasted,” Jinyoung ends the discussion. “So what are you up to? How is life?”

“Not much happening. College is fine. Courses are fine. Maybe I should find that Mark guy to get some action,” he taunts while flaunting that smug smile.”

“Im Jaebum, calm your dick down,” Jinyoung snaps.

“Oh, what happened to Bum-Bummie?” Jaebum guffaws. “Is there somebody suddenly possessive of his freshly found sex champ?”

“No? I just don't want to start a history of sharing guys with my best friend,” he huffs and crosses his arms in front of his chest. Jaebum laughs and pats Jinyoung's hair.

Well, there's no way Jinyoung would pass Mark around like a challenge cup.

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

“Why are you wearing so many clothes?” Jackson asks and beholds him with a dismissive look. They are standing in Jackson's dorm room, preparing to venture out to some kind of party which Jinyoung was informed about only 15 minutes ago.

Before he can answer, the door opens and Jackson's roommate enters. He stops in his tracks for a moment to look at both of them before he gives them, or rather Jinyoung, a noticeable eye roll. He closes the door and trudges towards his bed.

“You're here.... _again_,” he mutters before he takes a seat.

“Hey Alex, nice to see you, too. Are you doing good?” Jinyoung never gives him the satisfaction of being offended. Instead he always displays a chirpy cheerfulness in front of Alex, even though he makes it pretty clear that he doesn't like Jinyoung very much.

“Whatever,” the grumbled response is. The boy sprawls on his bed and starts to look at his phone.

Jinyoung shrugs before his attention shifts back to Jackson.

“Again Jinyoung, why are you wearing so many clothes? We're going to a party, not a prayer group.”

Jinyoung is temporarily thrown back to the moment one week ago when Mark was undressing him and asked him the same question. Good times, Jinyoung thinks. These moments came to haunt him all week long at the most surprising times. Mark staring at him. Mark whispering into his ear. Mark touching him. The memories are still as fresh and vivid as if it would have been just yesterday. He never before jerked off this much in one week.

“Jinyoung?”

“Yeah, uhm, it's just a sweater, Jackson.”

“Yeah, it's also warm outside. And at the party it will be even hotter. So I give you a sweater ban.”

“You can't ban my clothes.”

“Sure I can. And this,” he gestures to Jinyoung's top, “is a no.”

“Stop acting so offended. It's a sweater, not a fucking crime.”

“Take it off.” Jackson crosses his arms in front of his chest to underline his current obstinacy.

“What? No!”

“Take this thing off. I won't go out with you when you hide your sexy body like that.”

“Then go the fuck alone.”

“Unacceptable. I can't leave you here, unsupervised with your...eew _books_,” Jackson spits. “So take it off.”

Jinyoung rolls his eyes. Of course Jackson wouldn't accept it and just leave him alone. Of course not. It's Saturday and Jinyoung just wants to relieve some stress, not adding up to the already present stress.

“Fine,” he sighs and takes his sweater off. In the process his t-shirt, which he is wearing underneath, rides up and exposes his stomach. After discarding the warm item of clothing he his quick to pull it back down.

“It suits you well,” Jackson marvels with a grin playing on his lips.

“The t-shirt?”

“The bare skin. You should wear a crop top or some shit to show what you got.” The next second, a textbook hits Jackson's calf and he screams in pain, though Jinyoung thinks it's more a scream of surprise.

Both their heads whip around to look in the direction where the flying object came from, which is Alex's bed.

“Sorry, I dropped it,” the boy mumbles.

“Wait, since when are things dropping sideways and with the force of a rocket launch?” Jackson rants. His roommate only shrugs and returns his attention to the contents of his phone.

“So obvious,” Jackson mutters while he's rubbing his calf. “Hey Alex, isn't your boring ass project group meeting up now?”

The boy scowls at Jackson but before he can say anything in return his phone rings. He takes the call and they witness a very short conversation which ends with Alex sighing, “Yeah, I'll be right there.”

Alex rolls himself off his bed, grabs a few papers and a book and trudges back to the door.

“Good luck surviving that meeting,” Jackson calls after him.

“Uh-huh.”

“We will have fun at the party. Thaaanks.”

“Whatever,” is the last word he says before he pulls the door shut behind himself.

“Poor boy. Hard luck to get into that kind of project group which loves to meet up on Saturday evenings. Fun is an alien concept for them,” Jackson says with sympathy while shaking his head.

“I can't understand how you can live with him.”

“What do you mean?”

“He's always so... grumpy.”

“Oh my dear friend, he's only like that when you're here. I get along with him just fine.”

Alex, the son of a Swedish mother and a Korean dad. A stunning-looking boy with big hazelnut-brown eyes, long, dark eyelashes, chocolate brown hair, high cheekbones and beautifully shaped lips. Everything about him is enchanting, except his personality, in Jinyoung's opinion.

“Then what's his problem with me? I was always nice to him.”

“Sadly not nice enough to stick your tongue down his throat.”

“Excuse me?”

“You still don't get it?”

“Don't get what?”

“Okay, you obviously don't get it yet.”

“What are you talking about?”

“That Alex has a huge crush on you.”

“Funny,” Jinyoung huffs. “So is there coming any quality content or can I stop listening to you now?”

“No joke, I swear.”

“I don't believe you. He's always glaring at me and he either chooses to not speak to me at all or speak to me impudently.”

“That's his indeed silly way of dealing with rejection.”

“What rejection? I didn't even know I had something to reject.”

Jackson sighs and ruffles his hair, obviously trying to convince Jinyoung somehow of the impossible. “Jinyoung, you really don't see it. But he seems to be annoyed that you're not crushing on him like he is crushing on you. I guess he doesn't know how to handle this situation and all of his feelings. Maybe the Swedish do it like this.”

“Don't pin his weirdness on his origin. He's just acting like a brat and I don't think he likes me in any way and I think you're insane.”

“No, believe me. It's all true. Isn't it telling that he's always nagging at you but he never tells you to get out of our room?”

“It's also your room.”

“It's also _his_ room. He would be entitled to kick you out, if he would be really annoyed by you. But he secretly likes it when you drop by. He also tries to low-key find out stuff about you by asking me questions. He tries to not make it obvious but man, he fails. He's so bad at it, it's a bit sad but also amusing. Still, I always act like I wouldn't catch on to it. And oh, he likes to sneak peeks at you when you're here. You think he really was focused on his phone just now? No! He glanced at you all of the time. And when you revealed your sexy abs just now, he almost popped a boner.”

“Oh,” is the only thing Jinyoung can say to all of those revelations. That's truly a turn of events he never had expected. Jackson is looking expectantly at him but Jinyoung has no idea what he actually expects. “Why didn't you say anything earlier?”

“I thought you would notice it yourself. But by now I accepted that I was wrong.”

“He wasn't actually obvious about it.”

“I just told you that he asked me all of this stuff about you. So obvious! How didn't you notice?”

“Because you and I are not the same person, Jackson. How should I know, when you never told me anything?” Jinyoung snaps.

“Oh....yeah. That sounds plausible.”

Jinyoung rolls his eyes. Jackson sometimes is in his own way very challenging.

“Anyway, what do you think?” he pipes up again.

“About?” Jinyoung asks, raising a questioning eyebrow at his friend.

“Being with Alex.” Jackson still looks at him with expectant eyes but now an expectant smile joined in.

“Gosh, give me some time to assess the situation, will you?”

“But you would be good together.”

“He still would act like he hates me every time we meet, right? So basically nothing changed,” Jinyoung points out and shrugs.

“Incorrect. You now know about his crush on you so why won't you be a little nice to him?” Jackson elbows him playfully and wiggles his eyebrows. It's not nice but he reminds Jinyoung of a sleazy whoremonger for a second.

“I repeat: I'm always nice to him.”

“Not like that,” Jackson vetoes and wildly gestures with his hands as if he wants to dispel Jinyoung's statement. “Flirt with him, touch him a bit and stuff. Let him know about your feelings.”

“Which feelings?” Jinyoung questions, a little confused.

“The feelings you have for him? Boyfriend feelings?”

“Huh? Wait! Wait, wait, wait, I don't have feelings for him. Five minutes ago I still thought he hated my guts. Also why is it suddenly my responsibility to flirt with him? _He_ has the feelings. It's _his_ job to woo _me_.”

“Yeah, but I'm afraid he won't move forward without a little encouragement. And I genuinely think you would make a great couple. As I said, I get along well with him. He's usually a pretty cool and nice guy. He's not dumb either. He's good-looking. Did you see how good he looks?”

“I noticed, yeah.”

“See? This could be all yours. He also has a good body. As a dedicated roommate I know this about him.”

“Sure,” Jinyoung scoffs. Jackson excusing ogling his roommate like this tops everything off.

“And he isn't a fuckboy. Seriously, he's not sleeping around. He's faithful to you even though you reject him all of the time.”

“I... what? I never rejected him.”

“So you really like him? Aw, so cute.” Jackson clenches his fists and presses them against his own cheeks. It's probably his attempt to act cute but Jinyoung is a little grossed out. For safety reasons, he takes a step back.

“Jackson,” he groans frustrated, “I'm losing my damn mind with you. Just let me be clear here. I never rejected Alex because he never had the guts to confess to me, or even be only remotely nice to me. I don't have feelings for him. And as long as he won't change his behavior towards me, nothing about this situation will change. Understand that?”

“You're truly not the slightest bit romantic,” Jackson complains with a pout and a scowl shading his face.

“Not true. I'm super romantic. The situation isn't. I don't know where this sudden attempt at matchmaking comes from, but please stop. It's disturbing.”

“I only want the best for you. And he's so good-looking, Jinyoung. So damn good-looking.”

“Yeah yeah, I know,” Jinyoung says indifferently and rolls his eyes. “Can we go now?”

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

Jackson leads him into an apartment building. As soon as they enter they already hear the music and a jumble of voices from somewhere above their heads. Slowly they make their way up the stairway.

“So who is throwing this very loud party up there? Did you ever tell me?”

“No, I don't think we had time for this so far. It's Mark Tuan.”

Jinyoung swallows and stops dead in his tracks. “Mark Tuan as in Mark, the guy from the club?” Jinyoung asks perplexed and maybe his mouth is hanging open a little bit while he stares at Jackson's back of the head.

“Oh good, you remember him. Yes, this Mark,” Jackson confirms and turns around for a second to smile at Jinyoung. But when he sees his face he stops as well and turns around fully on the steps. “Is there a problem?” his friend asks and narrows his eyes.

“Uhm…no....,” Jinyoung murmurs while he inspects the woodchip wallpaper instead of returning Jackson's gaze.

“Jinyoung, what is going on?”

“NOTHING’S GOING ON. CALM DOWN!”

“I am calm but you’re yelling.” Oh oh, Jinyoung knows he lost. Now Jackson sure knows that something is wrong. But maybe he can still avoid the sex confession.

“Uhm, does he know that I’m coming as well?”

“Sure…. maybe…. okay, I don’t really know. We didn’t explicitly talk about it. Anyway, it will be packed up there so it won’t make much of a difference.”

“Uhm….okay then....”

“What?”

“Nothing?”

“Okay, just spill it. I hate that I-have-something-to-tell-you-but-I-won’t-actually-tell-you behavior of yours. There is something. I see it in your eyes.”

“Stupid anime eyes,” Jinyoung hisses to himself.

“Pardon?”

“N-Nothing. There is nothing. Let's go-”

“OH MY GOD!” Jackson suddenly yells at him and Jinyoung presses himself into the wall, unintentionally bracing himself for what comes next. “Please tell me that you didn't sleep with him.”

So much for the avoidance of the sex confession, Jinyoung thinks. Jackson seems rather shocked and Jinyoung doesn't know why. Yes, he didn't want to rub it into Jackson's face but he actually expected him to not care much. But this looks like Jackson cares a great deal. Jinyoung only now realizes that he didn't give him an answer at all. “OH MY GOD YOU REALLY SLEPT WITH HIM,” Jackson downright screams and puts his palms up against his forehead.

“So what?” Jinyoung asks meekly.

“That was the reason why you went home so early. Wow, you lied to me. You lied to me to go and sleep with Mark Tuan. What the fuck, Jinyoung?!”

Jinyoung still has no idea why this is such a big deal. It usually isn't so it must be because of Mark.

“Yep, we had sex. We had great sex even. But I don't see the problem,” Jinyoung replies, trying to act like he regained his composure already.

“This isn't going to work. You and Mark, this won't ever work out,” Jackson fusses.

“Can you calm down? It was a one-night stand. I don't plan on starting a family with him.”

“So it won't happen again?”

“Probably not?”

“Jinyoung!”

“What? Why is this so important to you? What's wrong with Mark?” Actually Jinyoung could think of a few things which are wrong with Mark but he wants to know what Jackson's exact problem is here.

“He...uhm........ he...... he sleeps around. Yes! He sleeps around! He even slept with me once. I sleep around, too. But he...uhm..... yes, he's the same. Happy?”

Jinyoung wouldn't describe this feeling inside him as happiness but he also partly expected worse. Also Jackson seems a bit too flustered for the simplicity of his statement. This is weird. But Jackson is sometimes (often) weird.

“You're making such a fuss because he sleeps around?”

“Yes! He's not good for you. Not like Alex. Alex is a good boy, not a fuckboy. You would be so good together. Two good boys together.”

“What makes you think that I want to date a version of myself?”

“You should like yourself, Jinyoung.”

“Yeah, fine. I like myself. But why are we talking about Alex? _Again._”

“Because you should sleep with _him_ and not with Mark.”

“Why do you care so much?”

“You're my friend and I don't want you to get hurt. Boys like Mark hurt boys like you. Is this explanation enough?” Now he seems rather serious. Maybe Jinyoung should stop bugging him.

“Jackson, I appreciate your concern but I can assure you that it's all in vain. I'm fine. I won't fall in love with Mark or anything. Believe me, I'm miles away from that happening.” Jinyoung now speaks in a gentle tone. He don't want to fight with his friend.

“Really?” He looks at Jinyoung like a helpless puppy.

“Really,” he confirms with a soft smile.

“I guess then it's okay. Because if he would hurt you in any way, I would have to murder him and I don't want to murder my friend.”

“Cute.”

“Whatever,” Jackson huffs.

“So you slept with him?” Jinyoung interrogates, smiling up at him mischievously. His curiosity suddenly runs at full speed.

“It was only once and it happened long ago and he's that freaky jerk in bed” he murmurs, obviously not very thrilled to talk about that subject. Jinyoung doesn't care. His smile only grows.

“Who topped?”

“Now this really isn't important,” Jackson snaps.

“Wooooooow, he topped you.” Jinyoung laughs and claps like a baby seal.

“It was a little bit more complicated than that, okay?” Jackson pouts while his arms are crossed on his chest.

“Yeah? Like how?”

“Like shut the hell up I won't tell you!” he grumbles before he turns around to stomp up the stairs.

“It’s astounding how prissy you are about this while there is absolutely no reason to be. Be a proud bottom, Jackson,” Jinyoung cheers while he skips up the steps to follow him.

“Shut up.”

“Embrace the beauty of bottoming.”

“Shut up!” Jackson grumbles but it makes Jinyoung only giggle more.

He would have loved to continue teasing his friend but they arrive in front of an ajar apartment door. Abruptly the realization hits him that he's about to meet Mark again. He swallows, tries to stay calm while a torrent of indecent memories floods his mind.

“You okay?” Jackson beholds him skeptically.

“Sure. Let's go.”

Jinyoung quickly makes the plan to avoid Mark as good as he can. It can't be that difficult after all. When they squeeze themselves through the people in the small hallway it's already evident that the apartment is packed. To stay away from Mark shouldn't be impossible.

They make it to the living room and there is Mark, shoving his tongue down another guy's throat in the middle of said room. There are so many people in here. Nevertheless Jinyoung spots him immediately as if everyone else would be transparent.

He sees the back view of the guy who Mark has his arms wrapped around. They stand there, kissing as if there wouldn't be a terribly loud party going on around them. It's not the first time Jinyoung sees somebody he had a one-night stand with making out with another guy. Not at all. He isn't outraged or deeply hurt by it. But it's kind of weird seeing Mark like this. And it's this kind of weird which makes him wish he wouldn't have seen it.

Jinyoung stands still near the doorway to the hallway, glued to the spot, staring.

“See? I told you,” Jackson grumbles next to him.

But when Mark opens his eyes for a split second in between kisses, he looks straight in Jinyoung's direction, eyes meeting right away. Everything around them freezes. Jinyoung feels like time stopped, people stopped, everything stopped except Mark and him. The air is charged with electricity. Tiny sparks are dancing around them. Mark's eyes are as clear and deep as he remembers, his gaze as strong and piercing as it was in that night. Jinyoung's heart stops for a few moments, it froze as well.

The moment ends all at once when Jackson takes him by his arm and drags Jinyoung into another room, the kitchen, how he quickly realizes.

“You okay, Jinyoung?” Jackson looks worried. That's unnecessary, Jinyoung thinks. He's okay. Why shouldn't he be? Nothing's up.

“Sure. Don't look at me like that. I already told you I'm not planing on starting something with him. Just relax, Jackson,” Jinyoung reassures, trying his best to sound playful while he pats Jackson's shoulder. He's not sure if his friend is buying it though. His gaze still weighs heavy on Jinyoung, eyes full of doubt and curiosity at once.

“Drinks!” Jackson suddenly exclaims and whirls around. “We need drinks.” And with this he disappears in a throng of people.

Jinyoung leans against a vacant spot at the kitchen counter. For a while he observes the bustling around him. But then the still fresh memory of Mark and the other guy flashes through his mind. Then the image of Mark's eyes, searching his, so clear and intense like Jinyoung perceived them from the first second of knowing him.

He shakes his head and all those stray thoughts out of his mind (he hopes). Jackson is gone for at least ten minutes by now and still nowhere to be seen. Jinyoung takes a look around and realizes that he doesn't know anyone else here.

“Hey, you looking for something?” a skinny, widely smiling boy asks him after he slid himself right in front of Jinyoung.

“More for someone. I kind of lost my friend somewhere here.”

“Oh, I'm sure he will emerge from somewhere soon. Hey I'm BamBam.”

“Jinyoung,” he retorts and shakes the offered hand of the enthusiastic boy. “BamBam, how very unique.”

“Nice word you're using there. That's by far the best description I ever got for my name.”

“Oh, people can be asses, I guess.”

“Yes, they can but i don't care,” the boy laughs and Jinyoung believes him. “I think I've seen you around. Are you going to the club sometimes? The Lighthouse I mean?”

“Yeah, pretty often these days.”

“Ah! I've seen you there. I never forget a pretty face.”

Such a sleazy pickup line, Jinyoung thinks. But it's accompanied by a very fetching smile so he doesn't really mind.

“Thank you. Are you close with the host?”

“Mark? Yeah, we're super good friends. He loves me to bits, I swear. We're like brothers you know? Sharing everything.”

“Oh, okay,” Jinyoung answers softly. He has a hard time imagining Mark loving this excited guy to bits but what does he know about Mark anyway?!

“And you?”

“I know him only casually,” Jinyoung answers in the absence of a better explanation. “My friend knows him better.”

BamBam nods in understanding. “Still I'm glad you came. To be honest, we kind of urged Mark into throwing this party as a measure to celebrate his return to society.”

Jinyoung tilts his head and looks at the amused boy with confusion. “What do you mean?”

“You might not know this but he doesn't really throw parties if he's the one to decide. Though his apartment is perfect for parties. Such a waste.”

“No, I mean the thing with returning to society? What's that about?”

“BAM!” Mark appears out of thin air right next to BamBam. He glances at Jinyoung before he looks at the boy beside him. But it was enough for Jinyoung to press himself instinctively further into the kitchen counter.

“Hey Mark, good to see you. I couldn't talk to you yet because I didn't see you once tonight without a guy attached to you,” BamBam happily explains.

“Yeah, whatever. I think Yugyeom just dropped by. Go and look for him.”

“Huh? He has work tonight. Are you sure he's here?”

“Not really. Just go and look for him.” With this Mark literally shoves a surprised BamBam out of the way and doesn't even watch how the boy stumbles into a group of people. Instead he steps right in front of Jinyoung. And there it is again, his sharp gaze is already starting to burn holes into Jinyoung's skin.

Jinyoung tries to act as if Mark's sudden presence wouldn't rattle him so massively. “Were you talking about Yugyeom from the Lighthouse? Bartender-Yugyeom?”

“Yeah, this one,” he rasps and puts his hands left and right next to Jinyoung's hips on the counter. That's too close. Mark is too close and Jinyoung's mind is already all over the place again. But he tries to contain himself.

“They know each other?”

“Yeah.... you could say that,” he admits with a smirk on his full lips. He angles his body even closer to Jinyoung. Was breathing always so difficult? Is Mark sucking all the air away from him? Are they in a vacuum suddenly? Where is all the oxygen? “So Sugartoast, you here, in my apartment. How very brave of you.”

“Brave? Why would it be brave?” Jinyoung mumbles, trying to maintain eye contact. He can't show weakness.

Mark leans in even closer. “Isn't it brave for a handsome little boy to walk into the lion's den?” he whispers right into Jinyoung's ear, voice low and sexy.

Air! He needs air. And why is it so hot in here suddenly? And when exactly came Mark this close. A second ago he was still talking to BamBam and now everything is chaos.

After a couple moments of being entirely paralyzed, Jinyoung comes back to his senses and shoves him away. Mark responds with his trademark giggle.

“Little boy my ass,” Jinyoung hisses.

“I also said handsome, Sugartoast. Don't ignore that,” he says, still smiling his fucking charming smile while he approaches Jinyoung again.

“You don't even remember my name,” Jinyoung grumbles. He tries his best not to show how flustered he truly is. What does this guy even want from him?

“I do remember your name, Jinyoung. I simply choose to call you Sugartoast. Soooooo, I'm surprised to see you here.”

“Just so you know, I didn’t came here on my own.”

“No, you came with Jackson. I saw you.” Right, Jinyoung thinks, he saw. Of course he saw, while he was sucking another guy's face.

“Yes, but I didn’t come here by choice.”

“So Jackson abducted you to drag you here,” he chuckles.

“No. But I didn't know it was _your_ party at first.”

“Does that mean you don’t want to be here because it's my party?” It's tiny, barely noticeable how the corners of his mouth drop the slightest bit. But Jinyoung is so focused on his face that he noticed the change.

“I didn’t say that. It’s just that I didn’t especially came here to bother you.”

“Who says you’re bothering me? I’m actually glad to see you again.”

He's glad? He's actually glad to see Jinyoung again? That information leads mainly to bewilderment in Jinyoung's head. So his response is just a soft “Oh”.

It starts again. Their little staring game is back. Mark's pretty doe eyes, clear and strong, are magnetic. Jinyoung can't look away. He can't move. He's sucked in by this fervent intensity. He would be a completely lost cause if it wouldn't be for Mark who suddenly pipes up and ends this intimate moment.

“You don't have a drink. Wait a minute.”

With this he turns around and walks over to the kitchen table where all kinds of bottles are displayed. During their little chat some people seemed to have left the kitchen so that Jinyoung can still see him without having groups of people blocking the way.

He makes use of the break to take a deep breath, the first one since Mark invaded his personal space.

Jinyoung's eyes take in Mark's back view. He wears light blue ripped jeans and a dark blue, loose muscle shirt. His arms look as stunning as ever, muscles flexing with every move he makes. Jinyoung wants to run his tongue along them so badly. He scolds himself inwardly when he notices where his thoughts strayed to. The gutter. His mind is already in the gutter again. Damn Mark Tuan.

He tries to distract himself with something harmless but as soon as he glances at the long, perfect neck it's over again. There are still the remnants of the huge hickeys visible which he sucked into his skin last weekend. It brings a smile to Jinyoung's lips.

While Mark mixes some liquids together, Jinyoung observes how some random guy approaches him to grope Mark's ass. It might be the guy from earlier. Jinyoung doesn't know really, since he didn't pay him much attention. Mark only so much as glances at the guy before he shifts his focus back on the drinks. The guy pushes himself closer, hugging Mark's waist sideways now. But Mark seems to be annoyed at the sudden lack of space and pushes the other off. To Jinyoung it seems like they have a short argument. He can't hear a single word of their conversation but in the end the guy scrams, looking thoroughly annoyed.

When Mark turns around with two drinks in his hands and a smile on his face, his eyes are immediately back on Jinyoung.

“Here, Sugartoast. Enjoy!” Mark holds out the glass to Jinyoung as soon as he's back.

He takes it from him and inspects it cautiously while he tries to sound indifferent with his next question. “Was that your boyfriend?”

“I don't have a boyfriend. If I'd have one, I wouldn't cheat on him, you know?”

Jinyoung believes him. Mark's unapologetic straightforwardness doesn't allow him to doubt his words. “Okay? Then who-”

“Try the drink.”

So he won't answer questions about this guy. Fine. Jinyoung doesn't care anyway. “What is this?”

“Obviously something with alcohol in it, just in case you expected to get a juice mix from me.”

“But it's sweet?”

“Of course it's sweet for my Sugartoast.” This smile will ruin Jinyoung sooner or later. He's certain about this one thing.

“Pffff,” he snorts. “Did you put something in.... some...uh... stuff?”

“What are you talking ab- wait. You're not implying that I may try to drug you, right?”

“Uhm... was just a question. I read this article about these new rape drugs and how they are used and the potential victim literally has no chance to detect them. Like you won't see or smell, not even taste anything and it's so scary. Imagine something like this would happen to you. You would lose all control and be at the mercy of a sexual offender and it's just dreadful and wrong and I don't know why the government can't protect people better. No, basically it already starts with the people. Why are people so horrible and want to harm others like that? Is this the world we're living in? Seriously?”

“Wow... okay. Sugartoast,” he sighs. He looks confused. Jinyoung is also a bit confused. He doesn't know where this sudden speech came from. It seems that his habit of rambling is not mixing well with the nervousness which Mark's presence causes. “You aren't wrong about that. It is horrible and people are shit. Government is shit as well. Hurting people is horrible and doing something to them without their consent is downright wrong. It's good that you're aware and look after yourself. But you're not correct about one thing: I'm not one of them. Do I look like a guy who needs drugs to get you naked?”

“First of all, I'm sorry. No, I don't really think you're one of them. But since I read that article I'm a bit more cautious in general. And second, I don't know how guys typically look who use drugs to get people naked. Though I'm glad you're not part of this nasty bunch. And third, you want to get me naked?”

“Isn't it obvious?” His eyes are burning into Jinyoung. There's not a full smirk on his lips. It's more like only one corner of his mouth, slightly curling up like it's testing the waters.

“It wasn't so obvious when you had your tongue in this other guy's mouth though.”

“Earlier, when you arrived, you mean? That was just because I didn't know the great Sugartoast would make an appearance today. Look where I put my tongue now.”

Mark leans in and Jinyoung's eyes flutter shut right away. Mark's lips gently caress his. It only lasts a moment before the blond pulls away, waits just a second and continues after Jinyoung didn't show any sign of protest. On the contrary, he is eagerly responding to those soft lips. He tries not to think about how they ended up like this. Though it's not very hard since he basically only thinks about Mark and the turmoil he causes inside of him. When he starts to lick Jinyoung's bottom lip, the latter can't help but think about the wildcat, gently asking for entrance before he's messing him up again. And exactly that happens. As soon as the other's tongue slips inside him, it's over for Jinyoung. He is working miracles inside his mouth. Destructive, untamed miracles, but miracles nonetheless. When plump lips are enclosing his tongue to suck it, Jinyoung can't stop the moan which leaps from his throat.

Mark pulls away. They both need to catch their breath. Mark doesn't tear his eyes away from Jinyoung even for a second and Jinyoung has to admit yet another time that he's so insanely hot.

“Oh wow,” Jinyoung pants.

“So would you like to accompany me, Sugartoast?”

“Where to?”

“My bedroom.” His voice dropped so low when he said that. The combination of the sound and the meaning of his words makes Jinyoung's stomach flip like a pancake.

“Mark, I literally only spent half an hour at this party,” he points out just to not give in immediately.

“And you had so terribly much fun so far that you don't want to leave already? Like where?” He gestures wildly around with raised eyebrows and he looks cute while doing it.

“Okay fine, maybe I didn't.”

“So come with me and you will have much more fun. It's a promise.”

The confidence which Mark carries himself with is truly impressive. Surprisingly there's no cockiness detectable. It's more a definite certainty, a sureness about himself which he radiates without even having to try hard.

“I didn't even finish my drink yet,” Jinyoung makes a last attempt at nagging.

“Just take it with you. You're allowed to consume alcohol anywhere in my apartment.” Mark emanates so much charm, it's almost unreal. Jinyoung seen this before in movies. Lead actors pretending to be perfectly smart and suave playboys. And here is Mark, without a script, without stage directions, without the perfect lighting, without any artificial staging. He's like that naturally and the realization of this fact almost overwhelms Jinyoung.

“Well, sounds like today is my lucky day.” Jinyoung can't suppress his shy smile. He doesn't even want to act hard to get anymore.

“Oh Sugartoast, just let me show you _how_ lucky.” Now there is the smirk which threatened to appear on Mark's lips for some time now. Jinyoung is glad to see it. It makes him smile even wider.

Mark takes his free hand and pulls him through his apartment. Jinyoung's heart is already rioting in his chest. Too vivid is the memory of Mark against his skin. Too great is the longing to feel this thrill and satisfaction again. He wants to have all his problems fucked away once more. He wants to be consumed and exhausted. The notion of repeating this glorious night is just impossible to resist.

They squeeze themselves through several groups of people until they arrive at their destination. Mark pushes the door open and turns on the light in one swift motion. Revealed are three couples, all blinded by the sudden brightness and all at different stages of making out. A wave of groaning and muttered curses greets the two boys.

“Everyone get the heck out of here,” Mark announces, voice firm.

“Mark?”

“What the hell?”

“Hey, what’s that about? We were having fun, you know?” one guy grumbles. He's leaning against a wall, already half naked with his female companion, in a similar dress code, on her knees in front of him.

“Have fun in the somewhere else. I don’t care. Right now I need my room. _We_ need it.” He squeezes Jinyoung's hand a little more and pulls him farther into the room. “And now everyone out. Jane, pack up your boobs. Nobody wants to see. And wow, Changho, your penis is _that _small. You should put it away before everyone else sees it. Though it's really difficult to spot so never mind.”

“Shut up, Tuan,” the boy in question hisses as he zips up his pants and walks out, taking his make out partner with him.

“So you gonna get it good, yeah?” a girl grumbles at Jinyoung while she walks past them.

“Yes, he will. And now go home to continue having coitus. Be proud and be fertile but don't be it in my apartment,” Mark calls after her in a cheerful voice before he shuts the door and locks it afterwards.

“Well, that was embarrassing,” Jinyoung murmurs. He makes good use of the time Mark is busy with the door by gulping down the rest of his drink in one go.

“What part?”

“The part where they all know what we’re about to do.”

“We literally caught them attempting to do the same. So what?”

“I....uh… I guess you’re right.”

“And are you done now with your liquid courage?”

“Since the glass is empty I am now done and brave.”

“Good to know, Sugartoast. Very good to know.” Mark approaches him slowly, his eyes scanning his entire body. Jinyoung feels like he's under the X-ray machine.

Mark stops right in front of him and pulls on the hem of Jinyoung's t-shirt.

“Less clothes, I like this concept.”

“That's not surprising. You really don't like to work for your reward, huh?”

“You saying I'm lazy?” Mark asks, sounding playfully offended while he slides his hand under Jinyoung's shirt. “Now that's a little unfair. I would remove a whole collection of winter clothes from you if I had to. But you can't blame me for wanting to have you as quick as possible.” His fingertip is tracing the lines of Jinyoung's abs while his dark eyes are staring right into his soul.

Jinyoung doesn't answer. He just stares back and swallows down a lump in his throat. The corner of Mark's mouth comes up. He's subtly grinning at him before he leans in. Mark kisses Jinyoung's lips softly. It's slow and sweet and completely different from where they left off in the kitchen.

Mark pulls away but Jinyoung doesn't want him gone yet. He chases his mouth, and engages him in a new kiss, a more urgent one. Mark seems slightly taken aback at first but adjusts to the new pace quickly. Jinyoung licks Mark's bottom lip, asking for more without using words. The boy in question understands and opens up for him. When Jinyoung's tongue meets Mark's, a shiver runs through his body. This. Exactly this is what he needs, what his mind replayed the whole week, what he was subconsciously afraid of not getting ever again. But here they are and Jinyoung swears he'll make the most of it.

He shoves his hands roughly underneath Mark's muscle shirt to lift it up. For a second he detaches himself from his mouth to pull it over his head. Mark plays along wonderfully. The only thing Jinyoung regretted about their first night was that he had so little chances to touch Mark. He won't do the same mistake again.

Mark, the three-quarter god, looks downright divine. The delicious looking planes of his chest muscles, the sharp, strong shoulders, his subtly defined abs, the harsh angles of his hip bones, all adorned with this alluringly smooth skin. Jinyoung is so ready to ruin all this beauty in front of him. He doesn't want to wait any longer. He desperately reaches for every part of bare skin there is. Back, shoulders, chest, tonight everything belongs to him. Mark doesn't seem reluctant at all. He responds to his kisses with an overwhelming passion. His arms wrap around Jinyoung's waist to bring him closer.

Jinyoung hates the fact that they depend on air. Why can't they have gills like freaking fish? But like this, they have to take a little break to breathe. Jinyoung pants desperately but Mark is already busy with pressing kisses to Jinyoung's jaw and up to his ear. The latter tilts his head to give Mark better access, smiling silently at the feeling of his lips against his skin.

But like this he also has a good view of Mark's neck. His eyes are raking over the faint bruises painted on the pale skin. His tongue darts out to lick his upper lip before his teeth trap his bottom lip. He's so hungry for it again. He wants to destroy this piece of Mark even more, wants to leave a landscape of destruction.

“Your neck looks pretty,” he murmurs into his ear and Mark abandons licking his ear lobe to look at him.

“You're commenting on the battle field you left behind, I assume.”

“I won't say sorry.”

“That's fine. You don't need to. You're right, it really looks pretty. I never tried to hide it even once in this past week.”

Jinyoung isn't sure if it's his low voice, his intent eyes or the meaning of his words which arouses him so much. But something deep inside him catches fire and he knows he won't be able to stop it. He will burn with everything he has.

Jinyoung attacks the neck again without a warning. He kisses, licks, bites and sucks it without a break. He lifts one leg and wraps it around Mark. Like this he can press himself into him and still is able to pull him closer. He starts to draw little circles with his hips, building a steady rhythm.

Jinyoung first feels the vibration coming up Mark's throat under his lips before he hears the deep moan emerging. “God, Sugartoast. Are you rubbing yourself on me?” His voice is so raspy and breathy, the sound of it travels directly to Jinyoung's cock.

“Yeah. Problem?” he breathes against his neck.

“Not at all. Feel free to continue.” Mark grabs his ass and supports the rubbing. In a matter of minutes they are both mewling, wheezing messes.

“Okay,” Mark suddenly stops their make out session. “Too hard dicks in way too tight pants. We need to move on.”

Jinyoung eagerly nods his head and before he can even start anything himself, Mark already pulls his closes off him. In seconds he stands there in only his underwear and watches how Mark is wriggling out of his own jeans. He takes the opportunity to marvel at Mark's neck once more, which now looks even more disastrous than the first time.

At light speed Mark is back. He wraps one arm around his waist to pull him close. The other hand he has sneaked in between their bodies. While he begins to ravish Jinyoung's mouth, he's also busy to roughly palm his erection through the fabric of his tight boxer briefs. Immediately Jinyoung starts to get light-headed as all his blood is rushing down to gather under Mark's giving hand.

Jinyoung gasps into the kiss. He has to cling to Mark's shoulders to not simply buckle under the intensity of the sudden stimulation. The blond seems to feel how much Jinyoung is reacting to it and increases to pressure, the heel of his hand now doing most of the work.

“Fuck! Fuck Mark,” Jinyoung pants into his mouth.

“Hey Sugartoast, I don’t have condoms here. Either you’re sure you’re clean or we have to get creative,” Mark suddenly interrupts.

“Tested and clean,” Jinyoung wheezes.

“Good, same here.” Mark bends down to strip Jinyoung's last piece of clothing off him. His embarrassingly hard length springs out and Mark has to dodge it in order not to get slapped.

“Sorry,” Jinyoung mumbles.

“It's as feisty as you are today, Sugartoast. But you won't see me complaining.” Jinyoung snickers a bit at that but is quickly distracted when Mark suddenly stands in front of him, all naked and hard as well.

Mark doesn't really know shame, so much he had learned already. So Jinyoung doesn't hold back either and stares unconcealed at Mark's lower half. The blond steps closer again, takes Jinyoung's hand and guides his palm across his flat stomach, his lower abdomen and eventually he curls Jinyoung's fingers around his cock.

Mark's eyes flutter shut, his head slightly falls back and he groans enticingly. With his hand still wrapped around Jinyoung's, he guides it along his erection slowly. Jinyoung just lets him do it. His eyes are busy to take in the performance in front of him. How the pretty wildcat is coping with the pleasure which Jinyoung provides. It's so hot and so sensual. His quiet, low moans are making his own dick twitch. God, it's like watching porn but better because he is actually a part of it.

The sight is so arousing, Jinyoung can't fight off the urge to lean in and attach his lips to this beautiful Adam's apple which is displayed on a silver platter in front of him. He kisses it softly at first, then open-mouthed. Eventually he just greedily sucks it. It's so satisfying and even rewarding when the lewdest moan ever falls from Mark's lips. His dick throbs in Jinyoung's grip and he wants to make him come. He wants to keep being the reason for this pleasing sounds coming from him. So he decides to be proactive and shakes Mark's hand off. He grips his dick tighter, moves his fingers to the head and squeezes it, plays with it, rubs his thumb over his slit. Completely enamored, he watches Mark's chest rising and falling with every fast, harsh breath. He takes a mental picture of it and files it under 'miracle of nature'.

He could have watched for hours. He could have make Mark come so good in his hand. But instead Mark suddenly pushes him away.

“W-What-”

“Not yet,” Mark growls and pushes Jinyoung against his desk. Not a second later Jinyoung finds himself in a hard kiss and tight grip. He doesn't have any say in what Mark is doing to his mouth now. Jinyoung is fine with it. The passion Mark emits spreads to him and fans his inner flames even more.

Next thing he knows, Mark turns him around and bends him over the desk. The blond drapes himself over Jinyoung's body, his hard length pushing against his ass.

Jinyoung's cheek is pressed against the table surface. He tries to turn his head so that he can chance a glance at Mark's face. The latter simply growls into Jinyoung's ear while hot breath hits Jinyoung's jaw-line. “You're such a good boy to fuck. So lovely.”

A mix between a whine and a moan claws its way up Jinyoung's throat. A thankfulness for the new position embraces him, since he's pretty sure his legs would have given out at that statement.

Mark kisses down the back of his neck, gently and sweet. But he moves on and suddenly his sharp incisor scrapes the skin of Jinyoung's shoulder. He squirms under Mark but the blond holds him down firmly. A distinctive pain shoots through his shoulder as Mark sinks down his teeth into it.

“Aaah! Ou ou ou.”

“What did you say?” Mark rasps before he attacks again. Right, Jinyoung reminds himself, a biter. That's what Mark is and he proves it again. The latter runs his tongue over the bruise before he nips it again. The pain slowly turns into something weird, not quite pleasure but something thrilling and arousing.

Mark licks and nibbles down Jinyoung's spine, leaving a trail of fire dancing across his skin. Jinyoung shakes and shudders under him. He chants Mark's name under his breath. The blond's mouth lingers at the base of Jinyoung's spine, sucking a bruise into his tender skin. It's exciting and a bit scary at the same time since he once again has no idea about what Mark is planning to do next.

“Hey Sugartoast, still remember the safe word?” he murmurs against Jinyoung's lower back.

“Yeah, but why would I need the sa- OUCH!”

A harsh spank is delivered at his backside and it catches Jinyoung completely offguard. The thundering sound of it easily drowns out the noise of the party folks outside.

“YOU FUCKER WHAT THE FREAK- AAAH!”

Jinyoung interrupts himself to press a hiss through his clenched teeth after Mark's palm hailed down on his ass a second time.

“WHY DID YOU DO IT AGAIN?”

“Because 'fucker' is not the safe word so I can do what I want.” Jinyoung doesn't need to see his face to know that he's smiling. He hears it already. Still he turns his head to glare at him. The smile on his face is so attractive that he has trouble to keep up his scowl. He mumbles a few curses but is immediately distracted when two soft hands start to kneed his butt cheeks.

The tension evaporates from his body and he relaxes against the desk. Small moans are spilling from his lips.

“You like this, sugary boy? Yeah, you really enjoy when your pretty ass gets all the attention,” Mark breathes against his skin. Yes, Jinyoung likes it but he doesn't really want Mark to know that. He chooses not to answer anything. Though the main reason for not having any words is Mark and the way he moves on right now. All the relaxation left him again. His stomach flips over with a rebelling tingle. The nervousness engulfs him entirely, not knowing if he should anticipate the impossible.

Mark's lips travel lower along his body, trailing a slow line downward until they arrive at the round of his butt. And he still goes lower. Jinyoung's heart topples over. Mark is Mark and he obviously doesn't know the word impossible. Jinyoung's breath catches for a few seconds when Mark licks his hole after he spread his cheeks apart.

“W-W-What are you doing?” Jinyoung gasps meekly.

“I'm about to stick my tongue into your gorgeous ass.”

“I maybe.... feel uhm...err...thought so...” It's difficult to form sensible sentences when Mark is so close to his ass. And with the promise of what awaits Jinyoung, his thoughts are wildly tumbling upside down in his head.

“Then why are you asking?”

“I...uhm....”

“Can we talk later? I'm hungry.”

“Oh my god,” Jinyoung wheezes before Mark wraps his mouth around the twitching hole. He sucks it so incredibly hard and forces a choked moan from the defeated boy. Jinyoung clings firmly to the edges of the desk, hoping that this bit of steadiness will save him from going crazy.

Mark switches to quick kitten licks against his hole and all the way down to his balls. The mental image of a wildcat appears in Jinyoung's head once again. It's so fitting when it comes to Mark's whole demeanor. Especially his sensualism and graceful movements are getting to Jinyoung every time. When Mark decides to give his balls some more attention, Jinyoung almost gasps out his heart. Those soft lips and rough tongue against them is too much to take. A small sigh of relief makes it up his throat when Mark retreats from his balls. But he knows there is still so much that awaits him.

Too much heat everywhere. Why is it always like dancing in the fire when he's with Mark? His brain slowly locks up. Anticipation and desire roll over any other thought.

“Aaaahhhng!” Jinyoung throws his head back when Mark starts to ease his tongue inside him. “F-Fuck!” This is impossible. Jinyoung would love to see how this scene looks from the outside but on the other hand the notion alone makes his dick leak like a waterfall. He can feel Mark's tongue moving deep inside of him, licking, wiggling, stretching him out good. It's not the first time that someone has done this to him but somehow Mark's tongue hits different. All of Mark somehow hits different.

Jinyoung's moans are bouncing off the bedroom walls as he continues to flick his tongue inside his searing heat, plunging it as deep as he can. Mark starts to move his tongue in and out of him. Jinyoung shudders. He wants to push his ass back to get him in deeper but Mark still holds him by his butt cheeks and disables him from moving. Again he's entirely at Mark's mercy, helplessly waiting for him to do whatever he likes with him. Again Jinyoung doesn't hate it at all.

The blond withdraws his tongue and with a last, thorough lick over his puckering hole he's gone. Jinyoung quietly whines. Where is Mark? Why would he let go? Hopefully he wouldn't let him wait for much longer. But before Jinyoung can even gather the strength to turn his head to look for the other boy, he feels something cold against his entrance.

It's lube, he realizes. Lube and Mark's fingers. His pretty, long fingers are slipping inside with ease and starting to rub against his walls, stretching him even more. When a fingertip brushes against his pleasure spot, Jinyoung almost loses it.

“More. MORE! MARK!” he moan-yells while he tightens the grip on the desk. He tries to push his ass back another time but as soon as he does, Mark is leaving him again.

“No! Fucking no! Come back!” he furiously rants.

“I already am,” the deep voice rasps into his ear suddenly. Mark covers his entire body with his own again. A feeling of relief washes over Jinyoung. He's just glad that Mark didn't leave for much longer. The blond nibbles at his shoulder again, creating small sensations of pain, when Jinyoung feels the tip of Mark's cock rubbing against his entrance. He's teasing him. The tip of his dick pokes Jinyoung's clenching and unclenching hole without pushing in fully. This insolence!

“Will you get it on or just continue to be a damn bitch- FUCKNNNGG.” He can't stop the yelp coming up as Mark shoves his dick into him in one quick push until he's in balls deep.

“You were saying something, Sugartoast?” Jinyoung detects the teasing note his voice is laced with but with great satisfaction he also hears the unsteadiness of it. Knowing that Mark is not unaffected by him makes him happier than it's supposed to. Anyway, for now Jinyoung can't say anything. Yes, he wanted his cock but the size still something he has to get used to.

“Hold on a sec,” he whispers as he squeezes his eyes shut. It doesn't hurt nearly as much as last time. Rather he enjoys the feeling of being full. Mark inside and all over him, it feels gorgeous and he takes some extra time to appreciate it. To feel his dick throb inside of him arouses him even more. Jinyoung can only guess what will happen to him as soon as Mark starts moving but he looks forward to it. Mark gently rubs his palms over Jinyoung's hips. But the latter notices the ragged breathing coming from the boy above him and knows how difficult it must be to remain controlled. “Mark?”

“Hmm?”

Jinyoung turns his head to sneak a peek at the boy who is standing now upright behind him. His face looks so tense and focused and still he continues to massage Jinyoung's skin while he tries to not lose control. “Fuck me hard.”

For a second the blond looks confused but then the statement sinks in and Jinyoung is overwhelmed when Mark's blazing eyes meet his.

He stops fondling his hips and instead grips them tightly. Mark starts to fuck into him as if several lives would depend on it. Jinyoung chokes on a moan, the force and vehemence being a little too much to deal with all of the sudden.

But Mark feels so good in him, so right and perfect. He knows it's a mistake but he can't help himself when he demands the following, “Mark! Harder! Fuck! HARDER! HARDER!”

And Mark gives him harder. His fingers are digging into his hips, probably leaving bruises as he's holding him in place to slam into Jinyoung like an act of nature. The desk is scraping across the floor, not able to stay in place by the force of impact. Jinyoung knows he will end up bruised in the back and in the front but he doesn't care. He wants Mark more. More and more.

And then he hits his golden spot dead on, his tip not only brushing over it but digging into it brutally. A rough cry rips from Jinyoung's throat. For a moment he's afraid he's going blind as all the pleasure storms through his body in fierce shockwaves.

Mark knows what's going on and he keeps going, torturing Jinyoung's prostate with overstimulation. “Sugartoast, so good. You're so fucking sexy,” he groans sensually. Jinyoung can't respond like a human. All words left him already so he whimpers and moans under Mark like a wounded animal.

He tries to sneak a hand down to his dripping cock. He needs it and Mark is obviously too occupied with wrecking his ass to take care of it. But before he arrives at his destination, Mark slaps his hand away. “No!” he growls and it's such a commanding sound that it doesn't leave room for disobedience. Jinyoung swallows and goes back to clutch the edges of the desk while he squeezes his eyes shut and presses his cheek into the surface underneath him.

Mark's hips are crashing into him without a break. These sexy groans he's releasing are ruining Jinyoung's sanity even more. His dick is ramming into his golden spot again and again. Jinyoung doesn't think his body can take any more. His skin is on fire. His lower abdomen burns with pleasure. He feels his climax approaching. But before he's fully there, Mark comes inside him, hot and furiously. The word 'Sugartoast' falls from his lips accompanied by ecstatic moans.

The blond shudders and shakes all the way through his orgasm and it feels and sounds so very sexy but it's still not enough to carry Jinyoung the rest of the way. “M-Mark. Mark go on. Please go on,” he pleads with his most whiny voice. But Mark stopped working. He's not moving anymore. And after his high left him, he even pulls out completely.

Jinyoung is exasperated and hard and disappointed and hard and helpless and so very hard. “Mark,” he whimpers pathetically. “Mark, Mark, please. Mark, please don't let me suffer this time.”

Mark picks him up from the desk and turns him around, facing him. This dark eyes are on Jinyoung, smoldering. Jinyoung has to avoid them. He's too weak right now. His body hurts. His dick hurts. His mind is foggy and the crushing feeling of disappointment weighs him down. Mark takes his hands from Jinyoung's upper arms but he can't stand on his own and stumbles forward. Mark is catching him, holding him again, a hint of worry mixed into his lust filled eyes.

“But you liked it last time,” Mark rasps while he searches Jinyoung's face.

“B-But today I.... I just need you now. I need you. I can't handle it anymore. It kills me.” He's seriously surprised when he feels a tear rolling down his cheek, slow and thick and wet. He never would have expected to be that affected. But his body is telling him differently. He glances up at Mark. His eyes are fixed on the droplet, following it all the way down until it drips from Jinyoung's chin.

“Okay. Don't worry, Sugartoast, I will take you to paradise.” It's a promise. Mark means it, Jinyoung knows. So he feels the tiniest bit of relief chasing through him as Mark manhandles him to his bed. The cum is seeping out of Jinyoung and slowly runs down his thighs, but nobody cares. He lets Mark place him as he likes it. When he's done, Jinyoung is sitting on the bed with outstretched legs, his back leaning against the wall, his dick still erect and angry.

Now Mark is joining him on the bed. He beholds Jinyoung with wide, dark eyes. His tongue comes out and licks his pretty lips as he slowly crawls towards him, looking like the wildcat he naturally is. Jinyoung can't tear his eyes away. It's mesmerizing and he doesn't want to miss a second.

Jinyoung hopes for Mark's mouths on his cock. It felt so breathtaking last time. He want to enjoy it another time.

Sometimes life is so funny though. You get disappointed so many times. But sometimes, in the most surprising moments, your bravest expectations will be exceeded. That's what Jinyoung thinks when he watches Mark squeezing lube into his palm.

A second later he starts to spread this unholy amount of it all over Jinyoung's cock. He moans at the feeling. Even though it's cold, Mark's hand on him accompanied by his hungry eyes stir up the fire inside him even more. Jinyoung still feels so woozy but the notion of what Mark's actions mean makes his dick twitch in his hand.

He tilts his head to the side and looks up at Mark with half-lidded and unfocused eyes. “Is this what I think it is?” he chokes out.

“I promised you paradise.” With this Mark swings one leg over him, bracketing his thighs. His hand grips the base of his shaft and slowly Mark sinks down on him.

When his tip makes it past Mark's rim Jinyoung is already on the verge of passing out. His head lolls back against the wall, his eyes rolling back in his head, his soul is descending into heaven. Never in his entire life his cock was trapped in something so tight. In the back of his mind the thought plays that Mark must be suffering right now, at least if he didn't magically find the time to stretch himself while Jinyoung was in his whiny, confused state. He opens his eyes for a second to watch Mark's strained face. Yes, it looks like pain. Jinyoung goes back to blindly enjoy his squelching heat.

He wants more though. He wants to thrust into him but he hasn't any energy left after Mark fucked him to physical exhaustion already. But now he feels Mark moving. The blond lifts himself up and drops down into Jinyoung's lap again. The latter releases a string of incoherent curses, topped off with sinful moans which shoot up straightaway from the core of lust inside of him.

A demanding hand grasps a fistful of his hair and pulls his head forward. “Watch me!” This deep voice, the growl in it, the commanding tone, everything makes Jinyoung choke on air as he opens his eyes wide to look into Mark's glowing ones. They burn into him like a damn jet of fire. Jinyoung can only nod as Mark continues to ride him. He keeps his hand fisted in his hair to make sure Jinyoung stays with him. And there's nothing Jinyoung rather wants to see than this astounding, seductive human fucking himself on his cock.

He knows Mark just does it for him. Mark isn't even hard, probably due to the pain. Still he manages to wreck Jinyoung completely. His hot walls are squeezing Jinyoung so good. He wants to cry again but is too distracted with the fire in his veins and the pleasure building in his stomach. Mark, this divine god of satisfaction, is towering over him. His eyes glaring down at Jinyoung's pathetic existence. He holds so much power over Jinyoung. He decides if Jinyoung ends up in bliss or disappointment. He silently prays that Mark won't change his mind and deems him unworthy of coming inside him. To come inside a god. What a thrilling experience. His heart almost gives up on beating. It's overused.

He wishes this could go on forever. But he was already so hard when he entered Mark, it's a miracle he could hold himself back for so long. He is riding the edge, clinging to the brink, not wanting to fall yet. But when Mark clenches down on him exceptionally hard, he can't fight it off any longer. He's falling, fast and loud. He comes uncontrollably, his body quaking and trembling with bliss.

“MARK! AAAAAAHHH! AAAHH!” He screams and whines and struggles as he shivers through his climax. His head falls forwards, landing against Mark's shoulder. He's breathing him in as he sobs into his smooth skin. Mark wraps his arms around his back, pulling his body closer to him while one palm rubs soothing circles into his lower back.

Once he starts to come down from his high, he feels it again. This incredible lightness. This utter lack of concerns. He feels like a feather, like walking on clouds, completely dazed, sedated even. If Mark wouldn’t sit on him, his body would just float away.

“Are you okay?” His voice is quiet and gentle now. He's a bit worried, Jinyoung thinks. He must think Jinyoung lost his mind with how out of it he is.

He lifts his head, noticing that one hand is back in his hair. But this time it's not a rough grip but a gentle stroke through his sweaty strands. “Yeah,” he croaks. His voice took some damage with all the screaming he did today. “A-Are you okay? I mean... I uhm.... you weren't stretched and-”

“I'm fine. I wouldn't have done it otherwise. Don't worry. I will get up now.”

Jinyoung doesn't want him to get up. He likes it that way, still being inside him, his hands still soothing him, giving him warmth and care. But it's not like he could say that. So Mark takes his hands off him and lifts himself up from his lap. Jinyoung hisses as his sensitive cock is dragged along Mark's walls a last time.

“Mark, I can't move my body. It's broken,” Jinyoung whines when he tries to get up but fails.

“It's not broken, silly. I just went a bit hard on you-”

“It was good,” Jinyoung interrupts quickly. And Mark laughs. He looks gorgeous, naked and laughing.

“Good then. Just lay down.” Mark pulls out the blanket from under him so Jinyoung can just plop down.

“Thanks,” he mumbles while he rolls on his side to stare up at the wildcat with this gentle expression on its face.

Mark grabs a random cloth to wipe some of Jinyoung's cum off his inner thighs before he sits down on the bed. He reaches over to tenderly push Jinyoung's bangs away from his face. Jinyoung closes his eyes but smiles.

“Mark?”

“Hmmm?” Mark hums as he continues to run his fingers through his hair.

“You think those.... _couples _you kicked out of your room earlier....”

“Yeah?”

“You think they would have had sex here..... like in front of each other?”

“Interesting things you think about,” Mark chuckles, high-pitched and cute. “Why? Does that turn you on, Sugartoast? Having sex in front of an audience?”

“Shut up.” Jinyoung sends a mini glare and a pout up to him.

Mark laughs again. “No honestly. I just have to know about it and we can arrange-”

“Shut up! I'm tired.” With this Jinyoung turns around to face the wall.

“Fine,” Mark still giggles quietly. “Go to sleep, Sugartoast. You deserve it.” Jinyoung feels how Mark gets into the bed. Just like the first time he rolls himself against Jinyoung's back and pulls the blanket over both of them.

“Hey Mark? What about the party?”

“They don't need me out there. They know how to party just fine. Sleep tight, Sugartoast.” Mark's breath hits the nape of Jinyoung's neck, warm and gentle.

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

“Hey, Sugartoast. Wake up.”

“Huh?”

“Wake up, okay?” Jinyoung opens his eyes and spots Mark. It's nice to see such a good-looking human first thing in the morning.

“Hey.” Jinyoung smiles up at him. And a lovely smile is Mark's response.

“Hey Sugartoast, slept well?”

“Yeah,” Jinyoung whispers and stretches his arms.

“Good, it looked like it. Get your clothes on, okay?” Mark puts the pile of his clothing on the bed next to him. Jinyoung is a little confused by the sudden request but complies and starts to dress himself. His whole body hurts like a bitch. But it was worth it.

“You're up early,” he says as he watches the fully dressed boy who is busy to remove the last remnants of the party.

“Yeah, my best friend comes over in a few. That's why I have woken you up.”

“Huh? You have woken me up because you expect a visitor?”

“Yeah, so you could leave before he arrives,” Mark explains simply.

“Very charming,” Jinyoung huffs as he pulls his t-shirt over his head.

“What?” Mark looks confused. Jinyoung doesn't care.

“The way you’re kicking me out.”

“But I promised to meet him. What should I do? Wait.... are you mad?”

“No! I'm not!” Jinyoung snaps. Of course he's mad. “You know what? It’s fine. I have things to do anyway. I’m a busy guy.” It's Sunday morning. He doesn't have shit to do. But he won't say that. And with this he grabs his phone and storms out of the apartment without giving Mark a chance to say another word.

Jinyoung doesn’t really know why he reacts like that. Maybe because some little piece deep inside of him wished for Mark to ask him if he wanted to stay. For breakfast. For meeting his friend. For becoming a slightly bigger existence in his life than just the sex boy. But why would Mark want that and why would Jinyoung even wish for it? He's fine with being the sex boy. They aren’t friends and they much less are in a relationship. There are no obligations. Still it would have been nice, Jinyoung thinks as he starts to fly down the stairs.

But he doesn't get far. A boy who comes up the narrow stairway blocks his way. Jinyoung immediately notices the black t-shirt with the word 'WANG' in bold lettering printed on it. For the longest time, he thought Jackson had those clothes custom-made for himself but now he realizes that it must be some kind of brand.

What he notices next is that he's scowling at him. Jinyoung doesn't know why and he doesn't feel like finding out. But the guy apparently has other plans.

“You're Jinyoung.” It's not a question. It's a statement. A confusing one at that.

“How do you know?”

“I saw you and Mark disappearing into his room last night.” The scowl doesn't leave his face. The confusion doesn't leave Jinyoung's mind. Because that didn't answer this question at all. Also he might have seen him last night but Jinyoung can't remember this guy's face. So whatever.

“So what?” Jinyoung says, trying to sound indifferent.

“Back off.”

“Excuse me?”

“Back off. Leave Mark alone.”

Jinyoung was pissed before but this tops it off. “And who are _you_ to make such a request?”

“His best friend,” he hisses.

“So, his best friend, it's not like we would marry some time soon so don't wet your pants about it.”

“Shut the fuck up. You clearly have no idea what you're saying and you also very clearly don't know the first thing about Mark. So get the fuck out of here and don't come back.”

“Just for your information, I'm not interested in coming back actually. I am backing off right now and it has not the slightest thing to do with you. So stay out of my business,” he bitches back.

“Get lost!”

“Get run over by a car!”

“Fuck you!”

Jinyoung is just about to flip him off when he hears Mark's voice behind him.

“Jae-Jae? What are you doing there? Come in.”

Jinyoung turns around and sees how Mark stands in the doorway to his apartment, looking down at them with obvious confusion on his face.

“I was about to,” the boy says with a sudden cheery voice and a huge smile stretching across his face. Like this he actually looks friendly. But where is the glaring little shit from just a second ago? Nowhere to be found it seems. Jae-Jae or whatever is bouncing up the remaining steps, hugs Mark exuberantly and disappears into his apartment.

Jinyoung watches everything with narrowed eyes. After this two-faced bastard is out of the way, Mark looks back at Jinyoung. His expression seems to be a mix of confusion and... what could that be? Maybe wistfulness? He lifts his hand and waves at Jinyoung. It's tiny and hesitantly. “Bye bye, Jinyoung.” Stupid soft voice, Jinyoung thinks.

He huffs and turns around to run down the steps. How dare he call him Jinyoung?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of self-promotion here: I wrote a story for the latest markjin fic fest. In case you didn't see it yet and want to read it, here it is: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20314438
> 
> Also we have the second chapter here and it's kind of long. Longer than I expected at least. ^^ Soooo...any opinions? Likes? Dislikes?


	3. Three

Jinyoung took a shower after he came back from Mark's apartment. He's still fuming. He's so mad that he has to distract himself. So he knocks on the door of Jackson's dorm room. The door swings open and a beaming Jackson greets him.

“You look grumpy,” Jackson points out as soon as he beholds Jinyoung's face.

“And you look happy. Why?”

“Okay, first of all, sorry.”

“Huh?” Jinyoung comments eloquently while he follows Jackson inside. They plop down on the soft carpet, their backs leaning against Jackson's bed.

“I didn't plan to ditch you yesterday. Really not. But you probably ask yourself where I have been at the party.” Honestly, since Mark appeared in front of him that evening, Jinyoung didn't ask himself that even once. Not even after the party. Not until this moment. “And I want to tell you that I really had a good reason to disappear. I met this guy at the party. It's not the first time, to be honest. He's one of Mark's friends and I met him briefly a couple of times before. But yesterday, wow, there was this tension between us. There was electricity. Sparks, Jinyoung. Real sparks.” Probably not sparks as bright and excessive as between him and Mark, Jinyoung simply thinks. But instead of voicing that, he just hums in acknowledgment. “So we flirted like nobody ever flirted before. And in the end I took him home.”

“You took him home? What does that even mean?”

“We sat down together and had a fancy cup of tea while we played a thrilling game of Monopoly, Jinyoung.”

“No need to be bitchy. I just wanted to understand if you were walking him home, being a gentleman, or if you fucked.”

“We fucked.”

“Now it's pretty clear.”

“So as you can imagine-”

“I don't want to imagine anything.”

“Shhhh, Jinyoung! Let me talk. So as you can _assume_, I had a good night. Truly good. So please accept my apologies and stop being mad at me.”

“I'm not mad at you.”

“Oh..... and why are you so grumpy?”

“It's nothing much. Do you want to do something? Want to go out or anything?” Jinyoung doesn't want to fight with Jackson about Mark. He doesn't even want to talk about Mark. He just wants distraction.

“You know Sailor Moon, right?”

“This anime supergirl with the ridiculous hair?”

“Anime hair is ridiculous in general.”

“Yeah.”

“But everyone wants it anyway. I want anime hair.”

“Yeah, me too. Huh,” Jinyoung sighs.

“At least you have anime eyes.”

“I don't?” What is it with people and his eyes nowadays? What is going on?

“So Sailor Moon, she always has those glistening big eyes when she's excited and wants to share her excitement. It's like stars in her eyes. You have those eyes. There is something you try to not tell me but the stars in your eyes say you want to. Do it, Jinyoung.”

What the heck? What is it with this silly anime-eyes-remark lately?

“Jinyoung, I'm waiting.”

So whatever, he can speak about it like a man. He's not embarrassed about it. He just wants to avoid Jackson making a fuss but maybe he will take it calmly today. “I had sex with Mark last night.”

“WHAAAAAT?” The screech is unbearable for the human ear. Also a second later Jinyoung is harshly shoved and topples over on the side. Luckily he's already sitting on the floor so the fall is not really a fall. Though his hope for Jackson to take it calmly crumbles to dust and gets blown away by the wind of reality. “I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT! YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T DO IT AGAIN!”

“I said 'probably not',” Jinyoung points out while he pulls himself back up into a sitting position. Though when he spots Jackson's shocked expression on his face he feels like lying down again.

“I was counting on this 'not' way more than on the 'probably' part, Jinyoung. I told you that this is not going to do you any good, right?”

“But it kind of did? The sex was amazing. It was like an elemental force, Jackson. It was _that_ good.”

“And if it was _that_ good, tell me why you're all grumpy now?”

“Uuuuuuuhhh....”

“Come on, Jinyoung. What did he do?”

Jackson's pensive gaze weighs heavy on him. It is useless to try lying about it anyway, Jinyoung decides. Jackson is here listening to him so he can as well share his woes with his friend without holding back. “I just don't understand him, Jackson. He's fucking me so good. Like _so good_. Like he really cares. He even goes the extra mile to satisfy me. But then he kicks me out as if I'm nothing to him. I don't know what's up with him,” Jinyoung starts complaining, unintentionally using his most whiny voice.

“There, there,” Jackson says while he wraps his arm around Jinyoung's shoulder to pull him close. “Don't take it so personally, Jinyoungie.”

Okay, Jinyoung realizes, maybe he wants to talk about Mark. A lot. Now that the cat is out of the bag, he can as well discuss everything with Jackson.

“But I can't help it. How can I not take it personally? And his friend, I met his friend this morning when I left, he fucking hates me. I swear he hates me.”

“What did you do to him?”

“I breathed.”

“Maybe he instantly fell in love with you, like Alex,” Jackson cackles. Jinyoung can feel the vibrations in Jackson's chest.

“I highly doubt that,” the dejected boy sighs. “I have developed this theory that he's maybe either sleeping with Mark or is at least crushing on him. So he hates everyone who comes near him.”

“You think Mark may fuck somebody else beside you?” Jinyoung turns his head to take a good look at Jackson's surprised expression.

“_You_ told me he's a fuckboy so yeah, I guess the possibility exists.”

“YES! Uhm... yes, of course, he is. He absolutely is. Might fuck around with a half dozen of other guys. Who knows exactly, huh?!”

Why is Jackson so flustered anyway?

“Jackson..... is there something more to tell about Mark's fuckboyary?”

“Of course not. It is what it is. Which friend were you talking about though? I might know him.”

Something is obviously off with this whole fuckboy story. Jackson apparently has some reason to try and convince him about it but he's also reluctant to dive deeper into the subject. Jinyoung makes a mental note, promising himself that he will try to get some information out of him later.

“Jae-Jae or something.”

“No, never heard of him. But yeah, Mark might fuck him.... like all the others he fucks.”

“Yeah, I got it, okay? He fucks around and I'm not anyone special to him and I should stay away from him blah blah blah,” Jinyoung suddenly snaps before he rubs his palms over his face. He's tired.

“Jinyoungie, I didn't mean to make you feel bad or anything. I just want you to keep the truth in mind. I don't want to see you heartbroken, okay? And just because you're not special in his eyes, it doesn't mean that you're not special for others. So he doesn't know quality. Bad for him. But so many people appreciate you and wouldn't exchange you for anything in the world. Take me for instance..... or Alex.”

Jinyoung is grateful for Jackson's attempt to cheer him up. His words actually make him feel warm and a little less miserable. That was until he mentioned his roommate.

“Jackson, Alex has nothing to do with this.”

“I'm just saying that he would appreciate you like you deserve it.” The wide, close-lipped smile that makes wrinkles like gashes in his cheeks is adorable on Jackson. Jinyoung has to admit it. So he mutters a “yeah yeah” under his breath and pouts for a bit.

“Cute.” Jackson nuzzles Jinyoung's hair and it tickles and Jinyoung can't help laughing now. That is until he remembers a thought he had on his way back from Mark's apartment.

“Hey Jackson....uhm...you slept with Mark-”

“I know. I was the one telling you. Stop bringing it up,” he snaps while he pulls away from Jinyoung to scowl at him.

“Uhm.... I thought about this only today. Maybe I acted rather insensitive yesterday before the party.”

“What the heck are you even talking about? We were just talking about Alex.”

“No! _You_ were talking about Alex all by yourself. And now _I_ talk about you and Mark. I was thinking.... did you have any feelings for him back then?”

“Feelin-...WHAT?” A whole new level of outrage is showcased on Jackson's face.

“Is it so weird to ask that?”

“Yes. We're friends. We're damn bros, Jinyoung.”

“You took his dick.”

“It was _one_ time. _One_ time and it was _long_ ago. Stop bringing it up. Hell Jinyoung, I don't have feelings for him and never had.”

“So you wouldn't hate me if Mark and I-”

“There is no 'Mark and I' for you. I told you to stay away from him.”

“He didn't have condoms though.”

“Excuse me?”

“Mark. He was out of condoms last night.”

“I never wanted to know that. And I also don't know how your mind works. Is everything okay in there?” Jackson asks and gently knocks on Jinyoung's head.

“It was just a thought but....you see, if I know one thing about fuckboys it's that they always have an overwhelming supply of condoms. Apart from the dumb lowlives who don't care about diseases.”

“Maybe he is one of-”

“No, he's obviously too smart for that. You know it,” Jinyoung immediately denies. “So why is this?”

“I have not the slightest idea. Why are you asking me and not him?” Jackson sighs, seeming a little defeated by now. Jinyoung thinks that Jackson probably regrets to ever have noticed his anime eyes.

“Uuuuuhm... every time we meet each other we have sex after..... like two minutes of staring at each other and afterwards we are too exhausted to talk and then he will do something odd which confuses me and one of us leaves,” Jinyoung explains matter-of-factly.

“You have no idea how stupid that sounds.”

“I think I have a pretty good idea,” Jinyoung mumbles. “But I just can't help it.”

“So let's talk about something else. How are you doing with your essay about this.... book.... thingy?”

“I talked with one of Mark's friends at the party and he said something about Mark finally returning to society. What does it mean?”

Jackson heaves a deep sigh while his head is hanging low. “I was asking you something completely different.”

“But I want to know,” Jinyoung urges. “You know Mark for a while, right? So you must know.”

“Uuuuuuhm....” Jackson hesitates and he avoids Jinyoung's gaze. Not a good sign.

“Oh my god, was he in prison?”

Jackson's head jerks back up. He now looks at Jinyoung in disbelief. “Of course he wasn't in prison. As if I would introduce you to an ex-con.”

“Then what is it about?”

“You really should ask Mark.”

“But I'm asking _you_.”

“But it's rather personal so I think you should hear it from him. It's not my story to tell so....” He doesn't finish the sentence. Instead he counts on Jinyoung's understanding. The latter hesitantly nods, thinking that this whole mystery surrounding Mark is getting weirder by the day.

“Why are we talking so much about Mark, anyway?!” Jackson pipes up with new found enthusiasm. “Let's not talk about him anymore.”

“But I have to think about the events and it's easier when I speak my mind.”

“Because you're a pondering mess.”

“That might be true but as I said, it's easier when I can phrase those thoughts.”

“But I don't want your Mark thoughts. Think about something different.”

“Jackson, you are my friend. Shouldn't you support me or something?”

“Yes, I'm all for supporting you but not when it's about getting your heart broken. I won't support that.”

“I told you, it's not that-” Jinyoung interrupts himself as the door swings open and Alex walks in. As soon as his eyes are finding Jackson and Jinyoung on the floor he stops for a moment. His bag slips from his hand and drops to the ground with a thud.

“Hey Alex. Had a good time with your sister?”

The addressed boy regains his composure and picks up his bag before he sets it down next to his bed again. While he takes a seat and shrugs his jacket off, he glances at both boys repeatedly.

“You mean if I had a good time with my sister after you kicked me out of our shared room to spend the whole night fucking some guy?” he grumbles and it's almost cute.

“Yeah, that's what I mean. Did you have fun?” Jackson asks excitedly, not reacting to the accusations at all.

A short grunt makes it out of his roommate's mouth before he speaks again, less snappy now. “It was fine. Though I would appreciate it, if you wouldn't turn our room into some hoes-meeting-spot.”

“I try,” Jackson promises with a naive smile on his lips. Alex sighs.

“You could have used my room last night. It was vacant anyway,” Jinyoung suggests to the defeated looking boy.

“Where have you been?” Alex's eyes are on him at the speed of light, wide and shiny. “I mean.... I don't care where you have been. Whatever.” He shakes his head and looks away. His lips protrude to form a small pout.

“He met his friend at the party,” Jackson starts to explain, his words coming out unnaturally fast. “His best friend. Yes. And they decided to have a sleepover at his house and this morning his mom made breakfast for them. Yes, it was like this. And yes, they are cute best friends.”

Both boys look at the flustered Jackson with skepticism.

“Uh-huh,” Alex brings out slowly.

“Wasn't breakfast awesome, Jinyoung? You just told me, right?” Jinyoung can't believe it. Jackson feels the need to lie on his behalf, while not even Jinyoung himself feels the need to lie about his whereabouts. He just stares at Jackson with a raised eyebrow. “That's his breakfast-was-awesome face,” Jackson explains to his roommate.

“Yeah, okay. Fine. I don't care,” Alex huffs, probably fed up with Jackson already. He plops down on his bed and starts to massage his temples.

“Hey Alex, should we leave? You look tired and we always could move to Jinyoung's room?”

Now this is so weird. They're hanging out so much in Jackson's room, no matter if Alex is present or not. And not even once before Jackson made such a suggestion.

“No! No, it's fine. You can stay. I don't care.”

“Naaaaaah,” Jackson disagrees. It sounds fake. “We better leave you alone. Come on, Jinyoungie.”

“I said it's fine!”

But Jackson already pulls Jinyoung up by his arm. Even before Jinyoung acquired solid footing, Jackson subtly pushes him towards his roommate. Jinyoung stumbles and lands face first right on top of Alex.

It all happened a bit too fast for Jinyoung's confused mind to catch up on immediately. But slowly some realization sneaks into his head. His face is greeted by a soft pillow. But the left side of it is warm, and then it hits him that this must be the side of his face which is pressed against Alex's cheek. Their chests are touching all the way. He feels the boy breathing under him and there is something else, a wild flutter of a heart in Alex's chest. Jinyoung's legs are somehow entangled with the legs of the bed owner but he can't yet process how exactly. He's too distracted when suddenly two arms sneak around his waist to hold him steady.

He silently curses Jackson for this cheap trick. But he also manages to lift his head up a little. Two big brown eyes are staring up at him. They're too close. It flusters Jinyoung a bit but he's also intrigued by this boy's beautiful features. These eyes are stunning, soft and warm. His skin looks flawless, it almost seems to glow. And when Jinyoung's eyes entirely involuntarily stray to his pretty Cupid's bow, he knows it's time to get away.

He props himself up in a hurry but there are still arms tightly wrapped around him. Alex continues to stare up at him as if he's in a daze.

“Uhm.... Alex? Could you maybe let go of me?” he mumbles while he's trying to avoid his gaze.

“Fuck, leave me alone,” Alex suddenly snaps, obviously pulled out of his trance by Jinyoung's request. He harshly pushes Jinyoung off himself. The latter didn't see it coming and plunges to the floor without being able to hold on to something. Unfortunately he lands straight on the shoulder which Mark had thoroughly ruined the prior night.

“AAAAHHH! Fuck fuck fuck!” He rolls to his side and holds his shoulder as if it would make the pain go away.

“Fuck, Jinyoung I'm sorry,” he hears Alex's panicked voice behind him. “I'm sorry, I didn't want to hurt you. I was just so surprised.” Jackson already kneels in front of Jinyoung but from the back he now feels the searching hands of Alex. They are mindlessly running over the arm which belongs to the suffering shoulder, obviously not knowing how to help.

“Ah..uhm... no, it's fine,” Jinyoung tries to calm everyone down. “You just caught me off-guard and the landing was kind of unfortunate.” Jinyoung sits up, his palm still resting on his shoulder.

“Let me have a look,” Alex requests and already tries to tug on the neckline of his sweater but Jinyoung is quick to shake him off. Under no circumstances he will show him the disaster which is his shoulder today.

“No need. Really, I'm okay in a bit. Don't worry.” But when he spots Alex's sorrowful expression it's clear that he worries a lot. “Hey, I mean it,” Jinyoung snickers and stretches his hand out to playfully tousle his hair. “Don't worry, okay?”

“H-Hey,” Alex comments meekly when his mind catches up with Jinyoung's actions. But it sounds not like a complaint at all and the shade of pink on his cheeks makes him look truly adorable. Jinyoung brightly smiles at him before he gets to his feet.

“I think Jackson is right though. We really should give you a bit of privacy, especially since he kicked you out of the room for the night,” Jinyoung states as he pulls Jackson towards the door.

“But you really don't have to,” Alex says, still in his tiny voice and still kneeling on the floor while he looks up at Jinyoung with puppy eyes and a pout. He looks cute, Jinyoung has to admit it.

“It's alright. See you around, Alex.” With this he pulls Jackson out of the room. Just before he closes the door, he hears a soft “See you”.

“Oh! My! God!” Jackson fusses as they make their way towards Jinyoung's dorm room. “Jinyoung, did you see this? Two more seconds and he would have lost control. Two more seconds and he would have kissed you. YAY! YAS YAS YAS!” Now he literally cheers. Jinyoung thinks it's a little exaggerated considering the events. In the end nothing really happened except that now his shoulder is hurting. Okay, Alex was for the first time a bit nice to him. But what about it? It's no confession or anything close to that.

“No, I didn't see it.”

“Jinyoung!”

“What?”

“Drop the act. He's in love with you and you saw it just now,” Jackson points out, his voice a mix of disappointment and slight anger.

“Yeah, maybe.” He tries to handle the situation with nonchalance.

“Jinyoung, come ooooooooon. He was cute, wasn't he? He was worried about you.”

“He was the one pushing me down so yeah, nice of him to worry.”

“You know what I mean. If he really hated you, which we already know isn't the case, he wouldn't have acted like that. He likes you sooooo much, Jinyoungie.” Jackson now clings to his arm, flaunting his own puppy eyes.

“I know, okay? I know.”

“I watched this whole scene, you know? From the point of view of the audience, I can say that you were affected, too. I saw it.” He playfully elbows his side.

“It was just an unusual situation. And you shoved me, Jackson Wang. You risked my physical health just to pull this cheap trick. I could have seriously injured myself.”

“Eeeeehhhh, noooo. It's not like I pushed you into a lion's den or something.”

A lion's den. Mark. Mark whispering into his ear, commenting on his braveness to venture into the lion's den. Mark's hot breath. Mark's fiery eyes. Mark's firm grip.

“So don't be dramatic, Jinyoung, okay?”

Jinyoung groans. The flood of Mark-themed memories distracted him instantly and he has no motivation to talk about the Alex-incident any longer. “Whatever Jackson. He still didn't confess to me. Just because he wasn't such a jerk today, doesn't mean I lower my standards. Either he gets over this behavior or I won't ever consider starting anything with him.”

“He will get there. Believe me. After today, I have trust in him.” Jackson showcases his wide smile and throws an arm around him. Unfortunately he brushes against his bad shoulder in the process.

“Ouch!”

“Oh sorry. Your shoulder is really injured? From the fall?”

“No, Mark left some serious bite wounds there.”

“Holy shit, he got even freakier in bed,” Jackson whispers and gawks at him.

Jinyoung simply shrugs and opens the door to his room.

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

Finally it's weekend. Jinyoung needed this so bad. The entire week was defined by stressful assignments, demanding professors and so many thoughts. Jinyoung couldn't escape his pondering mind even once. His courses, his academic performance, Mark, all of this kept his mind running. On top of this came another difficult phone call with his parents. Talking to them in general was easy. But talking to them in regards of his love life was always torture. They never spare him though. This topic always comes up, one way or the other. He tries to keep it as vague as possible but they won't let a call go by without adding their two cents worth to the subject. It was exhausting.

But now Jinyoung is in the Lighthouse with Jackson. He's already tipsy. This is good. He lost Jackson after approximately half an hour. This was annoying at first but now he doesn't care anymore. Now, after this guy bought him a drink. Now that he's dancing freely with this guy and finally can release some tension. Now that this said guy starts to move in closer, touching him more and glancing at his lips repeatedly.

And now Jinyoung gets impatient. Why is he so slow? He didn't come here to wait. He came here to find some entertainment, and staring and waiting is not entertaining when it's not Mark. NO! He didn't think that. He's not here to think about Mark. Mark must disappear from his mind. So Jinyoung decides to take up the reins and leans in to connect their lips.

The guy is a bit surprised it seems. But his involvement soon confirms that it was a pleasant surprise. His hands are coming up, roaming all over Jinyoung's backside while he pokes Jinyoung's lips with his pointy tongue. This feels weird, his tongue shouldn't act so aimless. It's not smooth but it's also not rough enough to be considered wild and hot. Not like Mark would do it. NO! Who cares what Mark would do?! Jinyoung opens his mouth and tries to focus on the guy in front of him and his kisses.

But soon stray thoughts start to seep into Jinyoung's mind. He really needs to finish this one poem analysis soon. He evaded working on this thing long enough but his time is running out. God, he hates poetry. When will his suffering end?! Or when will he at least find the tiniest approach to it?!

He snaps back to attention when a torrent of saliva invades his mouth. He is reminded that he's in a middle of a make out session in the most unpleasant way. This is disgusting. Why is this guy kissing so wetly? He's on the verge of being soaked in spit, or at least it feels like it. It takes all of Jinyoung's willpower to not pull away and scowl at this human fountain.

Not even his tipsiness can distract him from the fact that this kissing style is absolutely not his preferred kissing style. Though Jinyoung tries to stay positive. This guy's kisses aren't bad per se. They are maybe just a little dull and obviously too wet. Jinyoung tries to convince himself that these kisses don't only seem less-than-ideal because they aren't Mark's. Of course Mark is gifted with a talent for kissing. His lips are made for it and all other kinds of erotic activities. It's a bit unfair to compare this poor guy with somebody as naturally blessed as Mark. And a second later Jinyoung feels bad for pitying this guy in front of him. He probably doesn't deserve this. So he lets him continue to flood his mouth.

He knows he soon needs another drink, a strong one, to endure this longer. Jinyoung opens his eyes. His head is tilted anyway so he peers over the guy's shoulder to focus on the bar and search for Yugyeom. Maybe he can send him his drink order via telepathy. He knows the chance is slim but since he hasn't anything else to do right now, he would try.

But instead of Yugyeom, his eyes are catching sight of another familiar figure which lets his whole body tingle. Is he deluded now or does he really see Mark standing there, like 10 meters away from him, kissing some guy?! It reminds Jinyoung terribly much of his party. It was the same view which he saw as he entered Mark's apartment. Fuck, he's not that drunk and hopefully not that pathetic to make that shit up. It must be Mark.

He keeps staring at the couple while the guy attached to himself still tries to deliver good kisses to him. But he simply can't tear his eyes away from Mark. A weird energy burns down his throat upon taking in that sight. It shouldn't happen like this. He shouldn't meet Mark again in this kind of situation. Not again. He shouldn't meet Mark again at all, the sensible part of the brain tells him. But the other wacky and wild and fascinated part just complains that Mark is kissing another guy again. And this is silly and hypocritical because Jinyoung is doing just the same.

And then it happens, the same thing that happened at the party last weekend. Mark opens his eyes and their gazes meet instinctively, eyes locking while they are surrounded by chaos. But the difference is that this time Mark pulls away from the kiss to flash Jinyoung a bright and perfect smile over his guy's shoulder.

The smile hits him like a shockwave. Jinyoung feels his heart rate picking up and his knees buckle under his weight. He needs to get away, out of this situation, away from this waterspout attached to his mouth and away from this dazzling boy over there. He needs a break. Now.

So he gently pushes the guy away and excuses himself. He needs to make trip to the restroom, he tells him. The guy is a bit confused at the sudden interruption of what he probably thinks was a nice kissing session. But he nods anyway and Jinyoung turns around to run.

The first thing he does when he enters the surprisingly empty restroom, is rinsing his mouth. It's a natural reflex after this guy caused havoc in there. And then he really walks over to the row of urinals. He's just about to unbutton his pants when the door swings open and a smirking Mark Tuan walks in.

Jinyoung gawks at him with huge eyes for just two seconds before he turns his head to stare at the wall in front of him. He acts as if he would be unbothered and continues what he came here for.

“Sugartoast!” Mark exclaims. The smile is audible in his voice. Jinyoung doesn't need to look at him. Though he feels how Mark is approaching him and eventually positions himself right beside Jinyoung to mimic his actions. “Looking good today as well,” he murmurs into Jinyoung's ear with his too deep voice. Jinyoung's head whips around to look at him but he only spots Mark looking down at his cock, Jinyoung's cock.

“Well thank you. Guess my dick didn't need a makeover after last weekend,” he grumbles while he looks at the wall again.

“You're so snappy, Sugartoast,” Mark points out, voice sounding astonished.

Jinyoung just huffs at him without even so much as glancing over.

There is silence when they relieve themselves. Only when Jinyoung zips up his jeans and moves over to the sinks, he murmurs, “So you brought your babe with you?”

“Pfft! I didn’t bring anything. Just found him here,” Mark states, voice amused while he follows Jinyoung to the sinks to wash his hands right next to him.

There is silence again for a few moments. Only the sound of running water fills the room.

Mark grabs some paper towels and shares them with Jinyoung. The latter gives him a nod as a small thank you. “What about you?” Mark asks, the tone of his voice more cautious now.

Jinyoung knows Mark is looking at him. By now he feels his intense stare like a touch on his skin. “Same,” he mumbles and pouts a bit while he throws the used towels into the trash bin.

“Mine really sucks at kissing,” Mark suddenly chuckles and Jinyoung's head jerks up to catch sight of his megawatt smile and the crinkles which are forming around his amused eyes.

“Damn mine, too.” Jinyoung joins in the laughter and the situation is a bit weird but this weirdness is surprisingly entertaining. “It was like he wanted to make a pond inside my mouth.”

“Ew, the wet type. Mine was darting his tongue in and out of his mouth like a damn snake. That was so weird. In my head I called him Nagini.”

“That's awesome,” Jinyoung snickers. It's like his laugh is contagious and makes Mark laugh more. And the more Mark laughs, the more Jinyoung is laughing. The situation is silly but astoundingly comfortable.

But soon their laughter fade away and the comfortable feeling does as well. In the back of his mind a small voice reminds Jinyoung that he probably should go back to pond boy now. Jinyoung ignores it. Instead he meets Mark's eyes. Only the sounds of their little gasps after their laughing fit can be heard in the room.

Mark's eyes, the intensity in them, the intensity in him and his movements, his charisma, everything is magnetic. And when the blond holds his gaze and slowly moves towards him, closing the distance between them, this invisible magnetism ensures that Jinyoung is not running away but moves towards him. This magnetism draws him right into Mark Tuan's arms.

And when those arms wrap around him and those doe eyes flutter shut right in front of his face and those soft lips are meeting his, Jinyoung doesn't question anything. He simply lets himself fall into it. He blames the magnetism. It's not his fault that he has no defenses against this boy. The magnetism makes him weak. The magnetism makes him capturing the blond's lips without hesitation. It's the magnetism which brings out the needy moan that comes up his throat as soon as Mark's tongue brushes his.

Jinyoung's hands find Mark's styled hair and mess it up. In return, Mark's hands are roaming across his back and ass as if he would explore his body for the first time. The urgency in both their movements comes as a surprise to Jinyoung but he blames the magnetism.

Mark is crowding him against the sinks. He eventually lifts him up and positions Jinyoung on the the edge of it. It would be a bit uncomfortable if he wouldn't immediately wrap his legs around Mark's hips to bring him as close as possible. He's literally clinging to him but Mark is just as eager to be near him.

Mark bites down on his bottom lip. Jinyoung blesses the silence in the restroom with a mix of a squeal and a groan. God, Mark is hungry today. Hungry for every centimeter in Jinyoung's mouth. He runs his tongue over Jinyoung's teeth, savoring the taste before he dives deeper again. He licks into him as if he wants to drink Jinyoung, as if he would shatter into countless shards if he wouldn't get enough of him now. And Jinyoung loves it.

The familiar fires, the flames of three-quarter god Mark Tuan, lick up his skin and make him burn with anticipation. He didn't know how much he needed this until he had the wonderful hands of this glorious boy back on his body.

Mark shoves his hand underneath Jinyoung's shirt and heads directly for his nipple. The way he roughly rubs over his nub has him moaning in seconds.

“Mark,” he pants into his mouth. “Fuck Mark!”

“Sugartoast, I missed your gorgeous sex body,” his deep voice trickles into his mouth. Jinyoung might go insane just this second.

“WHAT THE FUCK?”

Against their will, they interrupt their passionate kiss to turn their heads towards the door to find the source of the outraged voice. Jinyoung thinks the shocked looking guy, who stands in the door, could be Nagini.

“Tom, really now? Ten minutes ago you were kissing _me_. I only blinked and you already have found another guy while I'm waiting for you out there like a damn idiot? You fucking jerk. Just fuck yourself!” And with this, Nagini leaves the scene as quickly as he entered it.

Jinyoung is still sitting on the edge of the sink, his legs holding Mark close while the latter holds Jinyoung with one arm around his back, his other hand still palms his nipple. But they aren't kissing now. Instead they are staring at the empty spot by the door before they turn their heads back to look at each other.

As soon as their eyes meet, they are bursting into a new fit of laughter. They giggle like madness has a tight grip on them, their bodies slump forwards so that they need to hold each other tightly in order to not collapse.

“I can't believe this just happened,” Jinyoung wheezes after three straight minutes of speechlessness.

“Well, guess this was my last snake session,” Mark snickers. “Surprisingly I'm not sad.”

“He just called you Tom though.”

“Yeah, as you can see we shared a truly deep bond up to this point.”

“Oh my god,” Jinyoung continues to laugh as he lets his forehead rest on Mark's shoulder for a few seconds. “What is his real name? I mean, he didn't introduce himself as Nagini, right?”

“I don't remember. Jerry? Maybe?”

“Maaaark.”

“What? He called me Tom. So maybe-”

“I can't believe you,” Jinyoung says, still widely smiling while he tries to catch his breath. His lips are still tingling from the kiss.

“What was your guy's name then, huh?”

“Don't know. We didn't introduce ourselves.”

“You didn't even.... wow Sugartoast, you're worse than me,” Mark comments with feigned indignation.

“Wait, why is not learning the other's name worse than learning it and forgetting it right away?” Jinyoung questions with just the same amount of feigned indignation to continue this clown discussion.

“Because we at least planned to be polite. But you were out to be rude right from the start.”

“The fact that _you_ call m_e_ rude. What a joke,” Jinyoung huffs playfully and lifts his eyebrows.

“You say I'm rude?”

“Yes.”

“Like.....why?”

“Oh wow, you don't even know. I'm still mad at you because you were so rude to me last time and you also don't even know why.”

“You're mad at me?” The expression on his face is real. The surprise, the cluelessness, it's no acting.

“Bitch yes,” Jinyoung answers in disbelief.

“But I asked you before you left and you said everything is okay.”

“Learn to read between the lines. I was obviously mad.”

“And why?”

Jinyoung groans and rolls his eyes. The ridiculousness of the situation hits him truly when he realizes that they are still in their make out position. “I honestly have to explain it?”

“No, it's fine,” Mark quickly tries to play the issue down. “You're mad at me. I'm sorry.”

“What exactly are you sorry for?” Jinyoung probes.

“For making you mad of course.” This is not what Jinyoung wants to hear but it's better than nothing, he decides. “Should I give you flowers?”

“No, I don't really like flowers.”

“Then I just give you a real good fuck. Would that help?” The charming smile on his lips is enticing but the usual bluntness of his statement brings a sheepish smile to Jinyoung's face. This seems to encourage Mark even more.

“Sugartoast,” he whispers while he's bringing his face close to Jinyoung. His pretty doe eyes are diving into Jinyoung's while his fingertips start again to slowly rub his nipple. “Would you do me the honor of accompanying me home for the night?”

Jinyoung can't go with him. He knows that wouldn't do him any good in the long run. He will try to detach himself from Mark as long as he still can. He isn't that stupid to spend another night with him and fall deeper into his trap.

“I would love to.”

Well, that didn't go according to plan. Damn magnetism, Jinyoung curses inwardly. But the fetching smile he receives from Mark distracts him from this small burst of distress. The blond lifts him from the sink and puts him back down on the floor before he grasps his hand to pull him towards the door.

But before they leave the room, Mark turns around again. “Do with have to expect any trouble from your untalented kiss boy out there?”

“Maybe he will use Water gun or Rain dish against you. Apart from that we're safe, I think.”

“If this means I can take you home, I can handle fighting off some weird Pokémon abilities. You shall not be afraid, Sugartoast.” God, this smile. Jinyoung is already on the verge of swooning but manages to return a timid smile.

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

Jinyoung wakes up in the morning when the teasing sunlight pokes him awake with its brightness.

The first thing he realizes is the way his body threatens to fall apart as sheer pain slices through him with every move. Is there a muscle in him that doesn't hurt right now? Probably not. Mark had him several times this night. He has no idea what was up with them but they both went berserk. Also they didn't get much sleep, three hours maximum. The physical pain is no joke but his head is empty and light. It feels amazing. Who needs a functioning body when the mind is in such a good state?!

He rolls around in Mark's comfortable bed and realizes that the bed owner is missing. Where the heck is this boy again? But his question is answered immediately when he notices the sound of running water coming from the bathroom. Apparently Mark is taking a shower. That's a good idea because the state they went to sleep in was not a particularly neat one.

He's glad when Mark turns the shower off. Jinyoung needs to use the toilet and it needs to be soon. So he struggles out of bed and trudges towards the bathroom. He thinks he can hear his bones cracking in the process. Every single one of them hates his needy mind.

Jinyoung knocks on the door before he exclaims, “Mark, I need to pee. Let me in. Also, good morning.”

“Go away,” he hears Mark's voice calling from the other side. He sounds uncharacteristically whiny.

“E-Excuse me?”

“I can't let you in. As soon as I see you, I want to fuck you again. And I can't anymore. I'm exhausted, Sugartoast.”

“W-What? Are you dumb? I need to fucking pee. Open the door or I will piss in your damn kitchen sink.”

The sigh which Mark heaves in there is so loud that Jinyoung can make it out perfectly fine. “Are you at least wearing something?”

“Yes.”

The door eventually opens after approximately 20 seconds of silence. Mark is almost naked, only a towel hangs low on his narrow hips. So low, that it's way too sexy and distracting. His hair is wet. A few stray drops are sliding down his toned body. Jinyoung spots a thick water drop rolling down Mark's neck. It passes a few of the pretty, dark bruises which Jinyoung created there last night. He licks his lips while he remembers how Mark's skin tasted on his tongue.

He tears his eyes away from this battle field which is his neck to find Mark's gaze. But his eyes aren't meeting Jinyoung's. A stunned Mark beholds a stark naked Jinyoung from head to toe. The blond's eyes are glowing with fresh flames.

“Liar,” he quietly rasps. He doesn't stop staring at Jinyoung's body.

“Well, I'm wearing a smile,” Jinyoung cheekily replies while he flashes him a close-lipped smile, dimple on full display.

But Mark only so much as glances at his face before he goes back to behold the more interesting regions of his body.

The air is sizzling between them as Jinyoung cautiously squeezes himself past Mark. The blond's eyes are already burning small wildfires into his skin and Jinyoung knows that he has to get away quickly.

“Behave! You don’t want to risk something happening that would be extremely unsexy and both of us will never forget. Just let me go in there,” Jinyoung reasons, voice and eyes soft.

“Hmpf,” is the only noise which comes from Mark's throat before Jinyoung quickly shuts the door behind himself.

This was just a tiny interaction but how could it be so hot and full of tension again?! Also it's just the damn morning after a night full of filthy sex and they almost can't walk past each other without getting it on?! How Jinyoung almost melted under his captivating eyes, it's crazy. It's all crazy. Whatever this thing is between him and Mark, it's pure madness and it's something Jinyoung never experienced with somebody else before.

He finally can relieve himself but as he's holding his dick, his thoughts are going back to the mental image of an almost naked and wet Mark and the way his eyes wanted every tiny bit of Jinyoung again. The want. The unmasked desire in Mark's eyes is the reason why Jinyoung feels special like he never felt before. And he can't say that he hates it.

Eventually Jinyoung is ready to leave the bathroom, still very naked. Though he didn't expect such a greeting. When he opens the door, Mark stands there, now just as naked as Jinyoung, still wonderful and still hot as hell. Mark stares for just two more seconds before he attacks Jinyoung like the starved wildcat he is.

Mark's hand is on the side of Jinyoung's head, fingers entangled in his short hair to hold him in place while the blond seizes his lips. His other arm curls around Jinyoung's waist to secure him while Mark is slowly guiding him backwards. Eventually his back touches the wall of the living room. Mark is trapping him against it. Jinyoung wouldn't want it any other way.

Faintly he remembers that his body is supposed to hurt but the feeling of Mark's tongue against his blocks out minor details like that. Jinyoung enjoys this so much. Despite feeling sleepy and groggy just minutes ago, now his whole being seems to be equipped with a hypersensitivity which only applies to Mark. The roughness of Mark's tongue, stroking against the underside of his own tongue, is almost driving him mad. The fingers in his hair which holding him right where Mark wants him to be are turning him on so much more than this simple action should. Their bare chests against each other, their little, wet noises, Mark's overwhelming body heat, all of this is too much. He wants Mark so bad, he can't even think straight anymore.

Jinyoung pushes his hips forwards, against Mark's to rub them together. Mark groans into his mouth but doesn't pull away. The blond responds in the most wonderful way and starts to draw circles into Jinyoung's hips. He gasps as their erections rock against each other. The delicious friction and pressure send bliss shooting through his veins. Jinyoung bites his lip as he desperately tries to stifle an onslaught of moans. All in vain of course. It's too overpowering to handle for his needy body. He just lets everything flow, moaning into Mark's mouth as if somebody just put on the soundtrack of a porn movie.

“God Sugartoast, every time I thought I witnessed your best reaction already, you still manage to outdo yourself,” Mark's raspy voice comes out when he pulls away from the kiss to look into Jinyoung's half-lidded eyes.

Jinyoung doesn't reply anything. He's too engulfed in the magic of Mark's brown, shiny irises. At least until Mark uncurls his arm to lift his palm in front of Jinyoung's mouth. “Now spit!” Admittedly, Jinyoung is a little confused. Only when Mark spits in his own palm, it slowly dawns on him what he is planning. So he starts to gather his saliva and spits it also into his hand where it mixes with Mark's. Under any other circumstances with any other person he would find this plain disgusting. Right now he thinks it's just a normal necessity in order to get what he wants.

As soon as there is enough fluid, Mark's wet palm find his own cock and spreads the spit to make it slick. In the meantime his lips find Jinyoung's wet and shiny ones to engage him in another passionate but short kiss.

“Come on, Sugartoast. Hope on.” Mark grabs his thighs to lift Jinyoung up with surprising ease. His back is against the wall. This helps to hold him up but the rest of his body weight, Mark carries all alone.

“Where is your exhausted body now?” Jinyoung pants with a smirk on his lips.

“Who? I don't know him,” Mark answers with an equally playful smirk.

“You're unbelievable,” Jinyoung chuckles.

“Care to assist a little, Sugartoast?” Mark glances down before he finds Jinyoung's eyes again. The smirk is almost gone from his face. Instead Mark's sharp canine bites his full bottom lip. His eyes are ablaze when they meet Jinyoung's who swallows thickly. Another second later he comprehends what Mark wants from him. Without tearing his eyes away, his palm slides across Mark's tense chest muscles, down his toned stomach and his taut lower abdomen until his hand finds his hard erection. He guides it towards his hole. When the head of his dick nudges against his entrance, Mark comes closer, shoves him more against the wall and folds his legs more in his grasp, until the tip pushes in. Jinyoung lets go of his dick so Mark can slide the rest of his cock in.

Jinyoung gasps at the feeling of being so full again. The position is unfamiliar for him but he soon learns that it's a good one for having Mark insanely deep inside him. The way Mark squeezes his eyes shut and throws his head back with an angry grunt makes Jinyoung dizzy. His face is so close and every detail is stunning. The frown wrinkles between his eyes, the way his nostrils flare, the way he looks angry even though Jinyoung knows he provides Mark with the greatest pleasure right now. All of this arouses him to a point of no return. A little whimper falls from his lips before he wraps his arms around Mark's shoulders to cling to him as close as possible.

When Mark fucks into him, Jinyoung pushes his face into the crook of his neck, finding a secure place in the middle of chaos. Mark is eager to pick up the pace. He pushes so deep inside Jinyoung that it doesn't take long until he hits his prostate for the first time.

“AAAAH! YES MARK! YES,” he yells bluntly.

“Good like this?” Mark growls and Jinyoung gives the only answer he knows.

“HARDER! FUCK ME HARDER!”

Mark knew this would be coming. And Mark grants him his wish right away. Pleasure and heat singe through Jinyoung's body, race each other in order to see which one can wreck him more. Jinyoung's nails dig crescents into the skin of Mark's back. With every nudge against his pleasure spot he clings tighter to Mark, holding onto him as if both their lives would depend on it. He pants and whines into his shoulder. His moans cresting to a lewd melody but Mark does nothing but encourage him to go on.

That is until he stops moving.

Jinyoung pulls his face out of his secret spot to look at Mark's smug smile. “W-What is the problem?” he gasps, utterly confused.

“You like it, right?”

“I think that's obvious. You choose this moment to claim a performance appraisal? Are you for real?” Jinyoung snaps, angry and desperate at the sudden loss of pleasure.

“Not really. But if you want more, beg for it, Sugartoast.”

“Damn fucker! MOVE!”

“That’s not begging. That’s insulting and commanding,” Mark points out, seemingly without a worry in the world while Jinyoung is fuming. Yes, it's kind of thrilling, the prolonging of this delicious anticipation of his orgasm. But this smug prick isn't supposed to think that he can do whatever he likes with Jinyoung.

“Listen, you jerk. I will slaughter you if you won't get it on NOW!”

“But you begged so prettily the other night. You even cried for me,” Mark reasons.

“Right now I'm in the best position to punch your overly handsome face, you sadistic bastard.”

“But then I would drop you and you'd get hurt.”

“That would be worth it,” Jinyoung hisses and underlines his statement with an especially fierce glare.

“Alright,” Mark chuckles. “I accept this because I like your feistiness just as much as your tears.”

Jinyoung would have liked to answer something bitchy but before he can, Mark knocks all the air out of him. He slams into him without a warning, and also slams his whole body into the wall again. When the tip of his cock digs into his golden spot, a rough cry makes it up Jinyoung's throat.

“Better?” Mark's deep voice breathes into his ear.

“Fuck! The best!” Jinyoung can't stop moaning. It's like every breath of air amounts to a string of moans. But he doesn't care anymore. Mark is doing wonders with his hard dick. He's fucking him so good, he's holding him up so good, Jinyoung has no work at all so the least he could do is letting Mark know that he's doing a great job here. “So good,” he pants and he drools on Mark's shoulder because controlling himself is difficult when only pleasure rules inside his body. “Mark! Mark! Fuck!”

And then Mark sinks down his teeth into the skin of Jinyoung's chest. Jinyoung rasps a sob but hugs Mark only tighter. His dick inside him, his teeth on him and literally Mark all over him, he's so turned on and so devastated at the same time. The intimacy of this moment is overwhelming.

His body goes tight, coiling for release. He reaches down to tug his own hard length with shaky fingers. He's not surprised when only after mere seconds his orgasm hits him like a crushing lava fountain. His cum is spurting against Mark's chest and neck while Jinyoung releases an earsplitting scream of lust. Involuntarily he clenches down hard on Mark's rocking cock, so hard that he's trapping him and squeezing all his hot cum out him. Mark barks a deep growl against Jinyoung's chest. The wildcat is going insane. He feels the hot semen spread inside of him and it only fuels his ongoing climax. He trembles around Mark's dick, shakes and shudders in his arms. But even like that, even while Mark is wading through his own blaze of bliss, his strong arms are keeping Jinyoung up without fail.

Only when they are both returning to their right minds, Mark slowly lets him sink down and is careful to put him back on his own two feet. Jinyoung wobbles so Mark uses his whole body to press him back against the wall to prevent him from falling.

Mark's hand comes up and cradles Jinyoung's cheek tenderly. “You're pure gold, Sugartoast,” he whispers against his lips in low, erratic breaths. Jinyoung stares into his strong eyes, only five centimeters away from him. He can't say anything. He needs to breathe and he needs to process this amazing sex and its intensity. He needs to somehow handle the closeness between them and he tries to foresee what Mark will do next but he knows he needs superpowers to achieve that. When Mark's soft lips brush against his, Jinyoung simply lets go of the remaining fragments of thoughts and falls into the blissful nothingness which Mark always creates for him. He only knows the feeling of Mark's lips, the touch of his body, the beating of their hearts.

It's the perfect moment. It's calm and soft and comfortably warm after the destructive heat devoured them. Mark's free hand searches for his. He entwines his fingers with Jinyoung's while their lips are sliding together in silence. So this is happiness, a small voice in the back of Jinyoung's head whispers into the eternal nothingness. This is happiness...

An angry knock at the door followed by an overdramatic amount of door bell ringing makes them both flinch. Mark glares in the direction of the source of annoying sound before he grunts dismissively. Jinyoung knows how he feels. He would have loved to hold on to this moment as well.

“A friend of yours?” Jinyoung quietly asks.

“Certainly not.” Mark eventually moves towards the door to put an end to the soundtrack of disturbance.

“Mark, wear something!”

“Why?” He turns around and looks at Jinyoung with his head tilted to the side.

“Mark!” Jinyoung scolds but a chuckle of disbelief follows right away. The blond playfully rolls his eyes before a tiny smile graces his face.

“Next thing you say is I have to wipe off your cum before I can open the door.”

“That's exactly what I say,” Jinyoung snickers as he hurries to put his clothes back on.

“Damn,” Mark groans and picks up a pair of sweatpants. After he put them on he grabs some tissues to clean himself up half-heartedly.

Jinyoung more or less hides. From his spot in the living room he can't see who it is at the door but he can hear the conversation that takes place.

“Good morning, neighbor,” Mark says after opening the door. For a moment Jinyoung contemplates if it's okay to greet people at the door, wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants. But it's too late anyway.

“Tuan,” a half annoyed, half desperate male voice is audible, “it's Sunday morning. Can you guys tone it down a little? I feel like being in the middle of… whatever it is that you’re doing in there.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean whoever you're fucking in your apartment is damn fucking loud. I don't want to have anything to do with it and I really don't want to listen to you having sex. Is this clear enough?” Jinyoung is probably madly blushing right now. He wasn't aware that they, that _he_ was so loud. Not while it was happening at least.

Jinyoung sees the back view of Mark and notices how his back straightens suddenly. He's squaring his shoulders and if he interprets it correctly from what he can see, Mark is crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Listen carefully now,” Mark says, calm but in an undertone of irritation, “whatever I do in _my_ apartment is _my_ business and not at all yours. I don't like your ridiculous dubstep music either. And you're playing it at the most odd times of the day. But I still endure it when it comes creeping through the walls. Do you see me interrupting your life? No. Your taste in _music_ is a disgrace to humanity but do _you_ see _me_ nagging at you on a freaking Sunday morning about it? I think the fuck not. And having this kind of disgusting taste in music is much worse than having great sex,” Mark finishes his slightly threatening impromptu speech.

“B-But t-this is.... this is....”

“It's okay, you can simply apologize and I will forget about your misbehavior.” Mark's voice is so confident that it doesn't leave room for discussion. If Jinyoung wouldn't be so exhausted, he's sure that he would feel a reaction to it in his pants right now.

“B-But.... I was...I mean.... I think......”

“Or I could inform the landlord about your little dubstep parties. Whatever you want.”

“No! No, it's fine! I'm sorry for disturbing you. Please..... just have a nice day.”

“Nice day to you, too,” Mark calls after his retreating neighbor before he closes the door.

“Now, where were we?” Mark casually asks as he walks back towards Jinyoung, gracefully like the wildcat.

“That was.... intense..... and rude,” Jinyoung mumbles.

“I know but he apologized so don't be too hard on him.”

“What? I mean you. _You_ were rude.”

“How?”

“He came to complain and in the end you made him apologize,” Jinyoung points out. He still can't comprehend that this really happened.

“And?”

“I mean, maybe we were really a little loud.”

“Nope. If he feels bothered by it, he can move out for all I care.”

“What?”

“What what?” Mark only shrugs while he steps right in front of Jinyoung. His hands find his hips and gently squeeze them. “Sugartoast, I won’t say sorry for fucking a gorgeous boy against the wall in _my_ apartment.”

“Oh my god, you’re truly so rude,” Jinyoung chuckles.

“It's called honesty. Also the guy who threatened to slaughter me called me rude again. Does that make any sense?”

“That's different. That was sex talk,” Jinyoung tries to defend himself.

“Sure, sexy dirty talk about slaughtering. You really know how to turn me on,” Mark teases.

“You know, if you wouldn't do all this prolonging right in the middle of gorgeous sex, I wouldn't even have any reason to threaten you. But you think it's cool to rub ice cubes all over my sensitive body parts, or sucking my dick and then just stop to go somewhere and leave me lying there like an idiot, or just stopping to fuck me for no fucking reason at all, apart from you being sadistic. If that counts as a reason, then yes, that's totally the reason, you sadistic weirdo. But if you would act like a normal human for once, I wouldn't probably have to threaten you. Who knows, maybe I would scream less in general? I mean, probably not. By now, even I noticed that I'm loud during sex, but who knows? Maybe it would be worth a-”

And then he's interrupted by a pair of lips on his. Jinyoung doesn't try to fight. He takes what he can get from those lips instead. After half a minute of sharing a gentle kiss, Mark pulls away but he still holds Jinyoung by his hips.

“Did you just kiss me quiet?”

“Yes, pretty much. But also, I don't know if you're aware of it but whenever you're excited like this you're pouting while you speak and that is simply adorable and an invitation for my mouth.” The smile on his handsome face isn't smug or mischievous now. It's a mix between charming and amused. “And yes, Sugartoast, you are loud during sex but I wouldn't want it any other way. And also, yes, maybe our sex is a bit unusual but anyone can do boring. But you and I, we are not like that.”

Jinyoung is only gaping at him. He's not that quick to process everything. “I interpret your silence as consent. Now Sugartoast, are you hungry?”

“Will you say something like 'hungry for my dick' next?”

Mark releases one of his high-pitched chuckles, which Jinyoung finds plain adorable. “No, I was planning on asking you to have breakfast with me. I don't have anything here which would satisfy your breakfast preferences but I know a place where they make awesome pancakes. I assume you like pancakes?”

“Y-Yes, but...... do _you_ like pancakes?”

“I can deal with pancakes. Don't worry. So are we going?”

“Will you get dressed first?” Jinyoung asks with a cheeky grin.

“If you absolutely insist....,” Mark answers and pulls a face before he offers Jinyoung a wink. The blond makes his way to his bedroom to search for clothes while Jinyoung can't yet fully believe what is happening. Mark asked him to have breakfast with him. He isn't kicking him out and he isn't running away either. He wants to spend some time with him. Fully dressed. Not fucking. This is so unexpected but Jinyoung is giddy with anticipation.

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

Jinyoung swallows this huge bite of very tasty, syrupy pancake before he starts to speak.

“You know this when it’s nighttime and it’s kind of warm but not warm enough that you can sleep entirely without your blanket? But here’s the problem: it’s still so warm that you get too hot under the blanket and you start sweating. Sweating while sleeping is just so gross. So you throw the blanket away to make it better. But like three minutes later you start shivering because it’s not warm enough without the blanket. So you grab the blanket from where you have angrily thrown it and hide under it again. And for the next five minutes everything is splendid but then you start to sweat again. But you have learned by now that it’s too cold without the blanket so you just stick out particular body parts, like one foot or arm or just one half of your body, which is silly because this part also starts to shiver soon and you have to cover yourself with the blanket again. It’s a vicious circle. I hate nights like these,” Jinyoung sighs and takes another bite of pancake.

“Wow… everyday problems,” Mark comments. A small chuckle follows his statement.

“Whoa, I tell you. It's annoying.”

“So you had a terrible night at my place?”

“Oh no, not at all. Tonight was nothing like that. Tonight was perfect,” Jinyoung quickly clarifies. “It just came to my mind that this happens sometimes and I... uhm.... I just... talk a lot.”

“Perfect,” Mark quietly repeats Jinyoung's statement. A pretty smile plays on his lips. “As long as you didn't shiver-sweat at my place, it's fine. So Sugartoast, how's poetry?”

“Uhm, still annoying and I'm still complaining but I guess I'm not as dramatic about it anymore as I used to be?”

“That's good. I'm proud of you.”

“For what reason?” Jinyoung scoffs.

“You stick to your initial decision. That's a good quality.”

“Oh... I guess?” Jinyoung is slightly surprised. Usually people are nagging at him when he talks about the more difficult parts of his studies. This is the first time that somebody praises him for sticking to it even though there are hard times.

“I was wondering..... this bottle of vodka in your freezer, are you drinking this alone?”

“No, mostly we drink a few shots when Jackson comes over and we prepare to go to a party or club. Why are you asking?”

“Just, don't drink alone. Drinking alone is sad. Don't do this.”

“Okay?”

“Don't look at me like I'm weird. This is a serious advice,” Mark laughs and looks cute while doing it. “You shouldn't be sad, Sugartoast. Also it's a bit weird. Vodka isn't even sweet. You're obviously a sucker for sweet things and still there is the vodka.”

“Vodka is an exception.”

“Life is all about exceptions, huh?”

“What do you mean?”

“Just that it's good when not everything fits into the ideal concept. It's refreshing in some sense. It's surprising and thrilling and those exceptions keep you alive in the end.”

“I somehow feel like we're not talking about vodka anymore.”

“That might be true,” Mark says vaguely but with the sweetest smile. Jinyoung somehow gets the message that he won't go into detail but he thinks it's okay. Instead he marvels at this wonderful smile on this wonderful Sunday morning.

“Did you have your teeth sharpen?”

“What?”

“Your teeth? To bite people better,” Jinyoung explains.

“You ask, if I had my teeth sharpen to bite people better?” Mark asks, disbelief obvious on his face.

“Yeah. Did you?”

Mark laughs. Jinyoung likes it when he laughs like this, without any smugness in it. It is so lighthearted and innocent and it makes Jinyoung's heart pump a bit faster. “No, Sugartoast. It's all natural beastliness.”

“Like a vampire.”

“A vampire....”

“Are you one?”

“Is this truly syrup on your pancakes or some kind of liquor?”

“Huh?”

“You ask questions as if you're drunk,” Mark snickers and shakes his head.

“Is this a no to the vampire thing?”

“What the heck.... yes. A very big no.” Mark keeps laughing. The sunlight hits him as it breaks through the cloudy sky and Jinyoung thinks this smile must be the brightest thing he ever have seen.

“You just were so weird in the mornings and it was..... suspicious.”

“I had my reasons but none of them is me being a vampire. I promise.”

“Alright. I think I believe you. For now.”

“For now...,” he mumbles, still smiling. “Better than nothing, I guess.”

“Uhm.... last time..... your friend from the other day in the morning....”

“Jae-Jae?”

“Yeah, he was..... I don't know, he was kind of pissed at me even though I met him for the first time then.”

“Oh, really? What was going on?”

“He told me to back off and leave you alone.” Mark's whole body shifts into a stiffness which Jinyoung didn't see on him yet. The smile disappears and leaves behind a focused mask. “Did you tell him that I abuse you or something?”

“No, Sugartoast, not at all. I told him about you, yes, but not in any negative way.”

“So why does he want me to stay away? I don't understand.”

“Were you offended because of _him_? Was that the reason why you were mad at me?”

“Uhm.... partly but not mainly. Mark, answer my question, please?”

Yeah....sure....... he is......occasionally a little overprotective of me. I guess he overdid it that day. Maybe he was in a bad mood. I'm sorry, Sugartoast. I will talk to him.”

“And why is he overprotective?” For sure Jinyoung realizes that Mark feels uncomfortable and would love to drop the issue. But Jinyoung really wants answers to the ton of questions in his head.

“We're best friends. We look out for each other.”

“Are you sleeping with him?”

Now Mark chokes on the orange juice which he's in the middle of drinking. Jinyoung watches him with large eyes and is glad when Mark calms down and isn't spontaneously murdered by his morning beverage.

“Excuse me, what?” he wheezes.

“Or is he just having a huge crush on you? I thought that one of those two things it must be why he hates my ass.”

“Uhm... okay, hold up. No and no. Just two nos. Scratch both of your theories because no.”

“But-”

“Still no.”

“Fine,” Jinyoung huffs. “If I ever meet him again, I will just ask him why he hates my guts.”

“He doesn't hate your guts,” Mark assures. The smile is back, playing on his lips like a gentle melody. “I swear, I only told him good things about you. Like what bad is there to tell about you anyway?”

“Your soft-soaping is so obvious, Mark Tuan,” Jinyoung tries to snort but he knows it didn't quite come through as it was supposed to because damn, Mark is so good at soft-soaping.

Mark reaches across the table, his fingertips fleetingly dance over Jinyoung's cheek. The latter is a bit stunned. Still there is no impulse to pull away from the surprising touch.

“When did you get this? This scar here?” Mark asks, his eyes and fingertips lingering on the small scar on Jinyoung's cheek.

“Oh that was just a little accident when I was a kid. I wasn't careful enough while playing outside. I slipped and then I fell and there was a sharp stone and then my parents rushed me to hospital. It wasn't anything big. It's just that this scar will forever stay with me now.”

“Do you dislike it?”

Does he dislike his scar? What a weird question. A question not anyone asked him ever before.

“Not really. To be honest, I don't think about it a lot. It's barely noticeable anymore. So most of the time I forget that it's there. Only sometimes I see my reflection and think something like 'oh yeah, there was that'.”

“Good. Don't hate it. It's pretty.”

He's getting weirder by the minute.

“Pretty? How can a scar be pretty?” Jinyoung chuckles with a hint of uncertainty in his voice.

Mark's face is serious, his dreamy eyes flitting between Jinyoung's big, blinking ones and the scar on his cheek. “Because it makes you special. It's part of your life, your memories. It's part of everything what makes you the you of today. Everything about that is pretty.”

Jinyoung stares back with wide eyes. He didn't expect that. Maybe he expected more of a dorky kind of reasoning or more soft-soaping. But this isn't either. This is serious and it catches him off-guard. Eventually he tears his eyes away from Mark without answering anything. Instead his eyes wander over the remains of their breakfast.

Mark now cups his cheek and let's his thumb tentatively swipe over the scar, stroking it a few times before he takes his hand off of him completely. Jinyoung immediately misses the warmth of his touch and the intensity he feels when Mark's eyes are on him.

“So, I'm gonna pay for our breakfast now. I hope it didn't disappoint your expectations,” he says while he stands up.

“No, it was tasty. And it was good, the food but also..... also everything else. The talk and.... and... uhm.... stuff. T-Thanks.” Jinyoung hates his flustered ass. Why can't he use words like a human?! He studies literature for fuck's sake.

Charming smile. He still gets a reward for his dumb twaddle in form of a very charming smile. “I'm glad to hear that.”

As announced, Mark pays and then they step outside. The sun is gone but Jinyoung still feels warm. Mark says goodbye to him and Jinyoung says goodbye to Mark. There's no kiss of course, not even a hug. Would Jinyoung have liked one? Yes, most probably. But he still got more today than he expected.

So this is how it feels to spend time with Mark, like real time, talking and not only fucking and sleeping. It feels actually nice. All of Mark's attention was focused solely on him even though Jinyoung was fully dressed. He asked questions. He was interested. It felt warm and like something that matters.

Maybe Jinyoung skipped all the way home after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me too long to write this chapter. Sorry. This story already receives so much support from you. I'm incredibly grateful for it. Thank you.
> 
> Fun fact: When I first thought about this story I wanted to make it a one shot. Me, a clown.


	4. Four

Jinyoung sighs in relief. This poem analysis pushed him to his absolute limit but he's finally done. Also he thinks he didn't do such a bad job. At least he can hand this paper in without having qualms. He closes the lid of his laptop and leans back in his desk chair as he rubs his temples.

There's a knock at his door and Jinyoung doesn't even think about it much since he simply assumes that it's Jackson. But when he opens the door he's greeted with a surprise.

“Oh... hey Alex.”

“Hey, can I come in?” That never happened before. Never. Not a single time. So Jinyoung needs a few seconds to process.

“Uhm... sure?” He steps aside to give the boy space to come in.

“I need a resort. Jackson is fucking with some guy in our room and I don't want to witness this.”

“It's five in the afternoon.”

“He doesn't care.”

“Oh sure, it's Jackson after all. Who is this guy?”

“I didn't ask for his ID before he started to shed his clothes,” he grumbles.

“Okay, sure. Sit wherever you like,” Jinyoung says and watches how the boy goes straight for his bed. Jinyoung plops down in his desk chair again. “Any description of appearance?”

“I don't know.... black hair, eyes, nose, arms, legs. Yeah, basically that.”

“How specific,” Jinyoung scoffs.

“What about it? You want to fuck him, too or what?” the boy hisses and Jinyoung rolls his eyes.

“No, hell no. I just wonder..... usually Jackson would go to the respective guy's place, right?”

“Yeah, luckily that's usually the case. Anyway, can we stop talking about my roommate's sex life?”

“Sure. Sure. I'm actually a bit surprised that you seek shelter here of all places.” This is true. Jinyoung knows he has friends here, not in the same dorm building but definitely on campus.

“You offered me your room last time when you were gone so I thought....… Also it's close to our room and I am lazy and....... Just tell me if I'm bothering you. I will leave,” he snaps.

“No, it's fine. As I was saying, I'm just surprised but not in an unpleasant way.” Alex looks down at his lap. Still, Jinyoung can spot the smile on his lips. “I actually just finished my assignment and am very happy and relieved.”

“Good,” Alex mumbles and is still not able to look at Jinyoung. He also doesn't say anything more and the atmosphere is slowly turning awkward. Jinyoung tries to roughly calculate how much time Jackson would need to fuck this boy in his room. He's suddenly slightly worried that it could be difficult to fill the time until he's done.

Though he is surprised by Alex. Jackson's roommate somehow gathered the courage to come to his room and ask to hang out. Jinyoung didn't expect that. But now, nothing. It's like it drained all of his energy to overcome himself and take the first step. So now nothing is left to make another effort.

In the end he decides that he won't spend this time saying nothing, not when he can make use of it somehow.

“Hey Alex, this might be a bit uncomfortable to talk about but I want to straight something out with you.”

“What?” He looks uncharacteristically panicked when he finally lifts his head to stare at Jinyoung with wide eyes. For a moment he wonders if Alex sees more of the world through those huge brown eyes, or if his vision is just the one of a normal person. This question would probably weird the boy out even more so he decides to go on with his initial proposition.

“So far, I had the impression that you.... that you kind of dislike me. I don't really know what I did to make you dislike me but that's what I assume from your behavior towards me.”

He just stares at Jinyoung with his mouth hanging open, so he decides to elaborate.

“Jackson said it's not true though. He said it's not like I think it is.”

“W-What else d-did he say?” he splutters, the panic in his eyes only growing.

“Uhm...” Jinyoung decides to lie. “Nothing much. Basically just that I'm imagining things and that you have your own way to handle situations... and people.”

He looks relieved now.

“I don't dislike you.”

“That's good. I hoped you would say that.” Actually he hoped he would say a bit more than that, but oh well.

“Why?” Why? He's asking why? Jinyoung inwardly sighs.

“Well, you're me friend's roommate and we hang out by default so it would be kind of bad. Also I'm not very fond of being disliked for no reason.”

“Oh... yeah, sure. Your friend's roommate. True.” Now he looks disappointed. Jinyoung is a bit sorry but he really doesn't know how to handle this boy when he's this passive.

“So if you would grant me just this tiny wish, please stop treating me as if I would ruin your life just by breathing, okay?” Jinyoung said this with a smile. He wants to come across as playful, not harsh, even though he means every word of it.

“I'm sorry, I really didn't mean it that way.”

“Then how did you mean it? What did I do to deserve this?” Now he looks all panicked again. That was probably too straight forward. Maybe he spent too much time with Mark and it rubbed off on him. He quickly tries to take the edge off it. “I mean, I saw you with other people and you always seemed to be perfectly nice and smiley. But with me, it was always different so I'm thinking that I must have done something....”

“No, it's not your fault. It's mine. I was an idiot. I swear I will change for the better.” When he's not glaring at Jinyoung, he actually looks friendly, maybe even cute.

“Alright, now that this is settled, you want to watch some funny videos? I have some on my phone.” He doesn't want to make the boy even more uncomfortable so he thinks it's better to stop asking difficult questions.

“Yes, please,” Alex cheers. So Jinyoung moves over to sit next to him on his bed. He notices how the boy starts to fidget beside him. That reminds Jinyoung that it's probably not that easy to sit so close to your secret crush, if it's even true that he is his secret crush, like Jackson said. But what can he do?! Alex has to deal with it. At least this spares them another two or so hours of awkward silence.

Soon they are both engrossed in funny animal videos and Alex seems to relax despite the close proximity. Right when they laugh their asses off about a dog imitating a duck, Alex receives a message. It's from Jackson, letting his roommate know that “wherever you went, you can come back now.... and sorry”. With a bit of reluctance Alex stands up, thanks Jinyoung for his hospitality and leaves.

What a surprising afternoon, Jinyoung thinks.

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

“And you see, there's this Russian girl in my course. Her name is Nadezhda and she's like a super brain. She's living in Korea for five years and her Korean is so excellent. And she wrote something in Cyrillic. Did you ever see Cyrillic? It looks hella weird. Then again, I guess the Korean alphabet looks hella weird for non-Koreans as well. You would know this better than I do. Anyway, she wrote it and then she translated it to French so she romanized it and then she translated it to Korean and used the Korean alphabet and I was like wow, this girl is like the evil doctor of languages, in the most positive way of course. I know evil doctor doesn't sound positive at first but I really mean it in an admiring way. And she's the top of the class and everyone else looks like a complete dumbass next to her, me included. And I'm just so envious. I know it's not nice but I am envious. I want to be so clever as well and it doesn't even seem like she has to work hard for it. It's just super brain power and natural talent. Why can't this be me, Jackson?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Jackson?”

“Uh-huh.”

He's not listening. He's busy on his mobile phone. Nevertheless Jinyoung assumed he would listen to him at least with half an ear. But he wasn't. “Also I thought about getting a nipple piercing and maybe a pair of antlers because I think it would go well with my hair style.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Also I'm thinking about doing an internship as a male hooker because I think that's where our economic future lies.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Also I slept with Mark again. He's a fucking hot sex god and I want to suck his massive dick all day long.”

“Uh-hYOU WHAT?” Jackson's eyes are huge when they blink at Jinyoung. The phone fell into his lap and is now forgotten.

“So this is how I get you to listen to me, yeah?”

“I listened to you all the time.”

“What did I say?”

“That you slept with Mark and things about his dick which I don't want to repeat.”

“Before that.”

“You said...... a lot of other things. Jinyoung, you're basically talking 24/7. You can't seriously expect me to always listen to you and remember everything you ever said.”

“But it would be nice.”

“Not gonna happen, friend.”

“Hmpf.”

“But you and Ma-”

“Who are you texting anyway? I hope that person is worth ignoring me.”

“The guy I'm currently sleeping with.”

“Which guy?“

“Youngjae. The one from the party.”

“Oh.... so you decided to not listen to me and rather text the guy you barely know. Makes sense.”

“Thank you for your understanding.”

“Learn sarcasm, dumbass.”

“I know sarcasm and I also know how to ignore it when it's annoying,” he answers with nonchalance and a little shrug of his shoulders.

“I'm going back to my room now.”

“Jinyoungie, don't be pissed off at the smallest things,” Jackson coos and squeezes his knee. “Also we're not done here. That thing with you and Mark, was that to get my attention or did it really happen?”

“It did happen. Big time.”

“Jinyoung, how often do I have to tell you that-”

“I won't discuss this anymore with you.”

“So you decided to embrace your doom, yeah?” Jackson grumbles and it's obvious that he's sulky.

“I just want to see where all this will lead me.”

“Doom. That's where it will lead you. I'm the voice of reason in your life only _once_ and you don't have enough courtesy to listen to me. I'm disappointed.”

“That may be,” Jinyoung says and crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“But I know you spent a lovely time with Alex.” Now Jackson crawls closer to him and wiggles his eyebrows. Jinyoung tries to dodge the arm which aims for his shoulder with a small “Yuck!” but Jackson is quick wrap it around him and drag him to his side. “Tell me about it, Jinyoungie.”

“He came over when you were fucking... probably this Youngjae guy.”

“I know. And a very happy roommate returned to me afterwards. You were sweet to him,” Jackson coos.

“I'm always nice to him. It just so happened that he also treated me like a human this time.”

“You're such boyfriends,” Jackson cackles and squeezes himself closer to Jinyoung during his personal mini-celebration. Jinyoung only rolls his eyes and hugs himself tighter.

“We're actually not. We barely talked. It was a tiny bit suffocating to be honest.”

“You both weren't talking because you were busy doing other things? Huh? Huuuuh?” Jackson looks at him with his typical whoremonger smirk. It's gross.

“Stop! Your dirty thoughts are uncalled for.”

“Saying I am dirty, while just minutes ago you said unbearable things about Mark Tuan's dick.”

“Mark Tuan's dick is quality content, in every conversation as well as in my mouth.”

“Aaaaaarrrrggh, how to unhear?!” Jackson wails while he performs a variety of overexaggerated gestures. Jinyoung just beholds him with a very judging look until he is done with his little play.

“Anyway, there is nothing going on with Alex. The only good thing is that I addressed the fact that I think he dislikes me for some reason and we kind of have sorted this out now.”

“I really didn't think you would have the guts to broach that subject. You got my praise and respect, Park Jinyoung.”

“Yeah whatever,” he mumbles. Jinyoung is also glad that they discussed this matter. Though he decides to not reveal the fact that Mark's usual straightforwardness was his initial inspiration for that move.

“Now you can be boyfriends with Alex. Awesome,” Jackson cheers again.

“Oh my god shut up!”

“Give him a chance, Jinyoungie.”

“I'm sleeping with Mark.”

“You talk as if you're in a relationship with him which, last time I checked, wasn't the case.”

“Thanks for pointing out the obvious,” Jinyoung snaps.

“My point: just stop sleeping with him and get yourself a real relationship. We both know you're the steady type.” He really got a point there but to stop sleeping with Mark seems nearly impossible. “Don't tell me that you didn't find Alex a bit sweet while he was with you.”

“He was nice. We had an okay time.”

“An okay time my ass. He was over the moon when he came back.”

“Then he was there alone.”

“Why can't you like him, you grinch?”

“Because I don't choose who I like,” Jinyoung murmurs.

“He will woo you to the point that he's the only choice for you. Trust me.”

“Uh-huh,” Jinyoung says listlessly. “He didn't take any action yet and I doubt that he ever will have the courage to tell me about his supposed feelings.”

He knows Alex can be nice and he's certainly good-looking. And still he doesn't feel any desire to imagine Alex as anything more than a friend. Maybe it will change, maybe it won't. He can't predict the future or how his feelings will change.

“Give him some time, will you?”

“It's fine if he doesn't confess. I'm actually fine with him not hating me. I don't need more.”

“Jinyoung!”

“What?”

Jackson sighs and unwraps his arm from his shoulder. “Never mind. Your time will come and I will be the one who holds the speech at your wedding, telling all your guests how rocky the beginning of your love story was.”

“Talking about weddings all of the sudden,” Jinyoung scoffs and rolls his eyes.

“Yes, weddings. While we're at it, I saw Jaebum in the mall yesterday and-”

“Wait, what has Jaebum to do with weddings?”

“Mine and his, our wedding.”

“I'm afraid I can't follow.”

“Then just let me talk. I saw Jaebum and you know I didn't see him since high school and fuck, he got hotter.”

“Uhm.... might be?”

“Set me up with him.”

“Come again?”

“Give me an opportunity to meet him. Put in a good word for me. Ask him how he thinks about me. Get me a date with him. Anything, Jinyoung. Please.”

To say Jinyoung is stunned is the understatement of the century. “Wait, why are you bugging me with Jaebum all of the sudden? You never showed any interest in him in high school.”

“That was because he had this aloof and unapproachable air surrounding him. I considered him as hot back then already but I never was brave enough to make a move.”

“And what changed?”

“I'm very close with his best friend now. And this best friend can be a great help.” There is it again, this disgusting wiggle of his eyebrows.

“Jackson Wang, do you tell me that you became my friend just so you could be one step closer to getting into Jaebum's pants?!”

“You don't seriously think that. STOP GLARING AT ME! You can't really think that, Jinyoungie.” Jinyoung pouts. “Jinyoungiiiiiieeeeeee,” Jackson pleads while he's clinging to his arm.

“Fine. Let's say that wasn't your motivation to become friends with me-”

“It wasn't.”

“Very well. I still won't help you.”

“Huuuuuuuh?” The expression on Jackson's face is an astounding mix of surprise, disappointment and confusion.

“You told me last time that you sleep around and now you ask me to set you up with my best friend? How does that make sense?”

“Last time?”

“When you told me that Mark is exactly the same as you?”

“Ooooh, that! Yeah, but I didn’t mean it.”

“How can’t you mean it? Also since we’re hanging out, I literally witnessed you walking home with a bunch of different people.”

“Why are you judging me?”

“I’m not! I just say that I don’t want you to do the same with my best friend, just sleeping with him to drop him afterwards.”

“I won’t.” The expression on his face looks actually serious but Jinyoung isn't easily convinced.

“Because you’re genuinely in love with him?”

“Come on, how should I know before I even had the chance to properly reconnect with him?”

“So you say there’s a high chance for you to just drop him after sleeping with him like everyone else, and only a _tiny_ chance that you will fall genuinely in love with him?” Jinyoung rants.

“Don't be so negative. I’m trying- wait, I get a call. I talk to you later.” Jackson grabs his phone and stands up. He's almost at the door when Jinyoung comprehends what is going on.

“It wasn't even ringing!”

“It’s on silent mode.”

“The screen is still dark.”

“Pssst, Jinyoungie. Jackson Wang at your service,” he says, speaking into his mobile phone while he walks out of his own room. Jinyoung rolls his eyes, pulls out his own phone and calls the escapee. Of course the line is free. At least Jackson has enough decency to take his call.

“I'd like to inform you that it's laughable that you claimed to be my voice of reason regarding anything. And now get back here so I can nag at you like you deserve it. We're going to talk this thing out.“

Jackson ends the call without answering anything and is back in the room in seconds. He trudges back to the bed and plops down next to Jinyoung again. Big brown puppy eyes stare at him, accompanied by a quivering pout.

“I just want Jaebum. Please. I have a crush on him since forever and now, when I saw him again, it was like BOOM and my heart was snatched.”

Jinyoung sighs and ruffles his own hair. Why does he have to face such challenges?!

“Look, Jackson. You're still texting with this other guy and you're saying you want to hit on Jaebum. So you might understand that I'm afraid you don't plan to be committed to my best friend, and I don't like that. And this other guy? Will you just drop him?”

“Youngjae and I aren't serious anyway. It's just sex. I can put a stop to that. But Jaebum, he's boyfriend material.”

“Are you sure that this Youngjae guy thinks the same? What if he's more into you than you think?”

“No, we're just in for the fucking. No relationship talks ever took place. I swear.” Jinyoung heaves a deep sigh. “So will you help me?”

“I don't know. I need to think about it some more. I don't want to make a mistake.”

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

Jinyoung is so confused, it's not even a bit funny anymore. Thoughts are running riot in his mind, his head a mess of pros and cons. He's mulling over the same things again and again, and still there isn't a solution looming on the horizon. He needs to discuss this, needs to phrase his thoughts to come to a decision. But he knows he can't do this with either Jackson nor Jaebum, since they are the protagonists in his latest problem.

This realization leads him to an reaction which probably isn't all that sensible but at least he takes action. That's what he tries to convince himself of, when he draws a deep breath and rings the doorbell of Mark's apartment.

Jinyoung is actually nervous, he realizes while he waits for the door to open. Maybe all of this is in vain. Maybe Mark isn't even home. But then he hears noises on the other side of the door and he swallows a lump in his throat which he didn't realize was there so far.

“Hey,” he meekly says while he lifts a hand to timidly wave at Mark.

Mark looks astounded, standing there in the door, beholding the guest which he obviously didn't expect.

“Hey. What are you doing here?” Jinyoung would have wished for a smile and a happy 'Sugartoast' coming from Mark, the way he have heard it a few times before. But he got none of it. Instead he got a rather unemotional greeting and a straight face. Maybe the still lingering surprise is at fault. Or maybe Mark hates his dumb ass for showing up out of nowhere in front of his apartment. Whatever it is, Jinyoung's bubbling nervousness almost tears his stomach apart.

“I'm dropping by?”

“You come over unannounced.” It's a simple observation, a matter-of-factly one at that.

With feigned lightheartedness, he explains himself while he tries to not have a meltdown under Mark's strong gaze. “I don't have your phone number, so there was no way to reach you beforehand. What was I supposed to do?”

“Not coming over.”

Jinyoung regrets, immediately and immensely. He considers the breakfast time which they recently spent together as a fairly sweet one, so the naive fool in him expected a friendlier reaction from Mark. And now he just wants to run. “Fine, I leave.”

He is in the midst of turning around when he feels a determined grip around his wrist, only for a moment, only as long as it would take to stop him from leaving.

“Sugartoast, just come in,” Mark says, his eyes and voice softer now. A small sigh of relief falls from Jinyoung's lips as well as a heavy tension off his shoulders.

“I brought ice cream,” Jinyoung says in his most cheery voice, raising the ice cream tub next to his face and smiles brightly.

“Uuuh okay… I’m not really into ice cream though.”

“Oh god, just say you hate me and go,” Jinyoung whines. His emotions are riding the rollercoaster of their lives in front of Mark's apartment.

“It's my apartment so...”

“Fine, I go.” Jinyoung is again about to turn around when Mark holds him by his wrist another time. This time his fingers remain wrapped around it.

“No need to. How about you're enjoying your ice cream without me but inside my apartment. Deal?”

“How is it even possible that you're not into ice cream? Why am I standing in front of the only person on earth who isn't into ice cream?”

“It's not that deep. I just think it tastes like overly sweet slime,” he explains and sticks out his tongue.

“Monster!”

At that Mark starts to snicker. And this brings a smile to Jinyoung's face, too. “Just come in, Sugartoast.” And with this Mark pulls him inside.

He lets go of his wrist right away so that Jinyoung can take off his shoes in the small hallway.

“And why are you really here?”

“I need some advice for life.”

“From me?” Mark squeaks. This surprises Jinyoung as much as his request surprised Mark.

“Yes.”

“Good luck with that.” Mark makes a funny face before he turns around to walk into the living room. Jinyoung follows him but stops dead in his tracks as soon as he enters.

“Hey, there's a piano,” Jinyoung says and points at the white piano in the far corner of the room.

“And?” Mark asks, fixing him with a quizzical look.

“You have a piano now?”

“Sugartoast, it's always been there. You didn't notice before?”

“What? Uhm..... no. Are you sure?”

“Yes, I think I can remember my own furniture. And you are really telling me that you were here twice before and didn't notice this very prominent piano?”

“I SAID NO, OKAY?” Jinyoung blurts out.

“Wow... I'm surprised in the worst way possible,” Mark chuckles.

“Shut up. Your apartment is just too big,” he grumbles.

“It's still just an apartment, not a countryside villa. You honestly should work on your perceptiveness.” He still snickers. He is lucky that he's cute.

“Can you play something?”

“No.”

“No? You can't play?”

“Yes, I can play but no, I don't feel like doing it now and your ice cream is melting. Just sit down. I'm going to get you a spoon.”

Mark disappears into the kitchen while Jinyoung slowly makes his way over to the couch. It's so weird that he didn't notice the piano. Admittedly, it was okay during the party but at the very least last time while Mark fucked him against the wall, he should have detected it. On the other hand, he had quite different things in mind while Mark fucked him against the wall. Damn him for being so distracting as a person that Jinyoung can't even take in his surroundings properly anymore.

“Here you go, Sugartoast,” Mark says and passes him the promised spoon while he also takes a seat on the couch. “What flavor is it?”

“Vanilla caramel brownie. Wanna try?” Jinyoung asks after having the first spoon full of cold sweetness. “I promise it tastes like frosty paradise,” he tries to persuade.

“Nah, just enjoy by yourself. How are you doing, Sugartoast?”

“Fine, I guess.”

“How very convincing,” Mark scoffs.

“Well, I have my ups and downs but I'm okay in general,” Jinyoung says before eating another spoonful of ice cream. “You really know how to play piano, right? It's not just decoration, riiiiight?”

“It would be hell of big decorative element.”

“I wouldn't put it past you.”

“Wow, thank you, Sugartoast. You're feisty today again? I start to think that this is your default state by now,” Mark laughs.

“So what?” Jinyoung huffs. “Also my question, you didn't answer it properly.”

“Sorry. Yes, I know how to play piano. I swear,” Mark says with a smile on his lips and an expression gracing his face which seems to be rather dreamily. “Give me your phone.”

“My... phone?”

“Yes, I give you my number and you will give me yours.” Mark takes his phone and slides his own mobile phone towards him. The blond finishes quickly and gives the device back to its owner. When Jinyoung looks at his contact list he's a bit stunned to see the new number saved under 'Mark'.

“What is it? Don't tell me you're actually disappointed that I saved my number like a proper human.”

“I really am a little bit.”

“Okay, give it back,” Mark sighs, but there's a mischievous glint flaring in his eyes. “Second chance.” Mark makes some changes and soon hands the phone back to him.

When Jinyoung now looks up his contact details, he sees the number saved under 'Mark HARDER HARDER'. Jinyoung immediately bursts into laughter.

“Better, right?”

“Yes,” Jinyoung giggles.

“It was either that one or 'Mark, I will slaughter you' but I decided against it because it was not as romantic as 'Mark HARDER HARDER'.”

Jinyoung just can't stop laughing. That's it. He will die from laughing too much and somebody has to tell his family and friends. Luckily his laughing fit is nothing he has to undergo by himself. Mark is bitten by the laughing bug and starts to snicker louder the more Jinyoung laughs.

“I'm glad I'm this entertaining,” he chuckles while he retrieves his phone from Jinyoung and scrolls through his contacts.

“Oh you have to look-”

“S like Sugartoast. I got you. I would have been disappointed, if you would have saved it any other way.”

“Of course,” Jinyoung scoffs and rolls his eyes playfully. “Are you sure you don’t want to try?” Jinyoung says and holds out the ice cream tub to Mark. “It’s the expensive stuff. The really expensive and tasty stuff.”

“I can’t believe you’re guilt tripping me into ice cream.”

“Just a suggestion.” Jinyoung tries to flash his most charming smirk.

“A persistent one. Fine, I will try.”

“Yay,” Jinyoung cheers and tries to pass him the tub and spoon. But Mark only shakes his head and nods towards the spoon. Jinyoung clicks his tongue, trying to act annoyed but the smile which plays on his lips gives him away quickly. He digs the spoon into the ice cream and prepares a small portion for the blond. Eventually he holds the spoon out to feed Mark. The latter slowly comes closer but when he's about to accept the spoon, he quickly dodges it and goes straight for Jinyoung's lips.

Stunned by the sudden action, Jinyoung doesn't move. He still holds out the spoon while Mark gently nips on his lips. Jinyoung eventually closes his eyes as Mark lingers in front of him. There comes another small but tender kiss, followed by his tongue which explores Jinyoung's lips with kitten licks. Then there is one more soft press to his mouth before the blond pulls away completely.

When Jinyoung opens his eyes next, he spots Mark licking his own lips, his face focused. “Yeah, it's not that bad to be honest.” Jinyoung still only looks at him wide-eyed before Mark approaches the spoon again and finally accepts the prepared ice cream. “Okay. No, this is still terrible,” he comments and pulls a face.

“W-What? You just said it's not bad.”

“Apparently it's only bearable when I can lick it off your cold lips, Sugartoast. And maybe it's not the ice cream which is tasty. Maybe it's just you.”

Jinyoung hopes he's not blushing even though he feels very much like it. But he tries to play it down. “Now this is _very_ blatant flirting.”

“It's just the truth, Sugartoast,” he says, smiling, before he leans in another time to gently slide his lips over Jinyoung's. The coldness mixed with the sensation of Mark's touch feels very new and special. Special enough to send a battalion of rambunctious butterflies through his insides.

Mark pulls away again and smiles at him, a very sweet and boyish smile. “Sorry, I'm distracting you and the ice cream is melting.”

“It's... fine,” Jinyoung says feebly, still surprised by the kisses in general but also by the tenderness in them. Fuck the melting ice cream, he thinks. When he can have kisses like these, who needs ice cream?!

“No, you're here for a reason and I am distracting you. That wasn't my intention. So you need some advice you said? I try to help but I can't promise any success.”

Jinyoung hesitates, and even he himself is not sure why. Maybe he thinks it’s a bit unfair to reveal information about Jackson’s crush to someone who is also Jackson's friend. He really wants advice but he doesn't want to gossip about Jackson's private matters. On the other hand, Mark and Jackson have known each other for much longer and he's sure Mark knows a lot more embarrassing stuff about him. Or maybe the reason why Jinyoung is suddenly reluctant to spill the beans is that he wants to low-key prolong his stay at Mark's apartment. Not very likely, but maybe.

“Jackson said the two of you had sex once before,” Jinyoung blurts out without much thinking.

It's actually funny, the way Mark's eyebrows shoot up and his mouth falls slightly open. Jinyoung can't deny the fact that he enjoys putting him of his stride for once. But Mark wouldn't be his three-quarter-god-self if he wouldn't regain his composure as quickly as he lost it.

“You want to have advice about _that_?”

“No, I don't. It's just that he mentioned it.”

“I can't believe he told you about that,” Mark scoffs. He's smiling while he slightly shakes his head.

“He did. And he warned me that you are freaky in bed. I already knew by then, though.”

“Oh wow... I have to tell you something about that,” Mark quickly butts in, looking more amused than anything else. “This happened a long time ago. We were teens and just had our first sexual experiences here and there. Then we decided to just try it with each other and..... it was hilarious. We were both so nervous, but he was _especially _flustered. I remember he was shaking like a leaf. In the end he fell off my lap when he tried to ride me, that idiot. I can't believe that he tells you I'm a freak just because of that. How hurt is his ego?” Mark laughs.

Jinyoung blinks at him for a couple of seconds. Was that the reason why Jackson hated it when Jinyoung brought the issue up? “I try to immediately forget the mental image of that. And I have to tell you, he's right. _You are_ freaky in bed.”

“I won't deny that. But the thing is, Jackson doesn't really know it. I was too young to be freaky back then. He and I, that was the silliest fuck show you can imagine and that's the reason why his name is our safe word.” Mark still seems to be greatly entertained by his memories and Jackson's still lasting sulkiness about the events.

Jinyoung nods. That might make sense now.

“So what was it that you came here for?”

He still isn't ready to answer that. So he starts to mindlessly babble about the differences in normal kiwifruits and golden kiwifruits and how he thinks it's not at all worth it to invest in the golden kiwifruits because the taste doesn't make up for the higher price. It's a 10-minute discourse. Mark listens until he has finished his monologue and nods.

“Sugartoast, I don't think you especially came here to talk about the pros and cons of kiwifruits. Though I enjoyed your detailed report about it. But you seem to not want to tell me what troubles you for real. And that's fine. You don't need to. But maybe you want to think about it once more while we're doing something else. I have a proposition to make.”

Jinyoung looks at him with curious eyes. Like always he has no idea what Mark Tuan is up to.

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

“You're crazy,” Jinyoung exclaims. Mark guided him into his bedroom before he uttered his request, and now Jinyoung stands in the middle of it while he stares at Mark in disbelief.

“I'm not.”

“I won’t do it.”

“Come on, Sugartoast.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“There are so many reasons but the prime cause is, this is embarrassing.”

“You seriously are still embarrassed in front of me after… _everything_?”

“This is another level of embarrassing,” Jinyoung argues.

“But I can tell that you would be so good at it. The best. You would be the best, Sugartoast.” Stupid Mark with his stupid enticing smile and his stupid attempts at persuasion.

“Why do you think I would do that?”

“Because I’m asking you nicely and you get a reward. You like cuddling, right?”

“H-How do you know that?” Jinyoung asks flabbergasted.

“I'm going to tell you later when we really will be cuddling. But you have to be a good boy for me first.” Stupid raspy voice and stupid promises of cuddling and stupid calling him a good boy. But truth to be told, Jinyoung is wavering. What kind of magic powers does this guy possess? This can't be just the usual magnetism. This must be more. It evolved. And Jinyoung can't really withstand well. “Sugartoast,” he purrs in his deep voice and the vibrations of it seem to travel all the way to Jinyoung's nerve endings. He has to close his eyes for a second to deal with the sensation. “I know it would be fun for both of us. I promise.”

And there goes all his resistance, pathetically crumbling to dust now. “Fine,” he breathes and sees how Mark's persuasive smirk is replaced by a full-blown smile.

“Good. Now undress.” Jinyoung swallows. His throat is getting tight. He starts to fidget as he watches how Mark takes a seat on the floor and leans his back against the bedroom wall. The blond looks at him with expectant eyes.

Jinyoung knows he won't get out of this anymore. He agreed to do it and something deep inside of him really wants to grant Mark's wish. So he slowly starts to take off his hoodie. But when he lets this piece of clothing drop down to the floor, he glances back at Mark and the boy once more confuses him.

“What… what are you doing?”

Mark takes his phone down for a moment and glances at the device before he returns Jinyoung's gaze. “Filming your performance.”

“What? Why?”

“Because it will be award-worthy. I just know it.” Stupid smile. Stupid smile! STUPID SMILE!

“I… I don’t think I want this. This makes it even more awkward.”

“Just for your information, I don't plan to do something nasty with it. I won't spread this or something. You have my word and you know I'm honest. It’s for my private pleasure only. With this, even when you're not with me, I still kind of have you with me. And it will bring me much joy,” he says, his tongue sliding over the row of his upper teeth. This is enough to send a shudder through Jinyoung's whole body. God, why is he so weak? Why does every single thing Mark does, affect him so much? He prays for help, since these few sentences were enough to already bring his dick to life in his pants. And maybe the image of Mark jerking off to his video is a good enough reason to agree and to already be turned on so much.

Jinyoung closes his eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath before he grasps the hem of his t-shirt to pull it over his head. Mark is smiling when he reactivates his mobile phone.

Now his upper body is fully exposed. He unbuttons his jeans. Mark's prying eyes are weighing on him, sending small waves of heat through his body, and Jinyoung is so embarrassed. He turns towards the wall and starts to wiggle out of his pants. He just can't bear to do this while facing Mark.

“I like that you want to showcase your best side in front of me,” Mark says, the amusement audible in his already slightly hoarse voice.

“W-What? No! That wasn't my intention at all!”

“But it is. If you could see what I see. Your ass, it's like quality porn. And the fact that I know how it tastes makes it even better.”

Jinyoung wants to die on the spot. But since this seems to be outside the realm of possibility right now, he just grumbles something under his breath as he eventually gets rid of his pants. And now what? He's still facing the wall, naked, except for his tight black boxer briefs.

“Oh Sugartoast, I can't wait to see this beautiful chubby butt of yours.” Jinyoung shivers again. Mark really knows how to push his sexual buttons. Damn. So with jittery fingers he reaches for the waistband of his underwear to pull it over his ass and down his legs.

“What a blessing,” Mark rasps. It seems like he's also not unaffected. He feels Mark's gaze like a beam of heat sliding over his backside. “I truly appreciate that view but.... now turn around, Sugartoast.” Another shiver makes it down Jinyoung's spine. His heart is racing in his chest. This is ridiculous. Mark has seen him naked more than once and in positions which are far from being innocent. It's simply ridiculous that he feels shy now but he just can't help it.

Another shaky breath, then he turns around. The first thing he sees are Mark's piercing eyes finding his. Then they travel down, roaming across his body and stop for a couple moments to marvel at Jinyoung's semi-hard shaft. Only then the phone in Mark's hand is noticed by him. He already forgot about it. But with this back in his mind he quickly plops down on the floor to lean against the wall opposite of Mark.

The nervousness which rebels through his body is almost unbearable. He only chances a glance at Mark here and there before his eyes return to search the floor for nothing in particular. Every time he looks over, his breath catches in his throat at the way Mark's eyes are raking over his body. He isn't sure how to proceed. In all honesty, he isn't sure what he's doing at all right now.

“Spread your legs. I want to see everything.” Jinyoung swallows down a lump in his throat, which probably never was there, for the hundredth time today. Mark's order has such an arousing effect on him, that it makes his dick twitching. He is obedient and opens his legs. After all, he agreed to this, so why not create a memorable experience for both of them?! So he lifts his head and meets Mark's vibrant eyes. His teeth are gnawing on his bottom lip as he stares back at Jinyoung. It feels like they would be sitting in the middle of hell, surrounded by menacing fires. But nothing is important. Being consumed by the flames is not important. Burning to death is not important. Only the other boy opposite him matters.

“Touch your chest,” Mark's deep voice demands.

Jinyoung lifts his hand and slowly lets his palm slide over his shoulder, fingertips dancing along his collarbone and down his chest, while he doesn't break eye contact even once.

“Play with your nipple.”

Jinyoung complies with Mark's wish again and pinches his little nub to hardness. A few shaky breaths are leaving his mouth. A tiny, choked moan follows. To his surprise Mark's breathing doesn't seem that stable either.

“You're doing awesome, Sugartoast. Now go down.” Jinyoung's fingers skim across his own stomach then linger on his lower abdomen. He now enjoys how Mark is observing every little one of his moves with hungry hawk's eyes. “Wait. Suck your fingers first.”

Jinyoung again grants him his wish. He puts on a show, licking slowly up and down his long fingers before he puts them into his mouth and sucks on them with hollowed cheeks. All of this, he does while he keeps looking at Mark. He doesn't care about the camera anymore. He much more cares about the way Mark is reacting to him. His eyes are burning with want, his breaths are coming out ragged and Jinyoung knows he has to hold himself back to not throw this damn phone away and attack him mercilessly.

Jinyoung is coating his fingers with so much saliva that he's probably dancing on the thin line between being seductive and being disgusting. But Mark seems to be entirely into it, and as long as this is the case, Jinyoung will keep dancing.

He pulls them out of his mouth to show Mark the result, a few drops of spit drip down and land on his thigh. Mark looks at his hand in awe for a few seconds before he nods. “Now start.” The blond doesn't need to get any more specific about it. Jinyoung knows what to do.

His hand moves down at a very slow pace. He revels in the way Mark's eyes are following his motions. And then finally he tentatively curls his wet fingers around his erection. Jinyoung's eyes flutter shut immediately at the sensation.

He starts to rhythmically stroke his shaft, enjoying the self-made bliss.

“Look at me,” is the next request. Mark's words aren't harsh but he makes clear what he wants. Again, Jinyoung complies. Something tugs in his stomach each time Mark's eyes meet his. Mark's dark eyes, glinting with hunger, make the situation so much more arousing than it already is. Nobody ever looked at him like this. Nobody ever desired him like this. And that sets free those little bursts of confidence which are so essential for Jinyoung's self esteem.

“Do you wish it was me? Do you wish that would be _my_ hands on you?” his insanely deep voice travels through the room. Stupid smirk, Jinyoung thinks once again.

“Shut up!” Just because he's the only one naked in the room doesn't mean that he has to lose his sass.

Mark huffs a hoarse laugh. “Someone's looking beautiful touching himself. Mmmhhhhh.” The melodious hum at the end almost finishes Jinyoung off.

“You sick bastard!” Jinyoung pants, still trying to hold onto his sanity.

“I like it when you give me pet names, Sugartoast.” His low laugh rumbles through the air and sends tingles through Jinyoung's veins. Once again he inwardly scolds himself that this boy affects him this much. So confused, he's so fucking confused all the time.

Jinyoung keeps pumping his hard cock. It's silly but he still wants to perform well in front of Mark's sharp eyes. The blond's laboured breathing only encourages him. He's obviously enjoying what he sees. Jinyoung flicks his wrist, thumb running over his slit making him twitch.

“Can you imagine it? Can you feel my hands on you? My fingers on your dick, making you feel good?” Jinyoung can imagine it too well. And his own actions combined with the alluring sound of Mark's voice and the vivid image in his head of Mark jerking him off, is just too much. He did so well until now, but the string of moans bubble up his throat without his permission.

The more he moans, the deeper and more intense become the noises which are falling from Mark's lips. Heat is spreading through Jinyoung's body as his leaking cock pulses in his grip. He barely can think straight anymore. Mark is looking at him as if he's only seconds away from pouncing on him. The hungry wildcat is getting impatient and Jinyoung feels a new kind of power in him. Mark wants him. He wants him so bad and Jinyoung knows it.

“Sugartoast,” he croaks, followed by a sensual moan. “You look so delicious, so fucking good, I want to fill you with my cum until you can't remember another dick anymore.”

And that's it. This statement pushes him into a holy orgasm which ruthlessly crashes into him. He comes all over his hand and stomach while he moans and whines Mark's name, as if this would be the one thing that keeps him grounded. He's trembling with rapture while he milks himself to complete emptiness.

When it's over he focuses on breathing precious air. He looks up, his half-lidded eyes finding Mark's. A weird mix of emotions plays on the blond's face. A bit like he would look at a beautiful unicorn, but the unicorn's magic is hurting him. Once again Jinyoung would give everything to know what goes on inside his head.

“I knew you would do an outstanding job, Sugartoast. I knew it. This was beautiful,” he gasps with a hint of desperation lacing his words.

His whole body is buzzing but Mark's vocal adoration intensifies this feeling even more. The voice of the blond sounds strained. His breathing is still a mess and his eyes are burning with desire.

Jinyoung quietly nods while he wipes his hand on his chest. Mark glances down at his own lap. When Jinyoung follows his gaze, he notices for the first time the huge boner in his pants. Their eyes meet again and Mark smiles.

“Come here, Sugartoast. I need you.” Without letting another second go by, he starts to move. “No, don't stand up. Crawl.”

This wasn't part of their deal but Jinyoung doesn't even think about rejecting him. Even his last bit of resistance broke with Mark's statement, which made him come. Something dark and lustful blazes in his eyes as he watches Jinyoung approaching on hands and knees.

When he arrives in front of him, Mark reaches out and strokes his fingers through Jinyoung's hair. “Such a good boy,” he coos. Jinyoung snuggles his head more into the touch. “Want to know a secret?” Mark whispers. “I am so hard for you. I didn't touch myself once. You were so good, I got hard only from watching you.” Jinyoung likes this fact a lot. “Do you want to help me out with this?”

Jinyoung wordlessly nods. Mark uses the hand in his hair to press Jinyoung's face down into his crotch to let him feel the hardness. “You did this to me, Sugartoast. Are you sure you can handle this?”

He lets go of Jinyoung's head so that the boy can nod again. Mark takes down his phone for the first time to unzip his pants and take his hard dick out of his underwear. As soon as he's done he grabs the phone again and holds it too close to Jinyoung's face.

Mark gently rakes his fingers through Jinyoung's hair again. “Your golden mouth can start,” he says with a smile.

So Jinyoung wraps his fingers around the base before he dips down to lick the already leaking head. Mark immediately starts to groan. It's the best thing Jinyoung ever heard. He knows it won't be much work, Mark is already too far gone. He gives the head a quick suck before he dips his tongue into the slit.

“Aaahh, Sugartoast,” Mark pants. Jinyoung pulls away for a moment to relish the taste of Mark on his tongue. He licks his lips to spread it, fully aware of Mark's lust-filled eyes on him. Then he takes him into his mouth completely, flattening his tongue against the underside. Mark releases a bunch of shaky breaths.

Jinyoung moves his head up and down his length. He detects a prominent vein on the throbbing cock and traces it with the tip of his tongue, applying pressure right where he knows it feels good.

Mark's groans get longer and deeper and the intensity impresses Jinyoung. His fingers gripping a fistful of Jinyoung's hair, as if to make sure that he wouldn't stop.

“Such a good boy for me,” Mark gasps. “The most beautiful boy, only for me.”

Jinyoung moans around his dick and Mark almost drops the phone. He pulls away a bit and shifts his focus back to the tip. He teases the slit in various ways and eventually notices how Mark's grip in his hair becomes firmer.

“Not a very good idea, Sugartoast,” Mark gently warns him. He doesn't want the teasing, he wants his release. And as sassy as Jinyoung can be, right now he wants to give Mark what he desires.

So he goes back down on his shaft, like the good boy Mark praised him to be. But the blond snaps his hips without any warning, which has Jinyoung gurgling around his dick. “Fuck yes! Fuck!” Mark groans as his tip hits the back of Jinyoung's throat. The blond takes the reins and just keeps rutting into his mouth while he holds Jinyoung's head in place. When Mark goes especially deep down his throat, Jinyoung's nose meets the soft skin of Mark's lower abdomen. He feels tears pricking his eyes. But thinking about how much Mark loves his tears, he doesn't even try to blink them away. It's not that Jinyoung can't handle Mark's dick, nor that he finds this situation particularly uncomfortable. No, it's just a reaction of his body which his mind can't control. His tears don't know that Jinyoung is ready to give everything which can put Mark in such a state of bliss, like he is in now.

“God Sugartoast, pure gold. You're pure gold.” His voice is wavering already from his approaching orgasm. But this statement encourages Jinyoung to purr around his shaft, sending the vibrations right through Mark's pulsing dick.

It doesn't take long until Mark comes undone in his mouth. With an angry growl he releases into Jinyoung. He is quick to catch everything which Mark has to offer, greedy to not let anything, which is his, go to waste. When Mark slowly climbs down from his high, he pulls out between Jinyoung's lips. Exhausted, he lets the phone slowly sink down and drops it to his side. His other hand relaxes and now releases Jinyoung's hair.

Jinyoung's arms and knees are trembling from the strain and he breaks down into Mark's lap. He is dazed and also exhausted. He considers the taste of Mark's cum on his tongue. It's good, because it's Mark's. Funny enough, right now Jinyoung truly can't remember anyone else he fucked with before. He knows there were plenty of boys but they are only some hazy piles of shadows in his mind. The only striking and vibrant existence in his thoughts is Mark.

When the blond is done recovering from his climax, Jinyoung feels his fingers in his hair again. “You're so quiet, Sugartoast. Is everything okay?” His voice is soft, much gentler now. Jinyoung's head rests on his thigh but he still manages a small nod.

“Tears,” Mark points out. It's only a short word but Jinyoung is able to hear the fascination in his voice. Mark wipes them with the tip of his finger. Without lifting his head, Jinyoung looks up at him and witnesses Mark licking them off his fingertip. He repeats this twice until all the wetness is gone from Jinyoung's face. Jinyoung actually enjoys this kind of care, even if it's weird.

“Look at you, curling up on my lap like a little cat,” Mark coos and his soft smile almost hurts Jinyoung.

“I am not.” He presses his face further into the boy's thigh.

“Sure you are, my little Sugarcat. You look so cute. Can you purr for me?”

“Well... me-ow,” Jinyoung utters listlessly. The haziness slowly fades and he returns to be his usual self.

“That was.... unique at least,” Mark snickers. “What do you think about a collar, little Sugarcat? Would you like that?”

“No, dumbass.”

Mark answers in his annoying high pitched voice. “What an unruly kitty. I think you need a collar and some rules.”

If somebody needs a collar and a lesson in manners, it is this wildcat of a boy which currently smiles down at him, Jinyoung thinks.

“Don't glare at me like that,” Mark laughs and pats Jinyoung's head tenderly. “You know, I just say we could try things. You don't have to like everything. If you decide it's not your cup of tea, we just leave it be and won't do it again.”

The way Mark naturally assumes that there always will be a next time makes Jinyoung's heart swell in his chest. They never discussed this before but Jinyoung is more than okay with this assumption.

“Maybe a collar would be worth a try,” he murmurs. “Sometime in the future.”

Mark snickers. “In the future? Not now?”

“No! Just no. Damn! I want my cuddles. I deserve my reward,” Jinyoung insists.

“That's true,” Mark says softly. “You are such a good boy. You did so well, Sugartoast. You earned your cuddles.”

“And kisses. I also want kisses.”

“These are things, I can definitely provide. Come here.” Mark cups Jinyoung's face and lifts his head a bit before he leans down to place a tender kiss on his lips.

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

Now Jinyoung can enjoy his reward. He put his boxer briefs back on and demanded from Mark to take everything else off, until he also was only dressed in his underwear. Jinyoung made clear that he likes cuddling the most when there's as less fabric as possible involved. Though underwear is a must with the both of them, for safety reasons. Without underwear they would have sex after two seconds again and Jinyoung insisted that this can't happen because he really wants his reward.

Mark only snickered and complied with everything Jinyoung said.

Now they're lying in Mark's cozy bed. The blond is on his back, Jinyoung's head is snuggled against his shoulder, one arm draped over his stomach and one leg in between Mark's legs, so that he lies half on top of the other boy.

One of Mark's palms is on his upper arm, squeezing his biceps. The other hand found Jinyoung's ass. Mark is absentmindedly playing with it, stroking over the boxer brief-clad butt cheeks and occasionally slips his hand inside to caress and knead the plump roundness without annoying fabric in the way. Sometimes a finger or two wander between his butt cheeks, but never as far as to Jinyoung's entrance.

If Jinyoung really would be a cat, he'd be a purring mess by now.

“You’re good at this. Cuddling I mean.”

“I know. I love cuddling.”

“What?” Jinyoung snaps and looks up at Mark. “Then why did you make me do unspeakable things before giving me a cuddle session?”

“Because I obviously wanted to see you doing unspeakable things, and that video, I really wanted that video….. and cuddling as well. Win win win.”

“Bastard! You tricked me.”

Mark laughs at Jinyoung's scandalized reaction. It's a tiny laugh but Jinyoung feels the rumbling in Mark's chest. He snuggles a bit closer. “Not really. I never said I would dislike cuddling. I just happened to know that you're a sucker for it, so yeah, maybe I made use of it.”

“How do you actually know? I can't remember a conversation including this subject.”

“Sugartoast, during every night we spent together so far, you were almost koalaing me to breathlessness.”

“What... really? I can't remember. The first time-”

“I peeled you off me when I woke up. Then I got dressed and poked you awake.”

“Okay, but the second-”

“I was awake before you as well.” That's true. Jinyoung remembers how Mark was already up, cleaning his apartment before he kicked him out.

“True. And the third time you were taking a shower when I woke up.”

“Correct. But every single night you were hugging the shit out of me. But as I told you, I like cuddling so Sugartoast-Koala was a nice discovery.”

So yes, Jinyoung was sleeping. That makes sense. But Mark wasn't?

“That supports my theory that you're a vampire,” Jinyoung declares and lifts his head a little to send Mark a suspicious look.

“What? How?” Mark asks in amused amazement.

“You don't sleep.”

“I _do_ sleep.”

“Then explain why I never saw you sleeping? Why are you always waking up earlier than me?”

“I don't need as much sleep as you?”

“Rejected. Try again.”

“Sugartoast, I _am _human. I promise,” Mark snickers.

“That doesn't make any sense. _You_ don't make sense.”

“Me being human doesn't make any sense? Never heard a greater compliment,” Mark huffs playfully.

“Why don't you sleep?” Jinyoung persists. Something is off here. Okay, Mark might not be a vampire (though he doesn't dismiss the theory entirely yet), but something is not right.

Mark sighs. “I told you, I do sleep. Just not as much as you. What can I do when I lie awake at night, trying to figure out all of your kinks one by one?”

“Excuse me, _my_ kinks? You're like the king of kinks. King Kink. No wait, this nickname gives me headaches, but you get it, right?”

“Oooooh Sugartoast, I don't think I can rival you kink-wise.” He says that in an annoying singsong voice with an annoying sweet smile on his annoying plushy lips.

“Okay, let me start with your weird, vampirey biting kink. And there's also your disturbing tears kink.”

“Disturbing,” Mark quietly repeats. A huffed laugh follows shortly.

“And I'm pretty sure you're about to develop an ass kink,” Jinyoung points out, accompanied by a smug smile. Mark's hand currently is in his boxer briefs and after Jinyoung's statement his palm goes from caressing his but cheek to giving it a firm squeeze.

“To be fair, this kink only applies to _your_ ass because, wow have you seen it?” Jinyoung looks up at him shyly. Sure, he heard a few times already that his butt is outstandingly good, but somehow hearing Mark acknowledging it, is different. It's better. A weird warmth spreads in his chest when Mark's amused eyes meet his. “Your ass is a generally valid reason to get out of bed every morning,” the blond marvels.

“Mark!” Jinyoung snickers.

“I mean it. It's a gift from heaven. You should be thankful to be able to carry around this luxury ass throughout your whole life. Such a blessing for you and everyone who is allowed to put their hands on it.”

“Yes, I am thankful and _you_ are welcome.” Jinyoung smiles at him impishly until he feels Mark's fingertip poking his entrance. He gasps in surprise before he slaps Mark's chest. “Behave!”

Mark giggles, high-pitched and sweet. Next second, his hand is back at softly tracing around the plush mounds of Jinyoung's butt. “Thank you for sharing your blessings with me, Sugartoast.” He leans down to press his lips to Jinyoung's forehead for a short moment. “Though the kink discussion is not over yet. What about _your_ countless kinks?”

“Countless? Maybe one or two but-”

“Let's start with your cuddle kink, followed by your obvious screaming kink during sex. In addition there is your preference for using insults-”

“Only if you deserve it though,” Jinyoung mutters sulkily and flashes him a pout.

“Doesn't matter. It's a kink and therefore another point added to the grand kink chart. Then there is your neck kink. Damn Sugartoast, your neck kink is huge.”

“Your neck is also huge. We match pretty well,” Jinyoung cheers, his pout suddenly replaced by a beaming smile. Mark throws his head back into the pillow as he laughs. His neck is temptingly exposed like that but Jinyoung tries to contain himself. It's still cuddle time after all. Though he thinks to press a few light kisses to the base of it wouldn't hurt. Mark just lets him do it without commenting further on it.

“Also you have a praise kink. I found out about it during our first night already.”

“Huh, possible,” Jinyoung lets on. He never thought about this but it might be true.

“And last but not least, I'm sure you have a rubbing kink.”

“What is this supposed to be?”

“You're literally rubbing yourself on me right now,” Mark laughs. Now that he says it, maybe Jinyoung is rubbing his crotch on Mark's thigh, only lightly though, and while being entirely unaware of it.

“I just like to rub myself on good stuff. What about it?” Jinyoung says and presses his pouty lips to Mark's collarbone.

“Nothing is wrong with it. Don't misunderstand my observations. These are your kinks but I don't dislike them. I just want you to be aware that maybe you deserved the title King of Kinks more than I do.”

“Fine, it's possible,” he huffs.

“And I can't wait to find even more.”

“There are more?” Jinyoung asks and looks back up with round eyes.

“Not sure yet, but I suspect something.”

“What is it?”

“Not gonna tell you yet. Let me find out about your kink properly before I tell you..... about _your _kink,” he snickers. “Amazing that you don't know all of them yourself.” Seems like he has the time of his life here. But Jinyoung isn't suffering either. He eventually abandons his plan and starts to lick over a faint bruise on Mark's neck.

“Hey Sugartoast?”

“Mhhh?”

“Did you really come here to get some advice?”

Oh yeah, Jinyoung thinks, there was that. The captivating presence of Mark Tuan almost let him forget that he initially came here to discuss something which he couldn't discuss with his close friends.

Regretfully, he takes his lips off Mark and moves away a little, placing his head on Mark's upper arm so that it's easier to look at him.

“Yes, I did. It takes some explanation though.”

“I have time right now. Also it's not like you're usually short of words,” Mark mocks.

“Right,” Jinyoung playfully huffs. Mark is allowed to say this. At least he always listens to his ramblings. “So I have this best friend. His name is Jaebum and we're friends since I can remember. Well actually we're more than friends, we're soulmates.”

“Are you bragging right now?” Mark looks down at him with raised eyebrows.

“No! I just try to explain the situation. It's important to know. We're soulmates.”

“Soulmates. Got it.”

“We went everywhere together, including high school. Jackson went to the same high school but we weren't close back then. I only started to hang out with him more in college. Meanwhile Jaebum-”

“The soulmate.”

“Yes, Jaebum went to another college.”

“And now you miss him.”

“No. That's not-”

“You don't miss your soulmate? Wow. What a sucky soulmate relationship.”

“Mark! That's not the point here. Stop with this.”

“Alright Sugartoast, go on.” The boyish grin on his face says differently but still Jinyoung continues.

“Okay, so I'm still super close with Jaebum-”

“The soulmate.”

“Shut up! I'm also close with Jackson now. But they never were close. Now Jackson tells me that he spotted Jaebum somewhere around town and suddenly he remembers that he always had the hots for him but was too shy to ask him out in high school.”

“Too shy? Jackson?” Mark questions stunned. “Just how good-looking is your soulmate exactly?”

“_Very._ The thing is now, Jackson wants me to set him up with Jaebum. Like he wants me to ask him what he would think about dating him and stuff.”

“Okay. And?”

Jinyoung heaves a deep sigh. “Okay, let's do a quick roundup of Jackson and his attitude towards relationships. You know him as well. He's famous for his one-night stands. He's taking people home like others take home groceries. He sleeps around, just like you.”

“Excuse me _what_?” Mark looks at him more flabbergasted than Jinyoung ever saw him before.

“He sleeps around?” Jinyoung repeats, looking at Mark quizzically.

“No, I mean.... who says_ I _sleep around?”

“Jackson. He says you're a fuckboy.”

“He _what_?” Now Mark looks outright scandalized.

“Are you angry at him because he disclosed this fact about you?” Jinyoung asks cautiously.

“I'm not angry,” he murmurs and furrows his brow. “I'm rather a bit surprised. I mean he maybe could have said this before but-”

“Before what?”

“Uhm..... I mean when I was younger. Maybe I overdid it a bit at first but these times are long gone.” This answer isn't satisfying at all. Jinyoung is sure that there is more. He's sure that this has something to do with the big mystery which surrounds the boy next to him.

“Is there something else? I mean something that happened and I maybe should know about?”

“No, I was a dumb teen. Nothing's up with that.”

Jackson told him to ask Mark directly about it but now it seems like the boy in question doesn't want to share any intel about his past. Jinyoung makes a mental note to try getting more out of him at a later time.

“Okay, but why would Jackson say this about you when it's not true?”

“I would like to know. I mean, I kiss a lot.”

“I noticed,” Jinyoung grumbles.

“But flirting and making out is not fucking.” There's this pensive expression on his face. It's the millionth time Jinyoung wishes he could read his mind. He would give so much to be able to have a look into his thoughts for only one day.

But does that mean that Mark isn't the fuckboy Jinyoung thought he was? Does that mean Mark is only sleeping with him these days? But even if this might be the case, Jinyoung knows he should stay realistic. Mark is kissing and flirting with different boys frequently, so he's far from being faithful. And what does Jinyoung even want? Has he any right to demand faithfulness from Mark? Does he need him to be faithful? Does he want Mark to be his boyfriend? Hardly. Right? These questions are difficult to answer when the other boy keeps confusing him so much. But Jinyoung knows he should think about all of this some time.

“Anyway,” Mark pipes up. “I think, I will talk with Jackson about this. But we got off topic. We established that Jaebum is your soulmate and Jackson fucks a lot of different guys. Go on.”

Jinyoung tries to block out all these newly intruding questions about his own motives to focus on the initial issue.

“Jaebum always reminds me of a river deep in the woods, quietly and steadily flowing past every obstacle. He's a calm person who gives great advice. Somebody who represents structure and reason, in my opinion. All those qualities are amazing and also help to keep me on the right track. Probably unknowingly, Jaebum helped me through so many difficult situations and decisions, maybe more than I can even remember. I don't know where I would be at this point in life without his ongoing support.” Jinyoung notices Mark's small nod and goes on. “And then there's Jackson. He's like the exact opposite. He is loud and fun and wild. He lives for the moment and rarely cares much about consequences. It's always an adventure with him but also a high risk to end up in a situations in which you not necessarily want to end up in. Believe me, I experienced already a lot with him,” he quietly snickers. “They are both important to me and their differences make my life incredibly interesting these days. But that doesn't mean that it would be a good idea to bring them together.”

“Hmmmm,” Mark hums and takes a little break before he continues. “But maybe they would be good for each other. Maybe because of those differences, they would complement each other.”

“Are you out of your mind?” Jinyoung squeaks and moves a bit away from Mark to be able to see his face without having to look up at him the entire time. In the process he untangles their legs and Mark's hands slide off his body.

“Just grant Jackson his wish. You know he is a kind soul. What's the worst thing that could happen?” Mark asks, still very relaxed.

“That Jackson and Jaebum get together and Jackson changes his mind and leaves my best friend behind as a broken human?”

“That's a bit dramatic. I understand that you might be worried about your best friend, but he's not a kid anymore and his decisions are not your responsibilities. Just ask him what he thinks about meeting with Jackson and see what happens.”

“But if I don't give them the opportunity to meet, I could prevent great heartbreak.”

“Or you could prevent a great love.”

“Hmpf,” Jinyoung huffs and childishly crosses his arms on his chest. He doesn't want to hear that kind of advice.

“Just let them figure stuff out on their own. Maybe Jaebum is not even interested in Jackson. Or maybe Jackson is truly head over heels for him and won't even think about another guy in his entire life anymore.”

“Not very likely. It will all end in tears. This whole thing is a recipe for disaster,” Jinyoung snaps.

“Can you chill?” Mark asks him with raised eyebrows.

“Can _you_ understand my point?” Jinyoung grouses.

“I _do_ understand. But obviously our opinions are different.”

“How can you not understand that this is bound to break off friendships?”

“Aaaaaah, now I understand,” Mark exclaims but the expression on his face doesn't look understanding at all.

“What?”

“Your approach to this whole thing is entirely selfish.”

“WHAT?” Jinyoung yells in surprise and sits up in bed.

Mark follows suit before he continues. “Look,” Mark starts, still surprisingly calm for being in the middle of a fight. “You don't want to share your soulmate with anybody. And you also don't want to risk losing your fun friend all of the sudden.”

“What.... what are you even saying?” Jinyoung questions, confused.

“I mean that in case they become a real couple, they will probably focus on each other a lot. Much more than they will focus on you, most probably. You're scared of losing them. You don't want to fall by the wayside. And that's fair enough. It's human nature,” Mark explains like it is the most self evident thing on earth. He offers a tiny shrug while he searches Jinyoung's face. But Jinyoung just can't remain calm after Mark made those outrageous accusations.

“This is.... this is ridiculous! You don't understand anything. You don't understand _me_!” Jinyoung spits before he crawls out of bed.

“Where are you going?” Mark asks, finally seeming a little alarmed.

“Home!” he snorts as he puts his clothes back on. “We obviously can't have a sensible conversation.”

“Of course we can. I think it was very sensible.”

“Well, I don't!” Jinyoung grabs his few belongings and storms out of the bedroom. On his way to the apartment door he hears Mark calling after him.

“Hey Jinyoung, come on. JINYOUNG?”

But he doesn't want to come on and he doesn't want to carry on this idiotic conversation with dumb Mark Tuan who has no idea about anything. The audacity to imply that Jinyoung's motives are selfish when all he wants to do is protecting his best friend. No, he can't simply forgive this offense. With a loud bang he slams the apartment door shut and stomps down the stairs. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeey, how about sharing your opinions with me? I really would like to read them. :)


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, welcome to the longest chapter I have ever written. I'm crazy because I wrote this. You're crazy because you're reading this. Seriously, markjin shippers..... such a wild bunch. ヽ(^。^)ノ

Four days. Jinyoung spent the last four days mulling over the discussion he had with Mark. It took a great effort to even focus on other things occasionally, like his courses for example. When he went to Mark for advice, he hoped to only get his approval so he could go on and live happily with his opinion in his little bubble. But Mark and his so very different views on things made this bubble pop. And even though Jinyoung disliked to be pushed out of his mental comfort zone at first, he can't stop thinking about Mark's approach to this special issue.

Maybe there was a tiny bit of truth in his words. Still, Jinyoung's main motive is that he doesn't want to witness how his best friend is getting hurt. But Mark might have been right to some extent as well. Jinyoung enjoys Jaebum's attention very much. He loves that he always can pop in for a good conversation. He also loves that he can spend his leisure time with Jaebum even if there's nothing to talk about in particular. The thought of having to share his best friend with someone scares him, even though he knows that somebody as gorgeous as Jaebum isn't made to stay single for his whole life.

Also Jinyoung spends so much time with Jackson these days, it's crazy how big of a presence he became in his life in such a short time. He loves the fact that Jackson makes so much time for him despite being acquainted with an insane number of people. Sure, Jackson is annoying at times but he knows Jinyoung so well and accepts every part of him. Also he is aware that he himself isn't that easy to get along with sometimes. But him and Jackson, they are a good team. They understand each other and bickering is so much fun.

What is he going to do if Jaebum and Jackson would hit it off and their focus would shift from him to each other?! A scary thought. And the more he thinks about how scary it is, the more Mark's words evolve from an audacious accusation to a truthful appraisal. As much as Jinyoung hates it, he can't deny it much longer.

But what will he do? Would he create the chance for Jaebum and Jackson to get closer or would he prevent that possibility due to selfish reasons? Mark said they could become happy together.

Yes, Mark said that. Mark. Thinking about Mark hurts him. He's hurting for four days now.

In the last corner of his mind, where sincerity wins out over his pride and stubbornness, he knows that he misses Mark incredibly much. It's not that they met up on a regular basis before. No, not at all. But now they are fighting which makes it unpredictable to know when or even if they will see each other again. This makes the pain greater.

He misses all the details of Mark, like his voice, his laugh, the way he says 'Sugartoast', the moments when he breaks into a full-blown smile, the way his eyes look at Jinyoung as if they would do a MRI scan of him, his smell, his touches, his daring statements, every little thing. And the sex, he can't deny that he misses this mind-blowing, thrilling sex. Every guy who would come after Mark is bound to disappoint Jinyoung in bed. He's sure about that.

“Jinyoung? Are you okay? You've been strangely quiet. Usually I wouldn't complain about you shutting up for once but this is getting creepy.” Jinyoung, who's currently lying on Jackson's bed, turns his head to the side to look at his worried friend. If he remembers correctly, Jackson was taking selfies a while ago, posing on the floor and doing, what probably should have been seductive facial expressions. Jinyoung chooses not to ask what these kind of pics are for.

“Can one be addicted to another person?”

The surprise on Jackson's face only lasts for a second before he answers. “Yeah, it’s called love, Jinyoung.”

“Shut the fuck up! That can’t be it!”

Jackson sighs and purses his lips. “Wild guess, is this about Mark?” Jinyoung simply nods. When he looks back at Jackson, his eyes get a little watery against his will. He doesn't know why he suddenly feels like crying but he tries to fight back that onslaught of emotions. “What is this with the two of you? What are you?”

Jinyoung doesn't have an adequate answer to those questions. He knows he needs to start thinking about the situation. What is it that he even wants from Mark? He certainly wants his body. He wants everything physical which can sedate his racing mind. But does he want more than this? Does he want Mark as a person? And if he wants Mark as a person, as a partner in a relationship, would that ever work? Aren't they too different? Aren't they fighting too much? And what in the world does Mark want? Thinking about it, Jinyoung never has the slightest clue about the things Mark wants. He doesn't know what the blond thinks about him or about their time together or if he has any feelings for Jinyoung at all. In sudden terror, Jinyoung realizes how unsettled this makes him feel.

“I don't know,” Jinyoung whispers. Jackson crawls a little closer. He's seated on the floor right next to his bed now. Jinyoung rolls over so that he's lying on his side and is able to look at his friend without hurting his neck. “I don't know what he's thinking, Jackson. I just don't know. And it scares me. But it also kind of draws me in. I want to find out what makes him tick. I want to be able to look at him and know what goes on inside his head. It's like every time I meet him I learn a bit more about him. But then he does something unexpected again and I'm confused all anew.”

“The fact that you put yourself through all of this voluntarily....” Jackson sighs and shakes his head.

“I can't help it.”

“Sometimes I pity you, Jinyoung. So many thoughts, so few conclusions.”

“I can't help that either. I know I should just give up but..... I really think I'm addicted to him.”

“But you seem miserable.”

“We're fighting a lot. We're in a fight right now.”

“Do you do make up sex?”

“Yeah.” They have sex all of the time. To only limit this to make up sex is silly but Jinyoung doesn't want to elaborate on this now.

“Is it good?”

“Our sex is breathtaking in general.”

“Then I wouldn't mind the fighting,” he says and shrugs a little.

“That..... Jackson! Sex and having a good relationship aren't the same thing,” Jinyoung scolds.

“You are not in a relationship though.”

“Thanks for reminding me, asshead!” His despair turned into anger quickly. He really has no control over his emotions these days.

“And where does this relationship talk even come from? You want him as a boyfriend now? You said you are just sleeping with him and suddenly you're talking about relationships?”

“I'm talking about _the potential_ to have a relationship with him. And right now I don't see it. A relationship should be calm and balanced. But we are..... we are war.”

Jackson rolls his eyes. “Too dramatic, Jinyoung.”

“We are waves which crash into each other all of the time.”

“Better.”

“Chaos. We are chaos. A relationship shouldn't be chaos. I should just walk away from him,” Jinyoung quickly announces.

“But you're addicted, you said. You can't walk away.”

“Right, I can't,” Jinyoung mumbles after Jackson made him aware of his current reality.

“Then I guess it's chaos for you,” he says with a teasing lightheartedness. “You're just very odd together.”

“Don't say odd. It's sounds so negative.”

“_You_ just drew parallels with wars and chaos. _You_ make it sound negative!” his friend fusses.

“Let's at least settle for wondrous. We are wondrous. That fits.”

“If this makes you feel less miserable, call it as you like. Just a small reminder, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't have to make catastrophe-like comparisons, if you had a relationship with Alex. It would be all the calm and breezy stuff which you actually wish for.”

“Jackson!”

“Just a reminder.”

“Ugh!”

“Hot guys are lining up to bang you. Honestly tragic, Jinyoung.”

“That doesn't help.”

“Okay, so will you tell me what you're fighting about? What did he do this time?”

“He......” Jinyoung tries to make some sense of the raging thoughts in his head. It's more difficult than he expected. In the end he even surprises himself. “He didn't do anything. I think I did something. I asked for advice. He gave his opinion which wasn't the same as my opinion and he also made me look at the issue from a different angle and.... I didn't like it. I stormed out like an angry kid.”

“Oh, how unexpected,” Jackson admits. “Maybe you both are really war.”

“Wondrous, Jackson. We agreed on wondrous.”

“You agreed all by yourself, but it doesn't matter. And now you're miserable because you realized that you're too different from each other to ever make it work between the two of you? That's sad but it also makes sense. You said it yourself, make up sex isn't everything. I know it hurts now, Jinyoungie. But in a few days it will get better.”

“Actually I realized that I might have acted immaturely. I shouldn't have dismissed his point so quickly. And getting mad at him topped it all off.”

“What? No... but... it was going so well, Jinyoung. Just leave it be. Whatever this is between you, it sounds exhausting. To be with somebody shouldn't be exhausting, right? You even said it yourself only minutes ago,” Jackson tries his best to convince him.

“He pushed my limit and made me think beyond my boundaries. I'm not used to that. But it's not a bad thing, right?”

“No, but it still sounds exhausting. Also you're confusing. I never know if you argue _for_ this thing with Mark or _against_ this thing with Mark. It's like you change your mind every five seconds.”

“I don't even know this myself. I'm at a loss with him and this situation.”

Jackson heaves a deep sigh before he speaks. “You know that I'm just worried about you, right?” He looks into Jackson's big, brown puppy eyes which shine with honesty. A tiny smile makes it to Jinyoung's lips.

“I know that. Thank you. But I don't think that I can end things with Mark yet. Not yet. There is something I have to find out first. There is more to experience. I can't miss out on that. Also there is the addiction. I just can't help myself.”

“But don't get hurt, okay?”

“I try.” He smiles at Jackson and reaches out to playfully tousle his hair. The other just lets it happen, responding with an equally fond smile.

“Hey Jackson? You lied to me. I know that now. Mark isn't fucking around, according to...well... himself,” Jinyoung says softly to not destroy the calmness of the moment.

“Fuck, I've been caught, huh?” He looks caught off-guard with a hint of guilt but also mischievousness playing on his face.

Jinyoung props himself up on his elbow to gaze down at Jackson. “Why?”

“I hope you believe me when I say that I only did it in an attempt to protect you,” he starts to explain calmly. “Because that was my only motivation. You're both my friends, but I thought I could prevent Mark from breaking your heart with this lie. But no, you are just running into his open arms. Usually you would keep your distance from every boy who mindlessly fucks around but no, of course not this time. Mark says, 'hey sleep with me' and you just say 'yeah sure, how often do you want it?' which is so, _soooo _unbelievably unlike you. Who are you and where is my judging friend Park Jinyoung? Because I only see this cheap hoe here right now,” Jackson rants. He obviously talked himself into a rage during his little speech. Jinyoung thinks it's cute but he won't tell him.

“Calling me cheap hoe when you actually asked me for a favor last time. Not very clever,” he threatens playfully.

“I mean not cheap hoe, no... what I meant is truly expensive and classy hoe, you know? This kind of hoe you have to buy champagne for and stuff.”

“Awesome Jackson, truly awesome,” Jinyoung comments with feigned annoyance.

“Ugh, what I meant to say is that it was unexpected that you would go home with a boy after only knowing him for an hour. And it was even more unexpected that you kept meeting him even after I told you he's a fuckboy. It's not like you. Usually it would have worked and you would have avoided getting close to Mark. But laws obviously don't apply to Mark Tuan.”

“So why? Why was it so important to keep my distance from him? If he isn't a fuckboy, why do you think he would break my heart?”

“That's the thing I can't tell you, the thing you rather ask him.”

“Ugh,” Jinyoung groans. When will he finally get answers he actually can work with? “I kind of tried. But he said there's nothing special in his past for me to know.”

“Fucking Tuanese dumbass! I will talk to him,” Jackson sighs. “To stick to the truth here, I'm not 100% sure he will break your heart. But there is a certain risk and I would have liked you to completely stay away from that possibility. But now that you seem to fall for him-”

“What?”

“It just seems like it, okay? So when you will fall for him, I really don't have any idea if he would return your feelings.”

“Huh, I guess it's not only me who has no idea about what goes on inside his head.”

“Hell no. He's truly unpredictable.”

Jinyoung looks down at the sheets, drawing patterns into them with his fingertip while he contemplates the great enigma which is Mark Tuan.

“Uhm...hey Jinyoungie? Did you think about the Jaebum issue?” Jackson asks cautiously.

“Yeah, too much actually.”

“Aaaaand?” So pretty, big puppy eyes, Jinyoung would like to delay his answer just to look longer at the beautiful sparks of hope dancing in Jackson's eyes. But he also has mercy with his friend.

“I will speak with him and see what he thinks about you.”

“YAY MY JINYOUNGIE IS THE BEST!” Jackson happily yells and jumps up. He pounces on Jinyoung and snuggles into his chest.

“Woaaah.... heavy.”

“Heavy and happyyyyy!”

“Just so you know, I will speak in a very neutral way. I won't make a pitch for you or anything.”

“It's fine, I'm my own best advertisement. I only need him to give me a chance,” he says, half cackling while he rubs his head against Jinyoung's shoulder.

“Fine,” Jinyoung murmurs. He snakes his arms around Jackson's back to secure him on top of his body as Jackson is on the verge of falling off with all his squirming he's doing. “I'm glad you're happy.”

“I'm glad that you trust me.”

“Just don't break his heart because then I have to break your legs.”

“I won't.”

“And don't forget my existence as soon as you become a happy couple with him. I don't have that many friends.”

Jackson giggles his most annoying giggle right next to Jinyoung's ear. “Like you ever would get rid of me, Jinyoungie. You and I, we're forever.”

A stupid smile blooms on Jinyoung's lips and becomes brighter with every second. He grins at the ceiling while he tightens his arms around his friend.

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

When Jinyoung arrives in front of Mark's apartment door, a mental breakdown in the making and a tub of ice cream with him, he doesn't have any time to ponder. His attention is immediately snatched by the beautiful piano sounds which are gently floating through the cracks around the apartment door. Mellow notes of some classical music piece, which he isn't familiar with, draw him in. He steps closer to the door, eventually so close that he can press his ear against it to catch even more of the sweet melody.

His eyes flutter shut. He's engulfed by this magical sound, easily enchanted by the lightness of this tune. The mental images of Mark sitting at that white piano and his long fingers gracefully pressing down the keys flood his mind, and unknowingly a soft smile appears on his lips.

He wakes up from his magical daze only after the last note resonates behind that door. He opens his eyes, steps back and gives himself a few seconds to perceive what just happened and to remind himself why he's even here.

He's on the verge of chickening out when his nervous breakdown in the making comes forward again. So with his last bit of courage he rings the doorbell.

He should run. He's not made for this kind of mental stress. He should just leave the ice cream as an apology gift and run. But then again, Mark doesn't even like ice cream.

His rising nervous breakdown is interrupted when the door swings open. Mark looks so good. He always looks good but after not seeing him a few days he looks even better. But he also looks serious when his hard stare meets Jinyoung's eyes.

“What are you doing here?” A recurrent question, and a legit one, in Jinyoung's opinion.

“I brought the ice cream you don't like,” Jinyoung says, trying to pull out the cutest version of himself when he smiles so that his dimple pops out on his cheek. Additionally he playfully waggles with the ice cream tub in front of him.

“Awesome, you really know how to earn Brownie points,” Mark retorts with no emotion showing on his face. Blatant sarcasm is obvious his words, sharp like a spear. With crossed arms, he leans against the door frame. “Anything else?”

“Uhm.... yes,” Jinyoung mumbles, way less enthusiastic after the cutest version of himself failed so miserably. “I also brought a half apology.”

Mark raises his eyebrows at that. Jinyoung is just glad that there is at least a reaction visible on his face. “In that case you can come in.”

Without another word, Mark turns around to walk back inside. Jinyoung is quick to follow.

“I heard you playing the piano,” he blurts out with new found cheerfulness as he takes off his shoes.

“And?”

“It sounded nice.”

Mark looks at him intently with narrowed eyes when he tilts his head slightly to one side. Once again Jinyoung feels like he's being examined under the microscope. “Oh wow... you didn't think I really could, right? You're so surprised because you thought I was lying.”

“It's not that I didn't believe you,” Jinyoung tries to appease. “It was more..... pending.”

“So you still were deciding if you could believe me or not. That makes it so much better.” Ouch, more piercing sarcasm. Jinyoung should better act quickly.

“Mark, I'm sorry. I was just..... when you told me but didn't wanted to play that day, I was a bit confused. Also you really don't struck me as the type to play piano well, so in my head it didn't make sense. But now, when I heard it, it became real.”

“I'm sorry that i don't look like your typical classical music kind of guy. Maybe I should go and buy a sweater vest or something.” He's still so annoyed. Jinyoung's apology might have made it worse.

He scans Mark quickly from head to toe. He wears a simple black t-shirt and light gray ripped jeans. It's combined with adorably tousled blond hair. No, he really doesn't look like the classical music type but Jinyoung really likes it the way it is.

“Please don't. I just realized that the way you break down clichés is truly attractive.”

“How lucky I am.” Mark rolls his eyes and walks into his living room, leaving Jinyoung behind in the hallway.

Jinyoung admits to himself that this wasn't his most skillful argumentation. What is he even doing? He came here to extinguish a fire, not starting new ones. He heaves a sigh as he scurries after Mark.

“Hey, can I put the ice cream in the freezer?”

“You don't want to eat it?”

“Nah, don't feel like it now.”

“Then why bringing it in the first place?”

“The truth?”

“Would be nice?”

“If all else would have failed, I would have offered you to lick it off my naked body in exchange for hearing me out.”

“Are you for real?”

Jinyoung pouts as he nods his head, eyes wide and innocent. “Yeah, I needed a plan B, just in case. You wanted the truth. Don't look so shocked.”

“No, I'm just so disappointed in myself. Damn, why did I give in so quickly? A great opportunity missed to lick you everywhere. Every-fucking-where,” he bemoans. Jinyoung is glad to see some of the usual playfulness returning to Mark. A feeling of relief washes over him and his nervous breakdown in the making is buried by that.

“You sound like the biggest pervert when you say it like that.”

“_You_ suggested it and _I am_ the pervert? Something is seriously going wrong here.”

“Nope. Everything is absolutely right here,” Jinyoung says with a huge grin on his face.

“You know what, get out.”

“W-W-What?” The grin disappears as quickly as it came.

Mark nudges him back through the hallway and out of the door before he closes it right behind Jinyoung. He feels like a complete moron, standing back outside with the tub of ice cream still in his hand but without the comfort of shoes.

“Mark?”

“Ring the doorbell again,” Mark's muffled voice creeps through the door.

“Huh?”

“Ring the doorbell again. Come on, Sugartoast! It's not that hard.”

That's true. It might be absolutely weird, but it's not a difficult task to fulfill. So Jinyoung does what he's asked to do.

Mark opens the door once again. “Hello. What are you doing here?” He looks just as serious as the first time. Only now it dawns on Jinyoung what he tries to do here.

“Hi, I brought a half apology.”

“Good. And that?” He nods towards the tub in Jinyoung's hand.

“Ice cream.”

“What for?”

“So you can lick it off my naked body whenever you feel like it?”

“You may come in,” Mark says with a satisfied smile. Jinyoung slightly shakes his head as his shoeless self waddles back inside.

Mark takes the tub from him while he's offering this mischievous smile of his. “I better put that in the freezer so it's nice and cold when we need it.”

“Sure, pervert.”

The adorable grin turns into a dismissive frown in less than a second. “You know, I like you better when you're naked.”

“Hey!”

“To be fair, I like _me_ also better when you're naked.”

“How is this supposed to do anything for me?” Jinyoung retorts sulkily.

“It isn't. I just wanted to let you know.” With a shrug Mark turns around to walk into his kitchen. “Sit down, Sugartoast.”

Jinyoung walks to the couch and takes a seat. He observes the white piano in the corner of the room until Mark joins him again.

“We dealt with the ice cream, now I'm thrilled to hear about this half apology.”

Mark's eyes are on him, fully and solely focused on him. Jinyoung missed this feeling. With all this attention on him, he feels special again.

Without further ado he jumps right into the mess of his thoughts. “I'm sorry for storming out of here last time. I was angry. My behavior was childish. I came to realize that later.”

Mark nods almost unnoticeably. His gaze never strays from Jinyoung's face.

“Also I thought about our conversation a lot. I came to you and asked for advice. Just because your point of view wasn't what I expected to hear, it wasn't a reason to get mad. That was also pretty childish. And last but not least, we come to the part where only the half apology applies. As I said, I thought a lot about this conversation. And I have to admit that you weren't completely wrong with your opinion. I might be a little scared to lose both Jaebum and Jackson all at once. They are great pillars of strength in my life and I don't know what to do without them. _But.... _it's still valid that I was worried about Jaebum getting hurt in the first place. That was my main concern, it still is, even before the possibility that my pathetic ass could be left behind by both of them.”

“I believe you,” Mark simply states. His eyes are shiny and beautiful, his voice quiet and gentle. “I never doubted that you're concerned about his well-being. I just wanted to point out the likelihood of other things playing a role in your decision making. I think it's important to realize that. But as I also was saying, it's only natural to be a bit selfish and possessive with the people important to us. It's a human flaw but not terrible per se. I would have loved to explain this to you last time but you stormed out and.... yeah, there never was a chance.”

“I said I'm sorry,” Jinyoung mumbles. “But honestly? You could have acknowledged my approach to this a little more, before you shot me down. You made it sound like my concerns regarding Jaebum were nothing but a cheap excuse and that offended me. A lot. You could have been more understanding. Your bluntness sometimes is too much. _You’re_ sometimes too much. Just…. too much to take.”

There is a long pause where Mark only stares at him. Jinyoung wonders if his criticism deactivated him because he thinks Mark isn't even blinking anymore. The situation grows slightly uncomfortable. But Jinyoung won't back down. He promised that to himself because it's not only his fault that they are fighting so much. He needed Mark to know that certain bit and now he just has to wait and see what happens.

“I know,” he eventually says. “It's not like it's the first time I'm hearing this. It's part of my personality and I admit I don't have much control over it. I'm really sorry that my words hurt you. That wasn't my intention at all. Thank you for coming back here and for being brave enough to talk this out. Only very few people would have faced up to the situation like you did.”

Jinyoung looks away as he feels a blush creeping to his cheeks. He likes it too much when Mark approves of him like this. He really is addicted to him. There's no other sensible explanation. Also he's very glad that Mark ended up reacting this lenient to his remarks regarding his straightforwardness. Jinyoung didn't know what to expect. Worst case would have been to be kicked out by Mark again. But now everything seems to run rather smoothly.

“So? Did you decide what to do in this Jackson/Jaebum case?”

“Yeah, I will ask Jaebum if he would consider meeting Jackson.”

“I'm impressed, Sugartoast. That's quite a development,” he cheers and smiles adorably.

Now his head feels like a stove plate. Mark should stop before Jinyoung faints from all the acknowledgment. That's not good for his heart.

Gladly Jinyoung is saved by the bell, or rather by the ring tone of Mark's phone. The device sits on the coffee table in front of Mark and Jinyoung can't read the ID which is flashing on the screen. But after Mark glances at it for a second, he unceremoniously declines the call.

“Who was that?” Jinyoung blurts out without thinking. A moment later he contemplates that this might be none of his business.

“A friend,” Mark answers simply.

“You decline a call from a friend?”

“Let me rephrase this. It’s a kind-of-friend who I occasionally meet up with to make out.”

“Ooh…. and you…uhm…you aren’t up for it?”

“Nah, I’m good,” he assures and squeezes Jinyoung’s knee. In Mark language this was almost a confession, or so Jinyoung thinks. Or maybe it's just a love confession to Jinyoung's body and an acknowledgment on how satisfied Mark is with his performance in bed. Jinyoung doesn't know. Will he ever know that? He would die to learn what goes on in Mark's mind. He's such a quiet person but Jinyoung imagines his mind to be loud all the more. Nevertheless, Jinyoung notices how the smugness invades his mind. Like an invisible pat on his back, a feeling of triumph spreads through him. Maybe he managed to tame Mark Tuan a bit already.

“So you don't plan on meeting with that guy anymore?”

“I don't know. But it would be pretty rude to meet him now, since you're here. And I can't give you more reasons to call me rude,” Mark says giggling.

All the smugness in him evaporates in less than a second. Of course, Jinyoung got ahead of himself. Just because Mark declines the call from this guy now, doesn't mean he bans him from his life. Of course. Jinyoung didn't manage to tame anything. He's just clowning himself here. He's glad Mark can't read his mind just like he can't read Mark's mind. That would have been embarrassing.

But then he realizes that Mark looks at him quizzically. Is he actually trying to read Jinyoung's mind? No, it's just Jinyoung's turn to say something. Mark expects him to say something. And Jinyoung panics because he doesn't want to express his most prominent thoughts about how he wishes that Mark wouldn't make out with any other guys anymore. Under no circumstances he can say that aloud. So he blurts out his next best back-up thought.

“I like to have a proper haircut. There is this really short time frame when my hair is just perfect. When it grows too long, like it is now, I look like a sloppy stray dog and I hate that. But when I go to the hairdresser, they never manage to cut my hair so it has the exact perfect length. They always cut it way too short. And that’s a pity because I like it short but not _that_ short. So I spend weeks running around looking like an idiot with way too short hair. When it’s that short my ears are sticking out too much and people start talking about them. So I run around like that, unpleasantly aware of my big ears until my hair grows out and has the perfect proper length again for like two minutes. After that, it’s sloppy-stray-dog again and then it’s big-ears-idiot again. It’s a vicious circle.”

The amusement which mixes with surprise on Mark's face is noticeable but not unexpected. How else would one react to a monologue, this irrelevant and unrelated to the prior topic?

“Tragic,” Mark simply comments, a short laugh following.

“Are you making fun of me?”

“No. It's admirable how passionate you can get about... literally anything.” His amusement turns into a soft smile. Well, this is rather sweet, Jinyoung thinks. “How about leaving it to me?”

“What? Cutting my hair?”

“Yeah,” Mark answers and already runs his fingers through Jinyoung's dark strands.

“Uhm... are you sure?”

“Of course,” Mark retorts right away and flashes him a bright and enthusiastic smile.

That's all it needs to convince Jinyoung that this would be a good idea. It only takes a minute for Mark to sit him down on a chair, draping a towel around Jinyoung's shoulders and getting some equipment.

Jinyoung enjoys the way Mark gently brushes his hair for a minute. Only when he hears the sound of the scissors cutting, a hint of worry creeps into his thoughts. And only when he sees a long strand of hair falling into his lap, he panics.

“Mark! What are you doing?” he screeches immediately and moves in the chair, away from Mark-ward Scissorhands. He looks up at the seemingly surprised boy.

“Oh...”

“Oh? What do you mean _oh_? What... what happened?” Jinyoung fusses and touches the side of his head where he only finds stubble left to feel.

“Oh, I thought I would be better at this?” Mark seems still a bit baffled but a lot calmer than Jinyoung.

“You _thought_? I _thought _you would know what you're doing when you've suggested it.” Stupid Mark with his stupid confidence which always lets it seem like he is capable of accomplishing everything in stupid Jinyoung's stupid eyes.

“I never said this though. It was more like a let-me-have-a-try-at-this kind of thing,” Mark explains unfazed.

“Then let me have a try at murdering you because I think I would be good at it.”

“You're really mad, huh?”

“Hell yes, I'm mad. You ruined my hair!” Jinyoung is on the verge of yelling at him but he tries to keep it in. Also Mark looks kind of at a loss right now with the pair of scissors in one hand and some of Jinyoung's hair still in the other hand. And Jinyoung might think it's cute but he's still very upset.

“It's not _that_ ruined,” Mark tries to argue, still unbothered. “I know it kind of sucks now, but in six weeks your hair already has forgotten that this ever happened.”

“Awesome. Just six weeks of hiding. No big deal!” he snaps. “I'm sure I look like an idiot now. Big-ears-idiot version of me is a beauty compared to ruined-weird-hair version now. What... what am I gonna do?” Jinyoung wails.

“Wait here for a moment,” Mark sighs and walks into his bedroom. A minute later he comes back with a navy blue beanie in his hand. He puts it on Jinyoung’s head so that his fringe is still peeking out. “Well, that looks cute.”

“Fine, I just can wear hats for the rest of my life then,” Jinyoung murmurs sulkily.

“First of all, I didn’t mean to imply that. Second, your dramatic ass is really something. And third, we will fix this. I promise.”

For some reason it soothes Jinyoung a lot that Mark tells him that with so much confidence. This makes it very believable, like there’s no other option but it all to work out in the end. Though he thought the same when Mark suggested to cut his hair earlier.

They leave the apartment. As soon as they step out on the sidewalk, Mark takes his hand and starts to walk somewhere Jinyoung doesn't know. The latter lets himself guide, following the blond with a pout on his lips. Though confusion makes it difficult for him again. He's still mad at Mark but he also enjoys it to walk hand in hand with him in public. But that takes away some of his peevishness, and he doesn't want Mark to know that. So he just keeps quiet and tries to engrave the sight of their joined hands in his memory.

It's not a long walk until they arrive at a cozy looking barbershop. They enter and Mark greets one of the hairdressers, a friendly looking girl, which he seems to know. The blond explains what happened and the compassionate girl sits Jinyoung down and starts to work on his hair immediately. He simply lets it happen. What choice does he have now anyway?! Every 10 seconds the girl assures him that it will turn out awesome. A bright smile accompanies her statement every time.

Jinyoung can see that she knows what she is doing, unlike Mark. And soon she's done and presents the result to him with a proud smile. The hair on the top of his head, she almost didn't touch, while the back and sides are buzzed very short.

Her smile turns to a rather nervous facial expression as she watches Jinyoung observing himself in the mirror skeptically. She exchanges a look with Mark and leaves them alone for a bit. The blonde steps behind Jinyoung and makes eye contact with him in the mirror.

“So?”

“What is this?”

“This is what people call an undercut. Stop looking so weirded out, Sugartoast. It suits you. You look hot.”

“So I didn't look hot before,” Jinyoung huffs.

“Didn't say that. You look differently hot now. A very modern hot,” Mark explains with a slight eye roll.

“So you like this one more. Because before I was differently, oldfashioned, mediocre hot.”

“Now you simply try to pick a fight with me and I don't have any inspiration to do that,” Mark reasons listlessly.

“Fine. But I can’t walk around with an undercut with…. _those_ ears,” he grumbles and makes a face. “Give me the beanie.”

“Which beanie?”

“_Your_ beanie. The one you gave me earlier.”

“I burned it.”

“Maaark!”

“Sugartoast,” he coos, “you don't need it. I sincerely think you look very good. Your ears are cute. And your hairstyle is hot. Deadly combination.” Mark leans down to press a kiss to the top of his head and suddenly Jinyoung thinks he could get used to the new hairstyle. At least until his hair grows back to its normal state.

On the way back to the apartment Mark buys them coffee. They walk in silence, hand in hand while they enjoy their hot beverages. As always, Jinyoung feels it when Mark's eyes are on him. And during their walk through the darkening streets Mark glances at him incredibly often. This makes Jinyoung feel tingly and warm and excited and all in all just very good.

They go back inside, get rid of their shoes, and without a word Mark guides Jinyoung back to sit on the couch.

The blonde sits down next to him. Close. He is so close. Mark's intense eyes are searching Jinyoung's, preventing him from looking anywhere else. He couldn't look anywhere else anyway, not when their magnetism is this strong. And then Mark leans in, slowly. Jinyoung holds his breath, watching him coming closer as if everything happens in slow motion. His heart is pounding so hard that his whole body seems to pulse.

Mark presses a kiss to the corner of Jinyoung's mouth, his lips warm and comforting on his skin. He pulls away. An appreciative glance runs over the curve of Jinyoung's lips. With Mark lingering near his face, Jinyoung realizes the excited flutter of his stomach. The rushing sound of blood pumping, muffles his hearing. Having Mark so close to him is not good for his heart. Having Mark not close to him is worse for his heart.

Finally Mark closes the tiny distance again. Soft, luscious lips bless his own and Jinyoung gently responds. A long, slow kiss buries Jinyoung's whole world in bliss. It's tender and chaste, sweet and intimate. Mark's fingertips dance across the skin of his neck and wander up behind his ear. He's holding his head in place without any force.

His silken lips caress Jinyoung's bottom lip like it's something very precious, something that can't be handled too roughly or otherwise it would break. This is so different from their usual passion and urgency. But Jinyoung likes it. He likes this tenderness as much as he likes their desperate desire for each other.

Mark pulls away another time. Jinyoung witnesses how his eyes slowly open again. It feels like the gate to a treasure chamber opens. His eyes, so deep, so clear and yet so inscrutable.

Another slow movement. His lips skim over Jinyoung's face and eventually linger on his tiny cheek scar. A small lick of his wildcat tongue to it before his warm lips are kissing it. Jinyoung is overwhelmed by the pure affection his actions hold. And when Mark pulls away just for a bit and their eyes meet again, there is this moment. This one moment which feels so special and intimate, like nothing exists except the other boy. Like the other one is he only reality, the only safe shelter in a world full of unknown. And Jinyoung simply knows that Mark feels it as well.

But then it’s gone, the moment passed, all the magic just evaporated into the endless universe when Mark looks at him with this pained expression. It’s the same kind of hurt Jinyoung spotted on him before, when he looked at him while he was filming. The unicorn expression, Jinyoung remembers that he named it that way. Just what in the world is this? What is going on? What is Jinyoung doing to give him this kind of pain?

Mark scoots away from him abruptly. “You should go home.”

“I.... what?” To say Jinyoung is confused is an understatement. “What is going on, Mark? Are you okay?”

Mark grabs his phone and starts to operate it with a disturbing urgency. He ignores Jinyoung's questions until he's done with whatever he was doing there. He puts his phone down and focuses on Jinyoung again. A small smile plays on his lips but Jinyoung doesn't think it's a real one.

“You need to get up early tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah, but.... how do you know?”

“You mentioned it once. Thursday is your early day.”

“You remember,” he whispers, stunned by the fact that the blond who sometimes seems so indifferent, seems to soak up every detail Jinyoung reveals about himself.

“Yes, I do. And I don't want to jeopardize your academic performance. We both know that you wouldn't get enough sleep, if you'd stay the night.”

Jinyoung can't argue with that. It's actually pretty sensible and thoughtful of Mark to bring that up. Still, the image of Mark's hurt expression and his sudden shift in behavior feel off.

“Is everything okay?” Jinyoung asks carefully.

“Sure. Don't look at me like that. I just needed to stop before you and your hot hairstyle and your cute ears would have seduced me.”

“Idiot,” Jinyoung huffs, half laughing. Though he still doesn't buy it. But Mark doesn't want to elaborate once again.

The blond stands up and walks towards the door. Jinyoung reluctantly follows. But this time he can’t leave without any reassurance. After he slipped on his shoes, he quietly asks, “Will we see each other soon?”

There’s a bit of hesitance. He’s thinking. Only when his eyes meet Jinyoung’s, a smile appears on his face. “Yes.”

That’s everything he gets. A smile and a yes. Right now, he doesn’t need much more. Mark wouldn't give him more anyway. He has to be content with this for now.

So they say their goodbyes. No kiss. No hug. Jinyoung sighs heavily when the apartment door shuts and he slowly starts to make his way down the stairs.

He doesn't know what it is with Mark. He changes between hot and cold in seconds and Jinyoung never knows what to expect next. It feels like Mark pushes him away to create some distance only to draw him near again. Whether the other does this on purpose, Jinyoung can't tell. But it's exhausting and sends Jinyoung through a constant emotional rollercoaster ride.

And a very unsettling thought hits him next. What was Mark really doing on his phone? Jinyoung thinks back to the declined call earlier today. Was Mark now texting that guy to come over for a make out session? Does he prefer that other guy? Was Jinyoung boring now? Is Mark craving some change again? These thoughts are so scary, so threatening that it feels like his chest is crushing by the force of them. Tears are welling up in his eyes. He gasps for breath. This is not how this day was supposed to end. It was going so well. Why is he crying over Mark at the end of it?

He steps out into the darkness of the evening. He wishes he could go back up to Mark. For a second he even contemplates to loiter in front of the building to see if some potential lover of Mark would show up. But that would be crazy. Jinyoung doesn't want to be crazy.

“Mr. …...Jinyoung?” a voice snaps him out of his thoughts. There's a guy, apparently a taxi driver, right in front of the house, waiting by the door of his car.

“Yeah?”

“Oh great, I'm here to pick you up. Please get in.”

“I didn't call a taxi,” Jinyoung retorts, confused.

“No, according to my information a Mark Tuan made the request for you.”

“What? I.... I don't need a taxi though.”

“But it's late and it's already paid for. Also no offense but you don't look too well. So just get in, boy,” the man says with a kind smile and opens the car door for Jinyoung.

Jinyoung gets inside without asking any more questions. Actually he's glad that he gets home quickly and comfortably. Also he's glad that Mark was so thoughtful. But the happiest he is about the fact that Mark probably only used his phone to get the taxi for him instead of booty texting this guy.

He lets his head drop against the headrest. The relief that washes over him is immense. But he also is worried. He's worried about how much every little action of Mark affects him by now. He's worried about the magnetism which he can't seem to defend himself against. He's worried about how this whole thing would possibly end. According to Jackson, it will all end in him finding his doom. So be it!

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

Jinyoung is still so satisfied and so blissed-out when he lazes around on his bed. He at least managed to slip his sweatpants and hoodie back on. To do more, he isn’t capable of right now. After the knock at his door slightly startled him, a lazy smile works its way across his face.

“What are you doing? Just come in,” he calls out.

But when the door opens and Jaebum enters the room, he abruptly sits up and stares at his friend with wide eyes.

“Hey best friend, who I barely met in the past few weeks. I guess you expected somebody else?” he says with a huge grin on his face.

“J-Jaebum? What are you... I mean I... uhm-”

“Don't worry. I came over because I think it's a bit unfair that you always make the trip to my house and I am rarely here at your place. Also I really missed you, so here I am.”

“Ugh... sorry for coming over less often.”

“I said don't worry. It's fine.”

“Aaahhh my Bum-Bummie,” Jinyoung coos and sends him some finger hearts.

“And instantly I regret coming over,” his best friend sighs before he presses his lips together to form a straight line. He plops down on the vacant bed opposite of Jinyoung's, and immediately lies down.

“No, don't. I'm glad you're here,” Jinyoung snickers.

“Are you free right now or am I bothering you?”

“No, you're not. It's just.... I just had somebody over and technically...uhm.... still have.”

“That explains the disgusting smell in here. I didn't even need to analyze your anime eyes this time. Please open the window.”

“Oh shit.” Jinyoung is quick to grant him his wish. He didn't realize but for somebody coming into his room, the sex smell must be prominent.

Jinyoung was glad when Mark was showing up in front of his dorm room only two days after their last meeting. The longer Jinyoung pondered about the way they parted ways the last time, the less he believed that Mark would fulfill his promise regarding them meeting soon. The happier he was when Mark dropped by earlier, with a wide smile and an urgent sex drive.

“I guessed that the reason for your rare appearances might have been the sadistic fuck champ you met recently. Am I right? Is it him?” Such a teasing grin on his face, Jinyoung wants to melt into the wall he's leaning against.

“Oh my god, you still remember that conversation,” Jinyoung exclaims and hides his face in his palms for a few moments. “Uhm... yeah, it's still him. I mean I have loads of things to do for my courses but he kind of helps me coping with it better, if this makes sense.”

“Yeah, you explained pretty well how he fucks your problems away.”

“Oh shit, I really said that.”

“Yep. And where is he now? Hiding under your bed?”

“No, taking a shower.”

“So I'm gonna meet him? For real? How absolutely thrilling,” Jaebum cheers.

“What are you so enthusiastic for?”

“I don't know but it already feels like I would meet a legend or mythical creature,” he snickers.

“Like Mark, the fuck fairy or something?” Jinyoung huffs with feigned annoyance. Jaebum only laughs at that.

“Something along that line but maybe a bit more masculine? Mark, the sex demon, Mark, the incubus. Something like that. Anyway, it sounds like you meet him frequently now. So I assume it's more than a mere one-night stand, huh? Do you like him now?”

Does Jinyoung like him now? What a crucial question. And he asked it so casually as if Jinyoung wouldn't be able to hold an hours-long monologue about the complexity of the Mark Tuan situation. But he doesn't want to bother Jaebum with the entirety of it so he cuts his answer short.

“It's complicated.”

“That's vague,” Jaebum complains.

Jinyoung shrugs, not knowing how to move on from here.

“Okay, tell me more. Apart from this guy, what happened in your life? Apparently you changed your hairstyle for the first time in forever. It looks really good on you.”

“Oh... that, yeah. It was kind of an accident but thank you.” Actually Jackson was praising his new haircut as well. And Alex's jaw dropped noticeably at the sight of Jinyoung. Also Mark went pretty wild today, though Jinyoung isn't sure if this is connected to his new hair or just to Mark's wildcat-side in general. But maybe this hairstyle isn't that bad. But he also already decided that this is nice for a change but not a permanent thing. “I will let it grow back to my usual hairstyle though.”

“I guess you are still you after all,” Jaebum chuckles. “What else did I miss?” The smile on Jaebum's face is so wide and genuine that Jinyoung's heart winces a bit in his chest. He really missed his best friend as well and the feeling of guilt for neglecting him a little catches up with him now.

But here he is, his Jaebum, making all the way to him, when Jinyoung can't make it to his place. Here is his best friend, asking about his life, wanting to know the details of his it. It's a good feeling, a warm feeling. So Jinyoung excitedly starts to fill him in about his courses and his assignments.

After what must have been 10 minutes of Jinyoung gushing about his favorite professor, he notices the lack of response coming from his best friend. When he takes a close look at him he perceives the reason quickly. The closed eyes and the even breathing indicate that Jaebum fell asleep in the midst of his elaborations.

“Et Tu Brute?” Jinyoung mumbles. He huffs a laugh and shakes his head at his best friend.

Only seconds later, Mark enters again, looking like the sexy legend Jaebum believes he is. He's topless, only wearing sweatpants. His beautifully defined upper body is exposed and his neck is covered in striking, dark hickeys. Jinyoung silently wonders how many people threw longing glances at him when he made his way from the showers to Jinyoung's room.

“Wow, I just went out for a moment and you already have another male visitor? You're ruthless, Sugartoast,” Mark comments with raised eyebrows as he spots Jaebum.

“Psst! That's Jaebum. He dropped by to hang out,” Jinyoung whispers.

“Ooooooh, the soulmate,” Mark now also whispers. “Now he hangs out in dreamland it seems. Why is he sleeping in your room?”

“I told him about my courses and it knocked him out,” Jinyoung snickers.

“You really have a sucky soulmate relationship,” Mark says, grinning.

“Who said soulmates have to be perfect though?”

“Also true. At least you're unique together. I mean who visits his soulmate just to be lulled to sleep by his stories? It's kind of cute.”

“Maybe it is. But he seems really tired. We should let him rest a little.”

“Fine with me. As long as I don't have to let _you_ rest.” Mark pulls Jinyoung to his feet and carefully makes him walk backwards until his back meets the wall. This mischievous grin and the glinting eyes indicate that he is up to no good.

“What are you doing?” Jinyoung whispers, rather hysterical already since this spells trouble.

“Playing with my favorite toy.”

“Yes, but we just finished playing, right?”

“I'm still excited to play. Wasn't it nice how my mouth played with your very hard dick, Sugartoast?”

“Oh my god, stop!”

He doesn't stop. His fingers creep under the hem of Jinyoung's hoodie and gently dance over his bare stomach. “But I like touching you so much. I also like tasting you very much. You do know that my tongue only wants _you_, right?”

Jinyoung has to swallow a lump in his throat before he can answer. How can Mark be so daring and so sexy and so freaking irresistible?! “Oh my god, Mark. Please,” Jinyoung begs as Mark pushes himself even closer to him.

“And you liked it, right? You liked spreading your cum all over my face, right Sugartoast? Tell me how much you liked seeing me covered in your thick cum. Or did you already forget how it looked on me?”

“Oh god. Back off, sex demon,” he gasps and closes his eyes in desperation as a shudder travels down his body. Jinyoung didn’t forget. He doesn’t think he ever could. It looked ethereal. It’s his new favorite image in the world and he doubts that he can ever spend another waking minute without thinking about the way his cum was gracing the handsome face of panting Mark Tuan.

Jinyoung wants to flee but he also wants to stay and see what happens. He's as confused as ever. Where Mark is touching him, his skin is buzzing. Heat already starts to thrum through his body. He just doesn't know what to do but he knows that it's simply unfair how easy it is for Mark to get him into this state of arousal. And the seductive smirk on his pretty lips doesn't help at all to keep Jinyoung grounded.

“You liked kissing me and tasting yourself. You liked the way I licked off every drop of yours. I know you, Sugartoast. And I know that you love to feed me with your cum.”

“Oh god fuck!” Jinyoung moans when Mark start to massage his nipples. His head lolls back against the wall as he tries to cope with the onslaught of sensations.

“Psst, I assume you want to stay quiet so your friend won't wake up. Let's see how quiet you can be.”

The familiar tingle of anticipation in the bottom of his stomach is gaining ground already. This is what happens when Mark touches him like that. Always. And it dangerously weakens his defenses.

“For fuck's sake! Jaebum is just three steps away. We can’t,” Jinyoung tries to argue when Mark already presses his lips to the distinctive edge of his jaw.

“You know I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do,” he breathes against his skin. “But just know that, _if_ you give me permission, magic will happen.” Mark pulls one of his hands out from under Jinyoung's hoodie. Next thing he knows, his fingertips are brushing over his cheek. Mark's eyes are burning with the familiar spark of desire and his deep voice, coming out in bewitching whispers, makes Jinyoung’s skin prickle all over his body.

Jinyoung knows it’s a dumb idea. He knows that it’s wrong. The sensible part of his mind is yelling at him to stop right here and right now. But one look at Mark and all his concerns scatter to the four winds.

An undeniable energy sizzles between them when their eyes meet. Their magnetism is too strong. Jinyoung is helpless. His hand comes up, his palm on Mark's cheek, their lips connecting. The feeling of everything is so good, so doubtlessly right that every bit of confusion leaves Jinyoung's pondering mind. He's letting his lips meld to Mark's.

Slowly, nimble fingers are pushing his hoodie up. Eventually Mark breaks away for a few moments to pull the piece of clothing off Jinyoung, only to lean in and capture his lips in a kiss again.

Mark's hands are on his bare waist, fingers are splaying out across his skin, sending incredible heat through Jinyoung's body. Mark pushes his tongue into Jinyoung's mouth, exploring everything as urgently as if it would be their first time. When he starts to rub circles into Jinyoung's hips with the pads of his thumbs, Jinyoung feels the excitement in his pants growing. They just had sex, more than once. How can Jinyoung be so hungry for this boy already again? This is beyond him but he doesn't even try to think about an answer for this now. So he just throws this out of his head and his arms around Mark's neck to feel even more of his three-quarter god.

Mark's hand leaves Jinyoung's hip to wander down south. Without hesitation he rubs his palm over Jinyoung's clothed crotch. The assaulted boy gasps into the kiss and Mark giggles a little.

“You're so hard, Sugartoast.” Earlier, Jinyoung didn't feel the motivation to put his underwear back on. Mark can feel it all. All the hardness and desire for him. “That's how I like you the most, hard and ready for me.” Mark grabs his cock through the fabric and as good as possible starts to tug on it.

“Aaaahhh oh fuck ah,” Jinyoung moans and slumps forward to bury his face in the crook of the other's neck.

“Psst, we need to be quiet, remember?”

“Easier said than done. Try to be quiet when I trap your dick in my ass, jerk,” Jinyoung whisper-grumbles.

“Yeah, I accept the challenge,” Mark answers with a lopsided grin. For a moment Jinyoung ponders if this was exactly what Mark wanted to hear because next, he pulls down Jinyoung's sweatpants in one go. The latter uses the opportunity to chance a glance at his sleeping best friend. He still looks pretty much out of it but the doubt sneaks back into his thoughts.

“Don't,” Mark whispers when he's back up at eye level and spots Jinyoung's worried expression. “Don't worry. I will keep an eye on him. You only have to focus on me.” His eyes are strong, his expression serious. Jinyoung believes him.

Mark walks back to Jinyoung's bed. He grabs the neglected bottle of lube on his way and pulls his own sweatpants down to his knees before he makes himself comfortable on the bed with his back leaning against the wall.

Jinyoung lets his eyes travel over his body. His cock is only semi-hard as yet but Jinyoung thinks he can change that quickly. Mark reaches out to him, motioning with his pointer and indicating Jinyoung to come closer. “Come and get it, Sugartoast.”

And Jinyoung isn't in a state where he would let himself be asked twice. Swiftly he crawls onto the bed. Mark watches him with vivid eyes. The heat of the moment swoops low in Jinyoung's belly as he climbs on the blond's lap. When he lets himself sink down on it, he feels Mark's dick twitching against him and he loves the fact that he has this effect on this untamed wildcat.

Jinyoung presses himself down on top of him, letting the boy feel all of his weight and rubbing himself on Mark's quickly hardening cock. All that while they gaze deep into each other's eyes. It's satisfying to witness how Mark's breathing becomes quicker and his eyes darker with every single one of Jinyoung's moves.

“Sugartoast, you look so sexy.” Mark's low whisper, full of admiration for Jinyoung, encourages him to provide his peak performance. He continues to rock himself against the bulge that he can feel beneath him like there's no tomorrow. When Mark closes his eyes and releases a deep groan he takes the chance to connect their lips and shove his tongue into the boy's mouth. The latter is surprised for a moment but then very welcoming.

Mark's palm slides up Jinyoung's bare front, his fingers spread to touch as much skin as possible. He gently caresses a few bite wounds he left on Jinyoung's chest priorly. What a striking contrast, this gentleness up there compared to the blazing inferno down where their crotches meet.

Jinyoung faintly notices how Mark's other hand is searching for the lube beside him. It's time, he thinks with a hint of relief. He's ready to welcome Mark inside him. Still well spread from earlier and definitely already excited enough to have him back.

Jinyoung pulls away and lifts himself to his knees to give Mark some space. The blond quickly prepares himself while Jinyoung watches in a mix of fascination and anticipation. When Mark holds his erect cock in his hand and smiles at Jinyoung, it looks heart-stoppingly beautiful. He takes in the view, Mark's hair still damp, his eyes bright and daring, his smile as fetching as ever.

He gladly sinks down onto the offered length, enjoying how the head slips past his rim, reveling in the feeling of his throbbing dick rubbing against his walls. His body tenses in the best way possible. The sensual moan which soars up Mark's throat is nothing but sheer encouragement. He feels so full, so satisfyingly well connected to Mark with his dick all the way inside of him. But he can't wait much longer. So Jinyoung lifts himself up until only the tip is still inside him, just to let himself drop back down into Mark's lap. Their bodies are slapping together. The skin-against-skin noise travels through the air and sounds obscene and absolutely beautiful.

Mark closes his eyes for a moment until he seems to remember that there is a performance going on which he rather doesn't want to miss. And Jinyoung gives it his all. He makes that extra effort to sway his hips and arch his back noticeably. Simply bouncing up and down on his cock would be easier. But as long as he can bear up, he wants to look as sensual as possible in front of Mark.

Jinyoung finds a hold on Mark's strong shoulders. He feels how the other's body shakes with each wave of pleasure, his deep groans getting louder every time Jinyoung takes his cock. The boy on top smirks down with satisfaction painted all over his face. “You have to be quiet,” he pants.

For a second Mark glares at him but then his hands sneak from Jinyoung's thighs up to grip his hips. He pulls him forward a little and slams him down into his lap with unexpected force. A surprised and considerably loud gasp escapes Jinyoung's throat because with this little trick Mark hits his golden spot dead on.

“Psst, you have to be quiet, Sugartoast,” Mark whispers smugly.

“Shut up, loser,” Jinyoung rants as he crashes his hips down again and provides both of them immense pleasure with it. Mark is so deep inside of him. He wants to shout his bliss out to the world. But just in time he remembers an important detail. “What.... about Jaebum?” Jinyoung pants. He almost forgot that they aren't alone but now that their attempt at doing this noiselessly failed, the realization kicked in again.

Mark peeks over his shoulder. And to Jinyoung's dismay, his eyes remain there.

“And?” he whisper-yells at the blond.

“Don't worry,” Mark answers but still doesn't tear his eyes away from the boy in the background. Instead one of his hands moves from his hip to cup one of Jinyoung's perfect round ass cheeks. He kneads it without hesitance, his strong fingers digging into the soft flesh greedily.

This is extra hot in Jinyoung's opinion but he can't hide his annoyance any longer.

“Can you focus on me here?” he hisses at Mark and when those beautiful fiery eyes meet his, there is a hint of confusion.

“I'm focused absolutely on you. But I'm supposed to check on him.”

“Check on him, not stare him awake, fucker.”

A mix of a moan and a laugh comes from Mark before he engages Jinyoung in a short but passionate kiss. He pulls away again and gives Jinyoung room to continue fucking himself on his cock. Mark looks at him like he's the top prize in the world's biggest lottery. And now Jinyoung really has to work on keeping his moans down because that look is difficult to process.

He just puts all his concentration into rolling his hips down on Mark and how beautiful his face looks every time Jinyoung is going down on him. And the pleasure, oh yes the pleasure every time the tip blesses this delicate, little spot in him.

Jinyoung gasps again and his hips jolt when Mark suddenly grasps his leaking erection and tugs the foreskin down in the tight circle he builds with his long fingers. “Fuuuuuck,” Jinyoung moans and forgets to whisper. This is too good to whisper. Also he forgot what whispering is. Mark squeezes the head and twists his wrist. He's flicking his fingers over the tender tip, rubbing and abusing it with every move. “Oh fuck Ma-” He chokes on a whimper. When Mark leans in and bites down on his collarbone he almost loses his mind. He can't do this anymore. He won't make it out alive. His heart is hammering against his rip cage, desperately trying to find a way out of its confinement. His blood turned into lava, his breathing is barely working.

The sensations are getting the best of him. His eyes start to glisten with tears because he has no idea what to do with all this rapture. And when he focuses back on Mark's face, their eyes meet and there is this moment of absolutely overwhelming magic. This one moment, until Mark's face is seized by the familiar hurt expression. There it is again, the pain, the unicorn expression, full of raw, terrible emotion. Jinyoung hates it. It has to go. He wants to scream at him. But as quickly as it appeared it escapes again when Jinyoung crashes himself down on Mark with all the exasperation that is caused by the other boy.

That pushed him over the edge. Mark explodes inside of him, a frantic sounding noise clambering up his throat. He feels the hot cum spreading and it's exciting and wondrous and it all belongs to him. Mark looks beautiful with this new expression of contentment on his face, which the orgasm brings him. His hand is still squeezing his dick and Jinyoung can't think of anything anymore aside from the orgasm which also wracks his body now. “Maaark oh fuck Ma-” Again he chokes on his words and it ends in a tragic sounding sob.

Pleasure is rippling over him like a wild rage of fire. Mark works him through his orgasm while his whole body is shaking as he continues to grind down on the blond's dick.

After Jinyoung survived the most of it he takes a big gulp of air as if he just would have emerged from the deep sea. He feels Mark's palm against his cheek and when his eyes regain their ability to focus he takes in the image of Mark's soft smile.

He leans in to plant a gentle kiss to Jinyoung's cheek, kissing away the single tear which rolled down his face. “Wow, Sugartoast,” he whisper-croaks. It sounds sexy but also it's laced with affection. He raises his other hand and licks some of Jinyoung's cum off his fingers. Jinyoung's eyes flutter at seeing this. He's still so beautifully dazed but in the back of his mind a voice is screaming that this is extremely hot and worth it to get hard over again. The blond brings his hand to Jinyoung's lips and without even thinking he starts to lick off his own fluid as well. He sucks the cum off Mark's beautiful long fingers before he's blessing them with kitten licks. Mark observes every little action of his mouth and Jinyoung revels in the way his eyes are fixed on him.

“Uhm.... excuse me?”

A voice. Jaebum's voice. What is Jaebum's voice doing here? It takes a few moments for Jinyoung to once again remember the exact setting they are currently in. And right now they are in his room with his best friend who is awake and probably staring at Jinyoung's naked back and ass while he's sitting on another almost naked boy. Jinyoung's wide eyes meet Mark's equally wide ones before he quickly scrambles off Mark's lap to grab the blanket and pull it over both of them.

When he spots his best friend he feels a brand new kind of heat raging in his cheeks. How mortified can a person be?! Jinyoung is sure he experiences the maximum level right now. Jaebum looks sheepishly from one boy to the other. Nobody says a word. Jinyoung wishes somebody outside would set off the fire alarm or something, just to dispel this situation's awkwardness.

Suddenly Mark moves under the blanket. Apparently he fixed his pants before he frees himself from the blanket and walks over to Jaebum with a fetching smile on his lips.

“Hey, I'm Mark,” he says as if he would meet him casually outside in a park or in the mall. He extends his hand for Jaebum to shake. But he realizes that this is the one that still bears traces of Jinyoung's cum, so he quickly holds out his other hand instead. Jaebum hesitates for a moment but then shakes it.

“Hi, I'm Jaebum,” he answers. In Jinyoung's opinion he reacts rather composed, considering the situation.

“The best friend and soulmate.” The amusement is noticeable in his voice.

“Y-Yes. And you're the sadistic fuck champ.” At that Mark bursts into ecstatic giggles. If this situation wouldn't be such a mess, Jinyoung would actually find it cute.

“I guess, yes.”

“Uhm, excuse me but.....uhm...,” Jaebum stammers and his eyes are fixed on Mark's upper body.

“Yeah?”

“Your chest, there.... you...uhm... still have some.... cum.” Jaebum points at the spatters of white. Jinyoung wails in embarrassment. This can't be happening for real.

Mark inspects his chest before he smiles at Jaebum again. “Oh thank you.” And then he makes everything worse by wiping the cum off with his finger and licking it clean. Jinyoung pulls the blanket over his head after he spots how Jaebum gulps after watching Mark and his daring actions.

“Oh....,” he only hears coming from his best friend. Jinyoung peeks out from under the blanket again to see how Jaebum’s eyes still linger on Mark's bare skin. Jinyoung doesn’t like it. Not one bit.

“Can't you try to be a bit less of a pervert in front of my best friend?” Jinyoung rants suddenly.

Mark looks at him, completely astounded. “Me? I'm sorry, Sugartoast, but it seems I have to inform you that your soulmate-best friend is the pervert here.”

“Hey!” Jaebum protests and is obviously shaken from his numbness.

“You persuaded me to have sex with you while he was present. Just who is the pervert here?” Jinyoung continues to blame Mark.

“You enthusiastically rode me while you were well aware that your best friend was right behind you. Do you seriously claim that you're better than me?”

“Can we at least agree that the pervert isn't me?” Jaebum cautiously remarks.

“Oh please,” Mark laughs. “I saw you enjoying the show. We even made eye contact in the midst of it and you still didn't put a stop to it. And don't think I didn't see your mesmerized eyes staring at how your best friend's gorgeous ass sucked in my cock again and again. The tent in your pants confirms it.”

It's true. The tent is pretty noticeable.

“Uuuhm....” is Jaebum's eloquent response.

“You were awake?” Jinyoung squeaks. “For how long?”

“Uuuhhhh... well..... for.... s-some t-t-time?” he stutters.

“I can't believe this,” Jinyoung huffs completely thunderstruck. “And you, you were aware?” he addresses Mark.

“He wasn't very subtle with his staring,” Mark casually states and shrugs.

“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO MONITOR HIM, BASTARD!”

“That's what I did.”

“BUT YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING THEN!”

“But what? Just stop? It was going so great. So I thought, if he wouldn't mind, I wouldn't mind either,” Mark explains, much too unfazed for Jinyoung's liking.

“I can't believe you guys. ROT IN HELL!” Jinyoung screams before he wraps himself entirely up in his blanket and lies down, facing the wall. Only his dark hair is still peeking out. Those two aren't supposed to see his burning cheeks. Why is he the only one who's mortified? The whole world should weep in embarrassment after what happened here today. Why is he hanging out with perverts? What the heck is all of this?

“Sugartoast, don't take this so serious. The world isn't going to end. Jaebum is obviously, I mean _obviously_ not grossed out or traumatized and we had great sex. What's there to be sulky about?”

“Go die, sadistic pervert sex demon.” His voice is muffled by the blanket but still audible enough for both boys to hear.

“I actually need to go now. But I won't go die. So we will meet again,” he chuckles.

“Where are you going?” Jinyoung uses his most sulky voice. He is curious but he hopes it wouldn't be that noticeable, if he would just sound offended enough.

“I'm meeting Jackson now. We will have a little chat and something to eat.”

“Jackson?” Jinyoung wonders and slightly turns around to glance at the boy who is in the middle of dressing himself.

“Yeah, we're friends. Remember?”

“Whatever,” Jinyoung huffs and turns back around as soon as Mark catches him staring. Mark chuckles again and Jinyoung wants to growl but the sound that comes out resembles more a pathetic baby growl and Mark and Jaebum both laugh at him. Great.

“It was nice meeting you, Jaebum. Also please make up with this cute lump here, otherwise I'm afraid he would never crawl back out of his blanket castle.”

“Sure I will. It was nice meeting you as well.”

“I'm sure I left a good impression on you,” Mark snickers.

“Above all, you left a deep impression.” They both laugh again. Jinyoung thinks they are idiots.

“Hey Sugartoast, cheer up. Eat something tasty, okay? And rest a bit.” Jinyoung feels something against his head. It's Mark, he presses a kiss to his hair before he moves down to do the same to his blanketed butt. This was actually a physical goodbye gesture. And this was a first, Jinyoung realizes, when he blinks in amazement in his little hideout.

After he hears the sound of the door shutting behind Mark, he feels the mattress dip under the weight of who is probably his best friend, or ex best friend now.

“Hey Jin-Jinnie,” he coos close to his head.

“Go away!”

“But I'm your Bum-Bummie.” Feigned, overdramatic sad voice. As if Jinyoung would give in to that after being friends with Jackson Wang for some time now.

“You're nothing to me. I don't even know you.”

“But I'm your best friend and soulmate, right?”

“You were. Now you're over, Im Jaebum.”

A deep sigh his heaved. “You know I won't leave, right? And talking to a blanket might amuse Mark but I would feel better if I would see your face.”

“I can't even look at you anymore!”

“If you keep hiding like this you really can't,” Jaebum jokes. Jinyoung clicks his tongue in annoyance but his friend only reacts with stupid snickering.

Jinyoung rolls on his back abruptly, careful to not destroy his blanket cocoon, to glare up at Jaebum. “I can't believe you kept silent an watched us like a porn movie.”

“Mark was right. You seemed so into it, I didn't want to interrupt.”

“Yeah, sure,” he snorts. “So since when?”

“Uuuhm... is this really important?”

“This friendship is over-”

“Okay okay. I'm honest with you. I was already awake when he talked you into doing it-”

“WHAAAAAT?”

“I'm sorry, okay?” Jaebum tries to pacify which is not easy because of the new flood of indignation that hit Jinyoung just now.

“WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?” he shrieks.

“I was just curious if he would manage to persuade you to do something this.... risky and brave. And after he did manage to achieve that, I wanted to speak up but damn, you both went in fast and then I... uhm... kind of started to watch and couldn't stop.”

“Pervert,” Jinyoung grumbles through gritted teeth.

“Have some mercy with me, okay? If you would have seen what I have seen. I admit that it was incredibly hot.”

“Pervert!”

His best friend guiltily shrugs.

“Honestly Jaebum, you're supposed to be the responsible one of us.”

“What makes you think that?” the boy wonders.

“I don't know. You just are. It can't be me, so it must be you.”

“To remind you, I'm the one who doesn't even know how to do his own laundry,” Jaebum laughs.

“Don't argue with me!”

“Fine. So you say a responsible friend isn't allowed to watch his best friend having sex. Did I get that right?”

“That should go without saying.”

“Obviously I am not the responsible one then.”

“Whatever,” Jinyoung huffs. “Let's try to forget about that and never talk about this day ever again.”

“You're still naked though.” Jaebum playfully pokes the blanket and Jinyoung squirms under it.

“Don't point that out. If we both ignore it, it doesn't exist.”

“Whatever you say,” Jaebum agrees in a singsong voice which indicates that he makes fun of Jinyoung. “So Mark.... he seems..... nice.”

“Nice? He called you a pervert.”

“Well... you called me a pervert 20 times in the last five minutes. You both aren't completely wrong about that,” he laughs. His best friend has the time of his life while Jinyoung wants to hide in a hole for the rest of his life. That can't be right.

“It irritates me how much fun you have with all of this,” Jinyoung utters dryly.

“And oh my god just how fucking hot is he? I know you said he was hot but I didn't expect _this!_ No surprise you can't keep your clothes on around him.”

“I thought we agreed on not talking about it anymore,” Jinyoung fusses.

“Just the truth. Also it was praise. Congrats for getting this pornstar-like boy for your private pleasure.”

“Uuuugh, thank you?”

“And so sexy, damn. When he talked you into this sex thing I was a second away from jumping him myself.”

“I know he's sexy. And he's mine, okay? Don't look at him like....” Jinyoung's voice trails off when he becomes aware of his own words. “No wait, he's not. Still not mine. We're still only sleeping with each other. Nothing more.”

“Oh... you're sad,” he points out. “I'm glad you finally talk about it. After you didn't want to go into detail earlier I was a bit worried. But you _do_ have feelings for him, right?”

“I.... don't know. Maybe. I'm still not sure myself. But it doesn't matter anyway because for him I'm nobody special.”

“Erm.... are you sure about this?”

“Pretty much.”

“Because while you were doing it just now-”

“STOP MENTIONING IT ALREADY!”

“No, let me finish. It's important. While you were doing it he had his hand on your ass and stared at me with this fierce look, it was like he wanted to say 'You're seeing this? This is mine, all mine and it will never be yours, loser'.

“H-Honestly?”

“Yes, it was super hot and a bit threatening. But it really seems to me that he wouldn't be a fan of sharing you. Did you ever confront him with the possibility of somebody else stealing you away?”

“No, I don't like those stupid games. I can picture that perfectly fine, me, trying to make him jealous and make a fool out of myself in the process. No, thank you.”

“That sounds kind of likely to happen, to be honest.” He chuckles when Jinyoung struggles to free his arm from the blanket to slap his shoulder. “I think the two of you would make a good couple. You seem so very close already.”

“Yeah? That's funny because I think we don't really click. But I really want us to click, I guess.”

“No way. You aren’t?” Jaebum wonders.

“No? At least I don’t think so. At least it’s not like I always imagined the perfect relationship to be.”

“Oh Jinyoung,” he sighs. “Maybe you should distance yourself a little from the perfect image of love in your head. It's a bit over-the-top romantic, you know? It always was.”

“What is wrong with romantic?”

“Nothing, I just say that reality most probably never will catch up to whatever fairy tale of a relationship you dream of. And as long as you don't accept that fact, you probably won't see anyone for real until he would act like the perfect image of a boyfriend in your dream. And that would be a shame. You could seriously miss out on things just because you don't give chances.”

“So you say Mark and I do click and I just try to convince myself that we don't because in my head I always imagined somebody perfect?”

“Now we're talking,” Jaebum praises and pats Jinyoung's hair while he's looking at him with a fond smile. “Does he make you happy?”

“What a strange question.” Jinyoung is caught off-guard. That's something he didn't think about yet. This whole conversation with Jaebum actually is a mini-enlightenment.

“Is it though?”

“He's rude and sadistic sometimes. He's also pretty shameless and very unpredictable. He doesn't like ice cream nor sweets in general, which is kind of outrageous. Also he's weird.”

“That might be the case but I didn't ask any of that. Do you like to spend time with him?”

“Yes.” Finally something Jinyoung can answer with certainty.

“He makes you smile, right?”

“Yes.”

“Do you think he cares about you?”

“I don't know,” Jinyoung mumbles. But certain situations come to his mind. Mark getting the taxi for him. Mark always listening to his chatter until the end. Mark asking how his courses are going. Mark making sure that Jinyoung would get a breakfast he likes. “I guess he does somehow.”

“And he fucks you good. I don't know what's the problem. Why don't you allow yourself to like him? How can you expect him to give this a chance, if you don't even give this a chance?”

“For somebody who just secretly watched us having sex, you're saying pretty wise things now,” Jinyoung grumbles and crosses his arms under the blanket.

“Yes, I'm a pervert but smart with feelings and shit.”

“Sounds super convincing when you phrase it like that.” Jaebum laughs, his loud guffaw where all his teeth are visible and his eyes vanish. Jinyoung can't suppress a smile at that and his best friend catches it. The latter lies down beside him and puts an arm around Jinyoung. “Don't do this. I'm still naked under the blanket.”

“You said if we ignore it, it doesn't exist. That's what I am doing, _soulmate_.”

“You're annoying.”

“And you're my cute soulmate,” he teases. “Sooooo..... Sugartoast, huh?”

“No! No, you don't. You won't ever say this again. You don't even know that this word exists in this world. Am I clear?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Stop smiling!”

“I'm just happy for you. Mark seems to be a good catch. But if you don't want him, I could-”

“Stop!”

“But-”

“No! No jokes allowed about this. Also I might have somebody for you and if you try to hit on Mark, I won't tell you about that somebody.”

“Oh? Interesting. Since when are you into matchmaking?”

“I'm not. It's just that.... you remember Jackson Wang, right?”

“Jackson Wang from high school, who is now your college friend, also apparently Mark's friend and who nowadays constantly tries to steal my best friend from me? This Jackson Wang?”

“Exactly. And no, he doesn't try this. He's a confident person who doesn't need to put that best friend label on anyone.”

“If you say so? Also I remember him having something going on with half the student body back in high school.”

“Uuuuuuhhhh, well he is a funny and energetic, very cheerful and attractive boy who-”

“Jinyoung?”

“Y-Yeah?”

“Just say what you want to say.”

“Fine,” he exhales. That's not how this was supposed to go. “He said he already thought of you as very handsome since a long time ago and he still thinks that and he kind of wants to know if you can imagine to meet up with him to.... get to know each other?”

“He has the hots for me?” Jaebum asks surprised.

“Pretty much, yes.”

“That's unexpected. Huh. But you're getting along great with him, right? And I do remember him as very good-looking.” Jinyoung simply nods along while he awaits the final conclusion. “Can you give me is number? I will think about this for a little and perhaps I'm gonna contact him.”

“Sure,” Jinyoung answers with raised eyebrows. “That was easier than expected.”

“Because I'm a hermit who hates people?”

“No, just... I don't know. I thought this would be hard but it's not.”

“Because you like to make things difficult with this pondering head of yours.” Jaebum gently pokes Jinyoung's forehead. “And if this thing with Jackson won't work out, I will come back to hit on Mark.”

“Get out!” Jinyoung rolls around one more time and pushes his friend off the bed. With a hearty laugh Jaebum falls on the floor.

“Don't be so sulky, Jin-Jinnie.”

“I said no joking when it comes to this and you still dare, Im Jae-fucking-bum. Now get out and don't jerk off to the memory of Mark and I having sex.”

“You can't control my thoughts,” Jaebum taunts and sticks out his tongue.

“Yes, I can!”

“You're seriously too cute,” Jaebum snickers. “Honestly, Mark would be an idiot, if he wouldn't snatch you away.”


	6. Six

Jinyoung is working on his assignment for more than an hour now. There's a silver lining on the horizon, he knows he will be done with it soon but he also is in desperate need of a break.

So there can't be a better moment for his phone starting to buzz. Even though he's sure it is just another Instagram notification or the like, he greedily reaches for the device. But when he realizes that it isn't a mere notification but a message from Mark, his heart skips a beat. They don't often use their phones to communicate. It always seems a bit dull when their interactions in person are always so thrilling. But that doesn't mean Jinyoung isn't absolutely beside himself with joy every time he sees Mark's name appearing on his phone screen.

Mark sent him a video file without another word of explanation. Jinyoung can't make out what this might be since it's password protected. But even before he can question it, there's another message.

**Mark HARDER HARDER:** password is our safe word

The curiosity is overwhelming him, so without thinking much Jinyoung activates the video with the help of 'Jackson'. But what he sees and hears then paralyzes him immediately. He sees himself, taking off his t-shirt. He sees himself, looking grumpy and confused while taking off his pants. He sees himself, his backside in full view when he sheds his boxer briefs. And this is the part when he overcomes his shock and flings his phone away as if it would be as hot as a baked potato. It lands on his bed with a soft thud.

He can't believe what he saw just now and when he thinks about that this was still the most innocent part of the whole video, a shudder runs down his spine. In panic, he suddenly realizes that he forgot to pause the video before throwing the phone away so he still hears Mark's deep voice coming from his bed. Jinyoung leaps at the device and pauses the film. He winces when he catches sight of himself, presenting his spit dripping fingers to Mark.

**Sugartoast:** HOW DARE YOU SENDING ME THIS????

**Mark HARDER HARDER: **I thought you wanted to see how sexy you look.

**Sugartoast:** SEXY WHERE?! I look like a delirious nutcase! (>_<)

**Mark HARDER HARDER: **Are we watching the same video? I only see sexy here.

Jinyoung feels how his head is getting hotter by the second. His cheeks and ears are probably already glowing with all the embarrassment and Mark's blatant praise. Such a bad combination for his health.

**Sugartoast: **I'm so embarrassed!

**Mark HARDER HARDER: **Why?

**Sugartoast: **The fact that you really ask WHY! This shouldn't need an explanation. ㅍㅅㅍ

**Mark HARDER HARDER: **I thought you would enjoy watching this. Because I enjoyed seeing this a lot already and I still am. Just give this a chance, Sugartoast.

**Sugartoast: **Fucking pervert bitch! ㅍㅅㅍ

**Mark HARDER HARDER: **Can you send me this as voice message?

**Sugartoast: **GOD NO STFU YOU DAMN FREAK! ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ

**Mark HARDER HARDER: **:)

Mark Tuan, just the most shameless freak under the sun. But Jinyoung's mind got dragged down into the gutter already and so he can't help but think about Mark and how he looks and what he does while watching the video. This alone is enough to make Jinyoung sweat. The way Mark would stare at his body and how his deep voice would sound. And that thought brings Jinyoung back to the bits of the video which he watched before. Only now he realizes that due to the fact that the phone was much closer to Mark than to himself, Mark's voice is very well audible. Jinyoung only contemplates for a few more seconds before he hits the play button again.

When he sees himself gripping his own dick and having this blissed-out facial expression he's immediately mortified. No, that doesn't work. He can't watch this. But he can definitely listen to it. So he makes himself comfortable on his bed, lying down and shutting his eyes with the phone nestled on his chest. He's careful not to cover the speaker in the process. And then he listens carefully. He listens to Mark's low voice and how it was affected by Jinyoung's performance. He listens to his ragged breathing and his words full of praise and adoration for Jinyoung. And those little noises. Those little groans and gasps are doing things to Jinyoung. God, Mark's voice is such a turn-on and he can't do anything against it.

His pants are getting tighter. Jinyoung thinks it's time to reward himself a little for all the work he successfully finished today. He lets his palm slide over his flat belly, down to his crotch. There is already a bulge forming in his pants. He rubs over it a couple of times and starts panting immediately in response to the sensation. He can't remember to ever got aroused this easily before he met a certain blond boy. This is his weird three-quarter god magic.

The touch to himself and Mark's voice bring back more memories of this specific situation.

His dick is twitching under his palm as he remembers the glint in Mark's eyes. The intense way Mark was staring at his naked body. His hungry eyes on him and the desire to have Jinyoung, he remembers everything only too well.

This is too much. He can't tease himself much longer. His hand sneaks into his pants and underwear. A thorough moan falls from his lips as soon as his fingers curl around his erection.

And when he hears Mark moaning the words that messed him up already the first time, he almost can't help himself anymore. “Sugartoast, you look so delicious, so fucking good, I want to fill you with my cum until you can't remember another dick anymore.” Jinyoung whines while he strokes his length at an inhumanely speed. He wishes Mark would be here. This certain nasty, very Mark-influenced part of himself even wishes he could record what he's doing right now and send it to Mark later. But no, he needs his phone for other purposes.

He's already a panting and moaning disaster. And when he hears Mark saying the next words with his wrecked, deep voice, it's over for him. “Come here, Sugartoast. I need you. No, don't stand up. Crawl.” With a choked whine he spills his cum into his boxer briefs and all over his hand. He struggles through his high. It's not the same as if Mark would send him to paradise but it's still very worthwhile and definitely a trip full of rapture.

It would all be fine and well if not for the annoying buzzing of his phone, which snaps him back to reality right away. The video automatically pauses due to the incoming call. For a second Jinyoung smiles to himself, thinking how Mark would call him to check if he had given that video 'a chance'. But to his personal horror, he discovers that the name flashing on the screen isn't Mark's. He quickly sits up and pulls his sticky hand out of his sticky underwear, suddenly feeling like a gross, pathetic loser.

He decides to answer the call with his clean hand.

“H-H-Hey mom,” he squeaks into the phone, followed by a silent sigh full of disrespect for himself.

“My Jinyoungie, how are you?”

“I’m doing good. How are you and dad?”

“Were you running just now? You sound so out of breath. Are you feeling good? Are you sick?” She immediately bombards him with her worry-stricken questions.

“No, no mom, I'm fine. Really. So how are you? How are you?” he blurts out and just prays that his mom won't catch on to his odd behavior.

“Good. But we miss you. You weren’t here in forever. And you promised to stop by for a whole weekend soon.” The reproachful undertone, Jinyoung is aware of. Usually he dropped in at his parents‘ house when he was visiting Jaebum, since they grew up in the same neighborhood. But as his visits are rare these days, he also sees his parents not as often anymore.

“I know. Soon, mom, soon. Just wait a bit until my coursework calms down, okay?”

“Alright. We don’t want to hinder your studies. It’s just… you didn’t come by much recently and… yes, we miss you.”

“I know, mom. I will come soon,” he reassures softly.

“Great. So what’s new in your life?”

“Nothing big. I doubt that you want to hear about the details of my courses.” Not even his friends want to hear that, how he had learned.

“No, I don't think I would understand too much anyway,” she laughs. “Have you found a girlfriend yet?”

Jinyoung heaves a very deep sigh. Now the usual part of the conversation starts which he always dreads. “No, mom. And as you know already, I don’t look for a _girlfriend_.”

“I'm sure there are a lot of pretty girls attending your university. I don't know how you can manage to stay single for so long and not fall for one of them,” his mom giggles. Jinyoung's face darkens. She just acts as if she wouldn't know. Like always.

“It's pretty easy since I only look for boys anyway.”

“There is this new member in my healthy-cooking club and she has a daughter the same age as you. She showed me a picture. Jinyoungie, she is cute. I'm sure you would like her.”

“Mom,” Jinyoung sighs. “We've been over this, and not only once but many times. I'm not looking for a girlfriend.”

“Oh please, Jinyoungie. Don't be like that,” she whines. “Don't be mean to your mom.”

“Mom,” he sighs again. “I never meant to be mean, but can we please change the topic?”

“Fine, but can you send me a recent photo of yours so I can show it to my new friend?”

“Mom......”

These conversations always give Jinyoung chills down his spine. In the beginning he hoped he would become numb to them with time, but he was wrong. It still hurts. A lot.

When he came out to his parents, three years ago, he was scared to the core. His parents were always rather conservative and he was afraid they would fail to understand and accept him. But there wasn't any other option. Jaebum and Jinyoung agreed on telling their parents on the same evening after discussing it for months. And Jinyoung really wanted to tell his parents. He was tired of hiding his true self from the people he loved the most.

So with all the courage he had to that time, he told his parents. And with all the confusion and irritation he witnessed in their initial reaction, he almost expected that they wouldn't come around. He never was that anxious ever before, and he wasn't that anxious after that ever again. But they said they loved him anyway, _despite_ him being gay. They said they accepted his _decision_. He mildly tried to argue, tried to make clear that it wasn't a decision he made, but an unchangeable fact. They seemed more confused then, so he gave up and was just happy that they didn't kick him out.

So yes, they said they accepted him. But unfortunately they never quite acted up to their promise. Instead they still tried to set him up with girls. Every time he started to only remotely talk about a boy they didn't know, they stonewalled him and the conversation.

Jaebum's parents took it a lot better. It was foreseeable. They always were the cooler parents, the more open-minded ones. From that day on Jinyoung naturally started to spend even more time with his best friend than before. So much, that Jaebum's parents even smirked at them and wiggled their eyebrows suggestively. After two months, both boys had to put their foot down and tell them that they weren't a couple and most probably won't ever be. Jaebum's parents were a bit disappointed at first but never stopped to be welcoming to Jinyoung.

That was his little refuge for the time being. Every time he sensed his parents' ignorance towards his sexual orientation, he fled to Jaebum's house. Even though he was sure his parents didn't do this intentionally, it still hurt. The day Jinyoung moved out of his family home and into the dorm building, it was like a burden was lifted from his shoulders and a new sense of freedom defined his life.

He sighs at the thought of having to return home for a full weekend. Not because he dislikes his parents. Not at all. Usually he gets along well with them. They are good people. But as soon as this topic is broached, he feels nothing but uncomfortable with them. Every phone call ends up being awkward like this and every visit turns out even worse. But there is no way he can avoid this visit forever.

So for now he somehow endures the conversation and is relieved when his mom finally ends the call. Now he feels dejected, despite the fun he had earlier with Mark's little video. He probably should go back to finish his assignment. But before that he should definitely clean himself up and change his clothes.

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

Jinyoung is immersed in a book when a knock at his door lets him snap to attention. After he marked the page and put his book safely away, he's rather surprised to see Alex waiting in front of his room.

“Hey.”

“Hey, Jinyoung.... uhm... can I come in?”

“Sure,” Jinyoung says and steps aside to let him in. “Wait, Jackson isn't fucking in your room again, right?”

“No no, he isn't,” Alex hurries to assure when he makes himself at home on Jinyoung's bed without hesitation. “I just thought we could hang out for a bit. I mean, if you're not busy. Are you busy? Am I disturbing you?” His big eyes become even wider at the prospect of being an interruption to Jinyoung's plans.

“No, it's fine. I was just reading, for fun not for my courses.” Jinyoung is slightly worried that this meeting will turn out as awkward as the first time Alex came over. Still, he thinks it would be rude to lie to him and send him away without a proper reason. So he just hopes that the boy loosened up a bit by now.

“Hey, I got some fun videos. Interested?” He looks so enthusiastic while he presents his phone to Jinyoung, so the latter can't hide the smile which comes to his face. Jinyoung ends his session of awkwardly standing in the middle of his own room and joins the excited boy on the bed.

Alex starts to play some prank videos and Jinyoung actually has fun watching them. It's nice to relax and laugh together. Only after some time he realizes that by now he's the only one who laughs when the people in the video scream and supposedly run for their lives. He cautiously tries to observe Alex from the corner of his eye. The boy seems tense, like he's on high alert. But for what reason, Jinyoung has no idea.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes!” he blurts out immediately and seems a bit shy right afterwards. Jinyoung just tries to ignore it and returns his attention to the video.

For another few minutes everything is calm, until Jinyoung feels fingertips softly touching his thigh. Now Jinyoung is the one on high alert. His focus immediately shifts from the funny scenes in front of him to the dubious scene in his lap. The soft touch of fingertips turns into a full palm which strokes his thigh now. Jinyoung doesn't know what Alex plans and he definitely doesn't know how to react. The boy who didn't know how to be nice to him because he had no idea how he should handle his own feelings suddenly turns into someone who would touch him so daringly without a warning. This can't be right. Something must be off. But while Jinyoung is still pondering, the hand moves higher and higher up his thigh. Jinyoung starts to squirm under the touch, feeling more uncomfortable than ever. He is just about to speak up when the hand suddenly rubs over his crotch.

He recoils in surprise and quickly swats the daring hand away. “Alex, what-” He is interrupted by the boy beside him, who leans in and presses his lips to his. For a few moments the surprise renders him immobile. His mind is too slow. The actions of the other boy don't seem to make any sense. But finally his mind catches up and requests his body to move. Jinyoung backs away from Alex. This quick movement makes him lose his balance and causes him to fall flat onto his mattress.

His shocked eyes stare into Alex's shocked eyes before new determination seems to seize the boy. He follows Jinyoung. In the blink of an eye Alex hovers above him, trapping Jinyoung with his body. Jinyoung feels sheer panic raging through him. He can't believe that this is actually happening. Alex leans down and tries again to kiss him. But Jinyoung can bring his hands up in time. He puts his palms against his chest and pushes him off, before the other boy is able to connect their lips. The startled Jinyoung quickly scrambles off the bed, stumbles and falls, but picks himself up again in no time. Back on his feet, he staggers into a neutral corner of his room. While catching his breath and trying to calm down the crazy panic inside of him, he stares at the frozen boy on his bed.

“Alex, what the freaking fuck?” Jinyoung is shaking, completely overwhelmed with the situation.

“I.... Jinyoung I..... oh my god. I thought you might want it as well... and... but... but you don't?” he asks, seeming uncertain and confused and disappointed and embarrassed all at once.

“Alex... fuck, you can't approach people like that! You can't just force yourself on people! Fuck!” Jinyoung feels like a big mess. His adrenaline level is acting up, his heart is pumping wildly after this unsettling situation. He rakes his fingers through his hair while he still tries to perceive what just happened.

“Jinyoung, I'm so sorry,” Alex pleads and crawls to the edge of the bed. When he stands up Jinyoung instinctively takes another step back. At that Alex sinks back down to sit on the bed. The expression on his face is a mix of sorrow and regret. “I am really sorry. To be honest, I liked you for some time now, basically since we met for the first time, but I didn't know how to tell you. I'm not good at conveying my feelings so.... I didn't know what to do. But you were so nice, always, and I couldn't help myself, I just fell deeper for you. You make it so easy to like you and..... I didn't know how to tell you so I talked to Jackson. He said I should just _show_ you how I feel about you instead. Soooo.... I tried.”

Jinyoung groans in defeat. “Alex,” he sighs. “Showing is not forcing yourself on me. Showing could be something like trying to flirt or giving little gifts or something like that.”

“I tried to flirt,” the boy says, obviously crestfallen.

“When?”

“When you fell on top of me that one time and I had my arms around you.”

“You pushed me off right after that and I dropped to the floor like a wet bag of cement.”

“Yes, okay, but I already said I'm not good at that. I didn't know what to do.”

“But you're talking to me about your feelings now. Why was it so impossible before?”

“Because now I obviously have to talk to you because I have to explain myself because I don't want you to hate me because I like you, Jinyoung. I really, really like you. And I'm sorry.” The boy looks so pitiful, Jinyoung almost feels sorry for him. “I didn't mean to force you to do anything. I just couldn't help myself. I know it was wrong. Please don't hate me. Please, Jinyoung, please forgive me.”

Jinyoung sighs and of course he gives in. At least the boy is aware that the way he handled everything wasn't ideal in the slightest. “Fine, I forgive you. Just promise me to not do something like this ever again, to anybody.”

“I promise!” the boy blurts out eagerly. His big eyes sparkle with hope as he blinks up at Jinyoung.

“Good.” Jinyoung walks over and stretches his hand out. “Forgive and forget.” The boy on the bed takes his hand into the both of his and cradles it as if it would be something valuable to him.

“Thank you, Jinyoung. I couldn't live with you hating me. But..... but what about my feelings for you?” Those big hazelnut-brown eyes gaze up at him with sparks of hope and fear dancing in them. Jinyoung purses his lips, trying to figure out how he can let him down gently.

But another knock at his door interrupts his thoughts. Alex still looks up at him, pleading, silently begging him to ignore it. Jinyoung doesn't want to admit it but he's actually glad that he doesn't have to come up with an answer right away. So he brushes aside the unuttered wish and frees himself from Alex's grasp to walk to the door.

As if the day didn't hold enough surprises for him so far, he sees Mark standing in the corridor.

“Hi-” Jinyoung tries to greet him. But without staring him down, without smirking at him, Mark quickly steps closer and wraps his arms around him He buries his face in Jinyoung's shoulder, his blond hair softly tickles against Jinyoung's cheek. The latter puts his arms also around the boy and hugs him just as tightly. This is so unlike Mark that it concerns Jinyoung a bit. “Hey, is everything okay?” he gently whispers. There is no answer while the hug continues for a few moments longer. Then Mark lets go of him and barely glances at Jinyoung before he squeezes himself past the room owner.

But as soon as Mark spots Alex, he freezes. And after a few seconds of what Jinyoung assumes is surprise, he straightens up and it seems like his whole demeanor changes abruptly. “You have a visitor,” Mark points out. Jinyoung notices that his voice sounds a bit different but he can't quite determine what the reason might be.

“Who is this?” Alex snaps when he glares at the intruder.

“Mark,” Jinyoung simply answers as he closes the door.

“I mean, what's your connection to him?”

But before he has a chance to do it himself, Mark answers for him. “Sorry, let me introduce myself. I’m Mark, Jinyoung’s long-lost twin,” he says with a seriousness which almost sends Jinyoung to the floor. With all his might he tries to hold back his giggles. “I see your confusion,” Mark continues speaking to Alex. “Please know that we're fraternal.” Now Jinyoung almost dies while he chokes with laughter. Like a walking miracle, Mark managed to ease his mind and the whole situation in no time.

But the glare Alex is flashing Mark is threatening. So Jinyoung clears his throat and slaps Mark's arm playfully. He tries to meet Mark's eyes, but after only a split second the other boy looks away. An alarm bell goes off in Jinyoung's head. This shouldn't happen. Mark never evaded his gaze. Never. Something is not okay.

“I'm sorry,” Mark continues to address Alex, “I was joking. I should know better than joking with somebody I don't know yet. Let me try again. I'm Mark, Jinyoung's friend.”

Jinyoung's friend who pounds him into the mattress on a regular basis, Jinyoung thinks. His smile fades as he presses his lips together into a thin line. Well sure, it wasn't nice of Mark to pull this twin-joke, but he also must not present his most charming smile to Alex now. Does he not know any middle ground? God, he's so attractive, Jinyoung fusses inwardly.

“And _you_ are?”

“Alex,” the still glaring boy retorts curtly.

“He's Jackson's roommate,” Jinyoung enlightens.

“Well, hello Jackson's roommate, Alex, who isn't in Jackson's room right now.”

“I'm Jinyoung's close friend,” the boy huffs defensively.

“Oh, even his _close_ friend,” Mark says, amused. But if Jinyoung isn't wrong there's a hint of bitterness in his voice. “I hope I wasn't interrupting anything.”

“Well, actually-”

“NO!” Jinyoung butts in quickly. “Of course not. We weren't doing anything. Just hanging out.”

Mark takes a look around. His eyes linger on his crumpled bed sheets. A very bad feeling bubbles up in Jinyoung's guts.

“Not anything, huh?” Mark asks, followed by a huffed laugh.

“We were talking,” Alex pipes up. “About a private matter.”

“Oh really? Jinyoung's private matter?”

“It's a private matter between the both of us,” the boy on the bed quickly answers, tone mildly hostile.

“Okay,” Mark relents, “I think I should go now.” He turns around and before Jinyoung can even react, he strides towards the door. When he walks past him, Mark softly brushes his hand against Jinyoung's and for a fleeting moment he gently entwines his pinky. Then he's gone and the feeling of warm skin lingers where Mark touched him just now.

“Mark, wait!”

Jinyoung takes a few steps to follow him but without turning around Mark opens the door and quietly points out, “You have a visitor, Sugartoast.” Just like that, he closes the door behind himself, leaving Jinyoung standing there, completely at a loss.

“Jinyoung?” Alex suddenly stands behind him and Jinyoung whirls around and takes another step back by instinct. Alex whimpers as Jinyoung's defensive body language seems to hit him like a slap in the face.

“Sorry,” Jinyoung says, feeling guilty again.

“No, you don't need to be sorry. It's okay. Just.... who was this guy really?”

“The guy I'm sleeping with.” Jinyoung has neither the motivation nor a reason to lie.

“Oh....” He sees how his words sink in and what they do to Alex. There is sheer disappointment evident on his face before he thinks of more words to say. “But you're only sleeping with him, right? Nothing more. Sex is... a fleeting thing.”

“Alex,” Jinyoung starts after taking a deep breath. “Mark and I, that's a confusing story. Something I can't explain in just a few words. But it has nothing to do with you and me. Alex, thank you for being open with me now. I'm glad and I feel honored to receive such precious feelings from you. But I'm afraid I can't return them. I don't feel the same way about you. I'm sorry.”

Alex swallows with downcast eyes. Jinyoung sees his lips slightly quiver. So this is how it feels to break a heart. Terrible. Dreadful. Absolutely awful. He hates this feeling. He wants it to end but he knows it is just starting.

Alex wipes his eyes with the back of his hand before he looks up. “But that doesn't mean that your feelings can't change, right?”

“Alex, I... I don't know what-”

“No, it's fine, Jinyoung,” the boy says and tries to put up a brave front with his hopeful smile. “You don't need to say more. And you don't need to feel sorry or pity me. I just have to do better. I have to win you over. And I will try my best.”

“Okay stop. We need a break here. I really can't promise any-”

“You don't need to promise me anything, Jinyoung. I told you, you don't have to feel guilty. I'm aware of your current feelings. And it's my own decision to try and change them.” Alex reaches out to squeeze Jinyoung's upper arm. With a last, admittedly tearful smile he walks out of his room.

Jinyoung is left in disbelief. Just how much confusion does he have to face?!

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

After Jinyoung recollected himself that day and sorted out some thoughts, he made his way over to Mark's apartment. Something was up with him and Jinyoung has to find out what it is. Also the fact that Mark might think there is something going on between him and Alex annoys him. He feels the undying urge to clear the situation up.

So after Jinyoung rang the doorbell, he can't wait for Mark to open the door. But nothing happens. Nothing. Jinyoung rings again. And again. And three more times. Still nothing.

Jinyoung somehow is sure that Mark must be home. Where would he go anyway? To his friend, Jae-Jae maybe. But when it would be something important, and it seemed that way, he probably would have tried his best friend before he would think about going to Jinyoung's place. So Jae-Jae was probably not available, he assumes.

The impatience is strong in Jinyoung so he starts to bang on the door. “MARK? MARK OPEN THE DOOR! MARK! MARK! MARK! MARK! MARK! MARK! MARK! MARK! MARK! MARK! MARK! MARK! MARK! MARK! MARK! MARK! MARK! MARK! MARK! MARK! MARK! MARK!-”

“What the fuck are you doing?” Mark hisses when he finally yanks open the door. Jinyoung is glad to see him, even though the boy is currently scowling at him.

“Calling out your name,” Jinyoung answers casually.

“This is annoying.”

“Why didn't you open the door right away? You could have spared your neighbors the clamor and me the embarrassment,” Jinyoung explains, pretending to be calm.

“I'm not obligated to open the door just because somebody feels the need to ring the doorbell. So what are you doing here? We just saw each other.”

“You were weird. I wanted to check on you.”

“Check on me?”

“Yeah, I'm worried.”

“Not necessary.” He tries to shut the door but Jinyoung is quick enough to slide himself between door and doorframe before that happens.

“Hey, can I come in?”

“No.”

“I still come in,” Jinyoung decides and shoves himself past the apartment owner. With all his might he tries to stay strong and not let Mark's attitude, which drips with rejection, defeat him. By now he knows that the blond can be difficult to handle but he won't let Mark push him away just like that. “What is this smell? Are you drinking?” He sniffs at Mark when he's close to him. There is definitely the smell of booze detectable.

Silence. No answer. Just Mark's hard stare. Fine. Jinyoung gets rid of his shoes and walks into the living room without being invited. And then he spots the bottle of whiskey on the coffee table. His question is answered.

“Mark, you once told me it's bad to drink alone and now this?” Jinyoung fusses as Mark catches up with him.

“Whatever.” He simply shrugs. His unchanging sullen expression worries Jinyoung only more.

“What is going on with you?”

“Nothing.”

“Mark! Something is obviously wrong with you. I mean something else than usually because you never make sense and I never know why you are so weird but-”

“Are you here to insult me?”

“Nooooo, something is up with you and, the fuck, I want to know what it is. And I want to know it now.”

“Why do you think you're entitled to make such a request?”

“Because..... because I always take your fucking cock so I can take your problems as well,” Jinyoung snaps.

This wasn't the most valid argument he could have put forth, he is aware, but it works anyway. He sees it, the tiny smile that Mark can't suppress on time. But right away he goes back to his annoyed state.

“I don't have to tell you anything.”

“That's.... that's true but.... you could. You could tell me because I'm here to listen to you,” Jinyoung now tries more gently.

Silence.

“Look, I'm not an idiot. I mean, I sometimes am, but I'm not dumb. I realize that you're holding back certain things which you, for some reason, don't want to tell me. But if you have some problems you want to talk about with someone, you know, I could be that someone,” Jinyoung appeals to him with a mellow voice and a tiny pout. He knows Mark likes the pout.

Silence. But he's wavering, Jinyoung sees it in his eyes which start to soften. This is good. Just a little bit more. He needs to push Mark just a tiny bit further. Jinyoung quickly snatches the whiskey bottle and takes a long swig from it.

“What are you doing?” the blond asks, baffled.

“If you don't want to talk to me, I at least make sure that you won't keep drinking this,” Jinyoung explains in a hurry before he grimaces. “And oh my god, did you win this at the funfair or something? This is _terrible_. EEEW! Like some old witch home-brewed this in her bathtub. What the fuck! Eeeeew! You'd think somebody with a huge apartment like this could afford some quality liquor at least.”

Mark stares at him in disbelief. “I can't believe you're doing this.”

“Watch me.” Jinyoung drinks more. His taste buds are hating him already. His insides are twisting and turning, his throat is rebelling at the horrific taste.

“Okay, Sugartoast, this ends now.” Mark tries to take the bottle from Jinyoung but he steps back to avoid it.

“No!” Jinyoung takes another slug of alcohol.

“You're obviously not aware that I have two more of those bottles in the kitchen.”

His jaw almost drops open at that. Only at the very last moment he reminds himself that it would be aesthetically unpleasing and also kind of rude to splutter the whiskey all over Mark's living room floor. He stares at the blond with a mix of disappointment and outrage. “I hate you,” he says after swallowing the alcohol, staring at the blond boy in bewilderment.

Mark snickers. That's it. That was the trick. Jinyoung made it. He broke down Mark's defenses. Thank heavens. He couldn't have drank more of this tormenting liquid.

The blonde takes the bottle from Jinyoung and places it on the coffee table. Jinyoung takes a seat on the couch and pulls Mark down with him. “So, what happened?”

Mark doesn't answer. But Jinyoung sees it's not because he doesn't plan to. He just needs some time to phrase it. “It's dumb. It's literally nothing. I probably overreact anyway.” He gnaws at his bottom lip. It's very rare to see Mark this insecure.

“If it affects you this much, it can't be nothing. Just try to tell me, Mark.”

He heaves a long sigh before he finally speaks. “My mom called earlier. Our family dog died this morning.”

“Oh, I'm so sorry. That's very sad.” Jinyoung looks at him sympathetically and immediately reaches out to take his hand. His thumb rubs small circles into his skin, a silent encouragement to get him to continue talking.

“He was already 100 years old or some shit. I guess it was time for him to go,” Mark tries to play it down right away. “Hey, why are you crying?” Mark looks at him rather shocked. But Jinyoung can't help it. In his opinion, pets are family members. If a pet dies, especially after it was part of the family for a long time, it is absolutely worth to cry over.

“Why aren't _you_?” he snivels. “It's okay to be sad, you know?”

“I'm not _that_ sad. I'm normal.”

“Okay, normal Mark, it's okay to be sad. Come on, cry!”

“I don't want to. Leave me alone,” he huffs and pulls his hand away from Jinyoung's touch.

“I see that you're sad. Just let go.”

“Shut up.”

“I guess you already played with your doggo when you were just a small bean, huh? I guess you had such a good time together and there were probably phases in your life when he was even your best friend, right? Like when there was a scary thunderstorm and you would snuggle with your doggo to feel safe?” Jinyoung suggests amid tears.

“You're out of your mind,” the blond mumbles but Jinyoung sees his eyes already sparkling with wetness.

“What was his name?”

“Giovanni.”

“Giovanni,” Jinyoung repeats a bit surprised.

“Yeah. Something wrong with Giovanni?”

“Noooo, I assume Giovanni was the best Italian dog out there. What breed was he?”

“A golden retriever.”

“Oh how cute. I'm sure he was so good-natured and cuddly and you watched him grow up and he watched you grow up and now.... now you have to let go and it fucking hurts,” Jinyoung snivels.

“Jinyoung...,” he sighs. “Why do you do this to me?” And there is the first thick teardrop sliding down his cheek. Jinyoung is sure there are more to follow.

“Because it's a very good reason to be sad and even cool, normal Mark Tuan can be sad when he loses his companion. And to suppress your feelings will get you nowhere, so just be sad, okay?”

“Shit....” And with this Mark lets go and tears spill down his face, uncontrolled. Jinyoung pulls him close so that they can cry together over the lovable Giovanni. His arms wrap around Mark, he holds him tight and just lets his tears flow freely. He strokes his back to soothe him a little, to let him feel that he's there for him, that crying is okay, that he will stay even if Mark shows his emotions. This is okay. Being human is okay.

So they sit and cry together in silence, apart from sobbing and sniveling sounds and Jinyoung's little noises of reassurance. After what feels like an hour, Mark seems to have cried out most of his sadness for now. Jinyoung still holds him in his embrace but neither of them is drowning in tears anymore.

“Hey Mark?”

“Hmmm?” he hums and straightens up a bit to look at Jinyoung with his red, swollen eyes. Jinyoung thinks he still looks attractive.

“You initially came over to my place to tell me, right? About Giovanni?”

“Kind of. I just didn't want to be alone with it somehow. Selfish, I know.”

“No, it's not. It's perfectly relatable. But that means you didn't even plan on telling me?”

“I don't know. Maybe it would have been enough..... just to be with you.”

“Oh,” Jinyoung whispers. He likes the sound of it. Even though it's still a vague statement, he likes it. “Dummy, you really thought you could hide that from me?”

“Not really hiding. But at least I thought I would be able to not tell you anyway, no matter how much you would bother me about it. I underestimated you.”

“You're welcome, sad boy,” Jinyoung says playfully and pokes him in the ribs.

“Thank you, Sugartoast.” Jinyoung didn't expect such sincere words of thanks combined with such a sweet smile. So maybe he looks a bit stupid now as he stares at Mark, once again overwhelmed by the boy. “So what was up with that peculiar boy in your room?”

“Oh... that...yeah. Before we start talking about this, do you have any other drink apart from this witch whiskey there? I guess we both would need something now.”

“So bad, huh? Fine, change of scene. Let's move to the kitchen. We cried too much here on the couch anyway.” Mark pulls Jinyoung up with him and guides him towards the mentioned room. “I don't have ingredients for a fruity cocktail though.”

“I didn't expect that. What about vodka? Do you have vodka? But good one, not the cheap supermarket vodka.”

“Yes, Your Highness. Of course, Your Highness.” Mark bows in front of him with the cheekiest grin, before he grabs a bottle of quality vodka from the freezer.

“What? I'm not a fan of headaches, especially when they are self-induced,” Jinyoung reasons and finishes with a pout.

Mark gets them glasses and pours the spirit. They sit down at the small kitchen table and both toss the shot down before Mark fills their glasses anew.

“So this doll boy has a crush on you. Even I would notice that during this very brief time I spent with him. He has heart eyes for you. But the way he looks at your body, it's plain lewd. _He_ looks at your body like _I_ look at your body and believe me, he wants to fuck with you day and night.”

Jinyoung suddenly cheers up a lot. He's sure that it's not because yet another person points out how huge Alex's crush on him is, but rather that Mark admits openly how attractive he finds Jinyoung. Not that this was a secret. Mark makes it very often very clear. But it's still nice to hear him saying it so bluntly once again.

“Yeah, that kind of was the point of this whole situation earlier.”

“Oh? Elaborate?”

“It all started with him trying to kiss me out of the blue and.... it was rather forceful and persistent.”

“This little shit,” Mark grumbles and drinks the second shot. Jinyoung decides to wait a little. He had too much of this disgusting whiskey before.

“I managed to push him off and then he was terribly sorry and then he confessed to me.”

“Oh wow.... a rather eventful afternoon you had there,” Mark mumbles into his glass.

“Yep.”

“And what did you say to him? After the confession?”

“Then you showed up.”

“So I barged into a confession? Perfect timing, Tuan,” Mark scolds himself and hits his forehead with his palm. It's just so cute that Jinyoung's tipsy self smiles at Mark like he just got the moon and the stars and the sun (as a bonus) for him.

“Yes, that was why Alex seemed so irritated. He's not a bad guy.”

“Of course not. I mean he tried to force himself on you. But _of course_ not.”

“Yeah,” he quietly agrees. The sarcasm was obvious but Jinyoung chooses to ignore.

“So what did you say?”

“Huh?”

“The confession, Sugartoast! What did you say to this boy after I was gone? Come on!” Mark seems a bit impatient suddenly. Jinyoung tilts his head while his mind travels back to that uncomfortable situation.

“I told him that I don't feel the same for him what he feels for me.”

“Poor thing,” Mark says with a tiny smirk on his lips. His lips look pretty. And delicious. And soft. Jinyoung decides to drink another vodka shot.

“But then he smiled at me and said that he will find a way to make me fall in love with him.”

“_Stupid,_ poor thing.” The smirk is gone.

“You don't think he can?” Jinyoung taunts.

“No.”

“Because?”

“Just a hunch. You don't seem to be a good fit for each other.”

“You literally just witnessed us a couple of minutes together.”

“I said it's just a hunch, right? It's not based on scientific evidence. But is he even your type?”

“Hard to say. I don't really have a specific type.”

“I mean, he's kind of good-looking but he's a very special type of guy.”

“Wait..... is he _your_ type?” The thought alone baffles him, but when he thinks about it, he doesn't know much about Mark's visual preferences.

“Holy shit, no,” Mark scoffs.

“Why not?” Jinyoung hopes the great relief is not that noticeable in his voice.

“Too.... _everything_.”

“Explanation?”

“Too soft. Too fragile. Too immature. Too big eyes. God, _definitely_ too big eyes. Shit.”

“What?” Jinyoung giggles. “What do you mean?”

“You know, I love big eyes. They are beautiful. But he is overdoing it. You feel like he's always observing you, like a fly on the wall. Yeah, that's it, eyes like a fly. You can't shake these eyes off. It's unpleasant. And you would always ask yourself: is he able to close his huge eyes quick enough before fine dust or rain or whole flocks of birds would get into them? Like how is he doing this? You would end up thinking about it day and night.”

“I really can't with you,” Jinyoung laughs and collapses on the the table, head hiding in his arms. “You definitely are overreacting sometimes.” His voice is muffled and barely audible as he speaks into the fabric of his sweater, but he sees Mark smiling when he takes a peek at him.

“You know who has perfect eyes? You. You have perfect eyes. Big, but not worrisome big, and always glittery and deep, a little mysterious but always attentive. Just perfect. Top tier. Chef's kiss. World class eyes.”

“Oh....uhm, thank you,” Jinyoung stammers at the unexpected compliment.

“That blush is cute, Sugartoast, but let's get back to the main question. Do you want to fuck with fly-eyes Alex?”

Jinyoung only wants to fuck with Mark. That's basically it. Everyone else became unattractive for him after he started sleeping with Mark.

“I can't really imagine it, no.”

“Okay. So whatever he has in store to make you fall for him, I hope it won't include another physical attack.”

“I think he's over that.”

“Good. I'm sure you could chokeslam his pathetic ass anyway,” he says with a lopsided grin.

“Yeah, probably,” Jinyoung chuckles. “Mark? I'm tired. I want to go to sleep.” After he cleared up the situation with Alex, after all the crying and the alcohol, Jinyoung's body and mind equally start to feel heavy with fatigue.

“Oh, okay. Should I get you a taxi?”

“I want to go to sleep _here_.”

“No taxi, alright. But we won't....”

“I'm tired.”

“Yes, you're tired. We will go to sleep like normal people today.”

“Without ripping each other's clothes off.”

“And without being all sweaty and gross. Okay, that's unusual but I think we can manage. Then let's get you to bed, Sugartoast.” The smile is so pretty. Jinyoung hopes this smile can be the last thing he looks at before he shuts his eyes before sleep.

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

The next morning, Jinyoung wakes up, feeling warm. A nice coziness surrounds him which makes him feel safe and simply happy.

When he opens his eyes for the first time, he doesn't see much. Jinyoung slowly realizes that his forehead is pressed against the nape of Mark's neck. Gorgeous, almost naked Mark Tuan lies next to him, rolled on his side, and Jinyoung is behind him. They both only wear their underwear and that means that in this position a great expanse of their bare skin is touching. One of Jinyoung's arms is wrapped around Mark's middle to keep him close against his front. A brilliant situation to wake up in, with Mark next to him instead of being all alone and left behind.

He gently presses his lips against the soft skin of Mark's nape. He tries to do it as lightly as possible but he really needs to. Jinyoung tries to contain himself. No nibbling, no sucking, just gentle kissing and enjoying Mark's morning scent.

“Good morning, Sugartoast.” Jinyoung slightly winces. The raspy voice, so surprising but also very sexy.

“Y-You're awake?”

“Yeah, for a while already.”

“Oh.... of course, Mr. Vampire. Of course you're awake,” Jinyoung teases and now sucks gently on the skin of the back of Mark's neck. Now he's awake anyway so there is no need to be careful anymore.

“Pffff... whatever,” he hears Mark playfully huffing. It's a bit weird, in this position he doesn't see his face but since he's so close, Jinyoung feels every little move, every breath, the vibration of every word coming out of his body.

“But thank you for still being here beside me, instead of leaving me to wake up all alone.” Jinyoung tenderly places small kisses on his neck and across Mark's shoulder blade.

The blond sighs deeply. Jinyoung feels that as well under his touch, instead of simply hearing it. “You shouldn't have to thank me for that.”

“But it's the first time that it happens and I have to tell you that I enjoy this a lot.”

“That's good. Me too. Sorry for leaving you so many times before.” Jinyoung notices how he snuggles deeper into his chest. The arm he has around Mark follows the movement until he's pressing the other even more against himself. Jinyoung strokes Mark's flat tummy and enjoys the feeling of smooth skin and warmth. The wildcat is tame this morning.

Often Jinyoung forgets that Mark is a little smaller than he is and also a tad narrower when it comes to his shoulder width. Mark’s movements are always strong, always confident and convincing. He never leaves room for questioning the strength of his body or mind. He always manages to come across as bigger than the mere sight of his body would let him. His charm and confidence are extremely captivating and Jinyoung knows for quite some time already that he's defenseless against the unique magic of Mark Tuan.

“Hey Sugartoast?”

“Hmmm?” he hums against his spine.

“Do you want to fuck me?”

Jinyoung freezes immediately. The question was soft-spoken, barely audible. Did he hear that even correctly?

“You don't have to, if you don't want.”

“I want!” So he did hear that one right. It just came as such a surprise that he almost couldn't believe it. On the other hand, was there ever a day when Mark didn't surprise him?

“Okay okay.” Giggling follows Mark's amused statement and Jinyoung feels the vibrations coming from Mark's upper body against his own chest.

“Can I see your face before?” Jinyoung asks softly.

“Why?”

“Because I want to make sure that it's really you and not some kind of alien or glittery vampire who took your place.”

“You're ridiculous.” He sighs but turns his head. Jinyoung props himself up on his forearm to be able to look down at Mark. And what he sees leaves him breathless. Mark looks up at him and flashes him the brightest smile while his blond locks are falling across his forehead. God, he is the most beautiful boy in the entire world, Jinyoung thinks. He must be. Mark’s smile always dazzles him. But right at this moment, with his wide smile and his bright eyes with little crinkles forming around them, with this look of pure excitement on his handsome face, right now Jinyoung can’t help but be completely shell-shocked by his charisma. All of this together makes him look like the perfect angel boy. Yes, Jinyoung thinks, maybe he was wrong. Maybe he isn't a vampire or sex demon but just a mislead angel. And fuck, Jinyoung is in love.

It floods him like a tidal wave, the realization that this boy is what he wants. He wants him wholly and all for himself. And he wants him to want him back just as much.

“What's up, Sugartoast? Everything okay? Your anime eyes tell me there's something going on.” Mark kisses his own fingertip and then lifts his hand to poke Jinyoung's cheek with the blessed finger. This snaps Jinyoung out of it. This, and his heart which flutters like a maniac butterfly in his chest.

“You're perfect.”

Mark laughs. He laughs and then shakes his head before he rolls back on his side so that the beautiful view leaves Jinyoung's field of vision way too soon. “I am not. Really not.”

“For me, you are.”

“You don't know what you're talking about. But that's okay.”

Jinyoung lies back down behind Mark. It's still difficult to perceive that he now knows that he's officially in love with this mysterious boy. But it's also a thrilling feeling, one of freedom and relief since his confused thoughts finally resulted in a clear conclusion. What he would do with this conclusion now, that's another story.

But he surely won't let the chance slip by to enjoy Mark's body once more. Jinyoung's hand slides down Mark's side, reveling in the feeling of smooth, warm skin under his palm. He passes his hip and caresses his hip bone a few moments with gentle touches. His fingers linger a bit on the soft skin of Mark's lower abdomen. Then his hand creeps further down. The moment his fingers encompass the prominent bulge in Mark's boxer briefs, a shudder of anticipation rushes through his body.

“You're so turned on already.”

“How can I not when your rock-hard dick rubs against my ass all morning?!” Mark points out.

Jinyoung thinks he really needs to learn how to control his rubbing thing better. This kink, which he noticed only thanks to Mark, truly seems to take control over Jinyoung's body more and more.

“Oh... right... sorry?”

“Nah, it feels good. Just get it on but..... be soft.”

“You always slam me into the next galaxy and now you want it soft?” Jinyoung questions in amazement.

“Yeah. Problem?”

“N-No. I was just.... surprised.”

“Isn't it good that I don't bore you yet?” Mark chuckles and Jinyoung just gives his ass a little slap in return. As if Mark would ever be able to bore him with his unpredictable actions and statements.

And no, Jinyoung really doesn't have a problem with soft sex at all. This request, coming from Mark of all people, just surprised him. But he likes soft, it's nice for a change.

The first thing he does is getting rid of both their underwear and fetching the lube from the little bedside cabinet. Then he lies back down behind Mark. Now that they both are fully naked it even feels a hundred times nicer than before to be this close. His hard cock presses against Mark's ass now without the hindrance of fabric. Jinyoung continues to rock his hips in tiny circles against Mark's backside.

He nuzzles at the back of his neck again while his fingers glide across the firm roundness of Mark's ass. Those muscled butt cheeks feel so good, so delicious, Jinyoung feels the desire bubble up in him to do more to them. But for now he moves on along the back of his thigh. Wherever Jinyoung touches him, he feels like the most perfect human, a splendid mix of smooth skin, slightly palpable bones beneath that skin, beautiful strong muscles and small curves.

He could fondle him like that for an eternity but his dick demands more. So he quickly pours some lube on his fingers before he positions them against Mark's butt. He lets his fingertips trail over his hole. He teases him a bit, poking his tight ring of muscles without actually going in.

But before he can react, Mark reaches around himself, grasps Jinyoung's hand and shoves his fingers inside. A fierce grunt leaves Mark's lips while Jinyoung only stares at the back of his head.

“I thought you wanted it soft?”

“Yeah, but I also wanted you to finally start. I need you inside me, Sugartoast. Fingers are okay for now but I want the real deal soon.”

Even when Mark is bottoming he calls the shots, Jinyoung realizes. He also realizes that it doesn't annoy him in the slightest. He finds demanding and leading Mark rather sexy. So Jinyoung happily complies and fucks Mark with his fingers. The little noises coming from the blond are so enjoyable to listen to, it's like a private concert of bliss, only for Jinyoung to hear.

He strokes Mark's walls and revels in the way the boy reacts to his fingers twisting inside of him. Most of the time it's Jinyoung, reacting to whatever Mark decides to do to him. Once in a while it's nice to have it the other way around.

Mark pushes his ass back, requesting more when he obviously got comfortable pretty quickly with three fingers inside him.

“Your dick, Sugartoast. Give it to me,” he hears Mark pant. Wordlessly Jinyoung removes his fingers and takes his hard cock into his hand to playfully slide it between Mark's ass cheeks a few times. The blond moans in anticipation and that sends tingles through Jinyoung's whole body. He would love to tease him a little more, but unfortunately he has way less control over his sexual urges than Mark does. So the lube is called into action again when he prepares his erection for the mission.

“How about giving me better access?” Jinyoung whispers into Mark's ear. Not a second later Mark rolls himself onto his stomach while folding his legs underneath his body. This is a sight to behold, Jinyoung thinks. He thinks that a lot when it comes to Mark but he never saw his alluring body in this position, so flexible, so offering, so very desirable that Jinyoung has difficulties to keep his cum in.

Mark slightly turns his head to glance back at Jinyoung who kneels behind him. And yes, he catches him staring at his ass, and no, Jinyoung doesn't care. “You coming, Sugartoast?”

Yes, almost, Jinyoung thinks, but not how Mark wants him to. “I can't believe you're real,” Jinyoung murmurs while he attaches himself to the boy. Mark only chuckles a bit while closing his eyes. Jinyoung curls his fingers around his base to press his tip against Mark's entrance. Heavenly is the feeling of his head pushing past his tight rim. And slowly, very slowly he pushes himself into the boy while watching his back arch more and more in the process.

Mark's hot tightness around him overwhelms his mind. It feels like every single one of his thoughts would be enwrapped in white noise. To feel this part of Mark has its own kind of attraction and Jinyoung is glad that it wasn't a once-in-a-lifetime experience. A long-drawn-out moan spills from his lips during the time it takes him to sink into Mark. The blond on the other hand chokes on his groans and grunts while he obviously tries to cope with the new size. But like the first time, Jinyoung is surprised at how quickly he can get used to it and how little of a fuss he makes.

His hands on Mark's hips are pulling him up a little more to make it easier for Jinyoung. The latter admires the image of his own fingers, digging into the unblemished flesh. And he simply can't keep his eyes away from this alluringly curved spine in front of him.

“Okay,” Mark gasps. “Start. But slow and soft.”

“Lord knows, I'll try,” Jinyoung breathes, his voice already laced with a hint of desperation. In response he hears Mark's quiet giggles and a smile also makes its way to Jinyoung's lips.

He pulls out, almost all the way, then pushes back in as slow as he can manage. It's a bit of a torture for him, but Mark seems to highly enjoy it. “Yes, Sugartoast, yes, like this. Gorgeous,” he hears him mumble into the pillows. His long fingers dig into the sheets, gripping them hard as if he would be very upset with them.

Jinyoung continues like this, even when he feels that the process almost kills him. From the way he's still kneeling upright behind him, he has a good view of his cock sliding in and out of Mark. The sensation and the sight make his breathing unsteady and his mind screaming for more. Coherent thoughts are a luxury he is not allowed to have anymore. His willpower is already falling apart.

He can't watch this anymore. He would come just from watching Mark's firm ass sucking in his dick. In the absence of a better solution, he bends over, nestling his chest against the slope of his back while he wraps his arms around Mark's middle. He presses his face into his hot skin, moaning quietly against it.

He loves being so close to Mark, to hold him like this or being held by him. It's like sensing the sheer pulse of life, to be in the middle of its vibrant sensations rather than standing on the sidelines to only watch things happen. It's nearly incredible to feel all of he boy underneath him who, over the course of the past weeks, became his greatest strength and his most dangerous weakness all at once.

Again Jinyoung plunges his cock into him, trying his best to do it slow and gentle but can't hold himself back to go in balls deep. A beautiful low moan comes from the blond and Jinyoung knows he did something very good. He definitely brushed over his sweet spot and Mark is reacting wonderfully.

“Sugartoast, again!” he croaks. Jinyoung loves to provide this service and aims for the same spot again while placing wet kisses onto his back. Mark's whole body trembles underneath his mouth when he hits his golden spot again.

“STAY! DON'T MOVE!” Mark demands. Jinyoung tries, he really tries but in his bliss of Jinyoung continuously attacking his pleasure spot, Mark clenches around him and this robs him all his senses.

“Mark,” he whimpers. “Markohgodfuck!”

“Good boy,” Mark moans. “You're such a good boy for me.” In constant small movements, Mark pushes his ass back and fucks himself on Jinyoung's dick. His desperate noises of pleasure destroy the last bits of control which Jinyoung tries to cling to.

“Mark,” he whines into his skin, “please, I want to move. I... I can't take it much longer.”

“A little while. Just a little while longer,” he gasps frantically. “Then you can do whatever you want. Promise.”

So Jinyoung continues to suffer, just for Mark. The blond starts to squirm under him, pushing himself even more into Jinyoung. The later tightens his arms around him. Tears are dropping from Jinyoung's eyes. He usually isn’t that much of a weeper, at least not during sex. He has no idea what it is about Mark that makes him this vulnerable. But at least one kind of body fluid is allowed to flow freely, he thinks. The wetness hits Mark's back and as soon as he realizes what it is, a strangled-sounding, low “Fuck” comes from the blond while he slams one fist into the mattress beside him. “Okay, move. Don't have to be soft now. Just do it!”

Jinyoung utters a deep sigh of relief before he pulls back and starts straight out rutting into Mark. “Yes, Mark, oh god, you feel so good, so perfect around me,” Jinyoung pants. He faintly wonders if Mark even caught what he said between all of the moans which mixed into his words. Anyway, Mark definitely feels how good he is for Jinyoung as he slams into him. He's still careful to hit his golden spot every time which is turning Mark into a frenzied mess under him.

He loosens his grip around him and reaches down to take Mark's leaking cock into his hand. Mark's hips are jolting when Jinyoung starts to stroke him roughly. An angry sounding noise climbs up the boy's throat as a reaction to this overstimulation. Jinyoung understands. They are a choking, moaning and sweaty mess and their heads have a hard time to catch up with all the desire and the sea of bliss.

Jinyoung is on the verge of ecstasy. There's no way he can keep himself from plunging right into it for much longer. He's digging his thumb into Mark's slit while thrusting into him hard. The next second Mark comes undone under him. He spreads his cum all over his hand while his body trembles in his embrace. Desperate groans are filling the air while he once again traps Jinyoung's dick in his ass. That's it. Jinyoung sees stars while his cum gushes out and into the boy he loves.

He holds Mark tightly, all the way through their shared delight, until only their gasps for air are audible. Jinyoung carefully pulls out and rolls on his back. Only seconds later Mark bends over him from above with a huge smile on his face.

“Hey,” Jinyoung says softly and smiles back at him.

“Hey,” Mark answers and dips down to lick the remains of tears from his cheeks.

“This was.... unusual.”

“It was perfect,” Mark decides, still smiling before he pecks Jinyoung on the lips. “How about breakfast now?”

“I'm still lazy. I don't want to go anywhere,” Jinyoung whines.

Mark giggles again. Jinyoung could listen to his high-pitched trademark giggle all day. “We don't need to go anywhere. I have food here.”

“Food... I like?” Jinyoung asks doubtfully and Mark simply chuckles again.

After they cleaned themselves up a little, not very thorough but nobody is there to judge, they throw on some clothes and venture into the kitchen.

Jinyoung is surprised when he witnesses Mark pulling out toast, butter and sugar. But he's not done yet. From his kitchen cabinet he produces an unopened jar of strawberry jam with a cute “Ta-dah” and an exaggerated TV host-gesture to showcase the item in front of him.

“Wow, Mark Tuan..... since when?”

“I stocked up for sweet-loving boy Park Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung is just about to praise him when he falters. “That's awes-... Wait, how do you know my last name?”

“Jackson told me,” he simply answers while starting to make coffee.

“Ah yes, you met up with him. How was it?”

“Good.”

“What did you talk about?”

“Things.”

“Did you talk about me?” he questions curiously.

“We might.” The boy turns around and offers him a teasing grin.

“Am I not entitled to know what was talked about me?”

“I don't think so, no,” Mark mocks. “You just have to know that Jackson is a very good friend and he's worried about you, but for all the wrong reasons.”

“That's still too vague to make anything out of it,” Jinyoung complains and pouts a bit at the kitchen table. Mark is obviously very amused by that.

“Then let us change the subject. How are you doing with your studying? And was this Nadezhda girl embarrassing everybody else again with her super brain?”

Jinyoung immediately cheers up when he realizes that Mark, unlike Jackson or Jaebum, remembers the details of his usual elaborations and also seems interested in the latest developments. So he starts to talk about everything which comes to mind. Mark listens intently to him while Jinyoung enjoys his favorite breakfast with the boy he is in love with.

When Jinyoung is ready to leave, he feels a bit awkward. He doesn't want to go but he has a course to attend. Mark accompanies him to the door and Jinyoung already lifts his hand to wave at the boy. To his great surprise, Mark pulls him close and kisses him, short and soft. This was the most pleasant surprise ever, Jinyoung thinks while a silly smile appears on his lips. “Bye Mark,” he purrs.

“Bye bye, Sugartoast.” This beautiful smile is the last thing he sees before he turns around to skip down the stairs. It's the most beautiful smile in the whole world, and now also his motivation to overcome the highest mountains and the most difficult obstacles. Now he just has to find a way to make sure that this smile will be reserved only for him in the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After I've finished writing this story, I'll probably can't write another smut scene ever again. It's smut burnout for me. xD


	7. Seven

“It's going good, Jinyoung, so very good. I really like Jaebum, even more than I expected I would. He's sweet and funny and attentive and-”

“I know, Jackson. He's my best friend since forever.”

“Yes, I know that you know, but I thought you would like to hear that I now can confirm the gorgeousness of your best friend. Because I can. Fully. Completely. 100 percent.”

“That's good.”

“I reeeaaally like him,” Jackson coos. “And I think he really likes me too. We soon might reach boyfriend stage. And I can't wait for it.” Jinyoung thinks it utterly cute how Jackson is rolling around on the floor of Jinyoung's dorm room, hugging one of his pillows while he raves about his love interest like the lovesick puppy he is.

“I'm happy for you. I'm glad you don't want to dump him right away.”

“I never would. He's simply..... my perfect image of a boyfriend. Oh my god, envision us as boyfriends! I can't wait. I hope we will get there soon. Oh my god oh my god oh my god!” the boy squeals.

“I think he likes you very much as well,” Jinyoung assures while he beholds his excited friend with a fond smile. Indeed Jinyoung chatted with Jaebum recently. It turned out that his best friend didn't take a lot of time to consider before he contacted Jackson. Jinyoung was impressed after Jaebum told him that he called Jackson, just like that, without a warning. Would Jinyoung have been in the same situation, he would have messaged Jackson, using very friendly but also very vague words. But Jaebum just went for it and called Jackson to straightaway ask him to meet up. And like this, with a two minute call, he managed to reduce Jackson to a flustered, stammering mess. It was cute. Basically their whole story, or at least the parts Jinyoung heard from both sides, where very cute. They truly seemed to hit it off right away. Though they are still taking things slow, which Jinyoung thinks is the best way to start a serious relationship. Going the exactly opposite way in his own life currently, he knows that rash and passionate decisions don't necessarily lead to quick happiness.

According to his best friend, he is fascinated by Jackson as much as Jackson is fascinated by him. So Jinyoung's initial concerns regarding their possible relationship vanished as soon as he saw Jaebum being this happy and enthusiastic. Jackson's silly school girl behavior only adds to the fact that Jinyoung thinks it was the right decision to help them out with the attempt to reconnect.

“He said that? What did he say? You talked about me, right? What did he say? WHAT?” Jackson knee-walks towards Jinyoung, who sits on his bed, and is already halfway in Jinyoung's lap before he can push him back down. Jinyoung can't stop laughing when Jackson kneels in front of him like an expectant puppy before being fed.

“I can't tell you. Best friend secret mode, sorry.”

“Whaaaaat? Nooooooooooo!” The immediate disappointment he exudes is almost palpable.

“Honestly, sorry Jackson.”

“But he didn't say anything bad about me, right?” the puppy whines.

“No, of course not,” he assures. “As I said just seconds ago, I think he likes you too. So the boyfriend stage is on the horizon, I'd say.”

“Oh my god YAAAAS.” He throws himself down on the floor again and wildly kicks his legs while he shrieks into the still suffering pillow.

“Okay, so before you pass out, I have to talk to you about Alex,” Jinyoung interrupts Jackson's personal mini-festival.

“Oh good,” the boy on the floor pipes up. “Will you finally give him a chance?”

“No, but we actually have a lot to talk about, about Alex _and_ about Mark.”

“Mark?” Jackson asks, looking disappointed. “But this was supposed to be a study session, right? We can't waste our time just with talks about boys. We should be eager to use our precious time to work on our academic success, Jinyoungie.”

“You say this but didn't even bring your books,” Jinyoung argues and rolls his eyes at Jackson's obvious attempt to avoid talking about Mark yet another time. Jinyoung knows it must be exhausting to listen to his ramblings about his not-boyfriend all of the time, but it's very important today.

“You have books here,” he says and takes a random book from Jinyoung's bedside table.

“That's a novel.”

“And it's also a book,” Jackson coos in his annoying know-it-all voice.

“Can I summon a serious Jackson Wang for a few minutes? Would this be possible?”

“I mean, we can try but I don't promise anything. Good luck.”

Jinyoung sighs before he's approaching the next issue. “Let's start with Alex. Did you tell him to just shamelessly hit on me?”

“I…. don’t know what you're talking about?”

“Stop playing dumb. I see that you exactly know what I’m talking about.”

“Okay, fine,” he gives in with a sigh. He sits up a little straighter on the floor but still hugs the pillow dearly. “Yes, I did. You wanted him to take action. Also this is how Mark operates and he manages to sweep you off your feet ever since you met him. So I thought Alex could just use the same methods.”

“I wanted Alex to come clean about his feelings for me so that this awkwardness would finally stop. But I didn't want him to attack me physically. The thing about Mark is that he makes sure I'm on board with the things he does.”

“Ph-physically?” Jackson stammers and gapes at him.

“He was grabbing my dick without a warning, he tried to kiss me _twice_ and for a minute I was truly scared.”

“Alex…. did… _what_?” Jackson is clearly taken aback by the revelations. Jinyoung expected this. He didn't assume that his friend would suggest doing those things.

“I guess he interpreted your instructions a bit freely.”

“Damn.”

“Jackson, I appreciate your effort and I know that you want to see him and me being happy, preferably together. But.... now I’m sure that I don’t want to be with him.”

“Jinyoungie, I'm sorry that he did that. But you know that he's usually not deceitful like that. I'm sure he just panicked and didn't mean to-”

“I know, Jackson. I know he's not a bad guy. In fact, he apologized to me and also confessed to me. We talked things out. But the-”

“What does it mean when you say you talked things out?”

“I rejected him _gently_ and he said he will find a way to win me over.”

“Woooooow. I never knew he had it in him.”

“But it's useless. Because I realized that I don't want to be with him, not because of his rough attempt to kiss me, but the realization that I am in love with Mark.”

“Oh no.”

“Jackson, I really like Mark. Really, really much.”

“So you finally admit it,” he sighs and rakes his fingers through his tousled hair.

“Admit? I only just realized.”

“You might not have perceived it fully, but you probably are in love with him for a while now. I told you this stuff with being addicted to somebody is all nonsense. It's love, and only love.”

“Oh..... well... now I don't know what to say.”

“You don't need to say much. I saw that coming for some time now. I fought for nothing after all. Now I just hope that my fears won't come true regarding your..... _thing_ with Mark.”

“He said in your last conversation you were worried about me.”

“I tell you all of the time that I am worried about you. By now I’m more worried about your personal life than your academic achievements though. You’re smart. Even though you’re whiny about it, you will ace every single one of your courses. Your love life though….. you need help.”

“Then help me! Mark also said that you would be worried about me for all the wrong reasons?”  
  


“That's _his_ opinion.”

“And will you tell me some more about your conversation?”

“I can't, because friend secret... mode... thingy... whatever it was that you just said to avoid telling me what Jaebum said.”

“That's not fair. You and Mark aren't _best_ friends so it doesn't count.”

“Did you read that in the international rule book of friendship?”

“You really won't tell me?” Jinyoung sulks. “Mark wasn't telling me much more either.”

“Seems like you won't get to know then,” Jackson says with a slight shrug.

“Well, thanks for nothing,” Jinyoung grumbles and crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“But while we're at it, I assume Mark didn't tell you something interesting... something about his past maybe?”

“What do you mean?”

“Uhm... nevermind.”

“Was he supposed to tell me something? Did he say that he would tell me something? Did you talk ABOUT THAT? JACKSON I NEED ANSWERS!”

“Calm down, okay? Yes, I actually expected that he would man up some time soon but oh well, seems like I overestimated him.”

“So tell me.”

“I won't. Stop that, Jinyoung.”

“But I-” Jinyoung starts to argue before a knock at his door interrupts him. He immediately shuts his mouth and hints at Jackson to be quiet as well.

“Huh? What-” Jackson starts, but Jinyoung pounces on him and claps his hand over his mouth.

“Psst, that might be Alex,” he whispers.

“And?” he whispers back.

“Just shut up for now,” he hisses. They lie still like this for two more minutes until Jinyoung is sure that the coast is clear. Then he heaves a sigh of relief and lets go of Jackson.

Jackson sits back up and whacks Jinyoung with the pillow just for the heck of it. “What if it was somebody else? What if it was the guy you love?”

“Mark wouldn't give up. This one just gave up.”

“So you're hiding from Alex,” Jackson points out with a huff.

“Not hiding, I'm avoiding him.” Sad but true, Jinyoung for the past few days, did his utmost to not meet Alex anywhere. That's the reason why he asked Jackson over to hang out in his room. Jinyoung simply thinks the realization of his feelings for Mark and Alex's announcement to try and win him over don't go well together. Like a fool he just hopes that Alex would miraculously forget about him, if he wouldn't see him daily.

“Can't you just reject him properly at least?”

“Jackson, I did exactly that. But he was of the opinion that there still would be a chance to change my mind.”

“So tell him that you're in love with Mark. That will probably kill every bit of enthusiasm in him.”

“I don't want to tell a third, completely noninvolved party before I even told Mark.”

“So you will confess?”

“Of course not. Are you out of your mind?”

“Alright,” Jackson sighs and pats Jinyoung's leg. “Then what's the plan regarding Mark?”

“I will bug him until he falls for me.”

“That's the plan? For real? Have you gotten dumber recently?”

Jinyoung snatches the pillow from him and whacks his head with it. “Since I don't have a love potion, a better idea or a friend who can come up with a good advice, yes, this is the plan.”

“Okay, fine. Do whatever you like. From now on it all depends on luck anyway.”

“If you don't want to tell me anything significant, I wish you would also keep this vague shit for yourself,” Jinyoung huffs.

“Okay, you're right. Can I swoon over Jaebum again now? Are we done talking about Mark?”

“Wait..... I really like his ass.”

“Jaebum's?” Jackson shrieks.

“No, Mark's.”

“Huh? It's small. Barely existent.”

“You have no idea. His ass is firm and round and muscular and has the perfect fit for my hands and-”

“Stop! These were way more information than I ever wanted to know about his ass. You talked enough now. Now we're talking about Jaebum's ass.”

“Ugh, okay. If we absolutely have to.”

“Oh yes, we have to.”

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

Once again Jinyoung finds himself in front of Mark's apartment, this time without a proper reason, an urgent issue to discuss, or ice cream to deliver. Nevertheless he bravely rings the doorbell.

Mark opens the door and blinks at him. A small smile makes it to his lips before he says, “I should just hand the keys to this apartment over to you. Its annoying how often I have to get up to open the door for you.”

“Sorry for being annoying then,” Jinyoung responds with a wide, eye-whiskers evoking grin.

“We both know you aren't sorry just like we both know that I'm not annoyed. And now come in.”

Jinyoung follows Mark inside, toes off his shoes and scampers into the living room. Surprisingly this time Mark didn't even ask him what he's here for. Jinyoung takes that as a good sign. “So what are you up to?”

“Watching a movie and eating pizza.”

“Ooohhh, I could do with some pizza.”

“I didn't offer though.”

“I know, but this was my discreet attempt to tell you that I would like some,” Jinyoung says with a cheeky smile as he bumps playfully into Mark's shoulder.

“Alright, I guess I have enough to feed you too,” Mark sighs with feigned annoyance. Jinyoung takes a seat on the couch and and spots the huge ham and pepperoni pizza on the coffee table. Yes, he thinks, Mark surely has some slices to spare for him.

“What are you watching?”

“'Control'.”

“Huh? I don't think I know this movie.”

“It's a biographical film about the life of Ian Curtis.”

“Come again?”

“Ian Curtis? Joy Division? The band?” Jinyoung only blinks at Mark who stares back in disbelief. “Love will tear us apart? Transmission? Shadowplay? She's lost control? Okay, none of those songs rings a bell?” Jinyoung slowly shakes his head. “Wow..... I don't know what to say.”

“But I'm ready to learn?”

“Okay, you have to learn. Let's keep watching.”

“Wait, I can't just start in the middle of the movie. We have to watch from the beginning.”

“But I'm 40 minutes into it already.”

“How do you expect me to understand then?” Jinyoung sulks with a pout.

“Fine,” Mark sighs.

He starts to play the film form the beginning. They eat their pizza in silence as they both find themselves captivated by the storyline. After they finished eating, Jinyoung snuggles into Mark's side. The latter luckily wraps his arm around Jinyoung's shoulder and pulls him closer. It makes him feel so much more secure.

It's a black-and-white movie and the film portrays the events of the main actor's life in the seventies. Everything is incredibly British. But Jinyoung likes the actors, the music and the artsy elements. Though the overall mood of the film is gloomy. He hates the cheating. And the ending, how immensely he hates the ending. It leaves him shocked and upset.

“So?” Mark asks and glances down at him.

“I can't believe he did that,” Jinyoung mumbles, his eyes glistening with tears.

“Oh, I'm sorry, Sugartoast. I forgot that you know nothing about him. I should have warned you before.”

“Yeah, that would have been good. That was tragic.”

“That's true,” Mark says with a guilty expression on his handsome face. He lifts his hand to gently caress Jinyoung's cheek with his thumb.

“It was still a good movie though. I liked it. And the music was good. Really good. So good that I might add some songs to my playlists later.”

“Really?” Mark asks and his whole face lights up with enthusiasm.”Now I feel like I did a good deed. This music shouldn't be forgotten.”

“That's for sure. I guess this broadened my knowledge.”

“Good,” he breathes and smiles down at Jinyoung. “It's actually great that you dropped by, Sugartoast. I have to tell you something.”

Jinyoung sits up to be at eye level with Mark. His heart immediately starts to beat faster after Mark's announcement. Can he actually hope that the boy beside him wants to speak about romantic feelings?

“You know Yongho from the Lighthouse, right?” Okay, this surprises Jinyoung. A lot. And certainly a talk about feelings won't start like this.

“Huh?”

“The bartender?” Mark elaborates.

“Oh, not Yugyeom but the other one. Yeah, I know him.... not really well though.”

“Yeah, uhm..... right. He kind of.... asked for a threesome.”

“He what?” Jinyoung blurts out. “He asked you for a threesome? Casually like that?”

“Yep.”

“With whom?”

“With _you_, Sugartoast,” he says dumbfounded. “He kind of saw us together in the club and uhm, yeah....”

“Oh,” Jinyoung breathes, still taken aback by the news. “W-What did you tell him?”

“That you're not the type for threesomes.”

He snorts. Mark answered on his bahalf, assuming that Jinyoung is not the type for a threesome while he just went for it with this Yong-whatever?! The disappointment shoots through him like a lightning and slowly the anger follows. “You decide that just on your own?” he snaps.

“Was I wrong?” Mark asks in astonishment.

“Are you going to casually sleep with him now, just the both of you? Or did it already happen?” he hisses.

“I asked you a question,” is the calm response.

“Yeah, I asked you a question as well.”

“You're angry and I don't even know why,” Mark sighs and runs his fingers through his blond strands of hair.

“I'm not angry. I'm in discussion mode.” He is angry. He also knows that Mark knows he is.

“Uh-huh, sure. So if you could just calm down a bit so we can discuss this like normal peop-”

“THE HECK I WILL! YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST GO AND SLEEP WITH HIM WHILE YOU'RE EXCLUDING ME LIKE A DUM-DUM?” Jinyoung yells as he gets to his feet.

“What? So you wanted to sleep with him? For real?”

“GOD NO!” That's not the point. The point is that Mark slept with him and acts like it's not a big deal. But for Jinyoung it is. It hurts so much that he thinks he will fall apart if he would stay just another minute in this suffocating apartment. “YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING! JUST GO BACK TO FUCKING NOT-YUGYEOM AND SUCK HIS DICK!” he screams at Mark before he runs out of the room. He grabs his shoes and storms out, stumbling down the stairs before he even put them on. He faintly hears Mark calling his name but he ignores it.

He's so damn angry and hurt, he can't bear to take another look at Mark. Mark, the boy who he can't have. The boy who isn't meant for him after all. He quickly puts on his shoes before he runs out and down the sidewalk. All the memories of Mark kissing other guys invade his mind. The call from the faceless guy who Mark meets sometimes to make out makes a reappearance in his thoughts as well. And now this. It all hurts so much, especially in combination with Jinyoung's freshly realized feelings of love for the blond. Damn, how does he deserve this?!

In the middle of his angry speed-walk, Jinyoung feels his phone buzzing in his pocket. He fishes the device out and glances at the screen to identify the caller. Of course it’s Mark. He probably wants to apologize to Jinyoung for his mishap but he isn’t so easy to appease. Mark has some serious groveling to do if he wants forgiveness. And if he's being honest with himself, he isn't so sure if he even can forgive. He knows they aren't in a relationship, at least not officially. But he at least thought there was something, some kind of attachment that would keep Mark from sleeping with some random guy.

Jinyoung ignores every single one of the four calls he gets from Mark. Next, he receives a message from him. He stops dead in his tracks, contemplating if he allows himself to read the message at least. He's curious, so much he admits. He dislikes himself a little bit for this great urge to read what Mark sent him. In the end he decides to have a look at the message.

**Mark HARDER HARDER:** Why the heck did you just leave without giving me a chance to explain? I wanted to tell you that I declined his offer COMPLETELY. Nothing happened! I didn't exclude you or anything. I honestly thought you would have answered the same.

Oh.

Damn.

Now Jinyoung feels like a moron.

Only minutes later he’s climbing the stairs of the apartment building back up. When he arrives at the respective floor, Mark already stands there, leaning against the frame of his opened door with crossed arms, waiting.

“I’m sorry,” Jinyoung says meekly and offers a quivering pout.

Mark sighs and lets his arms drop to his sides. “Alright. Come back in.” The arm which he wraps around Jinyoung’s shoulder to usher him through his hallway feels way too much like home.

Once again Jinyoung gets rid of his shoes and trudges back to Mark's couch. Mark drops back into his seat beside him. They are both quiet while they only chancing careful glances at each other. Jinyoung knows he should say something but finds himself unable to do so. Of all these many words he usually uses, not a single one comes to his mind. Instead he just fidgets awkwardly in his seat.

After an eternity of weirdness Mark finally finds some words to mumble at him. “It's awkward now.”

“W-What?” Jinyoung stammers.

“It's awkward. Make it stop or go home!”

“B-But... you can't just s-say that a situation is awkward. You have to endure it like a grown-up.”

“That's nonsense. I'd either try to fucking make it not awkward anymore or end it. _That's_ how a grown-up should handle an awkward situation.”

“That's not how it works in adult world. You have to suffer through it until time makes it normal again.”

“But that's how it works in _my_ world. So be normal again or leave,” Mark grumbles.

“You're unbelievable. You never act according to the rules.”

“So yeah, I don't care about your so-called grown-up rules. We argue this out, now.” Jinyoung looks at him with wide eyes. It's probably good to clear the situation up but he can't help but be a little scared of the outcome. “So you jumped to conclusions on your own and thought I slept with Yongho. And to be honest, I can't believe you thought I would do this after I specifically told you that I don't mindlessly sleep around.”

“Well.... looking at it now, it was kind of dumb to think that,” Jinyoung admits feebly.

“Still, your first instinct was to believe this. What did I do to deserve so little trust?”

“I can't..... I can't really forget that there's something you won't tell me.”

“What do you mean?” Mark tilts his head while he studies Jinyoung's face, his intense gaze weighs so heavy on him that he would like to dodge it. But he knows that he can't do this so he tries to man up and meet his eyes.

“You know there is something. Something that lets you not properly sleep at night. Something that makes your best friend hate me. Something that inspires Jackson to try everything to keep you away from me. Something that makes you sometimes look at me as if my sheer presence would hurt you. And you still won't tell me what is going on and it confuses me and makes me do the things I do. And even if my reactions sometimes aren't sensible, they are all coming from that place where I still don't know this big thing about you,” Jinyoung explains passionately. He wants to make clear that he isn't necessarily an immature brat which likes to overreact. There are reasons for his behavior.

Mark looks at him for a couple of seconds, seeming a bit perplexed until he snorts a disdainful laugh. “I can't believe you. You complain about not knowing this one thing when you....... no, you know what? It doesn't matter. Just keep mistrusting me. It's fine.”

This goes the absolutely wrong way, Jinyoung thinks. “Mark, I don't mistrust you by default. That's not the point. And also can you please finish your sentence because I really want to know what the problem is here.”

“There's no problem.”

Oh no, Mark is back behind his defense wall, blocking Jinyoung out at all costs. He knows now that he probably won't get anything of informative value out of him in this state. So Jinyoung quickly adjusts his aim and focuses on soften him up again. “Mark, please. I didn't want to offend you. Please believe me when I say that I don't do things because I want to purposely drive you up the wall. I don't. I wouldn't,” he explains with his softest voice and softest eyes possible. “When I do something that makes you angry, it's just because I misunderstand you. I'm sorry that I jumped to conclusions earlier. I should have listened to you first. Would you please forgive me?” Jinyoung shoves his face close to Mark's, blinking at him with his wide, brown eyes and a slight pout on his face, two things which he knows Mark can hardly resist.

Mark huffs and a small smile appears on his lips while he rolls his eyes. Yes, Jinyoung thinks, he made it. His defenses are lowered again.

“Fine. I forgive you. It was a misunderstanding, alright.”

“I'm glad,” Jinyoung whispers and presses a tender kiss to Mark's cheek.

“Just how many times do you plan on stomping out of my apartment, throwing a tantrum like a stubborn child?”

“Just as many times as I deem it necessary,” Jinyoung sasses, voice playful before he captures Mark's lips in a slow, long kiss.

“Okay, I guess I'm fine with that,” Mark answers with a lazy smile after Jinyoung retreats.

Jinyoung smiles back at him and pecks his mouth again. He stays close even after that, reveling in all the details of Mark's handsome face.

“Why were you so angry about it in the first place though?” Mark suddenly pipes up. “I mean the assumption that I slept with him?”

Now he slightly panics. Jinyoung can't tell him the truth. He can't tell him that he was so incredibly jealous at the thought of Mark sleeping with anyone who isn't him. That would lead to a lot more questions and he's not ready for them. “I hate the fact that you decided on my behalf. I'm not a kid. I want to make my own decisions,” he murmurs without meeting his eyes.

“That was it?_ That_ made you so mad?” Mark asks baffled. “God Jinyoung, I mean I'm sorry if this hurt you but, well, in the end I told him what you yourself would have told him.”

“Yeah, but.... still.”

Mark sighs as if he would carry all the weight of the world on his shoulders.

“Now we can't ever go to the Lighthouse anymore,” Jinyoung quickly tosses in to distract him.

“Huh? Why not?”

“Because damn not-Yugyeom wants to bang us both,” Jinyoung whines cutely.

Mark laughs at him. It's good to see and hear him laugh. That eases Jinyoung's mind a lot. “I don't know what the problem is. Maybe that means free drinks for us.”

“Mark!”

“Come on, what's bad about free drinks?”

“It will be awkward with not-Yugyeom from now on.”

  
“It‘s kind of funny how you only can differentiate between Yugyeom and not-Yugyeom,” Mark says, smiling. He gently runs his fingers through Jinyoung's bangs while the latter tries to restrain himself from leaning into the touch.

“I can't memorize his name. What about it?” he mumbles sulkily.

“His name is Yongho. Not really a great challenge, if you'd ask me.”

“Can we call him Yong-hoe from now on? I'm sure I can remember _that_,” Jinyoung cheers with new-found enthusiasm.

“Sure,” the blond laughs, “whatever you like. Though we can scratch that free-drinks plan if we walk in like 'Hey Yong-hoe, how's prostitution going?' from now on. But it's fine with me.”

“Oh my god, not to his face, Mark!” Jinyoung squeaks.

“So you mean we call him only Yong-hoe behind his back, like mean bitches?”

“Yes, exactly.”

“Okay, let's do this _and_ try to get free drinks anyway.” Mark flashes him that wide, cheeky smile which makes it difficult for Jinyoung to not let an impromptu love confession slip. “What surprises me is that you don't have any difficulties with recalling Yugyeom's name.”

“Uhm..... this might be a bit embarrassing but.... uhm......”

“Yes? I won't laugh. I promise,” Mark reassures and moves his hand from Jinyoung's hair to take his hand instead.

“It might seem dumb, but do you know how it is when you meet someone for the first time and immediately think that this person is nice and you would get along with them very well, despite not knowing much about them?”

Mark's eyebrows scrunch together cutely while he contemplates Jinyoung's words. “Uhm... I'm not sure I can relate. Was this how you felt when you met me for the first time?”

“Hell no, it was almost the opposite,” Jinyoung scoffs.

“But it was enough to take me home that night, yeah?” He smirks at Jinyoung and wiggles his eyebrows. And even though Jinyoung knows there's absolutely no reason for it, he blushes anyway.

“Because you're _hot,_ Mark. That has nothing to do with what I described just now. With you it came much later. But with Yugyeom, when I set foot into the Lighthouse for the first time, from the first moment, I felt that we kind of would be good friends. But I never really acted on it. Except ordering drinks and making some small talk across the bar counter with him, nothing ever happened. He's probably weirded out by me because I always smile at him. He probably thinks I have the hots for him. Ugh.”

“Which you don't.”

“Of course not,” Jinyoung quickly assures. “But I just can’t help it. I don’t know much about Yugyeom but he’s always nice and smiley and in a good mood when I meet him at the Lighthouse. I kind of want to be his friend but.... yeah... I don't know how.”

“You want to be his friend?” Mark asks perplexed.

“Yeah, is this bad? I mean, I admit it's a bit weird but I kind of think we would get along good. But it's not like I can just chat him up like 'Hey, want to hang out or something?' because I don't want him to think I'm a weirdo.”

“Put your shoes on, Sugartoast. We're heading to the club.”

“What?”

“You obviously don't recall it but I'm friends with him. I will officially introduce you and you can be friends and whatnot.” Mark stands up and walks into his bedroom. Jinyoung waddles after him, entirely flustered.

“W-Wait, just like that?”

“Sure. I don't see a problem. Also you look very hot and suitable for a club evening today, just like every day,” Mark smoothly compliments while he's exchanging his sweatpants and t-shirt for tight ripped jeans and a black tank top. And if Jinyoung is honest with himself, Mark looks so damn sexy that he rather would like to get laid by him instead of befriending Yugyeom now. But of course he can't show just how weak he's for him.

Only half an hour later, they are entering the Lighthouse. It's been a while since Jinyoung came here but the pumping music, the stale air and the questionable lighting immediately feel familiar.

They make a beeline for the bar and they spot both, Yugyeom and Yong-hoe working behind it.

“HEY YUGY,” Mark tries to get his attention. The tall boy turns around and smiles as soon as he spots the blond. It's not his usual friendly smile, Jinyoung realizes, it's a lot brighter and way more enthusiastic.

“MARK!” he yells back.

“DID YOU TAKE YOUR BREAK ALREADY?” The tall boy shakes his head no. “HOW ABOUT TAKING IT NOW?” Mark suggests and glances behind Yugyeom, eyeing the door which leads to the staff room. Jinyoung notices that his fellow bartender already looks at them. What he's thinking, Jinyoung has no idea. But his starring is interrupted when Yugyeom informs him about taking his break. The tall boy indicates them to follow him and they all enter the staff room.

Like probably every other staff room, it's not exactly pomp and splendor but at least they can sit down and talk without the need to drown out the loud music.

“You guys want to drink anything? Since it's staff's kingdom here, I don't need to charge you,” the boy says with the brightest grin.

“Just water is fine,” Jinyoung blurts out, being strangely nervous.

Yugyeom comes over with water for Jinyoung and sodas for him and Mark.

“I'm honest, it's surprising to see you here and wanting to hang out.”

“I know, but I really wanted you to meet Jinyoung,” Mark explains casually.

“I know Jinyoung already though,” Yugyeom cackles.

“But not officially. So this is Yugyeom. Yugyeom, this is Jinyoung.” Yugyeom lifts his eyebrows in amazement for a second before he grabs Jinyoung's offered hand and smiles at him.

“Nice to meet you officially then, Jinyoung.”

“Same,” Jinyoung mumbles.

“Cool, I heard about you...... hanging out these days,” Yugyeom says, letting his eyes wander from Mark to Jinyoung and back. “People talk a lot, you know?” he snickers.

“So who told you? BamBam or Yong-hoe?”

“Both actually,” he laughs. “Yong-_hoe_ though?”

“He asked us to have a threesome with him but we're actually doing fine without him. But we decided to call him like that from now on,” Mark says as casually as if he would explain him how to set up a router.

“Wooooow, Yong-hoe did that? You see me shocked and... also amused.” He laughs again and Jinyoung feels his nervousness slowly fade with every additional laugh and smile.

“I see, you understand us,” Mark says with a smirk.

“Yeah. Uhm Mark, I'm actually glad you dropped by. I mean today as well as in general. I couldn't attend your party because of work and we didn't talk for a while. I just want to tell you that it's good to see you around again. I was worried.”

“I know. Everyone was,” Mark says, softly smiling at the tall boy. “But no need for that anymore. I'm fine.” Jinyoung listens with great interest. Though their conversation is still too vague to actually learn about the mystery of Mark's past. “So, Yugy, you said you know Jinyoung already, but what do you actually know about him?”

“Uh... I don't mean I know him like that. I know him from seeing him here and talking only about unimportant things.”

“And what do you think of him?” Jinyoung slaps Mark's arm and hisses a warning to him. He hates the flustered look on Yugyeom's face which Mark's question caused.

“Just to make this clear, rumor has it that the two of you are hooking up. So I think it's very strange that you try to set him up with me,” Yugyeom eventually declares.

“I am not,” Mark laughs. “Why in the world would I give you such a quality boy voluntarily when I can keep him to myself? Doesn't make any sense, right?” Jinyoung can feel himself blushing hard. This conversation gives him cardiac irregularity. But Yugyeom looks at him with a smile, also not his usual friendly smile, but something deeper, something warmer than the sun.

“Right, really doesn't make sense. Seriously, when I heard about you two I was more than surprised. But now, when I see you together, it adds up. So to get back to your question, what I think about Jinyoung is that he definitely is a very nice and polite guy, who can express himself well and never stirred up trouble here.”

“Thank you,” Jinyoung mumbles shyly. Mark looks at him like he expects him to say more but Jinyoung still is a bit overwhelmed by everything.

“Bam told me you want to get out of law school,” Mark changes the topic.

“True. In the end it's really just what my parents wanted for me.” Yugyeom pulls a disgusted face. “I don't even have to finish the semester to know that I won't last there.”

“Bam also told me that you think about studying literature.”

“Yeah, that's right,” Yugyeom says with bright eyes.

“Really?” Jinyoung pipes up. “_I_ study literature.”

“Oh great, can I ask you some questions? I'm not fully sure yet if it's right for me.”

“Of course,” Jinyoung cheers, all the nervousness suddenly gone.

From that point on they discuss Jinyoung's courses. The latter explains about the areas of literature and tells some hilarious anecdotes about his professors. Yugyeom gets answers to all of his questions. The conversation between them flows freely and Jinyoung was right, they do get along well. Once in a while he glances at Mark who watches them with a sweet smile on his lips. Jinyoung realizes that Mark let him take over to get closer to Yugyeom. Once again he thinks that the blond boy next to him is truly incredible and unpredictable in the best way.

The conversation shifts and Yugyeom recounts his craziest encounters with drunk guests and also delivers hilarious impressions of them. It's so funny that Jinyoung and Mark are laughing their asses off until the door is opened and the other bartender pokes his head in. His eyes linger on him and Mark for a bit before they find Yugyeom.

“You're coming back out soon?”

“Oh damn, I forgot the time. Sorry.” The boy jumps to his feet. “It was great to talk to you both,” he addresses them. “Have fun here and you know where you get drinks, right?” With a final wink at them he runs out.

Both boys follow and wince a bit at the loud music.

“And? Was this fun?” Mark leans in to speak directly into his ear.

“Yes. YES! Thank you,” Jinyoung happily cheers and throws his arms around Mark to pull him close. He buries his head in the crook of his shoulder and giggles.

“No need to thank me. I had fun as well,” Mark laughs and wraps his arms around him. “So, do you want to dance?”

Jinyoung is so giddy with excitement that this comes just right. They dance the night away, giving it their all to the fast songs while Mark pulls him close during the sexy songs. Nothing else is important, only the both of them, having fun with each other, playfully flirting with each other in this sea of people. Mark kisses him so good while he lets his hands slip under the hem of Jinyoung's shirt to explore the sweaty, hot skin of his back. It's so much fun and it feels so special and easy. Faintly, Jinyoung notices other people trying to get in between them during the fun songs and trying to make either one of them their new dance partner. But they simply ignored every pitiful attempt of those random people. Mark's smile and attention only is for him tonight.

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

They stumbled home, back to Mark's apartment, tipsy and sweaty and absolutely overjoyed. As soon as they stepped inside they started to rip their clothes off each other and only barely made it into the bedroom to get it on.

This was one of their extremely extensive fuck parties. Mark tore him down, erased his whole existence, just to create Jinyoung all anew. He went the full circle. And now he's tired, his body is aching but he's so satisfied and his head is pleasantly empty. He lies stretched out on Mark's bed, grinning at the ceiling.

Mark snuggles into his side, gently nipping at his collarbone.

“God..... Mark, sometimes I can't believe you're not doing this professionally.”

“Fucking you?” he giggles against his skin.

“Fucking in general. I certainly don't want to start paying you from now on though.”

“You always will have me for free, Sugartoast.”

Mark crawls down along his body. Plump, soft lips sliding over his chest and gracing his stomach. He presses a soft, long kiss into Jinyoung's hip. Mark blesses his lower abdomen with scorching, open-mouthed kisses. He goes down even further and eventually rests his head on Jinyoung's bare thigh. Mark's hot cheek presses into his skin and Jinyoung's heart starts beating faster once again.

“What are you doing down there?”

“Hanging out and enjoying the view.” His hot breath hits his dick as Mark stares directly at his crotch. Like always, he's pretty shameless.

“You want to hang out... _there_?” Jinyoung snickers and reaches down to comb his fingers through Mark's already messy hair.

“It's a nice place to rest.” Hot breath tickles his cock once again and he feels himself twitching. Of course Mark saw, Jinyoung knows, but the other chooses to not comment on it. It's a bit weird though. This is such an intimate position. They already were in a lot of other intimate positions together but that was mostly in the middle of having sex. But right now, they don't have sex and they aren't on the way to have it, at least as far as Jinyoung knows. Yes, it feels a little weird but not uncomfortable.

So Jinyoung lets him do whatever he wants to do and continues to stroke his hair.

But suddenly Mark moves. His head dips down and the next thing Jinyoung knows is that a rough tongue teases his balls. The surprise and bewitching feeling of it startles him.

“Oh my god Mark,” he gasps. “What the heck?”

Mark nuzzles his balls before he looks up with his perfect doe eyes. “I try to prove something here,” he says with his low voice before he brings his lips down between his legs again.

“What the he- Aaaahhh Mark! Again?” Jinyoung shrieks as Mark drags his tongue along his balls. Then he switches to pressing soft kisses to them. Jinyoung sighs in response as a ripple of pleasure skims down his back.

His whole body starts to tremble under Mark's mouth. The blond even steps up his game and takes his balls into his mouth to suck them. Jinyoung screams with pleasure. His fingers dig into the sheets, Jinyoung's toes curl up in delight and his heart is pummeling harshly in his chest. His eyes roll back in his head. He can't breathe properly anymore, even his lungs are blissed-out.

But Mark is relentless. He sucks, licks and kisses his balls until Jinyoung is a panting mess. His dick is already hard and leaking even though it hasn't been touched once, at least not during this session.

“God Mark,” he whimpers. “Oh god oh GOD OH GOD FUUUCK!”

“You enjoying this, Sugartoast?” His deep voice fills Jinyoung's ears while his breath hits his spit covered balls.

“Mark, please Ma-” he chokes on his words when the boy between his legs rubs his tongue against his balls another time. A pathetic whine spills from his lips. Mark is obviously determined to serve well. His hand comes up and his slender fingers wrap around the head of Jinyoung's throbbing dick. He spreads the drops of pre-cum all over his shaft, making it nice and sleek.

And then Mark delivers another peak performance. He strokes Jinyoung's cock, puts pressure right where he knows Jinyoung's loves it the most, while his sinful mouth gets back to suck his balls. Mark's sharp wildcat teeth graze the sensitive skin. Sheer euphoria seizes Jinyoung's mind and body. Everything's spinning. He tries to cope with the sensory overload but he knows he's only seconds away from coming undone.

“MarkIpleaseIcancan'tIhelp,” he mindlessly moans, overstimulated and incoherent. He presses himself more into Mark. The latter moans around his balls while his thumb rubs his slit and Jinyoung can't help himself anymore. He's unraveling. He's falling into the ocean of pleasure while he spills his cum all over himself. He chokes on Mark's name but he repeats it again and again anyway. That's the only thought he has while he dives through the waves of his high, only Mark.

He trembles through his bliss and it takes a while until he can think straight again. He realizes that Mark is on top of him now, not caring about smearing the torrents of cum on Jinyoung with his torso. The three-quarter god looks down at him and Jinyoung revels in the softness of his eyes and the sweetness of his smile.

Mark combs Jinyoung's dark bangs away from his face. “Are you okay?”

Jinyoung nods, not really trusting his voice yet. Mark leans down to peck his bottom lip, then his jaw, his cheek and the corner of his eye. Then he rolls himself onto his side next to Jinyoung and props himself up on his elbow to still be able to look down at him.

“So what was all of this for?” Jinyoung eventually asks.

“What do you mean?” he asks in response and lifts his eyebrows.

“It was soft and.... unexpected and you didn't come yourself. This was unusual. What's up?”

“You enjoyed it?” The cheeky smirk on his face is almost a challenge.

“The fuck, of course I enjoyed it. Could you not tell? Just how loud do I need to scream for you to be sure I fucking enjoyed it?”

Mark breaks into a fit of giggles and leans down another time to place a small kiss on Jinyoung's nose. “Then let's say the next time I unknowingly do something that ticks you off, you don't get angry and stomp out of my apartment. Instead you'll remember how nice I was to you just now and will calm down. What do you say?”

“You calculating bitch! If I had known this before-”

“You would have refused all of this?” Mark mocks.

“I would..... have had a chance to talk about the bargain and altering the conditions.”

“You really enjoyed it so much,” Mark cheers and ignores Jinyoung's feigned nagging completely.

“Shut up!”

“You're so cute,” he snickers. “Also it's true that I wanted to prove something. My kink suspicion is confirmed now.”

“Your... what?”

“Remember that there was a suspected kink which I had to confirm first before telling you what it is? It's this, your balls kink.”

“Oh my god, I didn't know I had one but... I obviously have one,” Jinyoung says in amazement. “How did you even notice it in the first place?”

“Remember when I fucked you on my desk and had my tongue in your pretty ass? I only so much as brushed your balls and you were already melting away.”

“Wow, you're so observant.”

“One of us has to be,” Mark says with a lopsided grin while he pats Jinyoung's arm.

“Hey!” he grumbles.

“You're the king of unawareness and I won't change my mind about it,” Mark decides. “Also look at you. This dirty baby needs a shower.”

“Noooo, I'm tired!” Jinyoung whines.

“The whole bed is full of our cum. _You’re_ full of our cum. And even though I think our cum looks amazing on you, I think you deserve it to sleep like a clean human once in a while.”

“I don’t care. Just let me be,” he grouses and looks up at Mark with a pout on his lips.

“No way you can twist me around your finger with this, Sugartoast. You're a sticky lump. You even have cum behind your ear and I have no idea how we managed to do that,” Mark says with obvious amusement. “Time to shower.”

“Nooooo. I can't even walk. You took me so hard earlier,” he continues to argue with the most whiny voice he can muster.

“I help you. Come on.” Mark rolls himself off the bed and pulls Jinyoung up by his arms, but not without receiving some nagging from the beat boy in return. But Mark is determined to get him clean so he lets Mark maneuver him into the bathroom.

Mark drags him past the large mirror above the bathroom sink. Jinyoung beholds his upper body in it. All the bite marks and purplish-blue bruises let it seem like he's recovering from some kind of accident. When his eyes are running over the construction site which is his body, he contemplates if this would be healthy in the long run. And still, when his fingertips trace some bite marks near his collarbone, a smile automatically blooms on his lips while he thinks about the exact moment when he received these. Maybe it's not healthy for his body, but it makes him happy and his mind is celebrating its own little party at that sight.

Mark reaches out with one hand to turn on the shower, while he still holds Jinyoung tightly around his middle with the other arm. Jinyoung is sure he would stumble and fall if it wouldn't be for Mark's strong arms, holding him upright under the shower with a backhug.

Maybe he was right. Maybe the hot water is a blessing to his tired body. They let the water rain down on themselves, enjoying the closeness and the feeling of cleanliness as all the sweat and cum is washed away. He relaxes in Mark's arms and lets a quiet sigh out.

When they are both clean, Mark sits him down and wipes him dry before he towels himself down. Jinyoung watches him with a wide, lazy smile while he tries to memorize every plane and every curve of Mark's naked body. But one of the most interesting parts gets covered by clean, blue boxer briefs now.

“Nooooo, no clothes! Undress! Undress! Undress!” Jinyoung starts to chant and his reward for his childish behavior is Mark's sun-like smile.

“Somebody doesn't seem oh so tired anymore,” he laughs.

“I _am_ tired but I also think you should be naked. Those two facts aren't mutually exclusive.”

“Alright, my horny sugarboy. It's still the right time for clothes.” With a gentle smile Mark puts a thick, fluffy bathrobe around Jinyoung's shoulders and helps him to properly wear it. The exhausted boy just lets it happen and simply enjoys Mark's care instead of entertaining him with more juvenile protests.

Mark pulls him to his feet and guides him back to his bedroom just to sit him down into his comfy armchair.

Jinyoung watches Mark stripping the bed off the soiled sheets to replace them with clean ones. The blond was serious when he said that he wants Jinyoung to sleep like a human in a clean state tonight. The domestic tinge of the action brings a soft smile to his face. But when the blond bends over, his eyes stray to Mark's juicy, smackable ass and every thought of domestic feels immediately gets replaced with a new, dirty fantasy.

“Get into bed, Sugartoast.” Mark interrupts his needy imagination with his announcement but Jinyoung is actually glad. At least he can touch him now. He lifts his arms and makes grabby hands at the boy who comes over and removes the bathrobe. Then he picks Jinyoung up with a soft smile on his lips. Back in bed, Jinyoung crawls under the blanket and snuggles himself into the pillows.

As soon as the bed owner lies down beside him, he pushes his head into his neck, smiling against his warm skin and smelling the scent of clean and pure Mark.

“Are you feeling good, little kitten?” He can hear the amusement in his voice. And when Jinyoung looks up to confirm it, he sees this boyish smile on his face which looks so good on him and lets him appear more vivid than the brightest colors.

“Yes,” Jinyoung whispers while looking into his warm eyes. “Hey, can I try something?”

“Uhm... sure,” Mark answers, slight surprise obvious on his features. “What would that be?”

Jinyoung sits up and Mark naturally follows, so they sit side by side in bed. Jinyoung leans in and kisses him softly. He tenderly caresses his bottom lip, then licks his upper lip carefully. “Open your mouth and smile for me,” Jinyoung whispers against his mouth. Without questioning it, Mark complies. Jinyoung slides his tongue over his upper row of teeth. Then he carefully lets his tongue run along the sharp edge of his canine. He always wondered if he would cut himself on Mark's pointed teeth just like Mark bites his skin with them. But he doesn't. He's gingerly enough to not hurt himself. But it still is arousing to lick along the sharpness. It's like playing with a dangerous animal which could pounce on him any second.

But the wildcat stays still and just lets him do what he wants. So he licks into his mouth, rubbing his tongue for a bit. Mark still doesn't move. So Jinyoung moves on and gently clicks their teeth together. The sound that it makes is unique. He didn't imagine it to sound that way even though he can't really explain how exactly he imagined it to sound in the first place. But this is good. The sound and the feeling will be etched on his memory forever.

He eventually pulls away and meets Mark's eyes again.

“Okay?” the blond asks quietly.

“Okay,” Jinyoung confirms. “I always wanted to know how that feels.” Jinyoung notices his cheeks and ears heating up under Mark's intense eyes. His lips curl up in a shy smile. Everything would be so perfect, so peaceful and warm, if it wouldn't be for Mark's features twisting into the too familiar hurt expression. The unicorn expression stares back at him, showcasing the sheer pain which seems to be caused by Jinyoung's sole existence.

“Stop looking at me like that, Mark.” Jinyoung looks back at him with his own appalled eyes.

Immediately Mark's face is back to normal. His warm eyes, his soft lips, back as if nothing happened.

“What was that?”

“Nothing,” Mark says, trying to sound casual. He smiles at Jinyoung before he pecks his lips. “Sorry, don't mind me and my dumbness.”

“Lie down,” Jinyoung softly demands. Again, Mark is slightly surprised but does as Jinyoung says. The latter climbs on top of him just to lean down and kiss Mark, long and slow. He wants to memorize every tiny sensation there is, when they kiss tenderly like this.

When this need is satisfied, he moves down and mouths at his long, delicious neck. Jinyoung drags his tongue across Mark's firm chest and lingers on his left side to taste his beating heart. He presses his lips to the smooth skin repeatedly before he lays his head down, his ear right above Mark's heart. And if he's not completely mistaken, it starts to beat slightly faster after that. But on the other hand, he could just as well imagine it. After all he's a total goner for this three-quarter god.

But right now it doesn't matter much. Jinyoung shuts his eyes and smiles, being content just listening to this enchanting rhythm.

“Hey Sugartoast,” Mark quietly addresses him. “Do you plan on staying that way?”

“Yeah, it's pretty comfortable.”

“For you maybe, but you're kind of heavy,” Mark says, a smile obvious in his voice.

“That's just my fat ass that's weighing me down. You adore that ass so you kind of have to deal with it,” Jinyoung murmurs with still closed eyes. It's so comfortable and warm that he already feels himself drifting off to sleep. Mark's rumbling laugh and the moving of his chest that it causes, don't disturb his peace at all. “Also it's the best way to make sure that you won't run away from me.”

The laughter fades away and after he few seconds he hears Mark say, “You're afraid I would run away from you?”

“Maybe not exactly. But you never know, right?”

“Yeah, you never know,” Mark whispers. Jinyoung feels a warm palm on his back, stroking his skin slowly. “Sleep well, Sugartoast.”

“Sleep well.”

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

His plan to keep Mark in place underneath himself for the whole night proved to be unsuccessful. He just moved too much that night and woke up with his limbs all over the place. But Mark was still beside him and that's the most important thing. Of course the blond was already awake when Jinyoung blinked the sleep away.

Mark once again persuaded him to get up to eat breakfast. To Jinyoung's satisfaction, Mark stepped up his game even more. Not only sugar and strawberry jam are there to choose. This time Mark even offers him cherry jam, honey and hazelnut spread. It's a whole feast for his sweet-loving tongue.

So they sit together at Mark's small kitchen table, listening to the soundtrack of 'Control' while Jinyoung, like so often, starts to rattle away. “You know how it is when you sometimes get those cosmetic samples in those little packets and there are only descriptions like 'relaxation for body and mind' or 'help to find your inner middle' printed on them, but it doesn't actually say what it is, what the real effect is and to which body part you should apply the contents?! And then you squeeze this generic white cream into your palm and you think: what am I supposed to do with it now? Eating? Applying? Rubbing it in? And where? Hands? Face? Elbows? Feet? Neck? Behind the ears? Hair? Hair tips? Hair line? It could be anything. So I tell myself to look this product up online, because what if I apply a hair mask to my face? Would my skin just burn away? I don't want to take any chances when it comes to this. So I tell myself to check out what this is for, but I always end up not doing it, because let's be honest, I have more important stuff to do than looking up cosmetics online. So most of the time I end up throwing them away after those samples collected dust for three months. Isn't this annoying?”

“I don't use a lot of cosmetics to be honest, much less some weird samples. But maybe that's the reason why you're so good-looking, Sugartoast.”

“And why are _you_ so good-looking then? Did your parents give some kind of fairy milk to baby Mark?”

Mark snickers and Jinyoung likes that he already managed to make him laugh today.

“At least not as far as I know. But thank you. As soon as I notice some magic powers, I will immediately notify you.”

They clean up the kitchen together, being very lovely, in Jinyoung's opinion. And then Mark convinces him that it wouldn't be awkward to have a little dance party in his kitchen on a Saturday morning with just the both of them. Jinyoung has so much fun, it almost feels like a fever dream.

Everything feels so perfect, until the doorbell rings. Somehow by now, Jinyoung believed that he would be the only one who would ring the doorbell of this apartment. But now Jinyoung finds out how wrong he is. They look at each other and Mark only shrugs. He walks out of the kitchen while Jinyoung stays behind, though he still creeps to the doorframe to sneak peeks of the potential visitor.

And to everyone's surprise it's Mark's best friend Jae-Jae who storms inside and immediately wraps his arms around a perplexed Mark. And even more surprising it is that he is actually crying into Mark's chest.

“Hey Jae-Jae, baby boo, what's up? What's going on?” It's not very honorable but Jinyoung has to admit that he hates Mark using this soft voice on somebody who isn't him.

“Mark! I.... and...and Jackson he... he's a bastard!”

“Jackson? Jackson Wang? What the heck did Jackson do that you're so upset?” Mark fusses while wrapping his arms around him. Never before did he see Mark this alarmed. And again a little pang goes off in his heart. He wishes that Mark would look so worried and emotionally involved because of him as well.

“I'm sorry, Mark. I'm sorry. I should have told you but I was a little scared because I know he's your friend and I know you slept with him once before and I know I shouldn't have done it but-”

“Hey, calm down, okay?” Mark gently interrupts his desperate ramblings. “Just tell me what happened. You hooked up with Jackson?”

“Y-Yes. And it wasn't only once. It was often. And it was going good. Even great. I thought.... I feel so dumb now but I thought,” he chokes a little on his sobs before he can continue talking. “I really thought he would have feelings for me. Or maybe I imagined it because of my own growing feelings for him, but I swear Mark, I swear I thought he would fall in love with me just like I fell in love with him. But just now he told me that there is someone else and he's in love with that somebody and wants to start a relationship with him, and he kind of weirdly offered me to stay! Can you believe it? This fucker is in love with somebody else but pathetic me can still stick around. Isn't that nice?” he whimpers and despite the fact that Jinyoung isn't very fond of him, he thinks it's heartbreaking.

And with the force of a brick hitting his head, Jinyoung realizes. He realizes that Jae-Jae is actually Youngjae. And he realizes that he, his own doing, is part of the misery in front of him. He slowly steps out of the kitchen to have a better look at Mark's face, while Youngjae buried himself in his chest, crying his heart out.

Jinyoung can spot the exact moment, when Mark realizes everything as well. His pretty doe eyes stare back at him, first round and surprised, then they're getting small under his knitted brows. Then he realizes that also he played a part in this outcome, in hurting his best friend. They both fucked up. Mark told him that it's the right thing to help Jackson reconnecting with Jaebum, and Jinyoung was actually the one who conducted it. They are both part of this development and it's scary. In a matter of seconds, several emotions flash across his face. There's surprise, confusion, shock, irritation, and there is anger. But when the blond tears his eyes away from him to look down at the boy who's still clinging to his frame, there's raw desperation visible on his features. Mark wraps his arms tighter around his Youngjae, pulling him even closer, holding him as if his protective embrace could keep away the pain.

And then he starts shaking. Mark trembles like crazy. If the trigger is the helplessness of this situation or the returning anger, Jinyoung does not know. But Mark slowly starts to shake his head. And Jinyoung can see his lips moving. He thinks Mark is mouthing 'No' again and again while one of his hands comes up to stroke soothingly over his friend's head. Mark is still shaking, but his Youngjae seems so lost in his own pain that he doesn't even notice it.

Jinyoung feels also very helpless. He also feels like an alien in a world where he shouldn't even have access to. Watching this scene in front of him shouldn't be allowed. He shouldn't be here. He shouldn't have done what he has done. He made a mistake and he realizes much to late. There's no way to mend it. And he feels sorry, so sorry but also scared.

Jinyoung swallows down an imaginary lump in his throat before he slowly starts to approach the two boys. “Mark,” he whispers once, then a second time. Youngjae's head turns slightly against Mark's chest, his teary eyes switch from sorrow to disgust in a split second as he spots Jinyoung.

“What is _he_ doing here?” the boy hisses.

“He just came over,” Mark explains, still using his softest voice on him.

“Mark, we did talk about him, didn't we? And still he's here?” The disgust is obvious in Youngjae's voice as he glares at Jinyoung as if he wants to murder him with the sole power of his gaze.

“Sh sh sh,” Mark tries to soothe this new wave of emotions. “That's not important now.” Mark uses his palm on the back of Youngjae's head to turn his head so that his face is against his chest again.

“Mark,” Jinyoung tries again, not whispering anymore, but with a pleading note in his voice. He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know a single thing anymore.

“No,” Mark simply states, quick and cold. “Just leave.”

“B-But I-”

“Leave!” His tone is harsh. The fire in his eyes is gone to a place Jinyoung doesn't know. A frostiness which he has never seen before in those eyes replaced the warmth. He feels tears starting to well up. He wants to speak. He wants to defend himself. He wants to say sorry. But he can't. He can't say anything when these judging, cold eyes are pinning him to the bottom of desperation.

Jinyoung blinks and notices the first teardrop falling from his lashes. He feels nauseous and dizzy and not at all in a state to initiate a discussion, which Mark obviously doesn't even want to hold with him. So he snaps out of his immobility and bolts out of the apartment without looking back.

Mark doesn't call after him. Of course not, since he wanted him to leave. Of course he puts his best friend before Jinyoung. Because Jinyoung is nothing to him. Just a mere distraction on the side. When it comes to important things, to emotional care and involvement, it's not Jinyoung who would benefit. And that hurts, more than Jinyoung would have guessed.

It actually hurts the most when you realize that people you deeply care about don't care about you at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please have a bit more patience. We soon will get some answers. :)


	8. Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. I just want to drop a quick thank you to everyone who took the trouble to comment on this story. It is pure joy to read all your opinions on every chapter. I also love how very different some of them are. That makes it a whole lot more interesting for me. YAY :)

He cried too much recently. Jinyoung knows it. And every freaking tear he shed was for Mark Tuan. But this valuable realization still can't stop his tears from running down his face all the way to his dorm room.

Jinyoung is glad when he arrives in his own little sanctuary. His head hurts, his eyes burn and his heart is aching. He just wants to sleep until he feels better. Because sleep helps. He will feel better after that. He must. Because like this, he can't stay. He can't continue to exist feeling terrible like this.

But his mind doesn't do him this favor. Lying in his bed alone reminds him of last night with Mark and how he treated him. From hot passion to endearing gentleness, he had shown him everything. How he smiled at him. That was special. He can't believe that it all meant nothing. Not for Jinyoung, for him it meant everything. But for Mark it obviously wasn't reason enough to at least speak with him about what happened with Youngjae. Right now he's so disappointed that he doesn't think there's ever a chance to overcome it.

When sleep continues to fail him, he simply goes the easiest route and silently keeps crying into his pillow. After one more hour he's absolutely exhausted. He hit rock bottom. The tormenting thoughts about Mark, the constantly recurring images of his warm smile in stark contrast to his icy stare, push him to his emotional limits.

But he doesn't have any more tears to shed and he also can't bear those images any longer. So he eventually crawls out of bed and tries to regain his balance. He feels dizzy and still terrible, but if he isn't able to run away from his current misery he at least can confront Jackson with the disaster he caused.

So Jinyoung trudges through the corridor of his dorm building. When he arrives in front of Jackson's room he heaves a deep sigh before he knocks. But of course it isn't Jackson who opens the door. Just his luck.

“Jinyoung...,” Alex says as he stares at him with his huge, surprised eyes.

“Is Jackson in?” Jinyoung croaks. His voice sounds pathetic.

“No, he's out.... for a while already. He said he would meet somebody for breakfast?”

Breaking hearts over breakfast, Jinyoung thinks, awesome Jackson.

“Where is he now?”

“I don't know. He didn't tell me. Are you okay, Jinyoung?”

“No.“

“Yeah.... you don't look okay, to be honest. Do you want to come in?” Of course he would notice that Jinyoung cried his eyes out. No use denying it.

“I need to talk to Jackson.”

“Did he do anything to you?”

“Not.... to me. I still need to talk to him.”

“Did you try calling-”

“No. I need to talk to him _in person_.”

“Did you cry?”

Jinyoung remains silent for a while. Alex's big, hazelnut-brown eyes are dipped in worry as they search his face. Involuntarily Mark's words about Alex's fly-eyes rush through his mind and it hurts. Every thought related to Mark suddenly hurts. Mark hurts.

“Jinyoung, I don't know what's going on but please come in. I don't want you to be alone in this state.”

There's silence again as Jinyoung tries to think. But he can't. His mind is blank. It's not the blissful nothingness which Mark always gives him. It's a thick, impenetrable fog which blocks all of his thoughts.

“Jinyoung?”

Eventually he just walks past Alex to enter the room. He collapses on Jackson's bed, bumping his back against the wall. He feels jaded, as if it would have taken him three hours to get from one room to another. Jinyoung snatches one of Jackson's pillows to hug it tightly and buries his chin in it. Unexpectedly Alex plops down right beside him.

“What happened?” Jinyoung doesn't look at him but he knows the other is observing him with his sympathetic gaze. “Did Jackson really do something to you? But then again, he adores you. He wouldn't hurt you on purpose. But maybe.... does this other guy have something to do with this? This Mark guy?” His tone shifts from gentle to angry in a heartbeat. “Did _he_ hurt you?”

Jinyoung doesn't want to, he really doesn't, but he can't stop his tears from welling up in his eyes again after Alex's question brings back mental images of Mark.

“Oh god, Jinyoung no... please...,” he stammers after seeing the tears sliding down his cheeks. “Please tell me he didn't hurt you physically.”

Jinyoung slightly shakes his head. He still avoids eye contact with the worried boy but he at least has to get across that he's not injured.

“That means... he hurt you in another way?” he asks cautiously. Jinyoung notices that he's scooting closer. The tiny sob that escapes his throat sounds weird, probably pathetic. And suddenly a hand enters his field of vision and wipes the tears away. “Are you in love with him?” the soft voice reaches his ears. Jinyoung squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, trying to stop his tears that way. But it's useless. They just keep coming. He lets out another sob and nods quickly. “Okay,” Alex whispers. “And he?”

A shiver runs down Jinyoung's spine and lets him tremble. He snivels into the pillow and answers with a weird combination of shaking his head no and shrugging his shoulders.

“Oh Jinyoung....” he pities. “What kind of love is this that makes you feel so miserable?” Jinyoung turns his head for the first time since they occupied the bed, and Alex's soft eyes with all the obvious empathy in them, elicit another woeful sob from him.

The boy wraps his arms around Jinyoung tenderly. “I can't even understand how he can hurt you like that,” he murmurs into Jinyoung's ear. “You're so special, so adorable and sweet. Just how dare he not appreciate you in the slightest.”

Jinyoung just cries into Alex's shoulder while he listens to his words. They are supposed to soothe him but they don't. They simply drive his mind back to the painful situation earlier. Mark's icy stare rages through his mind again and again and hurts like a fresh wound. So Jinyoung barely notices when warm lips gingerly caress his neck. He's too occupied to mourn after what could have been the love of his life.

He only realizes that something goes the wrong way when Alex cups his face in his hands and captures Jinyoung's lips in a kiss.

Jinyoung knows he should tell Alex that he's not interested once again. He should push him away. And under no circumstances he should let him kiss him. But Alex is willing to show him affection and give him warmth. Two things which Jinyoung longs for right now. So even though he knows it's not right, he's too weak to fight it. And why should he anyway? Why should he refuse this willingly offered devotion and care? Isn't this how it's supposed to be? It's easy. He just has to fall and somebody is there to catch him. He doesn't have to work for it. He doesn't have to do a single thing. Only falling. And somebody is there to embrace him. Only it's not Mark. But it should be Mark. And there Jinyoung remembers why it's wrong to let himself fall.

He's about to pull away when the door flies open and a surprised Jackson calls out, “WOW WOW WOW WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?”

Naturally they flinch away from each other and stare at Jackson.

“What happened to you?” Jinyoung croaks as he spots Jackson's bleeding lip.

“Don't change the subject! What were you two doing?”

“I think it was obvious,” Alex murmurs.

Jinyoung looks at the slightly sulky boy in bewilderment. Slowly he realizes what he has done just now.

“We need to talk, Jackson,” Jinyoung blurts out as he jumps to his feet. But Alex grabs his hand before he can get out of reach.

“Jinyoung. Don't leave. It was going so well,” he says while his pleading eyes stare up at Jinyoung.

“No, no no no no Alex. Nothing was going well. I.... _This_ was not what I wanted. This was a mistake.”

“But... but he only hurts you.”

“That doesn't mean I have feelings for you. These are two separate issues. I... I need to talk to Jackson now.” Jinyoung frees his hand from Alex's grip. While rushing past the surprised Jackson, he grasps his arm and drags him outside.

When they walk through the corridor, back to Jinyoung's room, his friend wonders, “What the heck was going on in there? And you look fucking terrible. Oh my god, did Alex force you to kiss him?”

“No,” Jinyoung grumbles as he enters his own room with Jackson in tow. “I was at my most vulnerable state and cried my eyes out and he suddenly kissed me and I didn't push him away, even though I know I should have. And now I realize that it was a huge mistake. That kiss encourages him even further, when all I want is him giving up. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”

“W-wait! Most vulnerable state? What happened?”

“No, tell me first what happened to you and your face.”

“Mark Tuan happened,” he scoffs.

“Huh? Mark punched you?”

“Yeah, he texted me and asked where I was. If I would have known that he's that angry, I wouldn't have agreed to meet up,” he says sulkily. “Damn bastard, didn't even listen to what I had to say. He saw, he punched, he left,” Jackson adds and sticks out his tongue.

Jinyoung sighs when he gives Jackson a handkerchief to dab off the blood. “You ruined things for you _and_ for me, Jackson.”

“What? How did I ruin _your_ life as well?”

“Mark kicked me out and was super pissed at me after Youngjae, a.k.a. Jae-Jae, told him what you did. Because Mark knows that I made it easy for you and Jaebum to reconnect. What I didn't tell you, when I was considering if I should help you or not, I went to Mark for advice. He said you're a good soul and I should help you with this. So now he thinks it's my fault that you hurt his best friend, or at least that's what I assume because he didn't care about explaining to me why exactly he was kicking me out. And like always, I have no idea what he's thinking.”

“He said I'm a good soul? Uuhh... this boy,” Jackson coos. “Damn...... I miss the days when he was friendly with me instead of going out of his way to beat me up.”

“You deserve it a bit, for all I know.”

“I'm not really complaining. I just don't want him to be mad at me because it feels terrible. And I wish that either he or Youngjae would have taken the time to listen to me.” The boy looks so rumpled and exhausted that Jinyoung almost takes pity on him. He puts his arm around Jackson's shoulder and walks him over to his bed where they sit down, side by side.

“Jackson, you knew Youngjae was Mark's friend,” Jinyoung states reproachfully.

“Yeah, of course. As I told you, I know him for quiet some time, not as long as Mark, but long enough. Though I had no idea that Mark calls him Jae-Jae now. That wasn't the case back then.”

“But you knew that he is Mark's friend, and you still did this to him? You still broke his heart? That's nasty. I know you're a goner for Jaebum but to treat Youngjae like-”

“Hold on, please don't be like everyone else and assume things on your own before listening to me. It's enough when Youngjae and Mark are ignorant.”

“Fine. I'm thrilled at what you have to say then.”

“So _yes_, he's Mark's friend. But that still doesn't change the fact that I was convinced it wasn't anything more than sex for him. So _of course_ I wasn't particularly worried about hurting him. In consequence of that, I happily started to meet up with Jaebum to get to know him better after he contacted me. _But_..... to be honest, I didn't end it with Youngjae right away.”

“Jackson! You cheated on Jaebum?!” Jinyoung calls out, immediately outraged.

“And _that_ is why I didn't keep you in the loop with the details,” he says and rolls his eyes. “Stop being so scandalized and listen to me first. You know that Jaebum and I started out slowly. We weren't even dating, so I didn't cheat on anyone. We just spent our time talking and getting to know each other and slowly things became more serious.”

“Great explanation so far,” Jinyoung grumbles with all the sarcasm he has in store.

“But then the time came, the boyfriend stage I mean, when I knew I had to let go of Youngjae.... but suddenly I couldn't do it anymore. Suddenly it was me who developed feelings for him. And it was a real problem. I started to be worried by then.”

“Already, yeah?”

“Jinyoung, your snide remarks don't help here.”

“You just told me that you were about to be my best friend's boyfriend but then realized that you have feelings for your fuck buddy instead. You deserve another punch, much more than _only_ snide remarks.”

“Not 'instead', Jinyoung. I realized I had feelings for Youngjae _as well_, not _instead_.”

“W-W-What? Oh... awesome. Really awesome. It's getting better and better,” he grouses and throws his hands up in despair.

“Listen until the end, Jinyoungie. Just listen,” Jackson suggests calmly, still convinced that Jinyoung wouldn't hit him in the head after he has finished his oh so great explanation. “So when I pondered over what I should do, something unexpected happened. Jaebum saw a pic of Youngjae in my phone, by accident how I would like to point out. And to put it mildly, he was surprised. He told me that he met this boy at a party before. And I was like, you know Youngjae? And he was like, well, not really. He told me about this party and how he met Youngjae in the kitchen and talked with him for hours. He said they hit it off and the night felt so perfect and magical and all this romantic stuff blah blah blah. But somehow they failed to exchange contact details before Jaebum got a call from his very upset best friend that night, who asked him to come by and distract him from terrible school work or some shit. So Jaebum ran and the night ended like this. Later he tried to ask around but nobody could tell him how to get in touch with this boy he met at the party. Tragic, right?”

“What? Are you kidding me? Is this some kind of drama plot?”

“Nope, it really happened. I was surprised as well. But it's awesome right? You're probably the reason why they aren't dating already,” Jackson cackles.

“That's kind of.... disturbing,” Jinyoung murmurs in bewilderment. “I already feel guilty enough. You don't have to rub it in. It's just that.... Jaebum never told me about this night.”

“Of course not. You're his little prince. Like he would ever tell you that you might have ruined something for him. He wouldn't want you to feel guilty.”

“But now you tell me,” Jinyoung points out.

“Well now it needs to be told in order for you to understand, right? It's not me who wants you to feel guilty either.”

“Fine... fine. Just go on with your story.”

“Alright, so we have Jaebum who longed to meet Youngjae again and we have me, who kind of has feelings for Jaebum _and_ Youngjae. But also Jaebum and I, we are good together. We both know it. So Jaebum and I, we kind of...... _contemplated_ what it would be like to be together, the three of us.”

“WHAT?” Jinyoung screeches. “You and Jaebum, my best friend, _Jaebum _discussed how it would be to start a polyamorous relationship?”

“Don't judge us, okay?”

“I..... try?” Jinyoung stammers baffled. “But Youngjae didn't know any of this, right?”

“That's correct. So today over breakfast I wanted to ask him what he would think about this kind of thing. I had to be careful. I mean he didn't saw Jaebum for a long time as well and neither of us knew if this magical night was as magical for Youngjae as it was for Jaebum. Also at that time I had no idea that he feels enough for me to burst into tears at the prospect of ending our dubious relationship. So yeah, careful, really really careful. But in the end Youngjae ran out crying before I was able to lay out my case. I couldn't even bring up Jaebum's name.”

“_Very_ careful you were, it seems.”

“Oh shut up. Try to broach such a delicate subject in this situation and show that you can do it better,” Jackson grumbles.

“No, thank you,” Jinyoung sasses and crosses his arms on his chest.

“Anyway, Youngjae still doesn't know that the guy who is involved is his party love Jaebum and right now he plainly thinks that I want to be with someone else but want to keep him as a toy, or something like that he was screaming at me before he ran. So yeah, next thing I know, Mark, the angel of revenge, turns up and socks me in the face. And then I see you and Alex kissing and then you're telling me I ruined your life and yeah, not the best Saturday in my life, to be honest.”

“That's a lot to take in,” Jinyoung sighs.

“Yep, it is. But I still don't know why Mark is angry with _you_.”

“I don't know that either. But I feel like shit.”

“Yeah, I get that. Sorry.”

“Just.... fix this somehow, Jackson. You need to fix this for yourself and Jaebum and also for Youngjae.”

“Oh believe me, that's my first priority. But next time I will take Jaebum with me. Hopefully it will be easier to smooth things out with Youngjae.”

“Good luck.”

“And what will you do?”

“I will just cry until my head falls off.”

“Usually I support your plans but this time I'm not fully convinced.”

“I..... I just don't know what to do anymore.”

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

Like Jinyoung already predicted it, the following days were like torture. He broke into tears at the most random times. He was unfocused all day, every day, and his whole body hurt. But most of all his heart was filled with pain.

It's been eerily quiet around him. Jackson was working on his questionable relationship project but he didn't tell Jinyoung about any details. That was good. Jinyoung wasn't in any condition to busy himself with the problems of other people. Also he couldn't find the strength in him to contact Jaebum and talk with him about this odd development in his love life. He would have to push that back until later, when he would feel human again. If he would feel human ever again.

And of course Mark hasn't contacted him, at least not until the following Friday. Mark tried to call him twice today but Jinyoung didn't pick up. Every time he saw his name on his display, tears were rolling down his cheeks. He couldn't manage to talk to him. Jinyoung is afraid of even harsher words than he already received from Mark. But also a smoldering anger slowly built up in him during the past days. Yes, Jinyoung is in love with Mark but he also can't understand why this boy would put him through such a hell when it wasn't truly Jinyoung's fault that Jackson acted like he acted or that Youngjae didn't stay long enough to listen to him. Why is he the one who gets punished? It doesn't make sense. It's unfair. Jinyoung is mad at the whole world right now.

He decides that he needs distraction. Jinyoung can't bear to cry even more. So a bit half-heartedly he gets ready to go out. He doesn't even make any effort to try and ask if somebody wants to come along. He doesn't want to talk. He only wants drinks, loud music and to dance his problems away. And like a flash, the memory of Mark comes back, how he fucked him so good that all of his problems seemed to fly out of the window. His tears almost start to fall again but he can't let this happen. He needs to get out of his room and out of his loop of thoughts.

His first disappointment in the club is that Yugyeom isn't working tonight. He believes that his friendly smile and his positive attitude would have soothed his pain at least a tiny bit. But no, this is not for him, he realizes and snorts at nobody in particular. Now the second disappointment: Yong-hoe is working tonight and offers him a nasty smirk when he orders three vodka shots to quickly numb his mind. He doesn't talk to him. He just wants to drink up and get away.

The way to the dance floor is short but troublesome. Why are people so annoying? Then again, maybe it's not people's fault. Jinyoung is tipsy and sad and alone and in a club. Not the best combination. He knows that himself. Still he starts to dance to the loud music. Slowly he feels better as the vodka kicks in. The sweat forms heavy droplets on his temples while he continues to move his body to the beats. Random people slide into his field of vision. He starts to dance with them without even looking at them properly. He closes his eyes a lot to not have to be the victim of sleazy flirting. There is hope that he can forget that way. Because the pain didn't lessen over the course of the past days and something needs to help eventually. So with all his might, he hopes that this something is getting drunk and exhausting his body.

When he opens his eyes the next time, a familiar face is in front of him, looking excited and happy and all the things Jinyoung can't feel anymore. It's Mark's friend. Jinyoung searches in the depth of his sadness for the name. He remembers it was something unique, he himself said so. BamBam! The boy named BamBam is dancing with him and opens and closes his mouth. Jinyoung doesn't understand any of the words he's trying to tell him so he makes that clear with some hand gestures. The other seems to ponder only for a second before he snatches Jinyoung's wrist and pulls him off the dance floor.

He ushers him away from the speakers and loud music. To Jinyoung's dismay he realizes that this is the corner where he met Mark for the first time, where Mark's blazing eyes captured him, where Mark asked him to have sex. His eyes glisten with tears once more but Jinyoung tries his best to blink them away. This isn't like his evening was supposed to go.

BamBam finally lets go of him and Jinyoung collapses with all his weight against the wall. The other boy lingers close in front of him.

“Jinyoung!” he cheers. “What a coincidence to meet you here.”

“Hey, BamBam,” he answers flatly.

“How are you doing?”

“Fine.” Small talk. He really has to struggle through the small talk routine now? Maybe it would have been better to stay in bed. “How are you?”

“Good! Really, even better now after I met you. You have a new hair cut, right? Looks amazing on you. You were good-looking before but this is a new kind of sexy here.”

“Uhm... thank you?”

“You're hooking up with Mark these days.” That's not a question. He's stating the fact which he knows is true. “I didn't see him here tonight. Are you alone?”

“Yeah,” Jinyoung answers quietly. He offers also a nod because he's not sure if the other boy even heard his reply.

“Why?”

“We're fighting.” Why has he said this? It's not an information to share with a mere acquaintance in a club. He could have answered a lot more vaguely but somehow didn't.

“Oh, that's sad to hear. But the two of you aren't in a relationship anyway, right?”

What is this guy thinking to talk so casually about Jinyoung's relationship or not-relationship? He gets a little annoyed now. “No. But we can fight and still make up, right?”

“Yeah, sure. I was just asking to satisfy my own curiosity. So... you're in a bad mood.”

Jinyoung nods and BamBam finally got the message, he thinks.

“How about doing something fun? Maybe I can take your mind off everything?” he says with a smirk on his lips. Jinyoung only stares at him. What exactly is he offering here? More drinks? A good, long talk? Or something completely different? But while Jinyoung searches his tipsy mind for clues, the other boy already leans in.

Jinyoung is unable to react. His brain is in panic, questioning every single brain cell separately if this is a good development or a very, very bad one. He stares wide-eyed at the boy, watching him come closer as if the scene would happen in slow motion.

His lips barely brushed Jinyoung's when BamBam draws back abruptly. Jinyoung is so confused, he can't comprehend what is going on, not until he spots Mark.

The blond grabbed BamBam's shoulder and pulled him back. The startled boy now has to deal with a seemingly grumpy Mark and his death glare.

Mark looks so good. Jinyoung missed seeing him so badly. Like a landslide, the realization buries him. Once again he takes in the details of his handsome face, which he probably could paint nearly to perfection, even though not having the talent to paint at all. Everything about Mark is dazzling. His perfect doe eyes, the curve of his lips, his shiny blond strands, his long neck which is covered in fading hickeys, his slender fingers which are still digging into the fabric of BamBam's shirt. To see all the details again affects him deeply. Despite having them neatly engraved into his mind, seeing the details of his loved one in reality almost makes him cry again.

“Hey BamBam, you should back off,” Mark suggests sternly.

“What? Where d-do you come from s-so suddenly?

“I think your boyfriend wouldn't approve of this,” Mark says and completely ignores BamBam's stammered question.

“You have a boyfriend?” Jinyoung blurts out, now being fully perplexed.

“Y-Yes, but we have an open relationship. It's fine to have fun on the side.” BamBam is obviously eager to explain himself.

“Have fun on another side,” Mark growls.

“Hey! You can't just shoo me away. Jinyoung is upset because of you so what right do you-”

“Write me a letter of complaint and I promise I won't read it.”

“HEY,” BamBam objects strongly. “I will stay. Jinyoung and I were about to have some fun.”

“So Jinyoung, is this okay for you as well to have _some fun_ with a guy who has a boyfriend?” Mark now addresses him for the first time. Their eyes meet and it feels exciting and familiar all at once.

“What? No! I didn't even want to have some fun or anything. I was literally just standing here and had no idea what was happening,” Jinyoung hurries to clear up. “Also I don't want to interfere in a relationship. I never intended to do that!”

“But I just told you that it's fine. No need to worry,” BamBam tries to calm him down.

“You also might not know that this said boyfriend is Yugyeom,” Mark enlightens him.

“WHAT?” Jinyoung screeches. “Oh my god, NO!” Jinyoung hides his face behind his palms. He can't believe he was about to make out with Yugyeom's boyfriend. Yugyeom, his nice and great new friend, who he likes so much. Jinyoung was on the verge of fucking this up and is glad that he was saved from it.

“Bam, just scram and find Yugyeom. And fucking stop breaking his heart on a weekly basis with this open relationship bullshit,” Mark scolds.

“But we have one!”

“Because _you_ wanted one.”

“But he was okay with it.”

“He just didn't want to lose you, dumbass. So he agreed. How much more stupid do you wanna get?”

“He.... what? He never told me.”

“How very surprising,” Mark says completely unimpressed and rolls his eyes. “Go find him and be thankful that he didn't drop you yet.”

“HE WANTS TO DROP ME?” Panic is now obvious on BamBam's face and in his voice.

“No, because he's a faithful little bean and somehow in love with you. But if you continue to hurt him, _I_ will drop you.... off a bridge.”

“Scary bastard,” BamBam murmurs while he turns around to leave them finally alone.

“Yeah yeah, whatever. Don't forget to tell Yugyeom that you love him,” Mark calls after him.

“I really should get rid of this little troublemaker. But that means also getting rid of Yugy and I really want to keep him. What should I do?” Mark asks with a little smile on his lips.

Jinyoung just shrugs while his eyes sweep over the floor.

“You didn't pick up my calls,” Mark points out with a sudden softness in his voice.

“I wasn't obligated to do so.” He still doesn't look at Mark. He's also not obligated to look at him.

“I wanted to talk to you.”

Jinyoung shrugs again.

“Can we talk _now_? Maybe... not here? Can we go outside?”

Jinyoung shakes his head no. He's not that easy to persuade. But he's glad that he's still looking down instead of at the boy he loves. It would be way harder to resist any of Mark's requests if he would look into his eyes.

“Hey Jinyoung,” he says. There is a pleading note in his voice now. Mark steps closer and places his palms on Jinyoung's hips.

“Take your hands off me, _now_!” Jinyoung grumbles and eventually lifts his head to glare at him. For a moment Mark's eyes become round in surprise, then he immediately takes his hands away as if they were burned. Now Jinyoung is a bit sorry for his harsh statement but Mark simply can't treat him like trash only to come back to him and pretend nothing happened.

“Sorry,” Mark eventually says, “not only for this but also for-”

“Hey Mark,” Yong-hoe interrupts. He appeared out of the blue behind Mark and put his palm on Mark's nape to get his attention. This image makes Jinyoung's blood boil in a split second. This neck belongs to him and isn't for this hoe to touch as if it would be something completely natural to do.

“Yeah? What's up?” Mark slightly scowls at the bartender. Jinyoung can see that the interruption annoys him.

“I was wondering if you're up for some free drinks. I treat you?” the guy asks with this nasty smirk on his face and his dirty hand still on Mark's neck. Jinyoung is on the verge of biting that hand away.

“No, thanks. We're in the middle of a conversation here so can you maybe-”

“But our Jinyoung here doesn't look like he wants to talk to you so much,” the sleazeball coos and that's all it takes for Jinyoung to lose it.

“You're wrong. I do want to talk to him. Outside! Now! Without you!” He offers his most dismissive look before he snatches Mark's hand and pulls him towards the exit. Gladly Mark isn't bitchy about it at all. He follows willingly.

As soon as they are out of the club Jinyoung lets go of his hand.

“I knew he wanted to sleep more with you than with me. I just _knew_ it!” Jinyoung fusses.

“Who cares when he ends up not sleeping with either of us,” Mark states casually.

“He annoys me somehow,” Jinyoung keeps grumbling.

“Stop thinking about him. He is not important. Jinyoung, what I wanted to tell you is that I am really sorry. I shouldn't have acted like that, like you were at any fault for what happened to Jae-Jae. Because you weren't. I'm also sorry for taking so long to tell you that. I'm also sorry for kicking you out. Basically I am just really sorry. You don't deserve such treatment.”

Jinyoung is surprised by this sudden and thorough apology. That's not what he expected at all. Also the softness in Mark's eyes almost lets him lose every bit of his dignity. With all his strength he tries to stop himself from finding immediate comfort in Mark's arms.

“Then why did you do it?”

“I was... confused. I can't stand seeing Jae-Jae hurt. I just.... can't. And the thought that I somehow am connected to his misery.... it just messed with my mind. And so I ended up being a jerk and I took it out on you.”

Jinyoung looks at him and he literally sees how sorry Mark is. He wishes a tiny bit that he could stay mad at him for a little longer but the boy admitted his fault completely and Jinyoung is still very infatuated with him.

“Hey,” Mark's soft voice snaps him to attention. “I am sorry. Really sorry. Stop looking at me with this adorable pout or I can't restrain myself from kissing you. And that would involve touching you and then you might get mad at me again.”

“Maybe you should take a shot,” Jinyoung dares, still pouting.

Mark smiles sweetly as he comes closer and takes Jinyoung's hands in his. But instead of kissing Jinyoung's lips, he guides his hands to his mouth and softly kisses Jinyoung's fingers.

“I don't want to push my luck,” he whispers against his skin. But his eyes twinkle mischievously when he looks up at Jinyoung from under his lashes.

An exaggerated sigh falls from Jinyoung's lips. “Mark Tuan, you truly like to play with fire.”

“Does that mean you forgive me?” he says and his smile is unbearably cheeky and also a blessing for Jinyoung's eyes and soul.

“I guess so,” Jinyoung mumbles.

“Then would you please come home with me tonight?”

Jinyoung's heart flutters in his chest while a nervous tingle of anticipation grabs hold of his stomach. Finally he can spend time with Mark again. Finally his wounds can heal. He decides to simply nod because Mark's eyes are so deep and intense that he doesn't trust his voice right now.

The smile that blooms on the other's lips is like a reward for Jinyoung. The blond let's go of one of his hands but the other one, he keeps holding as if it would be his property. And hand in hand, side by side they stroll down the sidewalk to find a taxi.

“You punched Jackson,” Jinyoung says quietly after some minutes of comfortable silence.

“Of course I did. He messed with my best friend. Remember that you didn’t want that to happen to your best friend either?”

“Yes, and you said that he is responsible for himself and his decisions aren’t my business. So why are Youngjae’s decisions _your _business?”

“It’s not about him making the decision to sleep with Jackson. I don't care about that at all. It’s about Jackson really going there and breaking his heart. At that point it became my business.”

“Huh, interesting.”

“How so?”

“So if Youngjae somehow ends up hurting Jaebum, I would be entitled to beat him up as well, yeah? Interesting.”

“Excuse me, what? I'm afraid I can't follow.”

Like Jinyoung expected, Mark has still no idea what goes on with their friends right now. So he makes good use of their way to his apartment to fill him in about the unusual plans which have been developed. He enjoys how Mark's eyes grow huge with every new sentence of his. In the end Mark is as astonished as Jinyoung was when he heard everything for the first time.

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

Jinyoung missed him so much. He missed being held by those strong arms, being touched by those warm hands and being kissed by those soft lips. Those eyes full of fire, he missed them the most. They are back. The icy chill is gone and the blazing heat is back to take Jinyoung to his exclusive paradise.

It is difficult for them. After they got out of the taxi, they immediately pounced on each other. The way up to Mark's apartment seems to be too long of a distance to go without kissing each other. On the first floor-landing Jinyoung already sucks a huge hickey into this lovely neck, which he craved for so badly. Mark's hand slips under his shirt, careful fingertips are exploring the sensitive spot just below Jinyoung's tailbone. A shiver of lust chases through Jinyoung's body. It's been too long since he enjoyed the wonders of Mark Tuan. He needs him now.

Gladly it doesn't take them too long until they lie naked in Mark's bed. It almost feels like a second home to Jinyoung by now. What he experienced in this bed already was beyond his wildest dreams. And there is still room for enhancement.

Mark is on top of him and grinds his hips into him. Jinyoung's rubbing kink comes to life. He desperately lifts his hips to meet Mark faster and harder. Every time they move against each other, a gasp or a moan escapes his throat. Jinyoung scrapes his nails across Mark's shoulders and down his back. He wants to feel the most of him and in his already delirious state, Jinyoung struggles to find out the best way for it.

Mark's teeth graze along the spot just below Jinyoung's ear. The latter moans in a rapture as he closes his eyes.

“Fuck Mark! Fuck! Harder! More!” Jinyoung mindlessly babbles. “I need you inside me. How I missed this. I missed you.”

He feels Mark's eyes slide over his face and when he looks up at him, his heart loses its steady rhythm. This sudden realization of how handsome and how warm and how absolutely unique Mark is, will someday make his heart stop entirely.

But for now he just enjoys the heat between them and the simmering gaze searching his face and these hot lips which find his. Mark kisses him hard while his hips still do wonders down south. Jinyoung gasps into the kiss. Mark is definitely hungry for him. Maybe the blond missed this as well.

When Mark finally lets Jinyoung breathe again his hands undertake a tour of discovery. They start to stroke the sensitive skin of Jinyoung's lower abdomen. Then they continue gliding to his abs, caressing them tenderly until a shiver races through Jinyoung's upper body. The sensation is a bit much to process, combined with the friction between their hips. Jinyoung is a helpless, moaning mess and he knows that Mark likes it. So the latter continues. His hands skim up to his pecs, where he gives a light squeeze. Mark hums satisfied while he enjoys the firmness of Jinyoung's chest. His warm fingers wander further, tracing the curve of Jinyoung's collarbones until they slide over the tops of his shoulders and reach around his neck.

His hands slowly tighten and add more pressure. It's getting harder to breathe. This is when Jinyoung snaps out of his hazy state of bliss. Panic bubbles up inside of him at light speed.

“Jackson! Jackson!” Jinyoung whispers. The hands squeezing around his windpipe make it hard to speak but he tries again, more firmly when he croaks, “Jackson!” He pushes his hands into Mark's chest to underline his statement.

Mark immediately takes his hands off him and sits up straight. He stares down at Jinyoung with wide eyes and an otherwise unreadable expression.

“I don't..... I don't want this,” Jinyoung says feebly as he rubs his neck. Mark is still not moving, neither his body nor his face. Jinyoung panics again, now for a different reason. Is Mark disappointed with him? Did he expect him to be more open-minded about those things? Does he hate him now? Maybe he should just have played along. Maybe it wouldn't have been this bad. On the other hand, every fiber of his body was bristling with resistance. An enormous amount of adrenaline still pumps through his system. How could he just endure and pretend like he would be okay? “I-I'm s-sorry,” he starts to stammer. “I.. uhm... I-”

“Are you dumb?”

“Huh?”

“Don't say sorry. And don't _be_ sorry. I expected you to tell me as soon as you would feel uncomfortable with anything I do. That was the whole point of the safe word. And I'm glad you really put it to use. But under no circumstances you should feel sorry now.”

“Oh,” Jinyoung breathes. “I thought you were disappointed.... or something.”

“Idiot.”

“Hey!” Jinyoung fusses at the insult.

Mark leans down and pushes his face into the curve of Jinyoung's neck. “Disappointed my ass. It's just right that you tell me what you like and dislike. It's not working when only one of us is enjoying this.”

“Oh... okay.”

“Wait,” Mark says sternly and lifts his head so that they are face-to-face. “Did you do stuff you didn't want to do so far? Was there anything you just suffered through to not 'disappoint' me?”

“No. I promise,” Jinyoung assures softly when he recognizes the worry on Mark's face.

“Good,” he whispers with obvious relief. He leans down again and peppers his neck with soft kisses, right where his hands have been before. Every time Mark gets deep into these spheres of tenderness, Jinyoung could melt on the spot. It makes him question their current relationship. Because how can somebody treat another person this preciously without being in love? Just how can Mark do all that and not be in love with him? But maybe only his inner wish for Mark's love fuels these thoughts. It's better to not rely on them too much.

Jinyoung enjoys all the care a lot, but as sweet as it is, there is still one problem.

“Mark?”

“Hmmm?” the boy hums into his skin.

“But.... uhm.... I still need to come.”

“You..... do?” At this Mark lifts his head. His perfect, warm eyes are full of surprise. “I thought this kind of ruined the mood.”

“But it didn't ruin my hard-on, and yours neither as far as I can feel.”

“Well, that's true.” Mark offers him this smile which is a mix of sweet, shy and amused. Jinyoung loves it. It reminds him that he doesn't only love this confident, wild and determined part of him. He loves every single side of Mark.

“Okay, my turn.” In one swift move Jinyoung turns them both over so that Mark lies on his back and Jinyoung hovers above him. Wide doe eyes are blinking up at Jinyoung.

“And what is happening now?”

“Only good things,” Jinyoung whispers before he leans down to press a kiss into his lips. Mark responds immediately. Their kisses will always remain the best.

Jinyoung now carries on what Mark started before. He's rolling his hips against the boy, starting out slowly. But Mark seems to be pretty keen on his actions and also presses his hips into Jinyoung. The blond growls when their erections slide together at the same time their tongues do.

He feels Mark's hands sneaking up on him, one tangling in his hair, the other one grabbing one of his ass cheeks. Jinyoung moans into his mouth. He always feels like every problem in life is solvable when he's together with Mark like this, so close, so in sync, so unstoppable. It's their own power, so precious and so rare in this world.

He keeps grinding down. But that isn't enough anymore. So with a bit of regret he breaks their kiss to focus on other parts. His hand reaches down to wrap around Mark's erection. The blond squeezes his eyes shut. His voice drops deep as an alluring groan rips from his throat. He's moving his hips even faster than before, fucking himself into Jinyoung's fist.

“God, Sugartoast. You're so good to me. So FUCK-” He chokes on his words when Jinyoung tightens his grip around his throbbing dick. “FUCK! Nnngg... fuck, your cock... you too,” Mark stammers in this onslaught of bliss, but Jinyoung gets it.

He takes his own dick in his hand as well and starts to rub them together.

“Mark... oh god...,” he moans when he's hit by pleasure that comes with the friction.

“Yes! More Sugartoast,” Mark encourages him, moaning sensually.

Jinyoung strokes them good and fast. Heat stirs in his stomach, ready to shoot through his body and consume him entirely. Pre-cum gushes out of their tips, making their hard dicks sleek and ensures a lewd squelching sound.

“Mark,” he moans, “I'm so close.” Jinyoung wants to come so bad that he barely can think. But then Mark beats him to it. The blond throws his head back into the pillow and comes with an angry growl while his fingers dig into the soft flesh of Jinyoung's ass.

And that's it for Jinyoung as well. He was riding the edge so dangerously close and now he's falling, falling without landing. His orgasm hits him hard as he explodes between their stomachs.

His legs tremble, it's difficult to hold himself up for much longer. So he collapses on top of Mark, not caring about the puddle of cum between them. He pushes his face into Mark's neck. When he gasps for air he's glad that he also can inhale some of Mark's intoxicating scent.

Mark's hands are still on his butt and gently caress his cheeks now. He truly loves to fondle his ass. Clothed or naked, it doesn't matter. Jinyoung assumes that this habit might help him to calm down his loud mind or perhaps gives him some sense of security. Of course it's just an assumption, since Jinyoung never exactly knows what's going on in Mark's head. But he likes the thought a lot so he chooses to believe it.

“You love to play with my ass and I already feel the urge to rub myself on you again,” Jinyoung chuckles. “We are truly wondrous.”

“Wondrous,” Mark slowly repeats. “Yeah, we really are. But we're also cute _and_ great in bed.” Jinyoung feels the vibrations of his laughter traveling through his own chest.

“And now? Will you force me again to take a shower?” Jinyoung lifts his head and grins up at Mark.

“You still act like you didn’t enjoy it? Tsk! Brat.”

“Fine, maybe it was bearable,” Jinyoung says and attempts to suppress his giggles.

“Bearable, huh? Okay, I will never worry about your state again. Your cum-drenched body shall rot then,” Mark says with feigned annoyance and rolls Jinyoung's off himself so that he plops into the sheets beside him. Mark gets out of bed and walks towards the door.

“Where are you going?”

“Cleaning myself up. _I_ don't want my cum-drenched body to rot,” he states casually. Jinyoung's eyes stray to his firm, alluring ass by default. He revels in the sex appeal of Mark's back view until he is out of view.

“CLEAN ME UP AS WELL,” Jinyoung calls after him.

“BUT I DON'T WANT TO PUT YOU THROUGH THE CLEANING ROUTINE WHEN IT'S ANNOYING FOR YOU,” the other mocks.

Jinyoung pouts even though there is nobody there to see it. “I LIED. IT'S SUPER NICE WHEN YOU TAKE CARE OF MY CUM-DRENCHED BODY. I LIKE IT A LOT. PLEASE CLEAN ME UP AS WELL. PRETTY PLEASE-” Before he even officially ended his plea, Mark walks back in with a wet towel in his hand.

“I know,” he chuckles and sits down beside Jinyoung to wipe the cum from his belly and chest. He used warm water to wet the towel so it feels absolutely pleasant to be cleaned up. Jinyoung sighs before his lips curl up in a satisfied smile.

When he's done, Mark hangs the towel on the back of his desk chair and crawls back into bed. He covers them with his warm blanket. Immediately he sneaks an arm around Jinyoung and pulls him against his chest.

“Mhhhh, Sugartoast, like always, it was a pleasure,” he speaks quietly into Jinyoung's messy hair and nuzzles it tenderly.

“'Sugartoast', I like that name a lot.”

“Pardon?”

“I like the nickname you gave me,” Jinyoung explains while he traces patterns on Mark's bare chest with his index finger. “In the beginning I thought it was weird. I thought, wow this weird guy really gave me a weird nickname. What the heck is up with him?! But now I really like it.”

“Seems like you got used to the weird nickname and the weird guy as well,” Mark snickers.

“Seems like it,” Jinyoung whispers and presses a kiss to his chest, right above his heart.

“Why don't you have any nicknames for me though? Are you not the nickname type of guy?”

“Uuuuhm.... I actually have a few names for you but I only use them secretly,” Jinyoung admits hesitantly and glances up at Mark's curious eyes.

“You realize that I won't leave you alone until you tell me, right?” he says grinning.

“Ugh... I should have seen this coming. But you're not allowed to hate me just because of secret pet names, okay?”

“I won't hate you at all, Sugartoast. And they can't be that bad. So come on, try me.”

“The most frequent ones are wildcat, three-quarter god and....uhm.... sex demon.”

“You see me impressed,” Mark snickers after some seconds of consideration. “But you really get off on those kind of pet names? Interesting.”

“Shut up,” Jinyoung grumbles sulkily and slaps his chest lightly.

“That wasn't criticism, just curiosity. I feel flattered. Though what do I have to do to evolve from a three-quarter god to a full-fledged one?”

Love me back, Jinyoung thinks. But “I'm not gonna tell you” he answers instead. “I can't make it easy for you. A true god has to know by himself.” He lifts his head to kiss Mark's chin before he moves up to kiss away the frown wrinkles between his eyes.

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

“And that's how I managed to snag _two_ amazing boyfriends. So what do you say? I did a good job right?” Jackson finishes his 20 minutes long monologue about how he and Jaebum persuaded Youngjae to try his luck in a relationship between three people. According to him, Youngjae was delighted, especially when he met Jaebum again. Jinyoung thinks to each their own, because he definitely wouldn't be delighted if Mark would suddenly drag a third person into their bed.

But here they have Jackson, looking like the happiest little bean, and Jinyoung is glad about it. Mark and Jinyoung currently sit on Jackson's bed in his room (because Mark refused to sit on Alex's bed) next to each other. They listened to Jackson's rambling speech in silence because earlier they were asked not to interrupt him. But now they are free to talk, it seems.

“Well, Jaebum told me already that the three of you are a couple now. Wait, is it called couple with three people in it?”

“I think it's called throuple?” Mark ponders. “And yes, Jae-Jae told me as well already.”

“W-What? You already know?” Jackson stammers and an emotional range from surprise to disappointment makes an appearance on his face.

“Like I just said, yes.”

“Pretty much, yep.”

“Anything else?”

“I can't believe it. And you let me talk all this time, like an idiot?! Also it was _my_ idea. _My_ plan! And both of them stole this from me. Wow, we really have to work on our communication skills in this relationship,” Jackson fusses.

“So how do we think about this constellation?” Jinyoung asks, addressing Mark. Jaebum called Jinyoung to tell him about the latest development. It wasn't a very long talk. Jinyoung still has a lot of questions and wants to ask his best friend in person about everything. But now is the first time he meets Mark since both their best friends told them about their unusual new relationship.

“I don't know what _you_ think, but I think that as long as this relationship feels wholesome and is beneficial for every one of them, I'm pretty happy for the guys.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Jinyoung agrees, nodding.

“I'm still in the room. I can hear you talking, you know?” Jackson mutters.

“That's good, because a word of warning for you, if you hurt Jae-Jae, you're dead,” Mark threatens.

“If you hurt Jaebum, you're dead too,” Jinyoung adds more casual.

“Why are you assuming that I would hurt anyone? What if _they_ hurt _me_?”

“Unlikely.”

“_Very_ unlikely.”

“And I thought you were _my_ friends as well,” Jackson whines, portraying exaggerated sorrow.

“You are,” Mark agrees, “but not our _best_ friend.”

Jackson grabs a random piece of paper and angrily starts to scribble something down.

“What are you doing?” Jinyoung questions.

“Writing a to-do list. Number one: get a best friend who can whoop both your high-horsed asses. And you, Mark Tuan, aren't in any position to threaten me after you punched me, _wrongfully_ how I want to point out.”

“My best friend came to me and cried and said it was your fault. It felt pretty justified at that time. Also I said sorry after Sugartoast told me about your brave plan.”

“Yeah yeah,” Jackson murmurs and pouts.

“Also, Jackson Wang, before you claim one more time that I am freaky in bed, I want you to take a minute and look at your own love life.”

“What do you mean?”

“A polyamorous relationship is most probably a lot freakier than everything I have ever done.”

“I don't know about that. What do you think, Jinyoung? You should know.”

“Uuuhm-”

“You won't interview him regarding that subject,” Mark decides.

“Well, whatever.” Jackson clears his throat before he continues. “Sooo, now that we sorted out _my_ mess, it's time to speak about yours.” He glances from Mark to Jinyoung and back.

“Ours? We don't have a mess,” Mark says in bewilderment.

“Just because _you_ see it that way, it doesn't mean it's the same for everyone involved, Mark.”

Jinyoung now looks back and forth between them, utterly confused. But for sure he notices how Mark is tensing up more by the second.

“What do you mean?” Mark asks quietly.

“There is still something you need to tell Jinyoung, right? We talked about this.”

“This is not the right time, Jackson!”

“You say that for a while now. We talked about it ages ago and you promised you would tell him,” Jackson insists. “But there hasn't been any talk yet. What are you even waiting for?”

“Not yet. And stay out of it,” Mark warns sternly. “This is not your issue to get yourself involved in.”

“Jinyoung is my issue. And if I think that he could be negatively affected by something you're keeping from him, I think it's my place to step in, _eventually_. You had all the time in the world.”

“No. No, stay out of it,” Mark growls at Jackson and it's really a bit scary in Jinyoung's opinion.

“Can anybody please tell me what the heck is going on here? I'm really confused. _And_ worried,” Jinyoung finally butts in.

“It's nothing. Jackson exaggerates,” Mark assures. He doesn't look at Jinyoung. Instead he keeps his narrowed eyes fixed on Jackson, like a noiseless warning.

“Oh really? If I exaggerate so much, why is it so difficult to tell him about your ex-boyfriend and the way he ended the relationship?”

“Shut the fuck up!” Mark hisses and jumps to his feet to plant himself in front of Jackson. “Not another word!”

“I don't feel any joy talking about it, Mark. You can believe me. I am still your friend but Jinyoung deserves to know about Junha and the way he broke your heart and let you suffer-”

“SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Mark yells directly into his face. Jinyoung winces at the sudden outburst. He wonders how Jackson manages to stay calm while Mark seems to be losing it right now.

Jinyoung was aware for quite some time that Mark is evasive when it comes to the mystery that surrounds his recent past. He clearly doesn't want to talk about it and Jinyoung always wondered what happened. Just like Jackson, he also thinks he deserves to know. At least he has a vague idea and a name now. Junha. But what made this separation so painful is still a mystery to Jinyoung. But clear as daylight is that just grazing the subject infuriates Mark. His tone is harsh, his words sharp, his eyes glaring. His body is tense. It seems as if the predator in him is debating if either attacking or retreating is the more suitable solution for this situation. But Jackson looks up at him and holds his gaze, seemingly unbothered. If Jinyoung would have to describe his eyes, he would say that they look with compassion at Mark.

In the end the predator decides to retreat. Without sparing Jinyoung a glance, Mark storms out of the room and slams the door shut.

“Well, that went better than I expected,” Jackson says as he stares at the door.

“How..... how can you say that?”

“Worst case, he would have punched me again. And that didn't happen. I consider it a win.”

Jinyoung stares at Jackson's tiny smile in disbelief. Sometimes he is truly envious of his friend and his lighthearted way of living.

“Aren't you afraid that he's furious with you when you tell me his story? Because, don't understand me wrong, I really want to know, but he looked pretty furious already,” Jinyoung points out.

“Don't worry. We know each other since forever and went through some rough patches through the years. There were highs and lows and various changes. We made it through everything. And we will get over this as well. Especially since I'm in a relationship with his bestie now. So Mark can't hate me forever.” He shrugs while his tiny smile turns into a lopsided grin.

“If you say so.....”

“Yes! I've been dying to finally tell you the truth. I couldn't watch this for much longer.”

“So the big secret is that Mark went through a bad breakup? That's it? That's what all the mystery is about? I mean, don't get me wrong, it sucks to get your heart broken but everyone went through it at least once already, right?”

“Jinyoung,” Jackson sighs. “It wasn't_ a normal_ breakup. It was really nasty. Mark and Junha, they had a great relationship. They were so sweet with each other. Just a real good couple. Everyone thought that they would make it together. Honestly, I really liked Junha at first. He was fun to hang out with. But some day out of the blue, he questioned his life and life choices, as if he would experience some kind of early midlife crisis or some shit. And so he told Mark that he wasn't sure anymore if this relationship is still the right thing for him.”

“J-Just like that?”

“Yeah, he said he wasn't sure about his feelings for Mark anymore and that he will see what time will bring. And obviously that fucked Mark up and put him under so much pressure. From that day on, Mark fought every day to keep that relationship going. He tried so hard to convince Junha that it was still worth it. But he fought all alone while Junha always was like 'meh, I still don't know'. It felt like Mark was a monkey in some damn circus. He tried to perform well, to show him that he's the damn best boyfriend out there. This went on for months and you could see how day by day it drained more energy from Mark. He was constantly on edge and anxious. It was heartbreaking to watch him. At this point everyone of us, Mark's friends, would have loved to just beat that prick up and tell him to scram. But Mark was so in love and so desperate that he wouldn't let anyone interfere. And then someday, Junha was suddenly gone, without a word. He just left him like that. And soon after, Mark vanished too. At first we thought he went on some kind of healing trip to let the distance and time mend his broken heart. But we somehow found out that he just stayed inside his apartment. He didn't leave it anymore. Like not at all. For months. It was... alarming to say the least. We tried to reach out but it was difficult. We found out that Youngjae was the only one who was 'allowed' to go see him.”

The smile is gone completely. Jinyoung can see that Jackson is also hurt when he thinks back to this ill-fated situation. Teary-eyed he sits on Alex's bed and just dwells on his thoughts.

“That's.... I don't know what to say. But it sounds awful,” Jinyoung says quietly.

“It really was. And that's the reason why he needed so much time to get back on track. Anyway,” Jackson continues to recount.”And what happens next? Finally he goes out again, tries to interact with people to get a bit of normality back into his life, and BOOM, he's meeting Park Jinyoung and starts a porn-like fuck tale with him.”

“Wait, that was right after he got over his ex?”

“Oh yes, it was. I swear, the timing couldn't have been worse. And okay, when I introduced you I didn't think much of it. I was just happy that he was feeling good enough to face society again. I didn't expect you, _of all people_, to run off and have a one-night stand with him. But after you told me, I was immediately worried. I was just so afraid that you would fall for him, while for him, you would be nothing more than a rebound. Like testing the waters after being out of the dating game for a long time. I didn't want that to happen. I didn't want to see you get hurt. So I thought if I tell you he's the typical fuckboy, you would be disgusted and naturally stay away. But no, you have to be Mr. Unpredictable all of the sudden and go for the weird fuckboy. Honestly, you made it so hard for me. I tried to keep you away from him but as you know best, it was impossible. It's a fucked up situation. I know Mark suffered and it breaks my heart. If he feels good being together with you, it is awesome. But I really don't know what this thing between you two is for him. I still don't have the slightest idea if he's serious about you. And that also breaks my heart. Either way, it's just fucked up.”

Jinyoung swallows thickly. “That's a lot to take in.”

“I know. I'm sorry.”

“You didn't do anything, Jackson. But..... do you think he's still not over his ex? Is that why he refused to talk about it? You think he really could see me as nothing more than a rebound?”

“I don't know. I really don't know. I can't read him.” And this time all the compassion in Jackson's eyes is directed at Jinyoung.

“Same,” Jinyoung sighs.

“But its true that you spent a lot of time together. I mean it wasn't only sex, right? You have been hanging out and you talked a lot, right?” Jackson obviously tries to bring some positivity back into the situation. “You grew closer over time. So can't you by now not tell at all if he might have romantic feelings for you?”

“I swear, he's still as confusing for me as he was on day one. It's true that we're pretty close by now, but I don't know if it's enough.”

“But Youngjae said that these days you spend more time with Mark than he does. And that's quite something. I say you're in the best position to steal his heart. You just have to create more opportunities. I don't know, you could cook his favorite dish for him, for example. That would be cute. Or you could schedule study dates together with him. You both could prepare for your courses and still be domestic and sweet together. Something like that.”

“He studies?”

“Excuse me?”

“I don't know that he studies.”

“You.... _what_?” Jackson blurts out. Jinyoung never saw his friend so confused before.

“It's not like he would talk much about himself willingly,” Jinyoung murmurs.

“Don't you have a mouth to ask, Park Jinyoung? But.... when you don't even know this bit about him, what exactly _do_ you know?”

And as he combs through his mind to search for an answer it slowly dawns on Jinyoung. “Oh no..... after all this time, the only things I know about him are his name, his sexual kinks and that he has a dead Italian dog.” The realization is sickening. A dizziness seizes him as he tries to comprehend the extent of his failure.

Jackson heaves a deep sigh and rubs his palms over his face before he starts to speak again. “In this relationship, I was worried about _you_ until now, but maybe it’s time to worry more about _him.”_

“What do you mean?”

“It seems like he knows basically everything about you?”

Jinyoung slowly nods. “He knows all about my courses, my professors, damn he even knows when I have to get up every day to be on time. He knows some childhood stories and that I'm an only child. He knows my favorite dishes and okay, wait, it wouldn't take as long to list the things he doesn't know about me.”

“What did you think he would do all day?”

“Uhm.... his apartment is so big. I kind of had the vague idea that he wouldn't do anything and.... you know, is just rich.”

“But it never occurred to you to ask him?”

Jinyoung stays quiet as he avoids Jackson's gaze.

“He studies classical music,” Jackson enlightens him. A deep, reproachful sigh follows.

“Ooooohhh.... the piano suddenly makes sense,” Jinyoung points out.

“Right, genius?! Damn, you really should work on your perceptiveness.”

“Mark said that as well,” he meekly admits.

“He's right about that. So he studies music and he plays the piano and he's truly good, Jinyoung. He's amazing, actually. He wins prizes in international piano competitions. He also composes his own pieces which brought him prizes in that area as well. He's the real thing.”

“Fuck.... I had really not the slightest idea.”

“I can't believe that it never occurred to you that it could be interesting to know what he does all day long. He's the guy you love, after all.”

“To my defense, his aura is just so enticing, he always distracts me from everything else. When I'm with him, nothing is important. We only live in the moment.”

“Stop this romantic bullshit. You just really aren't perceptive,” Jackson scolds. But it is not a cheap excuse. Whenever he is with Mark, Jinyoung only ever looks at him. Nothing else is important. “Seriously, Park Jinyoung, congrats on making the guy you love feel like you don't have the slightest interest in his life.”

“B-But... I didn't do any of this on purpose,” he says, desperate to make his point clear.

“_You_, of all people, should know how important it is to get attention from other people around you. And if Mark feels like you don't give a fuck about him, except for his body, I wouldn't be surprised.”

“Oh no.... oh fuck.” The entirety of the disaster sinks in. Jackson is right. Jackson Wang is right and Park Jinyoung is completely 100% wrong. He doesn't know anything about Mark and it never even occurred to him to get more information about him, unless it was about this one certain mystery which always was the big elephant in the room. This is terrible. “Oh my god! I'm the worst human alive!” he screeches and puts his hands on top of his head just to make sure it doesn't fall off from all the overwhelming content.

“Now now, I wouldn't go that far,” Jackson now tries to calm him down after he realized that Jinyoung perceived the severeness of the situation. “There are even several leaders of different countries who are far worse than you. So don't be too hard on yourself. Though maybe this would be a good time to fix this. Ask Mark about Junha and ask him about his life. Show him that you're there for him even when times get rough. And then take some care of him. Lord knows he needs it.”

Jinyoung is convinced that he fucked up as a human and lost every right to even breathe near Mark.

“So let me get this straight.” Jinyoung tries to be calm but his voice already quivers. “So what you're saying is that he experienced the ultimate heartbreak, even suffered a trauma, and now he's hooking up with me, who he thinks only wants his dick and doesn't care about him as a person?”

“About the last part, I'm really not sure. We didn't talk about that, to be honest. But from what you've told me just now I would say it's.... kind of possible?”

“Oh no no no no no why am I such a fuck up? _Why_? Why wasn't I aware? Oh god, he's right, I'm the king of unawareness. He even gave me hints but still, I didn't question anything. I.... I'm just too much.”

“But you should really try to stay calm-”

“I have to go!”

And with this Jinyoung jumps to his feet and bolts out of the room. He needs to see Mark, and he needs it to happen now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So do we all enjoy how Mark and Jinyoung basically don't do anything else except running back and forth between their residences to apologize to each other? lmao


	9. Nine

This time Jinyoung doesn't even go through the trouble of using the doorbell. Instead he immediately starts to bang on Mark's apartment door. He can't waste any more time, not when he instead can use the time to appreciate Mark like he deserves it.

“MARK! MARK! MARK! MARK! MARK! MARK! MARK! MARK-”

“What the heck is wrong with you?” Mark grumbles as soon as he opens the door.

But he doesn't have much time to wonder about it because in a heartbeat Jinyoung pounces on him. The latter tightly wraps his arms around the blond and buries his face in his shoulder. The force of the impact causes them to stumble backwards until Mark's back bumps against the hallway wall.

“I thought you wouldn't open the door,” Jinyoung murmurs into the fabric of his t-shirt.

“Maybe I still would have if you used the doorbell, because doorbells are an actual thing, Sugartoast.”

“You opened anyway, so whatever. We need to talk.”

“Do we really-”

“I'm so sorry. I don't know anything about you and I never asked things about you because I'm an unperceptive, ignorant idiot. It's not that I am not interested in your life, it's just that I am very dumb and was a bit intimidated after you didn't want to tell me about this big mystery, which kept you away from society. I am so sorry,” Jinyoung babbles into his shoulder and tightens his arms around him.

For a long moment Mark doesn't say anything nor does he move.

“I expected something completely different,” he says at last in a quiet voice, as if talking to himself. “I expected you wanted to talk about....”

“Junha!” Mark winces a little in his embrace and a small pang of regret disturbs Jinyoung's heart. “Yes, that too. But before, I want to apologize and ask you a few questions if this is okay.”

“Questions? Like what-”

“What's your favorite color? When is your birthday? What's your favorite animal? Oh my god, blond isn't your real hair color! If you were a vegetable, what would you be and why? Who's your dentist? Damn, you're studying classical music and win competitions and it's so fucking impressive and I never had a clue. Which were your most liked and disliked subjects at school? Do you have siblings? What's your current favorite song? What do you think about the environmental situation in-”

“Okay, stop!” Mark says firmly. And just as Jinyoung contemplates if he's mad now, Mark's strong arms are wrapping around him and a familiar palm pats his back. “I'm glad you finally noticed, Sugartoast, but don't overdo it right away, okay?” he murmurs, his voice much softer now.

Jinyoung pulls his head away from his shoulder to look at him, but keeps his arms locked tightly around him. “I didn't do it on purpose. I swear I didn't notice a thing and yes, you're right, my perception skills aren't the best.”

Mark looks at him with a tiny smile on his lips. “To be honest, in the beginning it didn't matter to me much, but as time passed by it kind of irked me that you never cared to get to know anything about me, apart from 'the big thing', which is my broken relationship.”

“But.... you never said anything. You never talk about yourself willingly.”

“You never seemed that interested, to be honest. What was I supposed to do? Rub your forehead against the piano and say 'Here Sugartoast, this is my piano and yes you're right, it's a bit unusual to own a piano. That's because I study classical music.'? Sorry, but that's just not my style.”

“From now on I'll be extra perceptive and I will ask you anything that comes to my mind. It will be super awesome. Hey, is this potted plant over there new?”

“Actually it sounds super annoying, Sugartoast,” he says and pulls a face.

“That's unfair. How should I learn about things if I'm not allowed to ask?”

“You're allowed to ask. But don't overdo it. I won't recount the life story of every potted plant and every cereal bowl in this apartment.”

“Okay.... okay, so no talk about potted plants. Got it. It's just a bit hard to understand for me. Wherever you look, people talk about themselves all of the time. And here are you, never talking about yourself. Why is this?”

Mark looks at the ceiling for a moment while he contemplates his answer. Jinyoung tries not to let the butterflies in his stomach get the better of him when he realizes that they are still hugging each other. Their faces are so close that the intimacy between them is threatening to overwhelm him. “I always think that when I talk about myself people would be bored. I’m not the type to overshare.”

He's aware that Mark isn’t a big talker. If he’s not busy trying to convince Jinyoung to do questionable things in bed, he barely wastes many words. Quite the opposite of Jinyoung. On the other hand, Jinyoung thinks that he himself talks enough for at least two people. But to think that Mark thinks about himself as boring is rather shocking for Jinyoung.

“_Overshare_?” Jinyoung squeaks. “Like I do? I talk about 90% of the time. And you say, you’re bored? I didn’t want to bore you. I just…. That’s just what I do but…”

“I never said I would be bored by you. I enjoy your rambling. It’s cute.”

“Cute?” Jinyoung squeaks again. “Mark, I literally babble about everything. When I see a cat on my way to you I tell you 'Hey Mark, I just saw a cat. It was really cute blah blah blah', and you would say 'Oh really? How did its fur look?'. Because you’re always interested in the most insignificant things but you actually think I wouldn’t even want to know about your major? And still you call me cute. That's not cute. That's...ugh.... for a change I don't have any words.”

“I just like to listen to you. And you enjoy talking and that's great-”

“People seem to find that rather annoying at times.”

“Well, I don't. I think it's especially charming. And you love to talk, I do not so much. It's a good fit. Don't you see this?”

“Thank you- WAIT! We're talking about _me again_. What is wrong with you Mark Tuan?” Jinyoung scolds. “We're talking about _you_ now! No distractions anymore!”

“Fine, fine,” Mark relents. “But maybe we could sit down and I really should close the door.” He points at the still open apartment door which he never had the chance to close since Jinyoung attacked him immediately.

“Okay,” Jinyoung agrees a bit hesitantly. “But no distractions!”

Once again they plop down on Mark's comfortable couch. Jinyoung looks expectantly at Mark, ready for what there is about to come. He's ready to learn, eager even. He wants to hear everything and he wants Mark to know it.

“Uhm... it's actually awkward if you look at me like that without saying anything,” Mark stammers.

“I just want you to talk, okay? No pressure or anything.”

“How to start?”

“Why is your apartment so huge?”

“I wouldn't call it huge but I agree that it's above average,” Mark starts out quietly. “My parents are not rich or anything. More like upper middle class. But they support my career choice fully and even were adamant about me living in a place where is enough space for my own piano. They wanted me to always have access to it whenever I need to practice or inspiration would strike. Also the apartment needed to have excellent acoustics. They also demanded that the place would be located in a safe neighborhood, since they tend to worry a lot about me. So yeah, here everything comes together. My parents used to pay for this place but since I'm winning a few competitions here and there, I can partly pay for it as well.”

“I understand. Good. That was going good, right?”

“I'm not a kid, Sugartoast. I can talk if I have to.”

“I'm just saying how good you're doing. Nothing else. So when did you start playing the piano?”

“I started when I was four years old.”

“That's early, isn't it?”

“Maybe,” he says casually and shrugs. “My aunt and uncle forced my older cousin to take piano lessens and he hated it. I watched him practice a couple of times. Everything he played at the expense of great effort, I picked up in a heartbeat and could play without any lessons. That was when my family noticed that I might possess a natural talent.”

“That's so impressive. I think I never met someone with such a natural talent before.”

“Now now, it's not that special.”

“That's for me to decide and I officially decide that it's very fucking special.”

“Alright, if you say so,” Mark chuckles. “Anything else?”

“Well yes, actually a thousand other things..... but first....”

“Yeah?”

“You won't kick me out, right?”

“Why would I kick you out?”

“Because I want to talk with you about things which you don't want to talk about and you'll hate my annoying ass for it.”

“Sugartoast, of all the things in the world I would hate your ass at the very least,” he quips.

“Maaaark! Be serious please!”

“Alright. And I promise I won't kick you out anymore. This shouldn't become a habit.”

“Good. So you probably already assumed that Jackson told me about you and Junha. And he did. But still, I would love to hear it from you, the whole story. If it's okay, I mean.”

Mark's fingers run through his shimmery blond strands before he speaks. “Actually, now that the cat is out of the bag, it might be not that bad to tell you about everything. Maybe Jackson is right. Maybe it's about time.”

“Okay, I'm glad.”

“Wait, just let me get the vodka first.”

“It's 2 pm.”

“Not that I want us to become alcoholics. But sometimes it's okay to drink even when it's not socially accepted drinking time.”

“Alright, today we don't judge,” Jinyoung grants.

After Mark prepared their drinks he heaves a deep sigh and then starts to recount. “Junha and I,....... we were a good couple. We clicked. We were endearing together. People would see us and say 'oh what a sweet couple'. I was so damn sure about us. I thought this is it, the love of my life. The real deal. I was happy, so damn happy.”

Mark pauses to collect his thoughts. Slowly he rubs his palms over his face before he continues.

“We lived together in this very apartment. One evening, which I so far thought was a rather normal and domestic one, he sat down next to me and told me that he thinks he doesn't love me anymore. Just like that. He said the spark was gone. He said he really tries to hold onto his feelings for me, but he doesn't know how to. His love for me.... gone, just like that. _Gone_. But my love for him was still there. I didn't see it coming at all so I was flustered and shocked and I panicked. I didn't understand what happened. I don't truly understand it until now, to be honest. I just don't understand how such strong feelings can just... evaporate, without me noticing at that. Crazy.”

He slowly shakes his head as he wades through his memories. Jinyoung can see that it's hard for Mark to speak about it and go through everything once again. The lingering pain makes him grimace from time to time. Jinyoung is sorry that he has to do this but he really thinks it's for the better. He needs to know everything in order to learn to understand Mark better.

“What happened then?” he quietly asks.

“I told him that I still loved him so, so much. I cried. I was devastated. But I was still in love. He said that he isn't all too sure about his feelings at that time. He said maybe there still would be a chance for our relationship. That was my spark of hope. I saw it as the last chance and I was determined to use it. So we stayed together for a while, trying to fix our relationship. Though I should have known then already that it was useless. When feelings are gone it's almost impossible to bring them back. But I didn't even want to think about that case at that time. I just clung to this futile hope. I put so much effort into maintaining this relationship. I tried to be a better boyfriend, to care more, to feel more, to invest more just to make it work again. But then the worst thing happened. While I put in 200% effort, I witnessed how my boyfriend fell in love with someone else. And that shit hurt even more.”

“What?” Jinyoung screeches.

Mark smiles at him, a forced, pained smile while tears start welling up in his eyes.

“Unbelievable, huh? Yeah, I didn't want to believe it either. I tried to ignore the signs. Big surprise: ignorance didn't help either. This guy, Junha didn't tell me about him. It must have been someone he met without me even knowing. He suddenly was gone a lot. I waited for him every evening and he never told me where he went. His phone was buzzing unusually often. He never told me who was texting him.”

Now the tears are falling. Thick drops are running down Mark's cheeks and Jinyoung wants to scream and cry and wants to destroy the whole world because what kind of world was this where such a blatant injustice was allowed to happen?!

“It felt like being trapped in the engine room of a sinking ship,” Mark continues with his quivering voice. “You're watching the water rise and know how it will end, but you can't do a single thing about it. You watch and wait until you suffocate, and water floods your lungs and slowly kills you. I felt exactly like that. I witnessed every stage of Junha's new love story, while still being his boyfriend. He tried to keep it a secret in the phase of getting to know each other. But I saw him smiling at his phone way too many times. He stayed out late more and more often, sometimes not coming home at all. In the end, every time I looked at him it felt like a kick in the guts and thousand pinpricks on my heart. I was drowning, I had no air left. I was absolutely helpless.”

And that's when Jinyoung starts to sob like a little kid. There's no way he can stop his tears.

“Hey, don't cry. It's okay,” Mark tries to calm him down. But Jinyoung is inconsolable. His tears are running down his face, his voice is buried under an avalanche of sobs and his shoulders are trembling.

”No!” Jinyoung eventually gasps out. “It's so sad. You were so hurt. What about this is okay? Nobody should endure this much pain.”

“But it happens..... apparently. Come here, Sugartoast.” Mark wraps his arm around him and pulls him into his chest. Jinyoung is aware that this is ridiculous. He shouldn't be the one who receives comfort. He should console Mark. But he just can't right now.

Mark let's him cry for a few minutes. It doesn't slip Jinyoung's attention that Mark's tears also keep falling, he's just making less of a fuss about it. He cries silently and somehow dignified, Jinyoung thinks. While he himself always cries like a messy, pitiful wreck.

“He still didn't talk to me about our future. It had been two months by then. He kept me on hold. He kept pondering over staying with me or getting serious with his new guy, and every day I hoped and pleaded that he wouldn't leave me. I was on edge every second. I couldn't properly sleep anymore. I just hoped he would rediscover his love for me. It was exhausting, mentally and physically. Until one day...... one day I woke up in the morning and he was gone. I was alone. His most important things were gone as well. He left while I.... was asleep. Just like that. I couldn't even say anything to him. He didn't bother to give me a chance to stop him or say goodbye. And that was when everything went dark.”

Jinyoung thinks he never cried so hard before. He can't even speak anymore. It's just too unfair. For only one person to endure all of this alone, it seems impossible. And suddenly it makes sense. It makes sense that Mark is awake every damn morning before him. In the end he just wants to make sure that nobody walks out on him without a word anymore. And this is heartbreaking.

“He left me a note though. It said 'I tried so hard but I can't do it anymore. Sorry.' He wrote that. Can you believe it? _He _tried so hard! _He_! He tried so hard to be with me, like our relationship was a fucking torture for him. He was gone. Not a single time he contacted me. And I just waited for him like an idiot. I still hoped he would come back. I didn't leave the apartment because I was afraid I might miss his return. I waited and waited like a stupidly naive dog.”

Now this is a harsh contrast to the proud, independent wildcat Jinyoung came to know Mark as. The wildcat which fits so well. Jinyoung can't even imagine Mark being so helpless and completely at somebody else's mercy.

“He came back after four days..... to get the rest of his stuff. He didn't say a word. I just stared at him like some kind of zombie while he was packing his belongings. And then he left and I never heard of him ever again.”

“What the fuck is this shit?” Jinyoung whines. “This fucking prick! I probably shouldn't say this but.... I really want to hunt him down and set him on fire. Like really _really_ bad.”

“That's very nice of you, Sugartoast, and a bit crazy, but no need,” Mark snickers through his tears. “I don't say he doesn't deserve it, heaven knows he does. But it wouldn't make me feel better.”

“But some kind of universal revenge is enough of a reason, right?” Jinyoung asks sulkily and flashes a pout.

“Yeah, that's fine with me,” Mark chuckles. “You know, I like to believe that it wouldn’t have been so bad, if he cheated on me. Like, I would have had a reason to be absolutely pissed at him and leave him right away. But like this, I can’t even push the blame on him entirely. When he said that he doesn’t feel as strongly for me anymore as he used to do, I just started to blame myself. Because it has to be my fault, right? I did something wrong so his feelings faded away. It was my fault and I thought over and over again how I could have prevented it. But there never was an answer or a solution. There was just this big, black hole of regret in me. And it broke my heart for much too long.”

“I will burn him and everything that's dear to him!”

Mark's tiny chuckles are the only things that can prevent Jinyoung from crying even harder than he already does.

“You know, Sugartoast, this kind of pain, it's no comparison to physical pain at all. And that comes from someone who high-fived his own radius bone after a snowboard accident. It hurt like hell but the memory of it faded. Nowadays I still remember that it hurt but I can't particularly remember the kind of pain anymore. But this torturous, slow heartbreak, I still remember how it feels. It was there every second for the past few months until I felt better. It heals so slowly that you think it won't ever go away and you just have to live this miserable life from now on. You have to fight and hang on and simply hope, yes, you have to hope a lot. But eventually it gets better.”

For someone this quiet, it was a true torrent of words. Jinyoung wishes that one day Mark would have as many words for him as he has for his bastard ex.

And at the same time he hates himself for being so selfish. Mark suffered, maybe still does. And he's finally willing to confide in Jinyoung, finally sharing his past and his lowest low with him. And what does he think about? How he wants even more. He wants more of Mark. He wants to be the only thought in his mind, the most important existence in his life. But now is not the time to think about his own selfish ass. This is Mark's time and he deserves all the attention and care in the word.

“You know, don't get me wrong but I'm a bit stunned,” Jinyoung starts to murmur. "For somebody as upfront and decisive as you are, this reaction is pretty unusual and surprising. The way I got to know you, I would have expected you to make a clean cut and tell him that he can go fuck himself.”

“I see where you're coming from. But I was so in love. Feelings truly make fools out of people. And that I was, a fool. Also would it have been much kinder of Junha to just walk away of his own accord, instead of staying and appraising his various options right in front of me. He just should have left me after he realized that the damn spark was gone. But he kept me hanging on for nothing. He put me on hold for so long, let me cling to my remaining glimmer of hope. I guess that is why this whole thing fucked me up so bad. I was trapped in this situation which went completely against my nature. I'm not used to being helpless and dependent on other people's whims. But this time was.... it was different from everything else I ever experienced and I dreaded every single minute of it. It's ironic how my heart still could get so hurt by something I've seen coming for so long,” he snorts bitterly.

“It's a fucking crime, the shit this guy put you through. Honestly, you deserve so much better. Not such a selfish toad like him,” Jinyoung decides. He straightens up so that he can look at Mark properly and won't cry into his t-shirt anymore.

“Thanks, Sugartoast.” The tiny smile on Mark's face means the world to Jinyoung. And the way Mark reaches out to wipe the wetness from his cheeks makes his heart beat like crazy.

“Well, at least I learned that you are snowboarding. Look how super perceptive I am. Snowboarding is now added to the list of your talents.”

“You sure about it? I told you I smashed my arm then.”

“Okay, it is added to the list 'tried but failed'. Very well.”

“Great,” Mark snorts but also chuckles. “So Sugartoast, now you know about this lousy part of my life. We can tick this off.”

“Hmmm, actually.... I still have questions,” Jinyoung mumbles hesitatingly.

“Still? Uhm... okay, I guess?”

“What happened after Junha was gone?”

It's obvious that Mark wasn't expecting this question. The surprise and following dismay visible on his face speak volumes about his willingness to provide information about the events.

“I had a hard time processing. Not my brightest moments, really.”

“I know it's probably not my place to ask but..... could you tell me about that time in greater detail?” Mark swallows thickly. Jinyoung notices how his eyes nervously dart around the room as he thinks about what to do. “It's not because I'm a nosy bitch and it's not to judge you or anything. I just think it would help me to understand you better. And I really _would love_ to understand you better,” Jinyoung explains and gently squeezes Mark's knee as a sign of encouragement.

“Fine,” he eventually sighs. “Needless to say, I was very sad. People are sad after breakups. That's pretty common. They cry and wallow in self-pity and eat a lot of ice cream. I was like that as well. But of course I didn't eat ice cream because eeew. But usually people get a grip after one or two weeks of this mourning routine. They return to daily business, trying to create a new normal without the partner, they were used to have, by their side. However, it was very different in my case. Instead of slowly getting a grip, I just cared less and less about daily life. I took a break from college, even though music is what I love the most. I stopped seeing people. I stopped to go out completely. I stopped thinking, because thinking meant remembering and remembering hurt. So more or less I just tried to.... vegetate.”

“But what about grocery shopping and stuff?”

“I stopped,” Mark answers quietly and looks down to his lap. Now it is Jinyoung who swallows thickly as he feels a sense of foreboding.

“What about the people around you? They didn't just stand aside, witnessing you struggle, right?” he asks cautiously.

“I don't know if you ever experienced something like this but..... when you're really down, when you hit rock bottom, you just don't wake up three days later and feel okay again. You can't go back to normal that easily. The thing is, most people can't relate. They _expect_ you to go back to normal eventually. Even your friends. Sure they are there at first, listening, consoling, trying to cheer you up and trying to distract you. But if you still don't feel better after a few days...... they get tired, Jinyoung. They don't understand. Then they try a little more, because they are good friends and they care, but then you still don't feel better. And eventually they think all their efforts go to waste, which they don't, but they can't help thinking it because you _still simply don't_ feel better. You still can't pick yourself up and go back to normal. And then your friends start to mutter things like 'Don't be like that.', 'You can't be mopey forever.', 'Don't make such a fuss.' and stuff. And when they say things like that and you just stare at them in return, without saying that they are right and that you would try to get better, they eventually turn their backs on you and leave. They think that it's better to let you deal alone with it because it's difficult for them. People don't like feeling helpless. And I gave them this feeling of helplessness. Of course I am sorry about it but back then I couldn't care less. I wasn't in any condition to consider other people's feelings.”

“No....,” Jinyoung whispers, fresh tears brimming in his eyes. “This can't be true.”

“They give you a pat on the back and tell you everything's gonna be alright. But after they did this for the third time and you're still not alright again, they start to feel uneasy with you. Don't get me wrong. I don't blame them. I didn't make it easy for anybody. I didn't put any effort into acting like I'm better. So they saw the ugly truth and that scared them. I really don't blame them for distancing themselves. It would have scared me as well to see a friend in this state,” Mark explains matter-of-factly.

Jinyoung can't believe this. Mark suffered so much and everyone just left him alone with his misery. That's not fair. He didn't deserve this. A sob of despair makes it through Jinyoung's clenched teeth.

“Hey, it's okay. It's fine,” Mark says, his voice so soft it's almost melting. His hand finds Jinyoung's back and he starts to rub soothing circles across it.

“E-Even Jackson?”

“Don't look disappointed like that, Sugartoast. Please don't. Jackson is a good boy. You and I, we both know that he cares a lot. He tried. He really did. But I wasn't very appreciative back then. I don't blame him for giving up eventually.”

“But Youngjae didn't,” Jinyoung argues.

“No, but people tick differently, and while I am so very thankful that I have Jae-Jae in my life, I don't resent Jackson. I understand it completely.”

“But-”

“No, I am not mad or disappointed with him or any other of my friends, so you shouldn't be either. You see, Jackson later told me that he couldn't watch me like this anymore. He felt helpless and it hurt him.”

“So he just abandoned you?” Jinyoung blurts out. He lets out a sound between a huff and a sob.

“Jinyoung,” he sighs. “People handle situations differently. You can't blame them that they don't want to get hurt over another person again and again.”

“But still, what if Youngjae would have left you just like everybody else? What would have happened to you?” Jinyoung whines.

“Rather than thinking about this, I'm just incredibly grateful that he was there for me. As I was saying, I don't blame anybody for stopping to check in with me. I was a jerk and not very approachable. Only Jae-Jae didn't care. He was persistent enough to endure my terrible moods. So no matter if you like him or not, you should know that he's the bravest person alive. He walked in here, day after day, with his bright smile and his loud voice and announced 'wow you look terrible today again' and then he......,” Mark stops speaking abruptly and looks like he's debating something inwardly.

Jinyoung doesn't want him to stop. He doesn't want him to hold things back anymore. “Mark, if I'd ask you what's on your mind right now, would you give me an honest answer?”

“I'm considering..... if I can tell you the nasty details or....”

“Or what?”

“Or if it would weird you out even more.”

“I'm not weirded out at all. Please. Please tell me everything that weighs you down. It might help to talk about it,” Jinyoung pleads.

“Fine,” Mark sighs and braces himself for his next revelation. “So Jae-Jae walked in here and pulled open all the curtains and opened the windows. He spoke to me all of the time, treated me as if nothing was wrong, even though I rarely answered. He prepared a bowl of cereal or other food and then he sat beside me and watched me for two hours until I had forced down the meal. Neither of us did talk about it but we both know that I wouldn't have eaten, if it weren't for him. Because I couldn't do anything on my own. I had no motivation. I was just..... so empty. Jae-Jae picked me up every single time. He came by whenever his own schedule allowed it, just to make sure that I wouldn't lose touch with reality. He brought the groceries. He cleaned the apartment. He made sure that I wore clean clothes. He did that every day, for weeks, Jinyoung. For weeks and weeks and weeks until I slowly started to recover and could take care of myself again.”

So Youngjae actually saved Mark and basically carried him through this rough phase of his life. Of course Mark would fight tooth and nail for him. Now Jinyoung understands. He understands this strong bond between them and the deep desire to protect each other from everything that potentially could harm the other. Yes, it's another thing that suddenly makes sense.

Jinyoung understands that Mark barely made it through this dark time in his life. It's probably something only very few people can relate to. To get your heart not only broken but shattered, not all of a sudden but over the course of months, to cling to a sliver of hope when everyone tells you that it doesn't make sense anymore, and then to end up losing what you have fought for the whole time. No, Jinyoung truly can't even begin to imagine how long and deep that must hurt.

“I see. Thank you for telling me,” Jinyoung whispers. “But what about your family? Didn’t they take care of you? They were worried as well, right?”

“I didn’t exactly tell them much about the breakup and the following months, except that I would take a break from college. I told them I needed time to get my creative juices flowing. And since they are living far away in the US, they didn’t notice a lot of things about..... my condition. I pretended as best as I could. I didn't want them to worry so I gathered all the energy I had left for these phone calls with them. In the end they just thought I was in a bad mood because of a creative slump.”

“Your family lives in the US?” Jinyoung asks stunned.

“Yeah.”

“You’re from the US?”

“Kind of, yeah.”

“You never mentioned it,” Jinyoung blurts out, still bewildered by the new information about Mark.

“You never asked where I'm from so I didn't know, if you're interested,” Mark says and shrugs.

“I was very interested, but I guess I didn't make it clear enough. Wow, I learned so many things about you today.”

“Yeah, and most of them are weird and off-putting,” Mark huffs.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that, _god_, I'm such a fucking loser, whining in front of you about my ex and can't shut up about it. I'm surprised you're not already out of the door. You really don't have to stay, if you don't want to.”

“Yeah, truly such a loser,” Jinyoung murmurs while he pulls Mark to his chest. “Honestly, I'm so disgusted with you and your pathetic self.” He kisses the top of Mark's head repeatedly. “You're really the type of person I don't want have anything to do with,” he mumbles while he gently strokes Mark's back.

“I could be wrong but somehow your statements and your actions don't match up. I'm confused.”

“Then let me clear up the confusion.” Jinyoung let's go of Mark so that he can look into his pretty eyes. “Why is it bad to have feelings and show them in front of other people? Why would I ran away, now that you're finally honest and upfront with me? That just doesn't make any sense.”

A tiny smile slips onto Mark's lips. He actually looks a bit shy. “Okay,” he whispers.

After a few moments of silent contentment, Jinyoung asks, “Mark? One more question. Why didn't you tell me earlier?”

“The thing is, we met and you didn't know anything about me. And I actually liked that. I liked that I could let you know only the things I wanted you to know. And I really didn't want to ruin my image by recounting my buhuhu-my-ex-boyfriend-made-me-suffer-so-bad-that-even-my-friends-think-I-have-a-screw-loose story. And the closer we got, the more reluctant I was to tell you. I didn't want you to know that this embarrassing shit happened to me. I’m sick of being defined by this phase of my life. Enough people are judging me already for this. I didn't intend to add you to that list.”

Mark is embarrassed. Jinyoung gets it now. He didn't want to tell him for such a simple reason. His heart squeezes in his chest. Not only had Mark to get through such horrible experiences, now he even feels ashamed of things which he can't be blamed for.

“Embarrassing? Nothing about this is embarrassing. If anything, it's cruel.”

“But nobody needs so much time to get over a breakup. Nobody...... Only me.” Mark whispers the last part. And Jinyoung sees everything in his eyes, all the pain and the despair.

“People handle situations differently. You said it yourself. The circumstances, which this breakup happened under, definitely weren't so normal. Just because you were very hurt, it doesn't mean that you're weak or a joke. In fact you're an amazing person. And I don't think anyone of your friends I met so far thinks you have a screw loose. Not Jackson. Not Yugyeom. Not BamBam. They all were worried about you and simply relieved that you managed to pull yourself out of the darkness. Because this takes strength and willpower, and you did it. You didn't give up. You came back.”

“Thank you,” Mark mumbles after a few seconds of blatant staring. He was obviously baffled at first but now he's smiling again shyly. That's definitely a view to behold in Jinyoung's opinion. “Honestly, thank you for saying this. Even though you have no obligation to-”

“It's my honest opinion, not some kind of motivational speech. And I'm saying this because I want you to know that. You need to see _this_ part of the story. The part where you were strong enough to climb back up instead of looking only at the part where you fell down.”

Mark takes a deep breath and rakes his fingers through his hair. “I guess that's true. Nobody ever.... said this to me. Nobody ever made me see this.”

“Well now you know,” Jinyoung sasses with a playfully smile.

“Yeah, thanks, Sugartoast. I'm also very glad that I eventually got over it. Though I realized that those experiences killed my desire to have another relationship.”

Jinyoung feels his heart snap like a twig.

“W-What?”

“It was just too scary. When somebody else has so much power over you, it's just so scary.”

“But not everybody is like your ex. There are sane people in this world,” Jinyoung tries to reason with him.

“Maybe. But I think I'm better off alone. How do you learn to trust someone again? How do you let someone in without simply assuming that every new person you bring into your life has the potential to hurt you? It's difficult, so so difficult after Junha. I don't think I can ever do that again.”

That can't be true. It finally turned out that Mark wasn't a fuckboy. Also he isn't a convicted felon or suffers from an incurable illness. It could be so perfect, if not for this boy who thought it was alright to completely break Mark. He gave up on relationships just because of this stupid jerk. Jinyoung knows it's not right to hate him. He doesn't even know him and he should assume that Junha had his reasons to act like he did and blah blah blah but damn, Jinyoung hates him with a passion anyway.

So Mark doesn't want another relationship. That means he also doesn't want a relationship with Jinyoung. And that hurts. But this time, Jinyoung holds back his tears which threaten to spill. This time Jinyoung decides not to follow his first impulse. He can't run out of the apartment and start to cry, hoping that everything would solve itself, hoping that Mark would magically realize that Park Jinyoung, the crying mess, would be the perfect boyfriend-choice. He needs to fight. He needs to be persistent and patient. And Mark is worth every effort. He can be strong for him. Like Jackson said, Mark needs some care. He needs to learn how to trust again and Jinyoung wants to show him that he is worthy of his trust.

“I get that,” Jinyoung says quietly. “It's better to be alone than to be with someone who makes you believe that loving you is hard. But that doesn't mean that everybody is like Junha. Maybe in the future you can give chances again.” Mark looks at him with a serious expression on his face. When Jinyoung pauses for a moment, the blond gives him even a tiny nod, barely noticeable, but Jinyoung saw it. He considers this as a good sign. A tiny sign, signaling that it's the right choice to put his faith into Mark. “If you have been brutally broken but still have the courage to be gentle to others, then you deserve a love deeper than the ocean itself.”

“Is this poetry out of _your_ mouth, Sugartoast?” Mark asks in feigned astonishment.

“You inspire me to do incredible things, it seems,” Jinyoung answers playfully.

“That is beautiful though. Who said that?”

“I don't know, I read it somewhere on Twitter,” he feebly admits.

“It's a shame that you pay for college when you can learn the good stuff on Twitter.”

“I'm gonna tell my professors. I'm sure they will be delighted.”

Mark laughs at that and wipes away the wetness on his cheeks. “Aaaah, it feels really good not to cry anymore. We're crying on this couch too much, you know that?”

“I don't think the couch is to blame here, but I get what you mean. Still, I'm so glad you told me about it. I feel so much more enlightened now. And even if this sounds weird, I should probably be thankful that this terrible thing happened to you.”

“Because you like to see me cry?”

“No, idiot. Someone very smart once said to me that every scar you earn in life is part of everything what makes you the you of today. And I don't know the Mark from before. I only know today's Mark and that's a pretty good one, in my opinion.”

“Wooow, who said this to you? Twitter?”

“No, it was you, dumbass,” Jinyoung grumbles and scowls at him. “About my cheek scar.”

“I know,” Mark laughs and grabs Jinyoung's hand to rub it between his palms. “I was joking, I swear. Also I'm a bit surprised you remember that.”

“I might not be very perceptive but my memory is top notch.”

“I actually know that this head of yours doesn't only exist to carry your pretty face around. Don't worry.”

Jinyoung can't suppress his smile. It just comes on his face naturally after Mark basically called him smart and pretty in one sentence. But there is one more thing he has to take care of. “Hey...uhm... I hope you aren't too mad at Jackson.”

“I'm not mad at Jackson,” Mark says with a hint of surprise clear upon his features.

“You seemed very mad at Jackson earlier though.”

“Oh that, yeah, I was. But it was temporary. Not something to be salty about for a long time. Jackson and I, we work like that. We piss each other off just to pat the other's back the next day and everything is back to normal. Forgive and forget.” He underlines his statement with a shrug.

“You are pretty wondrous as well, when I think about it. A weird friendship dynamic you have there.”

“That's true. But as long as it works, everything is allowed, I guess.” Oh how Jinyoung longed to see this cheeky smile again. And here it is, only for him. “Hey Sugartoast, can I show you something?”

“Is it your dick?”

Mark breaks into a fit of high-pitched giggles before he answers. “No, for a change it isn't my dick.”

“Hmmm, okay. What is it?”

“Would you please accompany me to the piano?” Mark asks and unleashes a bonfire of charm, including this enticing smile and the hand which he's holding out for Jinyoung to take.

“Oh my god, will you play something? Can I finally witness you playing the piano without having to press my ear against the door like a fucking loser?”

“You did that?” Mark snickers.

“I sure did.”

“Then you're officially not a loser anymore.” Hand in hand they walk over to the white piano. Mark pulls up a chair for Jinyoung. The blond noiselessly takes a seat on the piano bench. “So Jackson already told you that I compose my own pieces?” Jinyoung nods excitedly. “I usually focus on the more classical side of music _but_..... to get over Junha I actually wrote a song, with lyrics and everything. If it's okay for you, I would like to play it now.”

“Okay,” he agrees immediately. At this point, whatever bit about himself Mark is offering, Jinyoung is eager to take it, even if it's including his jerk ex.

His fingers brush the keys already but abruptly Mark once again turns to Jinyoung. “Don't expect it to be any good, okay? It helped me a lot to cope with the situation. I believe that this was the last piece that helped me to set myself free again. So even if the process was painful, I won't regret writing it. Just so you know.... it was more of a healing method than it is something to entertain people with.”

Jinyoung nods again. To be honest, Jinyoung has only a very vague idea what to expect, but he's dying to find out more.

And then Mark sucks in a breath and his fingers press down the first keys. The tune he starts to play sounds rather gleeful and faster than Jinyoung expected. He naturally assumed that there was some tear-jerking balled about to come. But what is offered to him now sounds more like a happy folk song.

It's a true joy to see Mark's slender fingers fly across the keys. Jinyoung is immediately mesmerized by the elegance and graceful ease in his movements. It looks like a breeze, the way Mark plays. But he can imagine that it must be damn hard to make it seem so easy.

Jinyoung is already in a state of complete admiration, but then Mark starts to sing the lyrics. He always had a thing for Mark's raspy voice. Sometimes soft, sometimes rough, but he never heard it like this.

“I always asked myself what ate you up inside

You tried so hard not to show

You secretly but obviously tried to fight

but you never wanted me to know”

Finally the tear-jerking elements which Jinyoung expected from the beginning set in. Mark's voice is so heavy with sadness and emotion that it delivers the sorrowful lyrics excellently. The contrast of the lyrics and the upbeat music makes the song a melancholic masterpiece which pretends to comfort but instead stabs you in the back to slash your heart open.

“I haven't been enough for you

I realized it slowly

Thought about it through and through

it made me only feel more lonely”

“You acted like everything was okay

you gave me your silence as a token

you pretended until the day you walked away

and left me feeling hollow and broken”

This was already heartbreaking enough, but when Mark starts to sing the chorus Jinyoung loses the fight against his tears once again.

“I was alone at home and missed you always

my heart rived and cracked

I cried myself to sleep for days

and realized you never will come back”

“Amidst depression my thoughts gradually changed

your opinion of me did no longer matter

even though at first it felt strange

I came to know I deserve much better”

“Now I still dream pretty love songs

but I don't sing about you anymore

the memories of you are withering bonds

the scratches in my heart only a little sore”

“You and I, we weren't enough

now I'm alone but not lonely and on edge

the agony of being with you felt too rough

now I'm gonna find myself the perfect match”

Mark only plays a few more notes before he interrupts the song. “I stop here. I won't sing the chorus again because I'm afraid you will cry even more,” he gently says and smiles at Jinyoung guiltily.

“Good idea,” Jinyoung snivels into his sleeve.

“Hey Sugartoast,” Mark's soft voice draws him in. “Why are you crying?”

“Because this is so damn beautiful and at the same time so fucking sad that I can't help but cry my eyes out. I'm so happy that this song helped you, and it means you also helped yourself in the end, but I'm absolutely devastated by the fact that this prick caused you such misery that I want to scream my lungs out in desperate anger.” When Jinyoung wipes the next torrent of tears off his face he notices Mark's stare. He observes him with this fucked up unicorn expression on his face. “STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THIS!” it bursts out of him.

Immediately Mark snaps out of it and a soft smile makes it back on his lips. “Sorry. Come here.” He pulls Jinyoung up from his seat and next to him on the piano bench. Jinyoung lets it happen and is glad about the opportunity to cuddle himself against Mark's side. The blond curls an arm around him and Jinyoung rests his head on the familiar shoulder. “Sorry, I didn't want to make you cry again,” he almost whispers.

“That's funny. I thought this would feed your tears kink perfectly,” Jinyoung mumbles.

“Ugh... it doesn't work with these tears, Sugartoast. Sad tears don't strike the cord.”

The physical closeness and Mark's warmth help to calm Jinyoung down relatively quickly. Soon he doesn't have to press his voice through sorrowful sobs anymore. “Apart from the song being heartbreakingly sad, it's really _really _good. Do you plan to do anything with it?”

“Thank you, but no. Hell no. I wrote it and it helped me to cope. I hid it away. I shared it with you. And now it's time to forget about it forever.”

“Are you sure?” Jinyoung glances up at Mark to see him nod.

“Yeah, its job is done. Now it has to go to give way to happier things.”

“That sounds good. Can you do me a favor? Next time, will you play for me again? Maybe one of your favorite classical pieces?”

“Sure,” Mark agrees and beams with joy.

“Who is your favorite classical composer?”

“Antonín Dvořák,” Mark answers without even taking a second to think.

“Uhm... I expected something like Mozart or Beethoven to be honest.”

“It's okay if you don't know him,” he laughs. “Outside the classical music bubble he's not that popular, I assume. But he's actually not only a creator of piano pieces. He blessed the world with several orchestral works, chamber music pieces, symphonic poems, vocal works and operas. He was a genius. An impressive man.”

Mark's eyes take on this warm glow as he keeps talking. Jinyoung realizes that this is honestly Mark's passion. Never before did he see him so enthusiastic about anything. It's so beautiful that Jinyoung is on verge of shedding tears again. But he doesn't want to disturb Mark. It would be a shame to faze him in the middle of his rapture. For a few seconds Jinyoung mourns all the chances he missed just because he didn't came to know of this side of Mark earlier. But he's glad to be able to witness it now at last. What a crime it would have been if he never would have seen this excitement and fascination in him. He never would have known that witnessing Mark fanboying over some long deceased composer dude would make him this soft. But it happens.

“You really love this, wow,” Jinyoung breathes after Mark finished his elaborations.

“That surprises you so much, huh?” Mark teases.

“Well, not anymore after today. Hey, when you said that you took a break from college, was that so easily possible?”

“Well... uhm... usually no, it wouldn't be so easy.”

“Let me guess. Your professors consider you being a rising piano genius and they would do anything to keep Mozart jr. happy, even making special arrangements.”

“Uhm... maybe I wouldn't necessarily use the word 'genius'...uhm... but hat sounds about right,” Mark giggles shyly.

“Privileged brat,” he mocks.

“Just earlier you praised my natural talent and now I'm a privileged brat because of it? Change of mind much?”

“Having natural talent is also a privilege. One I never will experience.”

“You have natural talent in being cute.”

“Fuck you,” Jinyoung playfully grumbles and slaps Mark's chest.

“Well, that wasn't very cute, but I already know most of your cute sides so there's no use in trying to hide it now.”

“Great, I can use my natural talent for a career as some kind of mascot then.”

“No, that has nothing to do with your intellect, Sugartoast. You can be cute _and_ smart, and that's what you are. You will be some damn cute literature professor in the future.”

“I don't see it.”

“For now it's enough when _I_ see it. I will remind you so often about it that you don't have another choice but to believe it yourself.” Mark now also wraps his other arm around Jinyoung and rocks him back and forth, a bit too fast for it to be relaxing.

“Thanks for your motivational speech. I need to hear it again after I finished my education and actually have to apply as some cute literature anything.”

“I will keep it in mind.”

“Soooooo.... are we done talking about everything? It's a lot to process.” Jinyoung glances at Mark again and presses a tender kiss to his cheek.

“Yes, I think that's about it. Thank you for listening and still being here.” A radiant smile graces Mark's face. He leans in to peck the space between Jinyoung's brows before he says, “Do you want to see my dick now?”

“I actually thought about watching a movie for now,” Jinyoung snickers.

“Oh sure, we can do that. I have-”

“No. I have no idea what you want to suggest but no. After all this crying we don't watch one of your artsy tragic films.”

“Okay? And instead we are watching what?” Mark asks cautiously.

“It's time for smiles now, so we will watch Zootopia,” Jinyoung decides, full of excitement.

“Oh boy.”

“Suck it up, bitch. You gonna love it.” And with this Jinyoung stands up and also pulls a chuckling Mark to his feet. This will be a start of a new era in their relationship. Jinyoung is sure of it.

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

Jinyoung and Jaebum trudge through the corridors of his dormitory. They finally both made time to hang out with each other. Jinyoung missed this. There's so much to discuss again. The curiosity about Jaebum's new relationship didn't die away, even though Jinyoung already got used to the idea. Also Jaebum's everlasting encouragement and helpful hints which cause Jinyoung to have mini-revelations are valuable and needed in his life.

When they walk up to his room, Jinyoung immediately spots the small gift box on the floor right in front of the door.

“Was is this?” Jaebum asks and observes it curiously.

“Uhm... probably a present from Alex.” Jinyoung quickly picks it up and opens the door so they both can slip inside.

“He gives you presents? I thought it's an established fact that you're in love with Mark.”

“Yeah, he knows about it. Alex is just trying really hard to change my mind. Still,” he explains flatly.

“Is he a creep or something? I met him only briefly so far. He seemed rather normal but if his behavior becomes.... _worrisome_, then you have to tell me.”

“Nah, it's fine,” Jinyoung appeases. “You're right, he's rather normal. He's just unexpectedly much in love and isn't good at handling his feelings. The funny thing is that I myself suggested him to give little presents to express his intentions. But that was before I realized I was in love with Mark. So now it feels kind of inconvenient. I guess I need to have a good and plain talk with him about it soon.”

“If you say you can deal with this alone then fine. I'm just saying, speak to me, or to _us_ when something is up. I'm sure Jackson is also willing to step in.”

“Sure,” Jinyoung assure and opens the little box. “Mint chocolate...”

“You hate mint chocolate.”

“Yeah, but you don't. Have some.” Jinyoung throws the chocolate for Jaebum to catch. His friend makes himself comfortable on the vacant bed while Jinyoung takes a seat on his own.

“Don't fall asleep on me again.”

“Don't have sex in front of me again.”

“Touché!,” Jinyoung snickers. “So, Bum-Bummie, I can't believe you didn't tell me that you planned to venture into a polyamorous relationship. Anything to say in your defense?”

“We just wanted Youngjae to be on board with it first, before we actually tell somebody.”

“That's the next unbelievable thing. The guy from your romantic party encounter, you wanted to meet him again so badly and by some kind of miracle you actually did! And the first thing you asked him was 'Would you like to start a relationship with me..... and your occasional sex buddy Jackson?'. Just like that? How weird do you plan to get?” Jinyoung chuckles.

“If you put it like this it really sounds a bit weird.”

“Because it _is_ weird.”

“Whatever. It worked, right?”

“Yeah, at last you became a couple. Uhm, a throuple I mean. You never told me about the night you met Youngjae for the fist time though. You never told me that it was my fault that your romantic encounter ended abruptly.”

“It wasn't your fault. It was fine like this. You needed me that night and I didn't want you to feel guilty.”

“I probably would have understood if you've said you couldn't come by, you know? I'm not that much of a brat.”

“I know, but you're my best friend and I would always come running for you. And when you ask me to come and comfort you, that's what I do.”

“Don't make me cry, idiot!”

“Please, suit yourself,” Jaebum responds with a lopsided grin.

“You're really my best friend for a reason.” A soft smile paints his lips when he thinks about those years of friendship he already shared with Jaebum. What a blessing this guy is for Jinyoung's life. “Tell me about that night when you met Youngjae.”

“It was just a party a fellow student threw last year. I didn’t even want to go but everyone urged me to come, so I went. I thought it wouldn’t hurt to stay for an hour or two, show my face and then go back home.”

“I guess that plan didn’t work out.”

“No, it didn't,” Jaebum laughs. Jinyoung finds it adorable how his heart eyes sparkle at the memory. “I ended up being there for six hours and I would have stayed even longer-”

“If I hadn't ruined everything. Got it.”

“That’s not what I wanted to say, Jin-Jinnie,” he coos. “It all came together now. It’s good like it is now. I wouldn’t wanna miss Jackson in this relationship, you know? So everything is fine.”

“I'm so incredibly glad about that. I couldn't bear the thought that I might have ruined your happiness,” Jinyoung sighs with relief. “So you didn’t even kiss Youngjae that evening?”

“Oh no, we just talked. But from the first second it was clear that there was something. He smiled, I smiled, and boom, immediate attraction. Also it was such a good conversation, flirty but also with serious bits. With every little thing I learned about him, it became more obvious to me that we match so well. Honestly, it's still crazy that I met him again under these kind of circumstances. Life is such a wacky bastard, I swear.” Jaebum smiles so much that his eyes turn into beautiful crescents.

“I'm so happy that you're happy.”

“I know, Jin-Jinnie, I know.”

“So how is your relationship going? Are you getting along as three?”

“Yes! It's going damn great. The sex is a bit unusual, but awesome and adventurous. It's way better than everything else I experienced so far.”

“You're already sleeping with each other? Don't you have any patience?” Jinyoung asks in feigned bewilderment.

“Comes from the guy who's banging the sex demon from day one,” he scoffs.

“Touché again.”

“So what about _your_ happiness? How is it going with Mark?”

“Good, I guess. I mean yes, he said he doesn't want another relationship because his ex was a fucking jerk, but apart from this sucky fact it's going good.... I guess.”

“Cheer up, okay? You can work this out. When I saw you together the first time, you seemed so close already. You'll make him realize that you're the right one for him. I know it.”

“Thank you for your positivity. I really need it. I'm so in love with him. Even though we're so different, I somehow believe that we can make it work.”

“I think it's not bad that you're so different from each other.”

“How is this good?”

“For instance, can you imagine him talking as much as you do? A day wouldn't have enough hours to fit all the words of both of you. No no no! It's good that he's a listener. You need somebody who listens and shows interest. You need somebody who is able to coax all your thoughts out of you so you'll eventually stop pondering. He is doing this for you. And that means that he cares about you a lot. Because if he wouldn't care, there's no chance in hell that he would listen to all of your confusing speeches.”

“Wow, I mean you totally dissed me right now, but I also feel weirdly encouraged?”

“That's good. Keep that in mind, Jin-Jinnie,” he guffaws before he stuffs his mouth with mint chocolate.

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

Jinyoung is waiting for Mark to open the door after he rang the doorbell. The blond asked him earlier to come over in the evening. Jinyoung is excited, to say the least. He made secret plans to low-key turn this night into a date. He just has to convince Mark of this idea.

“Hello Sugartoast.” It's not fair to greet him with such a charming smile. How is Jinyoung supposed to function now?!

“Hi!” Jinyoung beams at the blond boy. Is he drunk or is Mark shining more brightly than he usually is? Whatever it is, Jinyoung is glad he asked him over. “I thought we could go out and catch a movie tonight,” he suggests as he toes off his shoes. “I narrowed it down to two movies which both of us would probably like. You make the final decision.” Jinyoung is about to pass Mark his phone to show him the final choices when the other pulls a face.

“I don't know, Sugartoast. I don't feel like going out. Let's stay in and spend a nice evening on the couch. We could watch a movie here. Contrary to expectations Zootopia didn't kill me.”

“But we cry too often on your couch,” Jinyoung mumbles a little sulkily after his date idea was dismissed so quickly.

“That's true,” Mark laughs while he walks ahead into the living room. “But those times are over. It won't be like that anymore.”

“If you say so,” Jinyoung mutters as he follows. But he stops dead in his tracks as soon as he spots Youngjae sitting cross-legged on the couch. When Mark notices that his visitor isn't moving any further, he comes back, puts his arm around his waist and ushers Jinyoung gently towards the couch to take a seat.

“I asked Jae-Jae to come as well.”

“Uh-huh,” Jinyoung murmurs while the other guest, who looks equally stunned, lifts his hand to wave at him hesitantly.

“Now finally the proper introduction. Sugartoast, this is Jae-Jae. Jae-Jae, this is Sugartoast,” Mark introduces, smiling brightly. Either he isn't picking up on the weird atmosphere or he plainly ignores it.

“Actually it's Jinyoung,” he corrects.

“He calls himself Jinyoung,” Mark explains to Youngjae.

“The whole world does,” Jinyoung argues.

“I do not.”

“Because you're weird.”

“My name is Youngjae,” the third boy butts in. “Only Mark calls me Jae-Jae. And yes, he might be weird sometimes,” he says with an affectionate smile.

“At least you're agreeing on me being weird. Not bad for a start,” Mark jokes. “Soooo I head out to get us some pizza now.”

“What? No!” Jinyoung squeaks.

“We could just order pizza!” Youngjae suggests, sounding as panicked as Jinyoung feels.

“Yes, order pizza! Or anything else. It doesn't matter!”

“Or nothing at all. I'm not even hungry!”

“Yeah, me neither. I hate food!”

“Nice try, both of you,” Mark laughs. “I get us some pizza now and while I'll be gone, you could, I don't know, maybe talk a bit?” His pretty smile turns into a smirk before he disappears in the hallway. Now Jinyoung knows, he was definitely picking up on the weird atmosphere. And to make them talk somehow was probably his plan all along. Traitor!

Jinyoung squirms awkwardly in his seat. He wants nothing more than to bolt and run after Mark.

“You know, I love him but sometimes I hate his blatant ass,” Youngjae sighs. “Okay, I guess it’s clear he wants us to talk. I’m gonna start. And I would like to begin with an apology. I'm sorry I was rude to you right from the start when you literally didn't do anything wrong. But please let me explain myself. When Mark told me about you, I was furious and scared out of my mind. I was convinced that it was too early to start anything new with anyone, so shortly after he got over Junha. So I tried to convince him to stay away from you because I was sure it would all end in tears.”

“Funny, Jackson tried with all his might to keep me away from Mark for just the same reason,” Jinyoung muses.

“Awesome,” Youngjae snickers. “Now look at us, how we both still couldn't keep you apart.”

Jinyoung smiles softly. “So what now, are you still trying to convince him that it's better to stay away from me?”

“To be honest, in order to protect his feelings and mental health, I actually would. Not because you are you though. I just still think it's too early and that he should try to find a better balance in life first, before he involves another person. But it's like talking to a wall. He's not listening at all,” Youngjae rants and playfully sticks out his tongue.

Jinyoung learns that Youngjae isn't necessarily a mean jerk. He obviously can talk to him like a normal person. And since he's Mark's best friend and now the boyfriend of his friends, Jinyoung is rather relieved to find this out about him.

“I'm glad he's not listening to you though,” Jinyoung says quietly.

“Yeah, since you didn't listen to Jackson either, I thought you'd say that. Anyway, I know Mark shared his story about Junha with you and that's a big thing. He trusts you. And after all it seems like you're way more than a one-night stand. So whatever happens, I hope you'll give him the space he needs. And I beg of you, please don't hurt him. He was hurt too much already.”

Even though Jinyoung doesn't know exactly how much space Mark needs or doesn't need, he expected worse from this talk. What Youngjae says doesn't sound too bad. He still expected Youngjae to try scaring him away. Instead he only appeals to his understanding. It gives Jinyoung hope. It might not be impossible to convince Mark that another relationship is possible and good for him in the future. Even in his song Mark sang about the perfect match he's going to find for himself. Jinyoung wants to be exactly that.

“I plan to give him everything he needs,” Jinyoung assures with all the determination in the world. Youngjae responses with a nod and a tiny smile. “I'm glad you don't glare and hiss at me anymore.”

“I still would, if you'd be a prick. But both my boyfriends spend about 80% of their time telling me what a fine boy you are. Even if I wanted, i can't believe another thing anymore.”

“That's good. Though I can hardly imagine how this went down.”

“Mostly annoying,” he laughs, loud and unbothered. “Honestly, if you'd ever be on trial for murder, just let them both plead your case in court and you will get away with it. Every judge would believe you're innocent after those two would blabber on about you. At one point, Jaebum even pulled out your childhood pics and cooed 'Look at this cute baby. This cute baby could never do any harm'. It was hilarious. But I must admit, you were one cute kiddie.”

“Oh my god, he didn't,” Jinyoung whimpers.

“He did. Jackson asked for copies.”

“Ugh, those dumbasses. No offense, but you boyfriends are ridiculous.”

“I know. That's one of their many charming points.”

It's touching to see the fond smile on Youngjae's face while he talks about Jaebum and Jackson. It's a relief as well. Knowing that his friends are appreciated and loved like this allays a few of his daily concerns. Also Jinyoung thinks, if they can pull it off together, he and Mark also have a chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the sake of the story, can we please pretend that Mark's song is any good? Okay? Deal? Thank you! ^_^;
> 
> Also I love how nobody knows if it's Jack2Jae, 2JaeSon or 2JaeJack. XD We're all together in this confusion.


	10. Ten

**Sugartoast:** Hey Mark?

**Mark HARDER HARDER: **Hmmm?

**Sugartoast:** Do you want to grab some coffee or something?

**Mark HARDER HARDER: **Outside?

**Sugartoast: **If you don't have a coffee shop in your closet then yeah, outside.

**Mark HARDER HARDER: **Nah

**Sugartoast: **Why not?

**Mark HARDER HARDER: **Come over. I have coffee here.We can stay inside.

**Sugartoast: **Ooooooor we could go out? \ (•◡•) /

**Mark HARDER HARDER: **I like it more to stay inside.

**Sugartoast: **But don't you like a little change?

**Mark HARDER HARDER: **No

Jinyoung lets the phone drop with a groan. With a soft thud it lands on his bed, where he is currently lying on his back, his arms and legs sprawled out like a starfish.

“What's up?” Jackson asks from the other side of the room. He sits cross-legged on the vacant bed and now looks up from his textbook with raised eyebrows.

“Mark doesn't want to go out with me, and I don't even mean 'go out as a couple'. He doesn't want to go anywhere with me anymore. We only meet in his apartment or here, in my room.”

“He likes to be at home..... or _your_ home. What's the big deal?”

“That he doesn't want to go out to eat with me anymore. He doesn't even want to go to the club with me anymore. We used to go out into public together at least once in the while, but now.... nothing.”

“Maybe you're imagining things-”

“No.”

“Okay, then what do you think, why doesn't he want to go out into public with you?” Jackson asks tauntingly.

“He's ashamed of me.”

“Tsk!” Jackson shakes his head and rolls his eyes in one big dramatic motion. “Jinyoung, you're a hot babe. Nobody would be ashamed of you. Especially not Mark, who can't keep his dick limp when he sees you.”

“But what else could it be?” Jinyoung whines while he repeatedly punches his mattress in weepy despair.

“I don't know but I'm sure it's not half as bad as you make it out to be.”

“I wish I could understand him better. Now that I know more things about his past, I actually feel like we became somewhat closer. I thought it would be easier from now on. But I still don't have any clue what's going on in his mind.”

“Don't give up, Jinyoungie. You're heading in the right direction.”

“Direction to hell or what do you mean? He told me that he doesn't want me.”

“That he doesn't want _a relationship_,” Jackson corrects gently. “Not _now_.”

“Which is the same as he doesn't want me,” Jinyoung murmurs sulkily.

“Where is the positive Jinyoung who told me that he can be patient and strong for Mark?”

“He's waiting to go on a date.”

“Jinyoung,” Jackson sighs. “Calm down. I know this hurts right now but please, he needs you. Please don't grow impatient with him so soon. He still needs to figure all the stuff out, which for you is already crystal clear. What counts is that he allowed you to even come so close. He trusts you enough to expose his vulnerable side to you. After what he went through with Junha, I expected him to push away everyone new. But he didn't push _you_ away. You're still in his life. So I beg you Jinyoung, see that you're doing good right now. You can do this. You can show him that it's okay to be vulnerable in front of the right people. Please don't give up.”

Jinyoung knows he's too dramatic and whiny about the situation when just a couple of days earlier, he swore that he would be waiting patiently until Mark is ready to take the next step. He doesn't like it either when he's throwing a tantrum like a damn toddler. It's just that he's 100% ready to take Mark's hand and run into their shared future together. The frustration hits Jinyoung simply too hard every time he realizes that Mark isn't nearly as ready to run anywhere with him. But basically he knows that Jackson is right.

“I'm sorry for being a whiny baby. Thank you for putting up with me.”

“Ooooh, a peaceable Jinyoungie appeared. I like that,” Jackson coos.

“Yeah, sometimes I need somebody to set me straight,” Jinyoung explains while he smiles at Jackson. The latter looks at him with obvious fondness, like Jinyoung would be his little kitten which just learned not to pee on the carpet. “And.....uhm.... it feels very nice to have you on my side in this Mark situation now. I'm glad you gave up on trying to keep me away from him.”

“You had my full support from the minute you told me that you fell in love with him. That was a game changer. Now I just think if we can't steer around the storm, we better go full speed ahead right through it. Let's try to turn this whole situation into something great for you _and_ for Mark.”

“You really think I can do it, yeah?”

“Yep, I really think that. Otherwise I wouldn't support you in this,” he assures with an adorable smile. “Also Jaebum is your biggest shipper and it’s cute how happy he is when he talks about you and your future-boyfriend, a.k.a. Mark.”

“Aaaahhh, Jaebum is too much sometimes,” Jinyoung chuckles. “Isn't it funny? You tried to protect me from Mark like I tried to protect Jaebum from you at first.”

“We're dumbasses, Jinyoung. We just should..... do nothing,” he snickers and shakes his head.

“Yep, just do nothing, lie down and breathe. Nothing else.”

“Good idea!” Jackson exclaims as he jumps from the bed and on top of Jinyoung. The latter screams in surprise as this overgrown puppy attacks and starts to tickle him.

“AAAHHH! STOP! NO NO NO! STOP! PLEASE!” Jinyoung laughs while he tries to control his breathing. He rolls around and attempts to escape Jackson's teasing hands but there's no chance. “PLEASE! I PASS OUT!”

Of course he isn't about to pass out and Jackson certainly doesn't believe it, but he decides to stop torturing Jinyoung anyway. He climbs off him and drops onto the mattress right next to his friend. He knows Jackson's eyes are on him while he tries to catch his breath.

“Maybe,” Jackson starts, a smile evident in his voice, “I can help you to lure Mark out of his apartment. I will consult with my boyfriends.”

“Well, I would like that.... but it sounds a bit weird the way you phrase it.”

“Just wait until you see our power, my disbelieving friend. You and Mark will-”

A knock at the door interrupts Jackson. They exchange a questioning look.

“What if it is Alex?” Jinyoung whispers.

“Let's find out. COME IN!”

“Jackson!”

To Jinyoung's surprise it is not Alex who enters his room. Instead Jaebum and Youngjae come in, wearing bright smiles.

“Heeeey!” Jackson screeches and makes grabby hands at them but doesn't bother to stand up.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Jaebum asks and grasps one of Jackson's hands in an attempt to pull him up. But instead Jackson yanks him down on top of himself. Youngjae guffaws at Jaebum's bewildered face while Jinyoung rolls himself off his bed and crawls across the floor as fast as possible to get away from them.

“We're just hanging out and talk a bit,” Jackson answers, smiling brightly. He now waves at Youngjae, telling him with a simple gesture to join them on the bed. The boy sits down on the edge of it. Jaebum wrestles himself free from Jackson's grip to sit back up. In the meantime, Jinyoung finds refuge on the other bed where minutes ago Jackson tried to study.

Jinyoung beholds them and decides that they look like a bunch of meerkats, enjoying the day and comfortably hanging out all over each other.

“What are you talking about?” Youngjae questions.

“Just Jinyoung and Mark things.”

“What about Mark?” Youngjae's interest is obviously piqued now.

“It's about Jinyoung's fee-”

“NOTHING!” Jinyoung drowns out Jackson's voice. “ONLY BORING STUFF! NOTHING IMPORTANT!”

“Excuse me but that's very unconvincing,” Youngjae points out as he looks at Jinyoung with his head tilted to the side.

“Jinyoung, come ooooon,” Jackson tries to persuade.

“I can't talk about this stuff as long as he's here.”

“Me?” Youngjae asks in bewilderment and points at his own chest. “Why?”

“Because everything we discuss here, you will pass on to Mark.”

“Uhm... well....,” Youngjae stammers.

“No, he won't. Right babe?” Jaebum looks at Youngjae with so much hope and confidence that the boy is even more flustered now.

“Well....uhm... that is... what about Jackson though?” Youngjae asks hastily.

“No, Jackson is on my team,” Jinyoung clarifies.

“But he does know Mark longer than he does know you.”

“Uhm... that..... OH MY GOD THAT'S RIGHT!”

“Jinyoung,” Jackson sighs after he slapped Youngjae's shoulder. “You know I wouldn't tell him anything which I know you wouldn't want me to. I didn't so far, and I won't suddenly start to do it.”

“But it could accidentally slip out of your mouth,” Youngjae ponders. Jackson slaps him once again. He also offers him a tiny glare, obviously dissatisfied with his boyfriend's train of thoughts.

“Oh my god, he's right again,” Jinyoung panics. “The three of you are probably bitching all of the time about me and Youngjae is running straight to Mark an tells him everything. I can't deal with you spies anymore.”

“Jinyoung, what the heck?!” Jaebum butts in. “Please, don't go overboard here. I'm still your best friend. I'm on your team like nobody else ever was on your team. I'm basically Team Jinyoung's founder.”

“No, you're all lost for me since you're sleeping with the opponent's friend,” Jinyoung decides. He scowls at them as he crosses his arms on his chest.

“Oh come on, what is this dramatic outburst suddenly?” Jackson pipes up again. “Youngjae won't tell Mark anything. Youngjae _doesn't even know_ anything to tell him. Also you're acting like we would disclose your deepest darkest secrets while fucking. No offense, but that's not really sexy talk.”

“I don't know when it happens but it happens.”

“And now what? You will live without friends?” Jackson mocks.

“Maybe I should go to Alex. He at least wouldn't blurt out my secrets,” Jinyoung huffs in absence of a better response.

“Alex doesn't want to discuss your nights with Mark. Much rather Alex wants to be in Mark's place,” Jackson cackles.

“Wait,” Youngjae tosses in. “Is Mark aware of this Alex guy? I better call him.”

“Babe,” Jaebum sighs, “can you at least try not to act like his spy all of the time?”

“Why?” Youngjae asks naively and blinks with wide eyes at one of his boyfriends.

“I go now,” Jinyoung spits as he jumps to his feet. “It wasn't nice talking to you.”

“Jinyoungie, don't go!” Jackson pleads.

“Jinyoung, what is up with you? Why are you in such a bad mood anyway?” Jaebum questions.

Jinyoung is already almost out of the door, but he still hears the hint of worry in his voice. Even he isn't able to give Jaebum an answer to this question. He is surprised at himself. But instead of turning around again he just calls out, “I'M VISITING MARK. DON'T HAVE SEX IN MY ROOM!”

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

“All my friends are _your_ friends now. I don't have anyone left I can trust,” Jinyoung grumbles as soon as Mark opens the door. The blond blinks at him for a couple of seconds before he replies.

“Hello to you, too, Sugartoast. Also, what are you even talking about?”

“Everything I tell them would sooner or later reach your ears anyway.” Jinyoung stomps inside and angrily kicks off his shoes.

“Wow, you're in a really bad mood.”

“I'm not!” he hisses.

“Sure you aren't,” the other boy chuckles. “So when you say 'friends' you're talking about our lovely throuple? You say Jackson and Jaebum are my friends more than they are yours?”

“Yes! Thanks to your spy friend Youngjae!”

“So you came here to tell me anything directly instead of telling them?”

“NOOO! Of course not. I'm obviously here to complain.”

“Okay, as long as you're here, I'm fine with whatever.”

Jinyoung is caught off-guard by this casually uttered statement which actually lets his heart beat faster. Is this Mark's way of flirting? He doesn't look very playful or flirty right now. He looks at Jinyoung as if this was a normal thing to say. He would like to reply something but still can't catch a thought in his brain that would be smart enough to say out loud. Turns out he actually doesn't need to say anything because suddenly some kind of buzzer goes off and Mark's attention is immediately grabbed by it.

“Excuse me for a moment. Just make yourself at home while I quickly take the pie out of the oven.”

“You baked a pie?” Jinyoung asks stunned.

“Yeah,” Mark answers and shrugs his shoulders.

“_You_?”

“Yes. _I_.”

“You bake..... I never would have guessed,” Jinyoung mumbles while Mark walks into the kitchen and he enters the living room.

“I LOVE TO SURPRISE, SUGARTOAST.” A high-pitched giggle naturally follows his statement and elicits a tiny smile from Jinyoung.

He stands in the middle of Mark's spacious living room and takes a look around. Now he perceives this apartment in a completely different way. When he set foot in it for the first time during that party, he thought he entered a freaking whore den. But now, after spending so much time here alone with Mark, Jinyoung sees it as a quiet, comfortable and safe place. Funny how things change with time and perspective.

And it's only now that Jinyoung takes in the details of the apartment for the first time. Instead of only focusing on Mark and every little motion of his, he takes a look at his surroundings. Jinyoung spots all the books about music theory and biographies of musicians, classical ones and modern ones. There are also photo books of indie bands. And then his eyes fall on the expensive looking record player and the many, many vinyls neatly sorted in the rack beside it. He takes a look at the vinyl currently placed in the record player. Apparently it's an album by a band called Death Cab For Cutie. Jinyoung has never heard of them but quickly memorizes the title of the album for possible future purposes. It might be a good idea to check out the music Mark likes.

“What are you doing?”

Jinyoung flinches at the sound of the voice which snapped him out of his thoughts. When he turns around Mark stands right behind him and looks at him with curious eyes.

“Just looking around, absorbing what I missed so far.”

“You know, everything was always here. There's nothing new.”

“I know, but I never looked at anything here. I always looked at you, and _you only_.”

“Oh.... okay,” he murmurs and casts his eyes down. “And found something interesting?”

“Right now everything here is new and interesting to me.”

Mark snorts with laughter. “Alright Sugartoast, just take a break for now to enjoy some pie.” The blond gestures at the coffee table where plates loaded with pie are waiting for them.

Jinyoung quickly walks over to take a closer look. It's plum crumble pie and it looks and smells amazing. There are also two steaming mugs of hot chocolate prepared. The combination makes his mouth water.

“The pie is still warm. Hurry up, Sugartoast,” Mark says, obviously amused by Jinyoung's amazement. They take a seat and Jinyoung doesn't wait another second before he digs in.

“This is so delicious. I can't believe you did this.”

“Another thing you learned today.” The lopsided grin on his face makes him look cute but Jinyoung knows him well enough by now to realize there's the smallest hint of shyness.

“Yes! I learn the most amazing things about you. How could you withhold this important information about you actually being a master baker for so long?”

“Now now, it's just a crumble pie. We don't want to go overboard here.”

“I want to go overboard. I also want to lie down in this pie and I want to make pie angels in it and I want to cover myself with this pie and sleep under it. I want to dress in that pie and basically just want to live in this pie. I also want to breathe this pie but this seems impossible.”

“While the rest of your list totally makes sense.”

“Exactly. Well, I don't say I look good dressed in pie, but I would risk it.”

“You would look excellent,” Mark says with a grin. “I'm sure your a-”

“Stop! Something perverted is coming and I'm not yet ready for it. Instead tell me if you're also a master chef.”

“I'm more the baking only type of guy. You remember all the pizza I order, right?”

“Right. That's fine with me. You have enough talents already. Calm down or I look like a lousy pig next to you.”

“You're in a better mood now,” Mark points out while he starts to eat his slice of pie. So far he was occupied with watching Jinyoung munching away at this tasty delight.

“Yeah, how couldn't I after this delicious treat. I feel revived.” He doesn't know if it was just the sweet taste of the pie which soothed his nerves and calmed his mind or if it was Mark's presence. It wouldn't surprise him if the blond would have played a part in it.

“But you came here with complaints. I'm ready to hear you out.”

“I'm not in complaining mood anymore. But...”

“Yeah?”

“It's still valid that I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to anymore. I'm afraid Jackson and Jaebum wouldn't be able to shut their mouths in front of Youngjae, since in a relationship people simply tend to tell each other everything.”

“Sugartoast....” Mark says, his voice soft and his eyes softer. “Please don't look so sad. You always can talk to me about everything, you know?”

“What's the point when I try to keep those things a secret from you?” Jinyoung blurts out.

Mark slightly frowns at that. “You shouldn't try to keep secrets from me in the first place. Just tell me. I'm sure we can work it out, whatever it is.”

Jinyoung is a lot less sure about it. How would Mark react, if he would straight out tell him that he's so in love with him that it's sometimes hard to breathe? What would he say, if he tells him that he secretly imagines how it would feel to go on dates together and how proud it would make him to call Mark his boyfriend? What would Mark think about him, if Jinyoung tells him that even though he knows Mark doesn't want another relationship, he still hopes for a future together?

“I can't.”

“But I'm so curious. I told you so many things about myself. Do you think it's fair to keep secrets from me all of the sudden? Hmm?” Mark puts his plate back down on the coffee table and slowly moves closer to Jinyoung while he looks at him with wide brown doe eyes. And even though this is already enough to make Jinyoung's heart do somersaults in his chest, Mark still decides to step up his game, so his pretty mouth forms a childish pout.

“T-Trying to be cute here, Tuan?” Jinyoung grumbles in a frantic attempt to not let Mark know how much it affects him. The closer Mark moves the more Jinyoung scoots across the couch, away from him. But eventually the wildcat attacks. Mark holds him by his wrist and stops his attempted escape. In one swift move he straddles Jinyoung and eventually pins him down on the couch by letting himself drop into his lap.

Jinyoung follows his movements wide-eyed. Just seconds ago he was eating pie and discussing friendship and now his very own three-quarter god conquered him without prior notice. Jinyoung stares up into his prettily shaped eyes and tries to handle the flaring spark in them.

“You say I'm not cute, Sugartoast?” His voice dropped into a seductive deepness which Jinyoung never could fight. His intense eyes take Jinyoung's breath away. It's impossible for him to form a sensible thought and it's not helping that Mark's warm hands slowly slide up his chest and then his neck to eventually cup his face. He can't give him an answer to his question to save his life. Instead he just continues to stare up at him, completely mesmerized.

“But you're right,” Mark quietly rasps. He interrupts himself to lean in and slowly drag his tongue across Jinyoung's bottom lip. “You're the cute one here.” Tiny kitten licks bless Jinyoung's upper lip. “Not me.” Then Mark kisses him. It's just a quick press, lips against lips, but it's enough for Jinyoung to feel his addiction setting in. Mark pulls away too fast and Jinyoung would chase his warm mouth but Mark still holds his face in his hands. So he just keeps staring at him, now with half-lidded eyes. “_You_ have all the charm,” Mark whispers. There's another kiss, longer and more urgent. He pulls back again, but only a little this time. His clear eyes look directly into Jinyoung's soul, or at least that's what he believes. “You shine so bright, Sugartoast. I barely can look at you without being dazzled. You are perfection while all I am is a pile of shards.”

Jinyoung gasps. He wants to protest. He wants to tell Mark what he looks like in his eyes, that he means the world to him and that he is his own kind of perfection. But he doesn't have a chance. The blond is back on his lips and this time he didn't come to play. In seconds his tongue slips into Jinyoung's mouth and goes on its mission to ruin him. If his plan was to kiss him senseless, it definitely works. His tongues tastes like sweet plums and seduction.

Jinyoung enjoys this so much. Mark's hot kisses are sensual and unique. The way he alternates between deep and passionate kisses just to go back to softly suck Jinyoung's cupid bow, drives him mad with longing. Mark pulls back only so much that Jinyoung would open his eyes a little to check on him, just so he could rob Jinyoung of all his sanity in a heartbeat again. The only noise he can offer is a pathetic whimper. A sign that he wants Mark back on him, closer, so much closer. The blond understands and he returns. Soft lips keep playing with Jinyoung. He doesn't possess his own free will anymore. He handed everything over. It all belongs to Mark. He only receives what Mark is gracious enough to give him.

When the blond sucks on his tongue, a desperate moan erupts from the back of his throat. Embarrassment dances on the edge of his mind only for a split second before Mark licks into his mouth again, and every thought is forgotten. Way too late Jinyoung remembers that he is the proud owner of hands which actually could help him to increase the pleasure. He's greedy like that. He slides his palms along Mark's thighs, rubs them up and down and wishes that the boy on top of him would be naked. He continues his journey up to his strong hips before he finally reaches around him to cup Mark's firm ass. Another moan slips into the blond's mouth but now Jinyoung doesn't care anymore. He much rather enjoys the passion between them and the feeling of this sexy ass in his palms.

They kiss furiously like this for heaven knows how long. Jinyoung can't suppress his excitement. He doesn't even try. The attempt would be nothing more than tilting at windmills anyway. When the blond sucks on his bottom lip Jinyoung uses the tight grip he has on his rear to pull him closer. “Mmmmhhh... Maaark,” he moans and hopes for some more action.

But instead Mark pulls away. “Sugartoast, you should go home.”

Jinyoung's eyes snap open immediately. “Why?”

“Because it's your early day tomorrow and we both know that you won't get out of bed on time if you stay the night,” Mark explains. His soft smile isn't fair. His sexy, deep voice isn't fair. The way he gently pats Jinyoung's head isn't fair.

“But we did it before, right? There were like two nights we spent together and could manage without having sex.” Jinyoung is simply not ready to accept that this night is supposed to end like this. He wants more of Mark. To end up alone in his bed is just too much of a disappointment.

“Yeah, but this make-out session got us both pretty horny and it would be naive to think that we could deal without pouncing on each other tonight. And you know we won't stop after only one time.” Jinyoung knows he's right but still doesn't really want to admit it. “In fact, as soon as you're out of the door I will watch the video I've taken of you and jerk off to it.” Mark's husky voice is so alluring that Jinyoung feels himself twitch in his pants.

“Fuck,” he hisses through clenched teeth.

“Yeah, better run, Sugartoast.”

But instead, Jinyoung wraps his arms around Mark's lower back and lets his forehead drop against his chest. “Now I want you even more,” he says pitifully. He feels how Mark presses a peck to the top of his head. His heart flutters again at the affectionate gesture. But the next thing he knows is Mark wriggling himself free and sliding off his lap. Jinyoung yearningly watches him walk away and even makes grabby hands at him. “Please come back.”

“Cute,” Mark giggles as he turns around and catches sight of Jinyoung's childish performance. ”I'm gonna call you a taxi.”

Jinyoung slumps back into the cushions of the couch. He releases a deep sigh as he runs his fingers through his hair. “Fine,” he huffs. “But don't pay for me again.”

“I won't,” Mark assures as he taps away on his phone.

Jinyoung watches the tiny smile appearing on his lips. “You will, right? You already paid for it, right?” he sighs.

“Yep, I did.” Mark looks up from his phone with the most adorable impish grin.

“You're an incorrigible.”

“I guess so,” he snickers and Jinyoung falls in love with him for the thousandth time.

They drink the rest of their now cold chocolate. When Mark accompanies Jinyoung to the hallway he holds his hand. Before the blond opens the door for him he pins Jinyoung against the wall and once again sweeps him of his feet with the exhilarating passion of his kisses. When Mark steps back Jinyoung feels a bit dizzy but in a good way. The beaming smile Mark offers him is just as gorgeous as the rest of the boy. Jinyoung only manages a lazy smile in return.

“Sleep well, Sugartoast.”

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

Unfortunately Jinyoung's mood dropped into a deep dark pit again as soon as he left Mark's apartment. Now he lies in bed, very exhausted and fairly tired, but unable to sleep. Instead he tosses and turns and thinks about Mark's smile and how his sharp canine teeth felt against his tongue.

In the midst of his thoughts he is interrupted by a knock at his door. Now this is a bit creepy. So late at night nobody is supposed to drop by unless Jackson would have the spontaneous urge to see him. He lies in bed stone-still while he considers what to do.

“Jinyoung?” he hears from the other side of the door. And now he gets to his feet because the owner of this voice is definitely not creepy.

“Jaebum?” he asks bewilderedly when he yanks open the door.

“Hey Jinyoung.” He greets him with a cute smile.

“What are you still doing here?”

“Youngjae went home a while ago but I stayed with Jackson, since I really wanted to see you one more time today. But it took you ages to return so I missed my last bus home and I kind of stranded here.”

“Oh... sorry. You should have sent me a message.”

“No need to be sorry. I called my parents, telling them that I will stay with you tonight. That means if it's okay for you...”

“Of course. Come in.”

“Great,” his surprise guest cheers as he gets rid of his shoes and light jacket. “They said to say hi to you and give you kisses and tell you that you should come visit again soon.”

“Ugh, your parents are truly the best.”

“I know.”

Jinyoung lies back down and snuggles into his blanket. The other boy crawls into the bed on the other side of the room, now only dressed in boxers and a t-shirt.

“What did you mean when you said you wanted to see me once again today?”

“You were in such a weird mood earlier. And you kind of said I would betray your trust as your best friend. I just wanted to check on you.”

“Oh... that. Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I know you wouldn't spill my secrets on purpose. But I kind of expect that it would happen automatically when you're with your boyfriends so....”

“Jinyoung, please believe me that Jackson and I do everything to help you out and won't reveal anything about you, which you don't want to be revealed.”

“Okay..... sorry for my outburst earlier. And thank you. I don't know what's up with me today.”

“Hmmm,” Jaebum hums into the dark silence. “How was it with Mark today?”

“Good. It felt really nice to spend time with him. But then he said I should go home, since I have an early course tomorrow.”

“Oooohh, responsible boyfriend.”

“I wish,” Jinyoung snorts. “I really wish.”

“I just can't imagine him not being absolutely into you. I think everything is going to work out.”

“Are you saying this to make me feel good?”

“Yeah, but also because I believe it. And now sleep, Jin-Jinnie. Your almost-boyfriend wouldn't appreciate it, if I keep you from catching enough sleep.”

“Boyfriend,” Jinyoung mumbles. “That sounds so nice.”

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

“Jinyoung? Hey Jinyoung? Wake up.”

Jinyoung cracks his eyes open and hell awaits him as soon as realization kicks in. His head hurts like crazy and it's so cold but at the same time he's sweating buckets. “What's going on?” he ask with his voice sounding strangely croaky. Jaebum looks down at him with a face covered by wrinkles of sorrows.

“You're sick, Jinyoung. Don't you remember that you were awake already an hour ago?”

“What? No...”

“You have a fever and.... please take this handkerchief and clean yourself up.” Only now he realizes that he has a runny nose. He tries to sit up but drops back into his pillow immediately. It's not worth the trouble, he decides. Instead he just takes the offered handkerchief and cleans his nose as best as he can. “You slept through your alarm and when I tried to wake you up I noticed right away that something was off. I asked you how you feel but you only looked at me and told me to get your plum crumble pie? And then you drifted off to sleep again. I only woke you up now because you obviously had a bad dream.”

“Oh.... fuck.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Awful,” Jinyoung whines. “Can you give me some water please? My throat is so dry. And why is it so cold in here?” he ask and pulls the blanket up to his chin.

“It's not cold in here. But you probably have the chills. Damn, I assume you don't have any meds here?”

Jinyoung shakes his head and it hurts like hell. He takes the glass of water from his friend. At least he can fight against the desert in his throat. But he realizes now that his hair is drenched with sweat and his nose won't stop with the snot.

“I was afraid something like this would happen. Already as a kiddo you always were in a funny mood before you got sick. I just knew it,” Jaebum sighs and Jinyoung now perceives that this is probably the reason why Jaebum wanted to check on him last night. “Should I call your parents?”

“Please don't!” Jinyoung immediately rejects. “They would cause more trouble than it's worth.”

“I already sent a message to Jackso-”

“JINYOUNGIE!” Jackson screams as he stumbles into the room without even bothering to announce his arrival in any way. He tumbles and lands on the floor, only to quickly knee-walk over to Jinyoung's bed. “Jinyoungie how are you?” His big puppy eyes search Jinyoung's face. He's obviously already taking pity on him even though Jinyoung didn't answer yet.

“Not good.”

“OH NOOO!” he whines and breaks down at the edge of his bed.

“I won't die, okay? I just need to rest a bit,” he croaks and pats Jackson's head. The boy sends him another sympathetic look before he turns to look up at his boyfriend.

“Sorry, I'm late. I read your message after I woke up. You just should have come over to my room and tell me about Jinyoungie.”

“Nah, Jinyoung slept until now. Nothing you could have done so far anyway,” Jaebum tries to calm him down.

“But I want to nurse him back to health and baby him and-”

“And also attend your course later,” his boyfriend reminds him. Jackson puppy-pouts at him and offers a sulky huff. “Unfortunately I have an important lecture today, too.”

“I can take care of him,” a new voice announces. Jinyoung looks up to see Alex walking in. He silently groans. There's no way he can have Alex around, not when they are alone and he's physically weak. The other took advantage of his emotional weakness once before so now Jinyoung wouldn't put it past him to make use of another one of those opportunities.

“Uuuuhm... that's nice but we got this,” Jaebum declines after exchanging a quick look with Jackson.

“But you just said that you both have courses today. I don't have anything until the late afternoon. I would like to help.” Alex's hazelnut-brown eyes, wide and innocent looking, wander from one boy to the other, checking how his explanation is received.

Jinyoung gathers all his strength to shift himself into a sitting position before he speaks. “It's fine. I don't need anybody to baby me. I'm old enough to get better by myself. And I probably just can sleep it off.”

“No Jinyoung, you obviously need some help and care,” Alex argues.

Only now Jinyoung realizes that nobody bothered to shut the door, only now that Mark magically appears in the room and finally closes it behind himself. Jinyoung quietly gasps as he spots him. A second later all eyes turn from him to the blond.

Mark wordlessly takes a look around, lets his eyes sweep over the room before he addresses Alex. “What are _you_ doing here?”

“Jinyoung is sick and I'm here to take care of him,” the boy defends himself sulkily.

“You can go now because I'm here to do exactly that.”

“Why would you? You aren't his boyfriend,” he retorts, grumbling and glaring.

“Last time I checked you weren't either. So get out!”

“Alex, please just leave,” Jinyoung groans.

“But I can make-”

“Listen, boy!” Mark barks while he plants himself in front of Alex. “Jinyoung obviously doesn't want to have you here. He's sick and he's tired and your presence doesn't do anything to make him feel better. So get out of here before I make you!”

“Oh you make me? Then make me, you arrogant asshole. What makes you think he wants to have _you_ here? What makes you think _you_ can do anything for him?” Alex spits as he shoves his face close to Mark's.

“Guys, come on,” Jackson tries to interrupt them but Mark already grasps the collar of Alex's shirt.

“You dumb little shit, you don't know anything,” Mark hisses into his face.

“Yeah? Do you know that Jinyoung and I kissed? Like several minutes?”

Jinyoung groans once again. If he would be physically capable of right at this moment, he would beat Alex up all by himself. Instead he can't do anything. The way Mark's shoulders slightly drop and his head whips around to glance at Jinyoung only for a second, lets panic bubble up inside of Jinyoung. The slightest hint of uncertainty in Mark's eyes, he saw it. But it seems like the blond pushes it aside quickly.

“I don't fucking care what you think you are to him. You will leave him alone, sicko!”

“I won't leave him alone with you, asshole!”

Jinyoung notices how Mark's grip on his collar tightens and the blond is shaking with anger. Jinyoung feels dazed and decides that he really isn't in the best condition to endure such drama now. He just wants to sleep. ”Stop! I feel like being on the verge of death and I don't need a whole audience to witness this. Can I have some rest please?”

“Of course,” Jaebum says softly. “But somebody has to stay and take care of you. I'm your best friend so-”

“I will stay. I have time and I brought meds and everything,” Mark reasons, calmer now. He lets go of Alex to take off his backpack. After unzipping it he reveals a whole variety of meds, healthy snacks and juices.

“Wow,” Jaebum marvels. “You got a serious point here.”

“I will stay as well,” Alex huffs.

“I think Mark should stay,” Jackson decides. “He can catch Jinyoung's germs and the rest of us will leave now.”

“No!”

“Alexander, my dearest friend and roommate, come with us. Jaebum has adorable pics of kiddo Jinyoungie which you should see. How about it?” Jackson tries to convince the obstinate boy.

“I stay.”

“Jaebum, seize him,” Jackson whispers, still loud enough for everybody in the room to catch.

“I'm a philosophy student, not a freaking bouncer,” his boyfriend replies stunned.

“Honestly, what are you good for?” he sighs dramatically. “Come on, Alex!” Jackson tries to drag him out but Alex still refuses.

“Alex!” Jinyoung speaks up one more time. “I don't want to have you here. I don't want you near me. I don't want you to take care of me and the last thing I want is to be alone with you. Please leave now!”

There's a second when the disappointment is visible in Alex's eyes. It's a realization that Alex blocked out for the longest time. It's another heartbreak. Jinyoung saw the same kind of pain already after Alex confessed to him and he rejected his feelings. Eventually the boy turns around and rushes out without another word.

Jinyoung is a tiny bit sorry but it was important to be so blunt with his words. Alex finally needed to understand. And Jinyoung thinks this time he did. He heaves a deep sigh and drops back down into his pillow. His head is pounding so badly by now. He just wants some peace.

“Good job, Jinyoungie,” Jackson reassures and pulls the blanket back up to cover Jinyoung's body completely.

“Yeah,” Jaebum chimes in. “That was necessary. Now get better quickly, okay?”

“Yeah, I will. Thank you, guys.”

“Take good care of him,” Jaebum says to Mark and gives him a pat on the back. Then he and Jackson leave as well.

Mark just stands there in the middle of the room with his open backpack and stares at Jinyoung.

“Now take care of me. Staring at me doesn't equal caring,” Jinyoung mumbles, getting shy for no reason from the intensity of his eyes.

“Oh Sugartoast,” Mark says softly as he approaches him. “I wish I wouldn't have sent you away last night. At least this way I could have taken care of you without fighting through a whole drama plot first.”

Jinyoung snickers weakly. “I know you meant well. Still..... I'm glad you're here now. But how did you know?”

Mark sits down on the bed and starts to rummage his backpack. “Jackson sent me a message.”

“But that was like what? Half an hour ago? And you somehow managed to get all this stuff and come here?”

“When it's important I can react quickly. Don't look at me like I'm some lethargic sloth.”

“Amazing,” Jinyoung marvels.

In the next half an hour Mark feeds Jinyoung the food he brought, gives him some of his healthy juices and eventually gives him the right doses of meds. He places a big box of tissues on the bedside table which Jinyoung immediately puts to use.

When the patient is still shivering, Mark slips into bed with him. The blond pulls him close so that Jinyoung can rest his heavy head on his chest. Immediate comfort spreads through Jinyoung when he feels Mark's body heat against him. With a sigh of relief he nestles more into the warm curve of him and closes his eyes.

“Sugartoast, your snot is all over the place and it's slightly disgusting.”

“Thank you for the detailed information and also shut the fuck up,” Jinyoung mumbles, unbothered.

“Hey, I said 'slightly', okay?”

“Yeah, then slightly shut the fuck up.”

Mark snickers quietly. Jinyoung loves the gentle rumble underneath his head. He feels Mark's arm sneaking up behind him and wrapping around him protectively. He feels so much better right away.

“Where there any feelings for him at some point?” Mark suddenly asks, voice calm and serious.

“Who?” Jinyoung mumbles into his chest.

“Alex?”

“Mark, my head already hurts. Don’t make it worse. Please.”

“Is this a no?”

With a deep sigh Jinyoung opens his eyes and looks up at Mark. “I might have to explain something here. After you kicked me out last time, I was so hurt and kind of ran into him. I was crying my eyes out. I was a whole mess and he tried to comfort me. In the middle of it he started to kiss me. That's the story. He was kind of taking advantage of my hurt feelings. I was too damn confused to tell him off. But I can assure you that these aren't typical actions that make me fall in love with somebody.”

“Damn,” Mark curses. “Excuse me for just five minutes, okay?”

“Where do you wanna go?”

“Just arranging it so that Jackson has the dorm room for himself from now on.”

“Nope, you won't leave me alone just to murder somebody. Rejected.”

“Ugh, killjoy,” Mark mumbles but pulls Jinyoung closer. “Seriously, what is up with this jerk? How can Jackson even be friends with somebody like him?”

“Jackson can make almost everybody his friend. He's really amazing like that,” Jinyoung reasons.

“Oh, you sound like you want to become boyfriend number 3,” Mark snickers and pokes his cheek.

“Nah, I think Jackson is doing pretty good with the collection of boyfriends he has already assembled,” he hoarsely chuckles. “Hey Mark?”

“Hmmm?”

“I was wondering...... are you still meeting up with this one guy?”

“Who?”

“You know, the one you occasionally meet to make out with, the one who called you this one time I was at your place and you declined his call. This one.”

“Aaah, this guy. No, I don’t.”

“Oh, okay.” Jinyoung inwardly celebrates a whole party. The relief and joy and hope that flood his mind are incredibly huge. He would love to know if he's the reason for it. He wants to know much more but he restrains himself from getting deeper into it. The spark of hope that flickers in his mind would make him expect hearing things like 'because I have you now‘, but he’s well aware that in reality Mark wouldn’t answer that way. Too fresh is the memory of him declaring himself against a new relationship. So whatever Mark would answer to Jinyoung’s questions, he would probably end up disappointed.

“Why are you asking?” That one, Jinyoung didn't see coming.

“Oh, no reason. It was just a quick thought.” Once again Jinyoung's panicked mind spits out the first random thought to defuse the situation. “Hey, do you know this, when you prepare to go out for the day and you can't decide which backpack to take with you? You could decide to take the smaller one but then there's the risk that you can't take all the important stuff with you. I mean there is a lot of planning involved. For instance, would you need a jacket that day? Would you wear it or just put it in the backpack in case it gets chilly? Or is it warm but it might still be raining that day? You need to pack an umbrella then. And do you take a bottle of water with you and something to eat? Or do you decide to just buy those things on the way instead? So maybe you take the small backpack but then you don't have everything with you what you might need to survive the day. But if you take the big backpack you might not have enough stuff to put into it because you don't need everything which I just listed but almost everything but it would not fit into the small one but the big one is still so big that it would look funny on your back, like a deflated balloon because it's not nearly full enough to maintain its nice shape. How to decide?”

“Wow.... you really feel unwell, huh?”

“Hey! These are legit problems.”

“Jinyoung, I have _one_ backpack. I don't even have options to consider.”

“Oh.... so I guess you don't know the problem then.”

“Not really. But I'm glad you didn't lose your motivation to talk despite being sick.”

“Never,” he chuckles.

“And now that these thoughts transformed into speech, I hope they are forever out of your head and you never have to ponder again over backpack sizes.”

“Whew, I hope so.”

“But as we speak about backpacks, there's one more thing I brought for you.” Mark gently pushes Jinyoung away to sit up. The patient curiously watches him searching something in his backpack, almost expecting to see more meds appearing. “I wanted to give it to you yesterday already but we kind of got carried away so...”

Eventually he pulls out a small white box with a navy blue ribbon tied in a bow around it. He holds it out for Jinyoung to take with a timid smile on his lips. “For you, Sugartoast.”

Fairly surprised Jinyoung also sits up and takes it from him. “What is this?”

“You have to find out.”

So Jinyoung unwraps it carefully and opens the box. A sparkly silver chain rests on smooth blue satin. He stares at the necklace in bewilderment. Little bursts of joy turn his normal heart rate into a wild flutter. But there is also something else. Confusion. The other day Mark established the fact that he wasn't willing to start a new relationship and today he gives Jinyoung a gift which screams romantic gesture loud and clear. Jinyoung asks himself if secretly Mark is enrolled in a course called 'mixed signals' because he's great at that. Silently, he keeps contemplating what exactly he means to Mark, needless to say without any useful results.

“Okay, so you really don't like it, huh? Maybe it wasn't such a good idea. Sorry. I take it ba-”

“Wait! I like it! A lot!” Jinyoung blurts out and quickly moves the little box out of Mark's reach.

“Your face just looked like you want to chew it up and spit it out again.”

“That was... my surprised face.”

“I know your surprised face. That's not it.”

“I truly like it, Mark. But it's not even my birthday or anything.”

“It's just a little present for you so you know that you're special. A very special person, that's what you are. And I want this necklace to remind you of this fact as often as possible.”

“Oh...,” Jinyoung simply breathes because this is once again one of the rare situations when he doesn't have any words left to say.

“I know you're not that fond of wearing accessories. I realized that already. I just thought.... maybe you can place it somewhere on your desk and when you'd study and your eyes would find this necklace, for a brief second you would think about what an amazing person you are and find some encouragement in it.”

So much confusion. So many feelings. Jinyoung already feels tears welling up in his eyes. The way Mark tries to make Jinyoung feel good about himself always makes him emotional but this time it reached a new peak. “I want to wear it,” he mumbles.

“Really?”

“Yeah, please help me.” A very peaceful looking Mark takes the jewelry from Jinyoung and gingerly puts it around his neck. The cold silver feels strange against his hot skin but it's not the bad kind of strange. He runs his fingertips along the chain and a deep feeling of satisfaction seizes him.

“It looks beautiful on you,” Mark whispers as his eyes follow Jinyoung's movements.

“Thank you. I wish I could kiss you now but... the snot and germs and everything.”

“It's fine,” Mark chuckles. “I'm glad you like it. Also it's only a pleasure deferred, so prepare yourself. And now come here.”

Mark pulls him back into his arms and down on the bed again. Like this, Jinyoung at least manages to press a few tiny kisses to Mark's neck and collar bones before he rest his head on his handsome nurse's chest again.

He feels the familiar touch of Mark's fingertips on his back, gently dancing down his spine until he reaches the round of his ass. His soft touches, the way he caresses his butt like it's something precious, all the tenderness, Jinyoung enjoys every bit of it. He almost forgets that he's sick. Only the fatigue and exhaustion which overcome him are clear signs that his body needs rest. And gladly Mark's presence soothed him so much that he now can drift into a peaceful slumber.

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

People can say about Jackson what they want, but he's definitely a true friend. And when Jackson Wang promises to help, he will try his damn best to help. If this help in the end is what really was needed in the respective situation, remains to be seen tough.

Anyway, Jinyoung is all dolled up and on his way to a restaurant where he would meet Jackson, Jaebum, Youngjae and Mark for some kind of weird double date, without half of the participants (Mark and Youngjae) knowing that it is a double date.

When he enters the restaurant he spots his friends immediately in the back. He walks towards them and realizes that he's the last one to arrive. Jaebum, Jackson and Youngjae sit next to each other on one side of the table. While across from them sits Mark, his back currently facing Jinyoung.

When he comes closer, Jaebum spots him first. He smiles brightly and waves at him. With this the other boys notice him as well and immediately Mark turns around.

Jinyoung's lungs are about to pass out upon seeing him. Mark looks at him with round eyes, takes in his appearance from head to toe and then stands up to meet Jinyoung half way. As he walks towards him, Jinyoung's heart is hammering in his chest. Mark wears light blue skinny jeans with his white button-up shirt neatly tucked in. An expensive-looking black belt adorns his narrow hips and matches perfectly with his black dress shoes. His shiny blond hair is styled accurately so that his nicely shaped forehead can be admired.

Mark steps close to him and places his hands on Jinyoung's hips. With an alluring smile on his lips he pushes his face close to his ear. “Hi Sugartoast, you're looking tempting.” He closes the last bit of distance between them to press a tiny kiss on the outline of Jinyoung's cheekbone.

That's it. Jinyoung's heart is about to burst through his ripcage. Luckily Mark is still holding him in place. “Hi,” he whispers. “You look fine as heck, too.”

“But you look like the prince of shadow today and it's freaking attractive.” Jinyoung didn't expect to get such a reaction out of Mark with his simple combination of clothes. It's almost the same as Mark's outfit but he chose to wear all black tonight. Additionally his dark hair is neatly parted at the side and slicked back. Now he's happy about whatever it was that let him make this outfit decision.

“When I'm the prince of shadow, you're the prince of light today.”

“I like that combination,” Mark whispers and winks at him from almost no distance. Jinyoung might be on the verge of fainting.

“So how is it going? I'm not late, am I?”

“No, we're all just rather early. But thank heavens you're here. I don't know why those three catastrophes over there requested this.... _meeting_ tonight but I can't be alone with them for a single minute longer.”

“So bad?” Jinyoung snickers.

“I have to admit the best part was when Jaebum pulled out some of your kiddo pics. But then it got worse and worse. They are so lovey-dovey and.... damn I just say it, they are so damn annoying together that I want to scream. Please save me.”

“Ooohh poor baby,” Jinyoung coos and wraps his arms around him. “I'm sure it will be a nice evening from now on.”

“Hey, will you two join us here at the table or do you prefer to keep making out in the middle of the restaurant?” Jackson rants in the background.

Mark turns his head to glare at him. “When I have those two choices, I clearly-” the blond starts to reply but Jinyoung quickly kisses him quiet. He feels Mark's body relaxing in his arms immediately.

When Jinyoung pulls away, he looks him deep in the eyes and smiles at him. “Let's enjoy this, okay?”

“Fine,” Mark sighs. “I try.”

They walk over to their shared table and take their seats. Jinyoung greets his friends and simply hopes that Mark didn't notice Jackson's overexaggerated attempt to wink. If possible he wants to keep it from Mark that he almost begged for this date to happen. Though Jinyoung admits he would have loved it way more, if Jackson somehow would have managed to organize a date for him and Mark alone. But he doesn't want to complain. He takes what he can get.

“Jaebum, you need to stop showing my childhood pics around,” he mildly scolds the boy sitting opposite of him.

“Nooo, everyone is always delighted seeing them,” Jackson chimes in from beside Jaebum. “Mark was as well.”

He chances a quick glance at Mark right next to him. The blond looks to the other side, seemingly disinterested, but Jinyoung wonders if he's just a little shy.

“Anyway, don't do it anymore. You're worse than my mom.”

“At least I don't try to find girlfriends for you,” Jaebum murmurs.

“What did you say?” Mark suddenly pipes up.

“Nothing!” Jackson quickly interferes. “But honestly Mark, I never once saw you without hickeys ever since you met Jinyoungie,” he cackles. Jinyoung inwardly groans. His distraction tactic might be working, but at what cost?

“So?” Mark asks flatly.

“Jinyoung is sucking this neck like a lollipop,” Jaebum laughs.

“Nobody needed that kind of detailed explanation, _Bum-Bummie_,” Jinyoung hisses through clenched teeth. He only sits at this table for two minutes but he already got what Mark was talking about. Those idiots are well on their way to ruin this evening, entirely unintentional at that.

“But it's obvious, _Jin-Jinnie_, so let me talk about the obvious things,” his best friend coos amusedly.

“Jin-Jinnie? Bum-Bummie? How much gayer do you want to get?” Jackson cackles.

“I didn't know there were nuances in being gay,” Youngjae adds laughing.

“Fifty shades of gay, babe,” Jaebum tosses in and all three of them are cracking up like maniacs.

Mark and Jinyoung only exchange an incredulous look at their friends's low level of humor. But after that a smile appears on both their faces, glad that they don't have to fight alone through this evening of looming embarrassment.

“Okay guys, how about ordering?” Jinyoung interrupts their weird laughing fit. The general idea of food and drinks immediately gets their undivided attention. The boys pick their preferred dishes and alcoholic beverages from the menu and give their orders to the waiter.

Their drinks arrive first and Jinyoung is thankful for the soothing sweetness of his colorful fruity cocktail.

“Have you heard?” Youngjae pipes up. “BamBam and Yugy are dating now, exclusively like a real couple.”

“Really? That's awesome. I'm so glad,” Jinyoung says with genuine relief. “I hope they will be happy.”

“Incredible!” Jackson chimes in. “I almost expected Bam to overlook Yugy's immense adoration for him for at least another century. That boy was so oblivious and Yugy was so desperate already.”

“Yeah, he finally started to realize, it seems,” Youngjae adds.

“Mark told him to get his shit together,” Jinyoung tosses in. “He told him to finally stop hurting Yugyeom or he would lose him someday.”

“You did?” Jackson asks stunned.

Mark only offers a tiny nod and a shrug of his shoulders.

“Ooooh so cool,” he marvels.

“Yes, my best friend is so amazing,” Youngjae cheers, loud and brightly smiling. Mark seems to become quieter the more people look at him in awe. Shy Mark definitely is one of Jinyoung's favorites, he decides. Humbleness is an attractive virtue and the way the tips of Mark's ears are turning red makes the world a better place.

“He really was!” Jinyoung elaborates excitedly. “He was talking some sense into him right after he saved me from becoming another one of BamBam's side projects.”

“What?” all the boys opposite of them question.

“I was tipsy and he tried to kiss me.”

“Woah, Mark Tuan, I never knew you were the knight in shining armor kind of guy. And also woah, Park Jinyoung, the amount of boys trying to kiss you. Impressive!” Jackson raves, much louder than necessary.

“Yeah,” Jaebum supports. “You, having all these fanboys is so wild. When did you become like this? One moment you were my little cute baby friend and next moment you have a bunch of admirers. You don't even shy away from having sex in front of me. So wild!”

“Wait... he what?” Jackson asks.

“He and Mark had sex in his room while I was sleeping in this very room,” Jaebum explains casually as if it was a regular topic of conversation.

“OH MY GOD!” Youngjae yell-laughs and bangs his fist on the table in excitement. Jinyoung takes a quick look around and confirms his assumption. Yes, they attract definitely too much attention.

Meanwhile Jackson, wide-eyed and mouth ajar, looks back and forth between Jinyoung and Mark. His head reminds Jinyoung of a ball in a never ending table tennis match.

Jinyoung glances over to Mark who only quietly shakes his head before he starts to speak. “So what if we did? It's not like you were really sleeping, Jaebum, right? It's not like you didn't enjoy what you've witnessed.”

Now Jackson's head whips around to stare at the addressed boy while the boyfriend on his other side seems to have troubles breathing in between his guffaws of laughter. “You watched them? Seriously Jaebum?”

“Yeah.”

“Was it...... hot?”

“Jackson!” Jinyoung hisses.

“What? I ask for a friend.”

“Stop!” Mark intervenes determinedly. “Yes, we had sex. Yes, Jaebum pretended to sleep but actually watched us having sex. And no, Jinyoung wasn't even aware. Yes, of course it was hot. What a dumb question, Wang. And Jae-Jae, _breathe_!” Youngjae slowly calms down and follows Mark's advice. Jackson on the other hand looks like he inwardly argues with himself to ask more questions. But Mark prevents it on time. “And I think now it's time for a change of subject. Any suggestions?”

Unfamiliar silence makes itself known at their table after the sudden request. But then there's Youngjae, who saves the situation, or so he might think.

“Isn't it funny that Jackson already slept with three out of four people here at the table?”

Now it's Jinyoung's jaw which falls open. Jackson winces. Jaebum looks like he has a hard time to process what that comment means. And from beside him Jinyoung hears a dull thud. He quickly learns that this was the noise that occurred when Mark's forehead met the tabletop. The boy seems to be entirely defeated.

“Okay..... _what_?” Jaebum finally asks. “Somebody care to explain?”

Mark straightens himself up again and heaves a deep sigh. “You really didn't tell him, Jackson?”

The addressed boy is obviously still busy with being speechless.

“Wait, when did this happen, you and Jackson?” Jaebum interrogates.

“A long time ago, babe,” Jackson now says after he somewhere found his composure again.

“A really, _really_ long time ago. We were teens and it was bad and ridiculous and no, neither of us wants to repeat it,” Mark finishes listlessly.

“Oh... okay... I guess. What an interesting evening,” Jaebum decides.

“And Jae-Jae, that change of subject.... please never do this again,” Mark pleads.

“But I thought it was interesting,” Youngjae says, naively smiling. So far Jinyoung thought Youngjae would be the most sane person in this relationship, but now he gives the title to Jaebum. Jackson never was a potential candidate for this position to begin with. “Well,” Youngjae adds, seemingly in deep thoughts. “I said three out of four people, but I actually don't know about _you._” With huge, curious eyes he stares at Jinyoung.

“NO!” Jinyoung, Mark, Jackson and Jaebum yell in unison. Youngjae flinches in surprise and several people from other tables look over to see what the fuss is all about (again).

“Okay, I think I got a very clear answer now,” the boy awkwardly chuckles.

“This evening is a disaster,” Mark mutters under his breath and runs his fingers through his styled hair. Jinyoung wants to run his own fingers through Mark's styled hair but he decides that now is not the right time.

Luckily the food finally arrives and dispels the awkwardness. Also it graces them with a few minutes of something that resembles silence.

But Jinyoung decides that it's not very tasty to eat his food while witnessing the throuple across the table flirting with each other and feeding each other with an unforeseen constancy.

“I can't stay sober. They are too gross together,” Mark whispers beside him so that only Jinyoung is able to hear him. Though the other three wouldn't have noticed anyway, since they are busy cooing at each other. Mark takes a huge gulp of his mojito before he sends a disgusted look across the table, which remains ignored.

“Same,” Jinyoung agrees quietly.

“If I would have known that it's that bad, I wouldn't have agreed on coming to... whatever this is.”

“I thought they are decent people but look what polyamory did to them,” Jinyoung snickers and finished the rest of his cocktail.

“True. All their brain cells are gone now. This weird and shameless and absolutely cringy flirting is unbearable. I'm just here to eat. Spare me the soft porn, please.”

“Second that. Hey, five bucks that Jaebum will spill some sauce on one of his boyfriends within the next three minutes. Deal?”

“You're on. I time them,” Mark agrees and fishes his phone out of his pocket. Now they try to discreetly observe Jaebum. Mark seems to take a mischievous pleasure in their little game.

“You've lost already. He's the fucking god of stains. I swear,” Jinyoung announces gleefully.

“Jaebum! I pulled that shirt fresh from the laundry!” Youngjae suddenly whines. And yes, just like Jinyoung predicted, his best friend managed to let a piece of chicken along with sauce slip from his fork at the attempt to feed it to Youngjae.

“Oh shit! Sorry, babe. Let me help you clean that up!” Jaebum leans over Jackson's lap to reach Youngjae. But despite everything Jackson inconveniently tries to keep eating, even with Jaebum in the way, who almost knocks over Jackson's drink while he searches for another clean napkin. This whole situation simply looks too funny. Again Jinyoung notices a few people looking over but thanks to the alcohol he cares less now.

“Not even two minutes. Not bad, Sugartoast.”

“You can treat me to another fruity cocktail,” Jinyoung suggests and offers a feline smile.

“I think that's the best idea I have heard today.” Mark orders more drinks for both of them. For now they try to focus on each other and slowly step up their own flirting game, even though they do it way more subtle than their catastrophic friends.

From shy smiles and brushes of hands it escalates quickly to smirks and daring stares at lips and crotches while they are sipping their drinks.

They are both tipsy and the performance in front of them is still sickeningly cute and Mark looks fucking stunning and Jinyoung is horny. So he decides that he doesn't give a fuck anymore. He slips his hand under the table and puts it on Mark's knee. Jinyoung glances at him with a suggestive smile on his lips and lightly squeezes him. Oh how he wishes Mark would wear ripped jeans now but that would be rather inappropriate in a restaurant like this. Their eyes meet when the blond looks back at him with a raised eyebrow. He's obviously trying to read Jinyoung, trying to find out what he plans. Jinyoung decides to make pretty clear what he plans.

Another smile, a more mischievous one, appears on Jinyoung's face before he bites down on his bottom lip. Slowly, he lets his palm slide up Mark's thigh. The blond's eyes are narrowing on him for a split second before realization dawns on him and he huffs a tiny laugh. Jinyoung stops on his way to let his fingers massage Mark's inner thigh. The teasing is well received. Mark swallows thickly. Jinyoung licks his lips when he sees his Adam's apple bob up and down. God, he wants to put his lips against it so badly. A flirtatious smile is offered to him, as if Mark would be daring him. And Jinyoung is ready to accept this dare.

His hand wanders further up until he meets Mark's crotch. Jinyoung shamelessly palms his dick and rubs it through his jeans with light pressure. Mark gasps at that. Jinyoung sees that he has to suppress a spontaneous moan coming up his throat. His eyes flutter shut at the sensation. Beautiful, Jinyoung thinks. Absolutely divine Mark does look with his long lashes fanning against his cheeks and his eyebrows scrunched together.

Jinyoung gives him a last good squeeze before he withdraws his hand. “I think I'll go freshen up a bit,” he whispers as he pushes his face closer to Mark. “Don't get too lonely.”

And with that Jinyoung stands up and walks towards the restroom, making sure to swing his hips.

After entering, he takes a look into the mirror. Surprisingly he still appears to be in a fairly good condition, despite feeling like a hot mess. He hopes he was clear enough. He hopes Mark understood his hints and could guess his intentions.

Jinyoung quickly checks the stalls. Luckily there's nobody except him. Also it's an advantage that they are in a comparatively nice restaurant which means that it's neither smelly nor dirty in here. So now he just positions himself in the opened door of one of the stalls and fixes the entry door with an attentive stare.

Only seconds later the door is pushed open and the prince of light enters, looking rather impatient. Maybe it's not the prince of light anymore. Maybe it's the untamed wildcat now.

His intense eyes find Jinyoung and he rushes to him in a heartbeat. Wordlessly he cups Jinyoung's face and their lips meet in an urgent kiss. Despite oxygen being a scarce good right now, touching each other like this makes Jinyoung feel like he finally can breathe freely again. Mark is his most needed drug and he's living for touching him.

Without interrupting the kiss, Mark steers him into the stall and manages to lock the door behind them with only little difficulty. The blond gently pushes him against the wall before he pulls away a few centimeters to look deep into his eyes. They are still so close that they breathe each other's air in their hasty attempts to catch their breaths.

“Finally,” Mark whispers against his lips, his blazing eyes hot enough to scorch Jinyoung's entire being. “You're so smart, Sugartoast. So smart to find ourselves a little escape.”

Jinyoung leans in a tiny bit, just so much that their lips brush against each other. “I needed to. I couldn't take it anymore.” With every word his lips lightly graze Mark's. With every second they are apart, their hunger becomes more insatiable. It's sheer exertion to be so close while not being close enough. It's bittersweet. They both enjoy the tension and excitement, savor it, take pleasure in it, until it's getting too unbearable and they lose their minds.

They come together in another fiery kiss. It's a raw and urgent kiss, a kiss without restraint, a kiss designed to satisfy the hunger in both of them. Their hands roam over each other's body, trying to reach as much as possible. Jinyoung moans into Mark's mouth when his tongue rubs against the underside of his own. Damn yes, Mark knows how to kiss him senseless and he proves it every time anew.

Eventually he faintly notices Mark's fingers working on his belt. Seconds later his pants are unzipped. The blond let his hands travel across Jinyoung's abs only briefly before they slide around his middle. Then Mark shoves his hands straight into his boxer briefs. A deep moan rips from his throat when the blond starts to roughly kneed his butt cheeks. They break the kiss again as the sensations become a bit too much to handle all at once.

“You feel so good. Every bit of you feels perfect,” Mark pants with a dangerously deep voice. He lets one of his fingers slide between Jinyoung's ass cheeks to teasingly poke his entrance. This elicits a whimper from Jinyoung and the ravenous desire to play with his favorite body part of the other as well. Without a warning he attaches his lips to Mark's beautiful neck and starts to tease the fading hickeys.

Now it's Mark who can't suppress a desperate groan coming up his throat. The way his voice resonates through the tiled room turns Jinyoung on beyond belief. And finally he gets what he had longed for all evening. His swollen lips find Mark's prominent Adam's apple. He runs his mouth over it, teasingly moving his tongue in circles before he gives it a good long suck.

“God yes! Please,” the blond moans with pleasure. This encourages Jinyoung to mark this beautiful neck even more. His teeth graze the sensitive skin while Mark uses the good hold he has on Jinyoung's plump ass to push their hips together.

“Mark, oh god _Mark_,” he whimpers into his skin.

“I beg your pardon, you wild animals, but could you at least try not to embarrass us in this semi-fancy restaurant?” It's Jackson's voice. And Jackson's voice is way too near. They immediately stop their actions while it slowly seeps in that their friend must have entered the restroom without them noticing and is now probably standing on the other side of the stall door.

“Fuck Jackson, get lost!” Mark rants with his hot raspy voice.

“I expected something filthy like that from Mark, since he's freaky and all, but not from you, Park Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung pulls a face at that and Mark smirks at him before he playfully rolls his eyes because of their grumbling friend.

“Shut the fuck up, Wang!” he tries once again.

“I'm not listening to you until you pulled your hands out of Jinyoung's pants.”

“How the fuck do you even know?” Now Mark is rather astounded, maybe even a little impressed by the intruder.

“You think you're a fucking ninja or something? I hate to break it to you, but the way you ogle Jinyoung's ass at any given opportunity is absolutely not ninja-like. And now come out of there before I get your two best friends here so they can look at you with all the disappointment in the world, you two freaks.”

“I bet Jaebum would encourage us,” Jinyoung argues playfully, but Jackson only clicks his tongue.

Mark snickers at that and he looks so adorable that Jinyoung can't help it and starts to chuckle as well.

“I give you two minutes. If you're not back at the the table by then-”

“Yes, Captain Turn Off, we will be there. Now get out,” Mark grumbles. They hear Jackson leaving the room, muttering something about horny teens under his breath.

“So annoying,” Mark murmurs and hesitantly pulls his hands out of Jinyoung's underwear.

“Well, he's your friend for much longer than he's mine. You're responsible for him.”

“You can have him. Take him as a gift. I don't need him.”

“You say that now,” Jinyoung giggles, “but I know you love him just as much as he loves you, in both your very weird ways.”

“If you say so,” Mark sighs. “But it's a shame that he interrupted.” He gently places the tips of his fingers on both of Jinyoung's cheek bones. Their gazes meet and melt into another soul-searching deepness. Tenderly the blond lets his fingers slide across his cheeks, along his jaw, down his neck and then into the collar of his shirt. There he stops abruptly and his eyes flick down to where his hands are carefully touching the silver necklace which Jinyoung wears underneath his button-up.

“You put it on,” Mark whispers in amazement.

“I told you that would, right?”

“Yeah, but I kind of.... didn't expect it.”

“You thought I was lying?”

“No! No, it's.... I just thought you might forget about it.”

“I wore it every day since you gave it to me,” Jinyoung whispers with a soft smile. He closes the little distance between them and kisses Mark's lips. It's a gentle and slow kiss, full of affection and reassurance and Mark responds in just the same way.

It's safe to say that Jinyoung was a little surprised by himself. He didn't lie when he said that he wore his new accessory every day since Mark gave it to him. And despite not being the typical jewelry guy, the change didn't cost him any effort. If anything, he felt better about himself by wearing it. Every morning before he left his room, he looked at himself in the mirror and examined proudly the way the silver chain fell over his collarbones. Only then he put his clothes on. He always wore the necklace under his tops because he didn’t want his change of style to be obvious to other people. It's his own little secret. Every day now he feels like a sneaky, little boy because nobody knows about this precious possession except himself. The token of Mark’s adoration for him is something he enjoys alone in his own little realm. It gives him a certain sense of power and confidence which he didn’t know before.

Jinyoung then pulls away and opens his eyes just to see Mark still standing there with his eyes shut. “We probably should go before Jackson comes back.”

“Yeah, just... one more time,” the blond murmurs while his fingertips still trace the necklace under Jinyoung's shirt.

Jinyoung smiles at him, well aware that he can't see it, but that doesn't matter. Once more he leans in and pecks Mark's silky bottom lip, once, twice and a third time. “Ready?” he whispers against Mark's mouth.

The blond opens his pretty doe eyes. And there's a noticeable difference. Those eyes which were the epitome of a blazing inferno, strong, determined and full of desire, only minutes ago, equal now the gentle warmth which radiates from a stove. Such softness, so much devotion in them, Jinyoung isn't only imagining it, is he?

“Yeah, ready,” Mark says in a hushed voice and offers him a smile.

They eventually leave the stall and enter the bustling restaurant again. All the intimate quietness is gone all at once and Jinyoung perceives it as rather unpleasant. He liked it more to be alone with Mark in their own little world.

“Hey Sugartoast, we had food and we had drinks and we definitely talked enough with our..uhm... _friends_. Do you think we were social enough for tonight?”

“You want to go home?” Jinyoung asks and flashes him an understanding smile. Mark nods quickly with quite some urgency visible in that simple gesture. Jinyoung snickers, “Alright, let's go then.”

They pay the bill and say goodbye to their friends. Obviously Jackson told his two boyfriends about the events in the restroom but neither seems very upset with them. Instead they are rewarded with lovely smiles.

A minute later they step out into the quiet night. All the other guests are probably also relieved that their little, loud group of chaos starts to disband now.

Without even talking about it, it's obvious for both of them that they are heading to Mark's apartment. The blond takes Jinyoung's hand in his when they walk side by side. A timid smile makes it to Jinyoung's lips as he looks down at their intertwined fingers.

“Lord, I'm so glad we made it out alive,” Mark sighs as he throws his head back to gaze into the night sky.

“Now now, it wasn't _that_ bad.”

“It was _pretty_ bad.”

“Well, yeah okay, it was kind of bad,” Jinyoung chuckles.

“Those three together, they're just like a mixture of madness,” Mark announces and pulls a funny face which makes Jinyoung laugh even more.

“They seem to be happy though.”

“They really do, right? I thought the same,” the blond admits with much more gentleness in his voice. “All of their madness and their disgusting sweetness left aside, they are handling this relationship pretty well. I'm so glad.”

“Yeah, at least we could witness this with our own eyes tonight.”

“Yes, but once is enough,” the other boy decides with a finality that doesn't leave room for discussion. “Aaah... I hate it when I can't have sex with you right on the spot.”

Jinyoung snickers at this sudden outburst of weepiness. But he also sees the perfect opportunity to ask the question which weighs on his mind for the past few days already. Now or never, Jinyoung thinks. “Is this why you don't want to go out with me anymore?”

Mark is obviously caught off guard. Jinyoung notices the way his shoulders are tensing up and the grip on his hand is tightening.

“Uhm.... no, not really. Though it is a good reason. But mostly I like to be alone with you in a quiet place instead of barely surviving in the middle of chaos with constant annoying interjections from Alvin and the Chipmunks.”

Jinyoung bursts into laughter. Mark's unashamed straightforwardness is both a curse and a blessing. “So Jackson is Alvin?”

“Damn right he is.”

“Who's Simon?”

“There's no Simon. Two Theodores instead,” Mark grumbles.

“I truly love this comparison. But I'm also relieved that this is the reason why you don't want to leave the house with me anymore.”

“Relieved?” Mark repeats and chances a worried glance at Jinyoung. “What was going on in your head?”

“I thought I might be too ugly to show around.”

“You? Too ugly? Sure, and water is too dry and the sun is too dark.”

“Oh....” Jinyoung breathes.

“You of all people shouldn't have self-esteem issues, Sugartoast. Please do me a favor. Every time you think you're not smart enough or good enough or strong enough, just touch this chain around your neck and think of me and how I believe that you're the most amazing person ever, okay?” Mark lets go of his hand and instead puts his arm around Jinyoung's waist to pull him close into his side. The blond turns his head to press a loving kiss behind his ear. “Can you do that?”

“Yeah,” Jinyoung shyly whispers. “I guess I can at least try.”

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

When Jinyoung opened his eyes next morning, Mark was already wide awake. He's used to it now, even though his long-term goal is to make Mark trust him enough so that he could sleep beside him without being worried to wake up alone. But that needs time. So for now Jinyoung is at least glad that Mark stayed in bed with him and simply played with his unruly dark mess of bed hair until he woke up as well.

Somehow Mark felt like playing the piano. He said it's sometimes like this, waking up and immediately he feels the urge to pour himself into music. So they ended up like this, Mark sitting on the piano bench in just his boxer briefs and a loose tank top, and Jinyoung sitting on a chair beside the instrument in nothing more than his own boxer briefs and with a light blanket around his shoulders.

Mark wants to play one of his favorite pieces for Jinyoung, Antonín Dvořák's Humoresque No. 7. The mostly lighthearted melody combined with Mark's simple elegance while playing makes Jinyoung's heart soar and a smile appear on his lips.

It's a perfect morning, so quiet and cozy and easy, like there aren't any problems in their lives, like they would be cut off from the outside world and all its troubles. The warm sunlight floods the room and bathes Mark in brightness, which lets him look like a perfectly divine being. His light hair gleams in this brilliancy. Every dip of his shoulders, every rise of his muscles appears ethereal in this refined play of light and shadow. If he wouldn't be head over heels in love with Mark already, this would be the exact moment when he would be unable to defend himself against his numerous charms.

The blond plays the last note and then looks up at Jinyoung with a soft smile. “How do you like it?”

“I love it,” Jinyoung croaks. “It's easy to listen to and even though I don't know anything about classical music, I still can tell that you're not only talented as heck, but also deeply in love with every single note you play.”

“Thank you, Sugartoast.” Mark reaches out and pats Jinyoung messy hair down. “Your voice suffered last night, huh? Sorry.”

“You apologize for making me scream?”

“Well, you obviously enjoyed it very much, so maybe I shouldn't?”

“Exactly. No need to apologize for anything,” Jinyoung says with a cheeky grin on his lips. Due to his recent sickness they went on sex hiatus for the time being. So the neediness and desire was great on both sides last night. To finally have Mark all over him again felt so rich and satisfying that Jinyoung nearly glows with joy today. Sure, his body has to work through its fair share of suffering now, like always when they went particularly wild. But it's a nice kind of suffering. The dull pain in his hips, or the burning sensation when his necklace slides over his bitten skin, Jinyoung can't bring himself to regret any of it. “It was out of this world, paradisian even. “Why the fuck are you so fucking perfect at this? I mean fuck, that was fucking awesome.”

Mark snickers, probably at the unhealthy amount of 'fucks' in Jinyoung's statement without even mentioning actual fucking. “I need to live up to your pet names for me as a sex demon and wildcat and all that stuff.”

“Ugh.... I think you have proven yourself several times now.”

“I just want you to know that there will be no let up in intensity and effort.”

“I don't think you have to worry about that. I know already.” Jinyoung trails his fingers along the shiny surface of the white piano when Mark suddenly grasps his hand and brings it up to his lips. He places tiny kisses across his knuckles while watching Jinyoung with his doe eyes, full of warm glitter. “Mark, can I ask you something.... probably unpleasant?”

“Try me, Sugartoast.”

“Did you ever think about moving to another apartment after the break up?”

“No, never,” he answers immediately.

“Why? Wasn't it a horrible experience to stay here with all these memories you made with him, especially in the beginning of living alone?”

“Yeah.”

“So why?”

“Well... that sounds stupid, but mostly because of practical reasons. I chose this apartment because it was a perfect fit for my piano, for my music. To start from zero and search for another apartment which would meet all the qualifications seemed pointless. And also.... he took enough away from me, I didn't want to give up on my perfect apartment as well. I didn't want him to steal this as well. I lived here even before he moved in with me. This was mine and it would stay mine. So instead of moving out, I simply erased every little trace of him in this apartment.”

“That actually sounds sensible.”

“You're surprised that I actually sound sensible for once?” Mark asks mockingly.

“No, I didn't mean it that way. I was afraid that you would stay here to... to kind of keep punishing yourself. But I'm really glad to know that you're still here because that's your way of showing defiance and spitting on this fucker's shoes.”

“That's a very free interpretation but basically it's correct,” the boy laughs. His smile is so radiant, it fits perfectly with all the brightness surrounding him. He's truly the prince of light.

“Hey Mark?”

“Hmmm?”

“Can I sit beside you? On your little... chair thingy?”

“Piano bench, you mean.”

“Yes, can I sit with you on your piano bench?”

“It will be harder for me to play properly like this.”

“I don't actually care about that.”

“Then what's the point in me playing?”

“Can we maybe just try?” Jinyoung sighs.

“Fine, but I don't want to hear complaints if I play a wrong note.”

“As if I would be able to even tell the difference,” Jinyoung chuckles. Mark scoots over a little so Jinyoung can take a seat next to him. They're so close that their bodies are pressed up against each other. To give Mark a little more space, Jinyoung tries his best to wrap himself and the blanket around Mark so that he wouldn't interfere with his arms much.

Jinyoung turns to the side and presses a sweet kiss to Mark's shoulder. “Good?” he asks when he looks up at him from under his lashes.

The blond glances at him with a dreamy smile. “I guess this works. I will play one of my self-composed pieces, if it's okay.”

“More than okay,” Jinyoung confirms with another kiss to his bare skin.

With a satisfied sigh Mark starts to play. Indeed he has trouble to deal with the lack of space but he slowly gets the hang of it. For Jinyoung it's fascinating to observe him from this perspective, to watch his fingers fly across the keys, seeing the veins on his forearms flexing. The view is as mesmerizing as the sweet melody Mark is playing. Both have a hypnotizing effect on him. Soon a deep tranquility engulfs his mind. He lets his head drop onto Mark's shoulder. There's no way he can resist. Jinyoung needs to be close and closer. He knows he makes it harder for Mark that way and he notices how his movements become slower. But the boy doesn't say anything and he also doesn't try to shake Jinyoung off. So he just continues to snuggle up to the warm boy, his prince of light, and enjoys the closeness and the calmness and safety of the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there is still some more stuff to come but since chapters for this story are rather long (you might have noticed ^^) I might be able to cover everything with two more chaps. Let's see how this turns out.


	11. Eleven

Mark said it would annoy Jinyoung to no end. Mark said it would be better if he would go home. Mark said he doesn't want to distract Jinyoung from studying. But Jinyoung insisted on staying in his apartment anyway.

He simply doesn't care about hearing the transitioning between the same chords for the hundredth time now. When Mark produced the keyboard from somewhere in this apartment and plopped down on the couch with it, Jinyoung was baffled. Mark said he uses this to practice changing chords until they would sound nice and smooth. In Jinyoung's opinion everything already sounds pretty smooth but Mark is the professional and when he says he has to work on it, Jinyoung has to believe him.

But what Mark predicted haven't come true. Jinyoung isn't annoyed in the slightest. Much more he cares about Mark's slender fingers which elegantly move across the keys. It's still as mesmerizing as it was the first time he watched him play. And it's probably the first step on his way to academic death, the way he's busy to steal glances at these sexy hands instead of focusing on his reading material. That's a pity but not something Jinyoung can change. But when he thinks about it again, Mark might have been right. Jinyoung is plenty distracted but not for the reason which Mark assumed.

Though Jinyoung is adamant about his priorities. Studying can be done later, but admiring the heart-wrenching beauty of Mark Tuan is something he only can spend limited time on.

Only when his phone starts to buzz like crazy right next to him, he's snapped out of his trance.

It only takes him a single glance at his phone's display to have his mood ruined. It's his parents' home phone number he spots and he immediately decides that he doesn't want to take the call, not right now, not with Mark right next to him. So he lets his phone do its thing and silently prays for his mom to give up on calling him quickly.

But his mom is his mom and she doesn't do things by halves. The longer the phone freaks out the more uneasiness it causes Jinyoung. Finally Mark loses his focus and with a slight frown he punishes Jinyoung's sweating existence.

“Sugartoast, make it stop.”

Without another second of hesitance he swipes across the screen to reject the call. Finally the phone is silent. But Mark now looks rather confused.

“Uhm... when I said make it stop, I actually expected you to take the call.”

“Nah.”

“That's not like you.”

“How would you know?” Jinyoung tries to weasel himself out of the situation.

“I just know,” Mark argues while he fixes Jinyoung with an intense stare as if he would try to read his thoughts. “Who was it anyway?”

“You're interested?”

“I asked, right?”

After some seconds of oppressive silence, Jinyoung eventually sighs, “My mom.”

“You rejected your mom's call? I never would have given you credit for such badassery,” Mark utters in amazement.

“I'm just.... not in the mood.” That's not even a lie.

“Sugartoast,” Mark says softly as he puts the keyboard on the coffee table in front of them. “Your anime eyes tell me there's something you hold back. What is it?”

Jinyoung once again heaves a deep sigh while he stares at his fingers holding his neglected book in his lap. If he starts this now, he has to tell Mark the whole story, the ugly truth. He knows that Mark pretty much accepted every bit of him until now, and still Jinyoung wants to let himself appear like the best boyfriend material there is. And in his opinion, homophobic parents aren't exactly an advantage to attract potential boyfriends.

“Okay, I'm worried now. Are you okay? Is it serious?” He looks up to validate Mark's statement. He truly looks worried, almost as worried as Jinyoung feels. That wasn't what he wanted at all. He never wanted to stress Mark out with his problems. But the way he anxiously observes Jinyoung's face now, convinces him that it might be better to fill Mark in about his parents' behavior.

“I'm not the biggest fan when it comes to conversations with my parents because...... because every time we speak they try to set me up with some girl. And I don't want that, for obvious reasons.”

The blond takes some seconds to process what Jinyoung just revealed about his family situation. “They don't know you're gay?”

“They do know. I came out to them when I was a teenager. They acted like they would understand but ever since, they try to make random girls tempting for me. They act as if they believe it's just a phase. Believe me, I keep reminding them that it isn't, but they always brush it aside. They still try to set me up with girls. My dad still nods at girls on the street and asks me if I don't find them pretty. Maybe they believe liking guys is a choice I made to get their attention or something.”

“Are you serious?” Mark asks in a mix of astonishment and what seems to be anger.

Jinyoung gravely nods, avoiding the other's fierce eyes.

It would have been too good to be true, if his mother would have given up after one try. But Jinyoung saw it coming that one attempt to reach him wouldn't be enough for his sedulous mom. So inevitably his phone starts to buzz again, angry and relentless. What Jinyoung didn't see coming is how Mark snatches the phone from his side and actually takes the call.

“Hi, my name is Mark,” the blond says, seemingly calm, while Jinyoung silently panics next to him.

With huge eyes and wildly gesticulating he whispers, ”What are you doing?”

Mark ignores his current panic attack and just listens to whatever it his mother has to say. “Yes, Jinyoung is here, but he's very tired. I'm the guy who has sexual intercourse with him. And honestly, I would prefer it if you wouldn't try to set him up with girls anymore. It pisses me off.”

“MARK!” Jinyoung whisper-yells. Is this what a heart attack feels like?!

The blond continues to ignore him and instead delivers an answer to whatever Jinyoung's mother just said. At least she's still alive enough to answer and not shocked to death by Mark's words, Jinyoung thinks. “No, I don't think a girl can take better care of him. I think he can take pretty good care of himself, and in case of emergency, I'm here. I'll have an eye on him and we don't need anyone else. Thank you for your concern. Also you as his parents should think about finally accepting him, including his sexual orientation, unless you want to risk losing him entirely. Have a nice day.” And with this Mark ends the call and puts his phone back down.

Jinyoung looks at him flabbergasted for at least ten seconds as he tries to understand what just happened. Then he freaks out. “Mark, are you fucking out of your mind?”

“I was just helping you.”

“Giving my parents a heart attack isn't helping. That's fucking murder!” he rants.

“What? That's what they deserve,” Mark says, still seemingly calm as he shrugs his shoulders.

“A HEART ATTACK?!” Jinyoung shrieks.

“No, but to hear the truth about their son and what they should do better as parents.”

“You're crazy!”

“They need to learn to love the real you and not some kind of fantasy version they wish you to be. It's a lesson for them.”

“This was none of your business. Not at all! You're overstepping lines here!”

“Jinyoung, those spiteful people are trying to pressure you into something you don’t want to be, something you _can't _be,” Mark argues.

“They are not spiteful,” Jinyoung whimpers. “They just want the best for me.”

“So the best for you is ignoring all your wishes?”

“Nooooo,” Jinyoung whines in desperation. “But you have to understand, they don’t see themselves as pressuring or ignorant.”

“So it was time somebody told them. Maybe they think about their approach to acceptance a little. You’re probably the best thing in their measly lives and they can’t even support you? They have you as their son, you, perfect, adorable Park Jinyoung, and they actually dare to complain? It's like winning a million bucks and then complain that it's not two million bucks. They are a freaking joke!”

The truth hurts so much. It hurts even more when Jinyoung hears what he knows for years and always blocked out, from somebody else. It hurts so much that even now he has difficulties to process.

“Just because you receive unconditional support from your family it doesn’t mean it’s the same for everyone,” he spits.

“But that’s how it’s supposed to be.”

“BUT THAT'S NOT FUCKING REALITY, MARK!” Jinyoung screams, his voice wavering.

“No surprise you keep questioning yourself if not even your parents support you. How should you be able to see what a special person you are, when they always make you feel like the way you are is wrong?!”

His tears threatened to fall during the whole discussion. Now Jinyoung feels them spilling down his cheeks. A miserable sob works itself up his throat. He buries his face in his hands in a desperate attempt to look a little less pathetic.

“Jinyoung...,” Mark says softly.

“I tried to tell them. Every single time I see them, I try to make them understand. But they are just not listening to me. They just.... they never listen,” Jinyoung snivels into his palms.

“So you just keep going back to them as if it would be fine? You let them treat you like this?”

“WHAT SHOULD I DO? THEY ARE MY _PARENTS_, DAMN IT! THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES I HAVE! WHAT SHOULD I DO IF THE PEOPLE WHO SHOULD ACCEPT ME WITH ALL STRINGS ATTACHED, SOMEHOW DON'T? WHAT THE FUCK SHOULD I DO? What.... what can I do when they don't accept me the way I am? Just... what?” he bitterly sobs as more tears fall from his lashes.

“Oh Jinyoung...,” Mark whispers. “Come here.” He tries to wrap his arms around Jinyoung's shoulders but the latter swats his hands away. He's too hurt, too confused, too ashamed. He can't be babied by Mark now, not when all those thoughts in his head are threatening to burst through his skullcap. He needs to think and he needs to get away to be able to do that. There's no chance to make some sense of the chaos in his mind while Mark looks at him with so much compassion.

“I have to go home. I... I will visit my parents tomorrow for the weekend and I try to straighten things out with them.” Jinyoung stands up abruptly, grabs his phone and rushes towards the hallway. There are footsteps audible behind him. Mark is actually following him, he concludes. But he doesn't want to be followed. He needs to be alone now.

“Jinyoung, please don't go. Jinyoung? JINYOUNG PLEASE!”

He ignores Mark's pleading and bolts out of the door. He sprints down the stairs while Mark's voice keeps ringing in his ears. How could this peaceful evening go off the rails this easily?

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

He put off spending a weekend with his parents for such a long time, it serves him right that it now happens under those messed up circumstances, Jinyoung thinks.

His parents greeted him awkwardly when he arrived on Friday evening after his courses. Jinyoung didn't know what to expect, but the sheer avoidance of any tricky topics at all, he definitely didn't see coming.

When they ate dinner together, there were many long pauses between rare instances of a few scraps of conversation. His parents asked him about university, about his courses and professors, about Jaebum. Then they watched TV. Everyone was glad that the silence was constantly dispersed that way. Jinyoung wanted to approach the issue which loomed between them like a big elephant in the room, but he didn't have the guts to do it. He expected his parents to speak up, but when the obvious problem wasn't addressed, he didn't know how he should do it. How should he disturb his parents' peace when they still weren't ready to talk about it? How could he prepare himself for the probable and long overdue rejection they would let him feel? He was still too scared and simply helpless. In the end he still was trapped in the same situation he was already trapped in for the past years. And that realization was nothing less than disheartening.

Saturday was equally tormenting. He slipped away for an hour to make the short walk over to Jaebum's home. He knew his friend wasn't at home. His weekends he now mostly spends with his boyfriends. Still Jinyoung was glad to visit his parents. And just like Jaebum hinted last time, they were overjoyed to see Jinyoung again. To spend some time with them, drinking coffee and talk leisurely with them was a blessing compared to the oppressiveness in his own family home. It turns out Jaebum told them bits and pieces about him and Mark and now they asked Jinyoung all kinds of questions, while seeming as elated about this topic as their son. His heart squeezes in his chest when he waves them goodbye and turns around to return to his parents' house.

The torture drags on for the whole day. It's like his own personal hell. Jinyoung constantly thinks about fleeing back to his dorm room, or back into Mark's arms. He's still a bit mad at the blond for causing this situation but he also understands that he meant well. He just expressed his care in this weird, very straightforward Mark-way. Also Jinyoung still has a hard time to identify what it was that hurt him so bad, the fact that Mark said what he said or the fact that what he said was absolutely true. Jinyoung would have loved to remain oblivious to certain things, but of course deep down he always knew that the way his parents handle the issue of his sexual orientation isn't ideal, to say the least.

Jinyoung almost believes that he would have to leave without having achieved anything after they have finished eating his mom's home-cooked lunch on Sunday. But in the middle of another strenuous stretch of silence, his father finally starts to address the obvious. “So..... we should talk about… the call from last Thursday, Jinyoung. The boy, we assume he's your boyfriend?”

A brave assumption, though Jinyoung can't blame them after what Mark revealed about them during the brief conversation. Still he has no idea how to answer that. “Uhm…uh... you see....”

“I won’t lie,” his mom eventually interrupts his stammering. “We were irritated and very confused after the call. We also were disappointed to a certain degree.” Jinyoung feels the guilt seep through his entire being. Basically he knows he shouldn't feel guilty. He still believes that he was the victim of injustice for the past years. It's just so much more difficult to hold onto his belief in front of his serious looking parents. “_But_…. we talked about this for a long time last Thursday and we came to the conclusion that we maybe overlooked your situation until now. We thought… it would be a phase that would pass. We thought that eventually you would reorientate yourself back to normality.”

“Would you please not call me abnormal?” Jinyoung asks quietly but firmly.

“I didn’t mean it like that, I promise. It’s just that it’s a lot to get used to for us.”

“I actually thought I gave you enough time to get used to it.”

“Yes… yes… you're right, of course. But now that you have this boy by your side, it…. became reality for us. We should have taken you seriously right from the start and we apologize, Jinyoung. We’re sorry that we didn’t give you the support which you needed from us. And we want to be better parents to you from now on.”

“R-Really?” So much understanding he never would have expected from his parents, so his surprise is justified.

“Yes,” his father confirms. “The fact that you’re so baffled just shows how much we are lacking.”

“No, it’s just that I always waited for your approval. I was telling you again and again that I’m not kidding. Only now that Mark, somebody who you don’t even know, a total stranger, said something, you start to believe the truth. That’s rather surprising and… a pity. I wish you would have listened to me, your own son, right from the start.”

“We’re sorry. It seems we needed this kind of wake-up call to reconsider our opinions,” his mom now says. There is a sadness showing on her face which Jinyoung never saw before. “Please accept our apologies. We try to be better from now on.”

“Okay,” he breathes, still very astounded. “I accept and I look forward to everything from now on.”

His parents exchange a relived look before his mother addresses him again. “Nonetheless we have to talk about the boy, Mark it was? Even though I said we needed this wake-up call, I still think that his approach was rather rude. But we said we want to be better parents so we decided to give him a chance, since we assume that he’s an important person in your life.” Jinyoung slowly nods. “We discussed the situation and came to a conclusion. We would like to meet your boyfriend.”

“W-W-What?”

“Your boyfriend, Mark, we wish you would introduce him to us. Bring him here for dinner and we promise to be fair to him. Maybe we can sort out the problems that currently exist between us. We want to do it for you, Jinyoung.”

“Uhm... yeah... sure.”

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

Later, when Jinyoung is back in his dorm building, utterly exhausted and absolutely worried, he's at least glad that he could flee from this omnipresent uneasiness which he felt in his family's home for the past two days. But as he walks towards his room, he notices a figure sitting on the floor right in front of his door. The uneasiness makes a quick comeback once he assumes that it might be Alex waiting for him. He slowly walks closer, trying to be as noiseless as possible, but the guy notices him anyway.

Immediate relief courses through him as he recognizes Mark. As soon as the blond spotted Jinyoung, he scrambles to his feet. But then nothing else happens. He wordlessly watches Jinyoung approaching instead of moving himself.

Now that he stands right in front of him, Jinyoung notices how exhausted Mark looks. The dark circles under his eyes never were this prominent. His eyes are red and his shoulders slumped.

“Hi,” Jinyoung croaks after ten seconds of awkward staring at each other.

“Hi,” comes the reply, almost as quiet as a whisper.

Jinyoung waits a few more seconds, just in case Mark planned to add something to his greeting. But no, there's only more silence following. Jinyoung just escaped a whole weekend of weird, unpleasant silence. He has no ambition to continue this now with Mark.

“What are you doing here?”

“I bought your favorite ice cream for you,” Mark answers, still very quiet, while he looks at the floor and shuffles his feet.

“Yeah? Where is it?” Jinyoung looks around for a bit but spots nothing that would resemble the typical ice cream tub he knows.

“It melted. So I threw it away, went home and made you some plum crumble pie.” He holds out a container full of the treat as a proof. He only chances a glance at Jinyoung before he looks down again. “Jackson didn't know when exactly you'd be back today.”

“Mark.... just how long do you wait in front of my door already?” he asks softly. There's no answer, only more silence as he continues to inspect the floor. “Mark?”

“Some... time.”

The last syllable is almost inaudible. The whole scene in front of him is so unusual and so heart-wrenching that Jinyoung can't hold himself back anymore. He lets his bag drop to the floor and wraps his arms around Mark in one fluent motion. His face pushed into the blond's neck, he murmurs, “I'm glad to see you.”

“You... _are_?” Even in those two quiet words, the surprise is noticeable.

“Yeah.”

“I'm sorry I made you upset,” Mark whispers into his ear. And finally his arms come up to embrace Jinyoung as well. “I just wanted to help, honestly.”

Jinyoung frees himself from the hug eventually to be able to look at the blond. “I assumed that. I just think you should help me the way I want it.”

“I know,” he mumbles and still can't manage it to make proper eye contact with Jinyoung. Just what is going on? The last time he was avoiding eye contact was in front of Alex and after Mark learned that his family dog died. “I just wanted to support you, stand by your side. I hate to see that you aren't accepted by people you love. I hate it that they can't see the beautiful person you are.”

“Mark...” Jinyoung leans in and quickly pecks his cheek. Then he walks up to his door and unlocks his room before he quickly collects his bag and the hesitating boy to take both inside.

He guides Mark to sit on the edge of his bed before he takes a seat beside him. “You're weird today. Is everything alright with you?”

“You say I'm always weird, don't you?” Mark mumbles. For the first time a tiny smile appears on his lips. “How did it go with your parents?”

No way he can tell Mark that his parents believe they're boyfriends. Also under no circumstances he can tell him that they want to meet him. That's completely against the whole giving-Mark-space concept. So he just has to be as vague as possible, a thing that seems to become his new normal.

“Fine, surprisingly. I mean, it was super awkward at first, like suffocatingly awkward. But in the end we talked and it seems like they finally try to accept me the way I am. It's a start, I guess.”

“What? Honestly?”

“Yeah, honestly,” Jinyoung assures the flabbergasted boy beside him. He takes Mark's hand into his to lift it to his lips. A tender kiss on the back of his hand, a few butterfly kisses on his knuckles, a peck on his pretty ring finger. A soft gasps escapes Mark's lips when Jinyoung looks at him from under his lashes. “So, what is up with you?”

But instead of replying to his question, Mark leans forward to kiss his lips. It's soft and full of tenderness. His free hand comes up to rest at Jinyoung's nape. As always, Jinyoung is basically unarmed when it comes to one of Mark's attacks. So his body responds to his kisses and touches immediately.

The blond lets his lips slide across his to press a soft kiss to the corner of Jinyoung's mouth. He moves down, blessing his jaw with attention. A variety of open-mouthed kisses down his neck follows. He gently untangles his hand from Jinyoung's grasp to sneak it under the hem of his shirt. The intimacy between them, the curious touches, Jinyoung is glad to feel all of it again. It hasn't been that long since he had Mark this close to him, and still he feels so hungry for his affection.

But in the back of his mind something lingers, an annoying itch which prevents him from enjoying this to the fullest. And after some mental grinding Jinyoung is able to identify what it is.

“Are you trying to distract me? Do you think I would forget that I asked you something?” Jinyoung pants. “Message for you: It's not working-aaah!” The moan came very surprising, even for himself. But what should he do when Mark rubs over his nipple, provoking him so deliberately? What else can he do except arching into his touch and using his whole body to ask for more?

It seems Jinyoung was wrong. Mark can distract him just fine.

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

“Your anime eyes have been loud for some time now, Jinyoungie. What is it that you're keeping from me but actually want to tell me?” Jackson asks while his big, shiny puppy eyes observe Jinyoung carefully.

They went out to grab something to eat before they would have to be back on campus for their afternoon courses. Only now that Jackson addressed him, Jinyoung notices that he was completely spaced out. His constant pondering once again got the better of him.

“I have a lot to think about,” he vaguely answers.

“And I bet it's about Mark.” Jackson, who sits across from him, now puts his elbows on the table and cups his own face in his hands. His cheeks are squished and his eyes are still big and beautiful. Also he looks outright like a twelve-year-old in this moment.

“Partly?”

“You better tell me, Jinyoungie. It never did any good when you tried to keep something to yourself. It will just distract you from everything else because you won't stop thinking about it unless it's out of your system. You will keep thinking about it over and over and over and over and over and over-”

“I think I got your point.”

“- and over and over and over and over again.”

“Fine,” Jinyoung sighs. “You know what happened with Mark and the call and my parents-”

“Yeah, Mark's blatant ass made your parents see that you are truly gay and not only waiting for them to find you the right girl,” Jackson casually summarizes.

“Yeah... kind of... like this. But what I didn't tell you was that they now think Mark is my boyfriend.”

“You told them he's your boyfriend?”

“No, but they kind of assumed that he is after he revealed so freely that we have sex. And I couldn't bring myself to tell them the truth because their first real impression of gay-Jinyoung would have been that he's a whore. And I really want them to think gay-Jinyoung is still a good boy, like the son they knew so far. I couldn't ruin this.”

“Okaaaay? But that's not a problem so far, right?”

“The problem comes now. They want to meet him. My parents want me to introduce my boyfriend, whom in fact I don't have.”

“Yep, that sounds like a problem,” Jackson acknowledges, nodding. “Maybe I could act as your boyfriend. It's going to be fun, Jinyoungie,” his friend suggests, beaming with joy.

“Thanks, but they expect Mark. I plan to make him my true boyfriend.... eventually. How am I gonna explain to my parents that he got a new face when we really go greet them as a couple?”

“Well the face is one thing, but I also have a lot more muscles than he does, you know? You're right, that would be some serious explaining you'd have to do there.”

“No offense, but I don't think that's what my parents would question first.”

“No?”

“No, Jackson. I think the face is a bit more noticeable,” Jinyoung says flatly.

“Maybe,” his friend admits hesitantly. “How about asking Mark to play your boyfriend?”

“I should ask Mark to act as himself?”

“Yeah, but more boyfriend-y.”

“The world would fall into chaos. There's no way in hell that this would work. Also what should I tell him that would convince him to do it? He would be suspicious right away.”

“You could lie. Just tell him that your parents only support you and your gayness, if you can show off a handsome, piano-playing boyfriend within the next 36 hours.”

“Jackson, this is not a drama plot,” Jinyoung sighs, defeated.

“Because you're not co-operating. It could work out so well.”

“No.”

“But-”

“No.”

“Fine,” Jackson mutters sulkily. “I gave it my all to deliver a good advice but I'm running out of ideas.”  
  


“Thanks. I appreciate your help a lot. Really,” Jinyoung admits with a soft smile. “But it seems not even you can dissolve this situation.”

“So what did you tell your parents?”

“I was as vague as possible to buy some time. But I know my mom, she will call me every other day from now on and ask about it.”

“Then make sure that Mark won't answer this specific call again.”

“Oh damn, that would be a nightmare.”

“Yep, better keep him away from your phone,” Jackson advises and finishes his vanilla milkshake. “Do you at least feel a bit better now after talking about it?”

“Well, I... uhm.... I guess.... I-”

“Oh.... there is more,” his friend deciphers with ease. “Just go on, Jinyoungie. Tell me.” He reaches across the table to encouragingly squeeze Jinyoung's forearm while a wide, close-lipped smile lights up the puppy face.

If Jinyoung is honest with himself, he's glad that Jackson gently urges him to spill the beans. They both know that otherwise he wouldn't stop pondering about it. He probably will keep pondering about it after telling Jackson anyway, but it always helps him somehow to put his concerns into words.

“Ever since this incident with my parents he doesn’t talk to me anymore,” Jinyoung blurts out in one quick breath of air.

“Who? Mark?”

“Yeah. He acts weird-”

“But Mark-”

“Weirder than usual.”

“Okay.”

“He acts weird since I came back from my parents and it feels like the more time we spend together, the less he talks to me.”

“He’s not that talkative anyway. You know that. In comparison to you even less.”

“Thanks for stating the obvious,” Jinyoung grumbles. “This is something completely different. Now he almost doesn’t talk at all anymore. He only smiles and nods. When he answers my questions he only says like three words and then smiles everything away. I got to know him as somebody with such strong opinions but now those are nowhere to be found. He simply agrees on everything.”

“Isn’t that nice? At least you’re not fighting anymore.” Jackson's attempt to find something positive about this situation is almost disturbing. Usually Jinyoung admires him for exactly this trait, but right now he perceives it as absolutely inappropriate.

“No, it isn’t nice at all. I want the Mark I fell in love with, not this one who's all smooth-edged.”

Jinyoung admits that Mark never was the most common person in general. But what he deemed as strange in the beginning, Jinyoung learned to not only accept but also dearly love on Mark. He loves his weirdness and his unforeseeable comments and actions. But his sudden quietness and defenseless passivity are a new level of odd. Also it's so uncharacteristically for Mark that Jinyoung can't deal with the change.

Not that he complains about a lack of affection. That's not it. Mark treats him with an adoration and care that can't be rivaled. But it irks him that his few words became even fewer for no evident reason. At this point it’s not only the very vague commitment in their relationship that concerns Jinyoung, now it's also the uneasy feeling that something has shifted. Something changed, which prompts Mark to keep his mouth shut. And the fact that Jinyoung can't wrap his head around what it is, drives him up the wall.

Every time he tries to carefully dip into the topic, Mark seems to have less and less words for him. By now, Mark doesn’t talk about any feelings or concerns anymore. For the longest time he hoped that the blond would eventually come forth and tell him his worries. Jinyoung believes he earned himself a certain amount of trust by now. But he hoped in vain. Mark kept silent. Careful questions and hints which Jinyoung dropped were ignored or simply smiled away by the other. Mark purposely evades the issue and Jinyoung can’t stand it anymore.

When he's now with Mark, he feels more like crying than like basking in his presence. He misses the boy he fell in love with so dearly that he almost can't bear to be in the same room with this silently smiling fake-Mark anymore.

“That's so strange, even for him. But does that mean you don't have sex anymore?” Jackson cautiously interrogates.

“Not at all. We have a lot of sex. But usually it was more playful because there was always this little push and pull thingy between us. But without the usual banter it's reduced to sole physicality. Don't get me wrong, it's still great sex, but without the playfulness it feels like something is missing,.... something important.”

“I'm so sorry, Jinyoungie. I wish I could help you somehow but I have no idea what could be up with him.”

“Hey, do you think _you_ can talk to Mark about it? Maybe that would help,” Jinyoung suggests.

“Brave of you to assume he would tell _me_ when he's not even telling _you_.”

“You don't think he would?”

“Nope.”

“How about trying to fuck it out of Youngjae?”

“You totally flipped when you accused Youngjae of being Mark's spy and now you request me doing the exact same thing? That's hypocrisy at its finest.”

“Does that mean you won't do it?”

“Exactly, that means I won't do it, Jinyoungie. And you can stop looking so pitiful. That won't convince me to break my principles.”

“But... I don't look like this on purpose,” Jinyoung mumbles.

“Oh fuck, I'm sorry. Oh damn, my poor Jinyoungie.” Jackson immediately goes to worry level 100% when he realizes just how much Jinyoung is suffering in the current situation. The puppy boy grabs Jinyoung's hands and starts to squeeze them reassuringly. “I've been thinking, Jinyoungie. Mark is in general a pretty relaxed person. There are only few people who he would stand up and fight tooth and nail for. There us definitely Youngjae, probably Yugy, and now there is also you. The fact that he was ready to fight your own parents says a lot, don't you think?”

“Maybe,” Jinyoung murmurs with too much uncertainty.

“So whatever is up with him, it doesn't mean that he doesn't want you. I think you play a meaningful role in his current life and the last thing he wants, is to lose you.”

“But he should just talk to me. No matter what it is, I'm sure we could work it out. But right now I feel more excluded than ever before. Maybe it's not his intention to push me away, but it is what happens right now. I can't take this any longer.”

“This boy is digging his own grave and he probably doesn't even realize it,” Jackson sighs as he rubs soothing circles into the back of Jinyoung's hands.

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

“Hey Mark?”

“Hmmm?”

“What do we want to eat for dinner? Any ideas?”

“You choose. We get what you want.”

“But I don't know what I want.”

“Take your time to decide,” the blond says, smiling softly before he continues reading his newly bought copy of Maurice Ravel's biography.

Jinyoung lets out a noticeable sigh. This is how it's going for the past two weeks. He still tries though. He still tries to get something out of Mark. Something more. Something of the old Mark, who he misses so much.

“What about pizza?”

“Great choice,” Mark confirms with another smile.

“What kind of pizza would you like today?”

“I don't care. You choose.”

Jinyoung sighs again. He can't focus on the novel in his hands. He didn't manage to read an entire paragraph all evening without his thoughts straying to the current situation with Mark. He can't stop stealing glances at him. The beautiful blond boy on the other end of the couch, Jinyoung should be glad to be able to spend so much time with him. But on the other hand, how should he be glad when Mark seems like a total stranger these days?

“Hey Mark?” he tries anew. “I'm thinking about getting a pet.”

“Oh, nice.”

“Maybe a little kitten or...well... maybe I should start with something that is better suited for a pet beginner. A hamster or anything.”

“Sounds great.”

“But pets are not even allowed in my dorm.”

“That's a pity.”

That's a pity, he said. It's all. No opinion. No interrogation how Jinyoung got the conclusion of wanting to raise a pet so suddenly. Basically Jinyoung never really thought about raising a pet. He can barely take care of himself. But he wanted to try getting another reaction out of Mark. Something else than just a nod, a smile or a shrug. He failed.

“Maybe I should really learn how to cook.”

“That's a good idea.”

“But who will teach me?”

A shrug.

“Or maybe I have so much natural talent for cooking that I don't need anyone to teach me. Maybe I'll be able to magically pull off a three-course meal without even trying hard.”

A smile. A nod. “Yeah, try it.”

Jinyoung is sick of this. Who is this guy? He can't offer Mark any more opportunities to make fun of him, tell him how he thinks Jinyoung would do as a cooking talent (which he himself knows he's not), or ask him why he even wants to learn how to cook. Jinyoung is devastated. Mark was always interested in every detail about him. His questions about Jinyoung's motivations and motives were always an essential part of the process to get closer. And now nothing. Silence.

Mark's attention is focused on his book again and Jinyoung is still frustrated, still confused and insecure and angry. Angry, because Mark doesn't trust him enough to tell him what's going on.

Usually quietness worked pretty well between them. They had those phases where they could be next to each other without speaking a single word. It actually felt comfortable. But now the silence is blaring so loud, drowning out every other noise. Jinyoung can't take it any longer.

“Hey Mark? I know I asked you this a couple of times already, but are you okay?”

“Hmmm?” the blond hums without looking up from the page he's currently focusing on. Though he stopped reading, Jinyoung observed. Mark only stares down the small black letters now.

“Are you doing okay?”

“Sure,” he quickly answers. He chances just a glance at Jinyoung before he shifts his attention back to the book.

Silence once again. The anger starts to rise up in Jinyoung. This time he won't be fobbed off with empty words.

“Don't you wonder why I'm asking you that a lot lately?” He keeps prodding while he still manages to contain his jumble of emotions.

“A bit.... maybe.”

“Then why don't you say so?”

Now Mark keeps his head up and at least looks in the general direction of Jinyoung. But instead of words, there's only another shrug.

“Mark,” Jinyoung utters, his voice trembling with exasperation. “We really need to talk. I need _you_ to talk to me.”

“I don't talk much. You know that,” he almost whispers.

“I know, Mark. I know. _Damn!_ But that's the point! That's why I'm so worried! I know you never blabber the whole day but usually you'd at least say basic things. Now you say like 12 words to me per day, tops.”

Silence. The blond seems rather shell-shocked than motivated to actually respond to Jinyoung's request.

“Mark, say something!” he demands. He's outright desperate by now.

“Sorry I'm not entertaining enough,” Mark mumbles and looks at the floor.

“It's not about that!” Jinyoung cries out. “We both know that I'm talking enough to entertain a whole country over the period of several human lifespans.” There appears a small smile on Mark's lips. At least he's properly listening, Jinyoung thinks. Though he's always properly listening. The younger really can't complain about that. “Mark, it's noticeable that you talk much less these days and I'm wondering, if everything is okay with you. Or..... or if I perhaps did something wrong.”

“_You_?” The smile slips from his lips immediately. He seems seriously confused all of the sudden.

“Yes, maybe it's my fault that you don't want to talk to me. Maybe I messed up and didn't even notice. Usually you would tell me but now... you won't give me anything that could bring the light of realization.”

“Of all people Jinyoung, you didn't do _anything_ wrong.”

“Then what is it? What prevents you from talking? What can I do to make it better?”

There's a long pause but Jinyoung sees on Mark's face that the wheels in his head are turning at full speed in order to produce an answer. So he waits, as patiently as his current uneasiness allows him to. Jinyoung stares at him with such intensity that he thinks he must be able to read Mark's thoughts soon. But unfortunately he can't read anything, neither his mind nor his facial expression.

And after what felt like an eternity, which drove Jinyoung to the edge of his sanity, Mark only offers another shrug and looks down again.

Jinyoung is disappointed to say the least. He hoped for a breakthrough, but reality is that he achieved nothing. The boy shuts him out as he did it for the past two weeks already. It seems there is nothing he can do about it. Where is all the confidence he admired so much in Mark? Where is all the bluntness which put Jinyoung off too many times by now? Where is the boy he fell for? Because here in his room only sits the careful, evasive excuse of him.

“Mark,” Jinyoung tries one last time, urging himself to push his emotional outburst back down, which threatens to overwhelm him. “You never were much of a talker, I know that, but you always said what needed to be said. You always voiced out your opinion. You always disagreed with me when you felt it was right to disagree, when you thought my perspective wasn't broad enough or my approach on certain issues not open-minded enough. I know we fought a lot like this. But now, now that you don't talk to me at all and just happily nod along with anything I say or do, it feels so fake. This is not you. This is not.... _us_. This is not how we work,” Jinyoung says beseechingly. A shuddering breath escapes his lips. His heart is pounding strongly in his chest and his hands start to sweat. He knows he can't endure this for much longer. This is the last chance. And he's scared to the core of what happens if Mark doesn't take it. “I miss the Mark who trusts me enough to let me in on his worries. I miss the old Mark who clearly tells me when he thinks I'm wrong and who isn't afraid of disagreeing with anything I say. I know it was exhausting at times but.... I miss the real you.”

Jinyoung's eyes are brimming with tears already and he knows Mark sees it. The way he stares at him, so blunt and searching, Jinyoung knows he sees every little emotion on his face. This is the last chance. This is his last glimmer of hope. Everything depends on how Mark will react now.

And then he shrugs and avoids Jinyoung's eyes once again. A let-down never hurt so much.

A mix of a bitter sigh and a sob works its way up Jinyoung's throat. The first plump tear dizzily tumbles down his cheek. “You know Mark, maybe... maybe we aren't meant to be in.... this weird thing we are stuck here,” he says in a quivering voice. “Maybe we aren't meant to be at all. We should give this a serious thought and maybe...... we should look for people who are a better match for each of us.”

After one last glance at a stone-still Mark, Jinyoung stands up and slowly crosses the room to reach the hallway. Out of the corner of his eye he sees that Mark isn't even moving. It hurt like hell to speak the last few sentences. It's true physical pain, as if his heart is constricted with a scorching hot wire rope.

Maybe his hope was unreasonable from the start. Maybe it blinded him too much, deluded him into thinking that Mark would break his own principles to get serious with him. He feels so stupid suddenly, stupid and hopeless.

He puts on his shoes almost in slow motion. Jinyoung obviously has a hard time to give up hoping. But he doesn't hear a single noise coming from the living room. No steps. Mark is also not calling after him. Nothing. Funny, he thinks, how they are parting ways in a way that resembles a fight and for the first time he doesn't angrily stomp out of Mark's apartment. But that's also what makes it so much scarier. Maybe that was it, he suddenly realizes. Maybe this was the last time he ever saw this apartment. Maybe that was the last time he ever saw Mark. The thought hurts. Naturally tears start to fall freely as he pulls the door shut behind himself.

The only noises in the stairwell are Jinyoung's footsteps and his trembling sobs. It's hard to understand what is happening right now. It hurts too much to even perceive it all at once. He never would have guessed that he would be the one walking away from Mark, and now that it's happening it feels surreal and in a way even wrong. But staying with this fake Mark also would feel wrong. He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know what he's doing right at this moment. Why is everything always so damn confusing? Why is life never easy and crystal-clear? Why must everything always hurt?

Jinyoung climbed down the last flight of stairs and now stands in front of the entrance door. One more move and he's out of Mark's life. Just this one door separates his life with Mark from his life without Mark. He takes a deep breath and reaches for the door handle. But he immediately freezes when he suddenly hears a ruckus from above.

It sounds like a door is thrown open so forcefully that it slams into the wall. Jinyoung whirls around and squints upwards but of course isn't able to see anything yet. So he waits and listens to rumbling footsteps hurrying down the steps above him. Jinyoung admits that the threatening noise even has the potential to scare him, if it wouldn't be for the demanding voice which he missed so much. “JINYOUNG! STOP!”

And finally Mark comes around the last bend of the stairs and flies down the few remaining steps. He comes to a halt in front of Jinyoung. His breathing sounds heavy, his eyes gleam with intensity. There are so many different emotions flashing in them that Jinyoung can't latch onto a single one of them.

“Mark?” Jinyoung carefully asks.

The blond comes closer until there's barely space between them. He quickly wipes the tears from Jinyoung's face with his thumbs. And then there's a last deep look into his eyes before Mark bends down to hoist Jinyoung's body over his shoulder.

The surprised “AAHHH” which Jinyoung exclaims makes clear that he didn't see it coming at all. Mark turns around while he's holding Jinyoung's legs against his chest in a firm grip with one arm and his hips with the other. Jinyoung's upper body dangles down his back.

“Mark, what the heck are you doing?”

There's no answer. He only hears the labored breathing as Mark struggles to haul Jinyoung back up the stairs.

Jinyoung admits, the situation really feels odd. Yes, Mark most probably is stronger than him, but it's a fact that Jinyoung is overall bigger. So if he would seriously try to put up a fight, Mark wouldn't be able to continue holding him firm like this. But Jinyoung doesn't have a single reason to make a fuss. For one thing he would be afraid that Mark would lose his balance and send them both tumbling down the stairs, and for another thing he actually is relieved that Mark ran after him. He finally got a reaction out of him that isn't a nod, a smile or a shrug and Jinyoung counts that as a success. He doesn't know yet what will happen when they are back in Mark's apartment but he's overjoyed that he doesn't have to say goodbye to him yet. Also right now he has a nice view of Mark's steadily working butt muscles. He knows it's inappropriate in a situation like this but he doesn't have it in him to feel guilty about it.

The tension in the air hits him all too soon again when Mark puts him back on the floor inside his apartment and shuts the door. Jinyoung awkwardly shuffles around in the hallway before Mark takes hold of his wrist to guide him back into the living room. He steers him towards the couch but Jinyoung stops in his tracks and shakes Mark's hand off.

“I don't want to sit. I want to know what is going on here. What did you drag me back in here for?”

But to his dismay, Mark still doesn't talk. Instead he stares at him. At least he isn't avoiding eye contact now but still, Jinyoung needs some kind of vocal explanation.

“You can't hold me captive, Mark.”

The blond makes two quick steps and is on Jinyoung faster than he can even react. He kisses Jinyoung's lips. One hand comes up to hold his hip and press Jinyoung closer, the other hand is already busy to find its way under his t-shirt.

No, this isn't what Jinyoung needs right now. As much as he loves his physical closeness, this isn't helping right now. He pushes Mark away with so much force that he stumbles and barely can keep himself on his feet. Mark looks confused and borderline desperate when he makes eye contact with Jinyoung the next time. He gnaws on his bottom lip, his hands twitching slightly after Jinyoung robbed them of their mission.

“And this doesn't work either. Not anymore. You think you can distract me with sex every time? No, because sex is nice and everything but it's no real basis for.... for any kind of.....” Jinyoung wants to use the word relationship but he's still so afraid. “It's no basis for being together in any way.”

“Jinyoung... I......”

“What?”

No words are coming from Mark, again. He looks broken, like he wants to talk but something holds him back, like somebody ripped out his vocal chords and now he doesn't know how to explain himself anymore apart from this hurt look in his eyes.

“You either talk to me or let me get out of here.”

No words.

“Fine, I'm going.”

“WAIT! Wait.... damn... wait,” Mark begs. The sudden scream and the quiver in his voice let Jinyoung freeze. Mark's head is lowered, his bangs falling across his forehead and into his eyes so Jinyoung can't see them. Mark's whole body is shaking. The only noise in the room is his fast, irregular breathing. Jinyoung only stares at him, still paralyzed.

“Mark?” he carefully asks.

And then this usually confident, upfront boy slowly sinks to his knees in front of him, shivering and sniveling. Jinyoung watches it happen with his eyes wide open and mouth agape. It feels like slow motion. Mark's gaze is still pinned to the floor, not daring to look up at Jinyoung. The latter has no idea what to do. Should he still leave? Or should he wait until Mark calmed down?

But before he is able to make a decision, Mark finally speaks. “I don't know how to make people stay.” His voice is feeble, a far cry from the quick-witted Mark he knows.

“What.... what do you mean?”

He doesn't respond immediately. He takes a deep breath first, tries to control his voice and body before he finally looks up. His eyes are full of doubts and despair as tears well up in them. It breaks Jinyoung's heart for the umpteenth time since he met the other.

“I want to make you stay, but I don't know how. I can't watch you walking out of my life, but I don't know how to keep you _in my life_ either. I want you to be in love with me, like I am in love with you. But you're gorgeous and wonderful and you deserve so much more. I'm this selfish loser who tries to keep you by his side even though you probably don't belong there.”

“W-W-What did you say?” Jinyoung's heart threatens to jump out of his throat, so forcefully it rebels inside of him. Did he really hear this correctly?

“I'm a selfish loser who doesn't deserve you?” Mark repeats in an adorable tiny voice.

“No! No no no, not that!” Jinyoung blurts out and quickly drops to his knees as well. The short distance to the now slightly confused looking Mark, he covers by knee-walking. He puts his hands on Mark's shoulders, trying not to squish him to pulp in all his excitement. “I mean the part about being in love with me.”

“You.... basically just said it.”

“Repeat it, Mark.”

“But-”

“Mark, you don't know how long I waited to hear this. So _please_, repeat it.” Now he squishes his shoulders more than he initially wanted, not in excitement but with impatience.

“You.... you waited for it?” Mark's eyes are growing big and curious as he tilts his head to the side, only mere centimeters away from Jinyoung's face.

“Re-fucking-peat it!” he barks.

“Okay okay. I love you, Jinyoung. I know I said I don't want to fall in love anymore but... it's impossible as long as you exist in this world. I love you and I am so fucking afraid of what you will say now. Don't just leave, please.”

Jinyoung slumps down a little. The relief is just too great to maintain body tension. “You big dum-dum, I love you, too. I love you for so long already, I almost gave up hope.”

“Y-Yes?”

The explosion of dancing glitter in Mark's eyes is something Jinyoung never saw before and it's probably a sight he won't ever forget. But instead of answering, he leans in and gently kisses Mark's slightly opened mouth. After some moments, which Mark probably needed to stomach the surprise, he responses in a very gentle way. The kiss only lasts a few seconds. Then Jinyoung notices how Mark's lips curl into a smile, so he pulls away to look at it.

“I can't believe you're in love with me,” Mark whispers with amazement plastered all over his face.

“Well, I am. A lot. More than words can express.” The eye contact they share carries not only a great realization but also reassurance. Finally their roaring minds can calm down. Finally they learn that they're meant to be after all. Finally it's revealed that the other wants this just as much as. They came a long way, so naturally they give each other the time to perceive everything and revel in the joy of the moment. Still on his knees Jinyoung slides a few centimeters closer to Mark and puts his arms around him while he rests his head on his shoulder. Mark returns the hug, and for a little eternity they are the only truth that exists in the world.

“But why did _you_ never say anything?” Jinyoung eventually mumbles into Mark's ear. They break off the hug and sink down and sit on their heels.

“Well... I.... I obviously had difficulties to label our... relationship as that,” Mark stammers, trying to find the best words to explain himself. “I couldn't put it into words. I was too scared. But I tried to get my intentions and feelings across by actions. And you didn't notice that?”

“How should I have known? I repeat, you never said anything.”

“I thought you would read my actions and get the message.”

“Sorry, I only understand speech and not some weird vampire telepathy,” Jinyoung fusses. “And since when translates 'I fuck you hard against the wall' to 'I deeply care about you and love you'? I loved you for so long but I never knew you would reciprocate my feelings.”

“Oh...... I really believed you knew. I assumed you knew how I felt, but.... didn't want me. Wait, then why did you come back again and again, when you thought I wouldn't reciprocate your feelings?”

“That's because I have no dignity left when it comes to you. I'm weak and I am very much infatuated and am a sucker for getting fucked very good. Also at one point, very early after I met you, I was convinced that I was addicted to you. Do you have any more questions?”

“Yeah, about a million more, but Sugartoast?”

“What?”

“I deeply care about you and love you.” Now all wind is taken out of Jinyoung's sails and instead of answering anything he just blushes madly. “You're cute, Sugartoast.” Mark leans in and presses a tiny kiss to his nose. “But can we please get up before we talk more? My legs are numb. One more minute and they will just fall off.”

“Yes,” Jinyoung chuckles and gets to his feet with difficulty, only to pull Mark up with even more difficulty. Mark stumbles into him and Jinyoung gladly wraps his arms around his middle to steady him.

“Sorry,” Mark shyly mumbles into his ear.

“Don't be. I'll always be here from now on, no matter if you walk, stumble or fall.”

Now it's Mark who averts his eyes with rose-tinted cheeks. Jinyoung also finds it adorable but there is no need to comment on it. Instead they walk over to the couch and take a seat close to each other. That's the same couch where only half an hour ago Jinyoung thought his time with Mark would come to a sorrowful end. And now the handsome boy sits next to him, with his honest smile and his voice newly recovered. Life is crazy.

“So,” Jinyoung starts carefully. “I just assured you that I had no dignity left. I basically lay my heart at your feet. The question is, why didn't _you_ know I was a total goner for you?”

“You didn't say anything either,” Mark quips and sticks out his tongue as Jinyoung slaps his shoulder.

“I want honesty now. No more secrets, please.”

“Alright alright, no more secrets,” Mark tries to appease him, laughing before he continues speaking in a more serious way. “Well, there were several reasons. I was doubting a lot. I'm an insecure mess when it comes to relationships, at least since the thing with Junha happened. And after my idiot self jumped the gun and so cockily announced to never want to have a relationship again, you still stayed with me. So I was wondering why. Naturally I assumed you would be the one not interested in a relationship with me. I thought you would be satisfied with our casual thing.”

Jinyoung snorts. “No sorry, I was interested in a relationship very much for quite some time. But I stayed even after your no-relationship statement because, I repeat, I apparently had no dignity left.”

“Don't say this.”

“Honestly, I just kept hoping and hoping like this pathetic little wuss. I couldn't walk away from you. I just couldn't. Our magnetism kept me close to you. But I also couldn't confess to you because I was sure about earning myself a proper rejection and that would have killed me.”

“I'm sorry I put you through so much, Sugartoast.” Mark presses a quick kiss to his cheek before he continues. “But I came to you when I needed support after Giovanni's death just to find you with this Alex guy, who obviously wanted to bang you. Next thing I knew was you accusing me of going around, fucking random bartenders. And all that while you acted like you would only stay with me because of the sex and made not any effort to learn anything about me as a person. Then this Alex guy, who obviously still wanted to bang you, rubbed in my face that he kissed you _again_. No offense, but all that doesn't really scream 'I'm so in love with you' either. Every time I was getting my hopes up, you put me in my place and it was a crushing disappointment. I felt like an idiot and it hurt. I was scared that you could hurt me even worse than Junha did.”

“Oh... when you explain it like this, your side of the story even makes sense,” Jinyoung points out, baffled.

“Yeah, I make sense for a change,” Mark scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Sugartoast, you came into my life as such a bright phenomenon-”

“_Me_?” Jinyoung squeaks in bewilderment.

“Yes, _you_. You have obviously no idea what you can do for others, or only for me, I don't know. My judgment regarding you might be a bit clouded. But for me, you are perfect. I wanted you to be mine, but I was convinced that wasn't what you wanted. I knew that you cared for me to some extent, but I thought there was a limit to that. I thought a relationship with someone as flawed as me, would be too much to ask for. I thought you wanted the whole world, while the only thing I wanted was you. Happiness seemed so unobtainable.”

Jinyoung's mind runs at high-speed. He has a hard time to process Mark's side of the story. After only being aware of his own perspective for so long, he was completely convinced that he was in the right, and Mark was either not interested, ignorant or a total ass. Now that he learns about Mark's perspective it's all a bit overwhelming. “That's...... so unfair. You said into my face you didn't want a relationship and now you make it sound like it was my fault that we needed so long to come clean about our feelings,” he eventually whines, after he probably looked like a dumb monkey for the last minute during his thinking process.

“Sorry,” Mark chuckles and laces their fingers together. “That wasn't my intention. I know that I sent you some wrong signals. But I only realized the full extent of my feelings for you after I told you about my past and after I said this no-relationship stuff. Also there was still Alex, this little shit, and the fact that you made out with him-”

“Kissed him,” Jinyoung corrects.

“Oh that makes it better,” Mark deadpans. “Also he still had daily access to you while I could only see you now and then. That annoyed me. I wanted to throw him out of several windows in the past months.” Jinyoung giggles at that. To imagine that sex demon Mark Tuan was officially jealous pleases him more than it should. “Good that you enjoy this, Sugartoast,” Mark huffs. “I was so confused all of the time.”

“What the heck, _you _were confused? You dashed into my life and did nothing but confuse me ever since! Tell me how_ I_ was the one who confused _you_!”

“Well, there was this whole Alex thing-”

“That's getting old now. Get over it,” Jinyoung mumbles and flashes a pout to make sure Mark won't get mad. And it works. Instead Mark leans in and kisses his pout away. If this pout thingy will keep working smoothly like that in the future, Jinyoung will be the happiest guy ever.

“Never losing your sass, huh Sugartoast? That's good. Never change that about you.” The soft smile and the sweet words and the little squeeze of Mark's hand almost reduces Jinyoung to a puddle of feelings. Damn. “But let me explain a bit more. We don't have secrets anymore, right?”

“Right, no secrets. Tell me everything,” Jinyoung blurts out eagerly. Mark snickers adorably and uses his free hand to pat Jinyoung's head.

“Back when I met you in the club for the first time, it wasn’t my intention to take somebody home. It wasn't even my intention to talk to anybody at all, except for Bam maybe. But this little traitor just left me hanging and I ended up all alone on my first evening completely exposed to the public again. Anyway, the fact that I met Jackson there for the first time after this Junha-disaster, already freaked me out a bit. I wasn't prepared for that.”

“You seemed pretty cool in my opinion.”

“But in my head there were sirens going off the whole time. But of course nothing bad happened. Jackson is Jackson and he's never a threat and also a person who never bears any grudges. But what truly plunged me into confusion was that he introduced his not only insanely hot, but also ridiculously cute college friend to me. At the risk of sounding incredibly cheesy, the first time I laid my eyes on you, something happened with me. As I said, the last thing I planned this evening was some kind of one-night stand. But when I met you I couldn’t help it.”

To hear that Mark was this affected by him from the first minute, is music to Jinyoung's ears. He never would have guessed. Jinyoung really digs this new no-secrets concept between them. Finally his wishes come true and he learns what goes on in Mark's head. It feels like for the first time he sees the full person, like he finally comprehends Mark entirely.

“If it helps, it's probably no secret, but I was very attracted to you as well, especially to your neck. I still deem it the prettiest neck I ever saw.”

“That's really no secret,” Mark laughs. “It probably never will exist without hickeys from now on, but I'm fine with that.”

“Good, because that's non-negotiable.” Jinyoung offers a sassy smirk and Mark obviously feels the need to kiss that one away as well. Jinyoung isn't complaining.

“So as we both know, it never remained a one-night stand. It became much more,” Mark continues his explanation while Jinyoung listens carefully, trying very hard not to be distracted by the way his pretty lips form the words or by how beautifully raspy his voice sounds. “At first I didn't think much about it. I was just happy every time I met you, after all we were awesome together in bed and you were cute and warm. But way too soon something sneaked in, a certain form of attachment and then I started to freak out. I tried to push you away a bit so that I would know that I still can live fine without you. But there was also this part of me which absolutely didn't want to push you away. On the contrary, this part wanted to pull you closer and closer until nobody would have known anymore where you end and I begin. I shifted between these contradictions all of the time so I acted a bit crazy occasionally. I am very sorry. But there was this worst case scenario in my head, always showing me that you would walk away and break my heart right after I let myself revel entirely in my feelings for you. I was so damn scared to get hurt. I couldn't think straight.”

Now it's Jinyoung's turn to kiss him better. He leans in and pecks his jaw tenderly.

“At first I thought you were just a little distraction, Sugartoast. A nice escape from reality. But I learned quickly. I learned that _you are_ my reality. You're my whole future.”

And now Jinyoung jumps right in and involves Mark in a whole grown-up kiss, including licking lips, nibbling and playing with his tongue. Jinyoung realizes that apparently he loves every single thought in Mark's head and now he regrets it even more that they were kept from him for so long. So many words and emotions and they were all for him. Mark has them all for Jinyoung alone and nobody else. Now Jinyoung feels special.

Eventually he pulls away and enjoys watching how Mark's pretty doe eyes open in slow motion, only to blink at him adorably cute afterwards.

“I have more questions. Can I...?”

“Yes, of course.”

“The past two weeks almost killed me, Mark. Why... why did you stop talking to me? What was going on?”

“I thought I better say nothing than say something wrong.”

“Something wrong? Like insulting me? What do you mean?”

“Like....... like last time when I spoke to your mom on the phone. I don't want to say something wrong and make you run away again.”

Jinyoung never was so baffled in his entire life. He's almost speechless. But he's Jinyoung so 'almost' hardly counts.

“But... I wouldn't. I mean, I'm here _now_, right?”

“Yes, but I didn't want to risk anything. I don't know how to make people stay, I told you. Junha already bolted out of my life and I couldn't wrap my head fully around what happened. But the thought that _you_ could leave me.... I couldn't handle that. No way I could survive that. So I thought I better play it safe. I know I fucked up this thing with your parents. And now I just try to not fuck up again and give you a reason to leave me. I try so hard but.... it puts so much pressure on me. I try and try and try and I still think I will ruin everything in the end and I will hurt you and you will realize that you're better off without me.”

“Mark,” Jinyoung sighs. “I don't want you to try so hard. And I don't want you to feel so much pressure. There's absolutely no need for it. This isn't supposed to be work or stressful for you. The only thing I need you to do, is talking to me. Let me in on what you're thinking about. Don't try to fight for us on your own. We can do this together. You just have to let me know. And especially this relationship, you think you can protect it by yourself? No way! You might be a wildcat and I'm only a sugartoast, but this relationship belongs to both of us. The way it goes is not exclusively your responsibility. Just talk to me from now on. Please.”

Mark slowly nods while he looks at him with so much love and appreciation in his eyes, that Jinyoung once again feels close to melting. Also he spots a stray tear rolling down Mark's cheek, so he quickly does the only sensible thing: he kisses him again.

The kiss they share is long and deep, but Jinyoung pays attention to the intensity, careful that it won't get too heated. He has more questions he wants answers to. So when he pulls away now, he enjoys the smile on Mark's slightly swollen lips and tries not to think about how these lips would around his dick.

“I was so damn afraid, Sugartoast. After you stormed out of here after the phone call, I was scared shitless that you wouldn't ever talk to me again, that I lost you completely, that I finally fucked it all up.”

“But see what happened instead, I'm back here in your arms and my parents are now kind of okay with me being gay. It's still a long way for them though. Don't expect too much when you meet them.”

“When I... what?”

“Oh I forgot to tell you, after the phone call they kind of assumed you were my boyfriend and I didn't want them to think their only son is a slut, so I didn't correct their mistake. And well, they really want to meet my boyfriend. Yay,” Jinyoung mini-cheers in the hope of convincing Mark that this is something worthy to cheer about. But he still looks rather disturbed.

“Holy shit.”

“You know, my parents and I come as package. I can't give them up for adoption.”

“Yeah,” Mark snickers. “I know. It will be fine. We can do this.... I guess.”

“Sure we can,” Jinyoung cheers again and beams at Mark.

“Hey.... so do you really want to raise a pet and learn how to cook?”

“Huh?”

“You mentioned it earlier.”

“Hell no. I made this up to get some kind of reaction. But Señor Smile & Nod was not giving me what I wanted.”

“Sugartoast, you're unbelievable,” Mark desperately laughs and rubs his temple with his free hand.

“In a good way?”

“In the best way.”

“Awesome, so it won't annoy you that I have another question, right? The question of all questions. The mega finale question.”

“Uhm... o... kay?” Mark looks slightly alarmed but they said no secrets and Jinyoung will make good use of this new agreement.

“What is the unicorn expression all about?”

“The what?”

“Every time when I thought we had some kind of special moment you suddenly looked at me like... like you would mourn or something.”

“Oh... that...” It seems to dawn on Mark easily what Jinyoung is referring to.

“I called it unicorn expression.”

“W-Why?”

“It's like you saw a unicorn and would actually be too fascinated to look away but the magic of the unicorn would hurt you physically or something. That was what I thought when I saw it the first time.”

“Wow, you really have a lot of imagination. That's astounding and.... adorable... and a bit weird, but mostly adorable.”

“Thank you. I don't want to see it ever again, by the way.”

“You won't.”

“So explain to me.”

“Yes, of course. I'm sorry for this. I hoped you wouldn't notice that much. But please know that what I showed on the outside wasn't half as raging as what happened inside of me. It was just.... in these moments I felt myself falling for you. It was a powerful and warm feeling, it swept me off my feet and took me by surprise, and on the other hand it scared the shit out of me to fall in love again. So every time you saw me doing this, I tried to fight it. I tried to not fall for you with all my strength. All the time while getting over Junha, I told myself that I won't fall for somebody ever again. Like a mantra I repeated it to myself, day in and day out. I believed it. I was convinced of it. But then.... suddenly_ you_ appeared and from day to day you made it more impossible to stick to it. All of this time, I tried so hard not to fall for you, but I also didn’t want you to leave me. I just wanted you to stay, to not look at anybody else, and to not break my heart.”

Jinyoung listens carefully. Finally everything makes sense. The last puzzle piece is there and it completes the whole picture. “Oh... okay..... but.... for so long already?”

“What can I say? You're irresistible, Sugartoast. You used the word magnetism earlier. I think we're exactly that. We are magnetic. You draw me in and I can't get away from you even if I'd try.”

“I like this. But we're also wondrous. Don't forget that.”

“I never would. Magnetic and wondrous. That makes us pretty unique. I'm proud of that,” Mark quips and pokes Jinyoung's cheek.

“Me too. Uhm... one last question?”

“I feel like I'm a candidate in some emotional quiz show, but I slowly get the hang of it. Keep it coming, Sugartoast.”

“Fine,” Jinyoung snickers. ”Why didn't you want to go out with me?”

“Didn't I answer that already?”

“Was that the truth?”

“Partially?”

“And the other part?”

“Alright,” Mark sighs. “This one was stupid, I admit it. But now it's too late, you can't leave me because I'm a pathetic loser, okay?”

“I wouldn't! You'll forever stay _my_ pathetic loser.”

“Your way of providing encouragement is truly exceptional.”

“Thank you, now answer.”

“I didn't know the emotional quiz show has a time limit for answering.”

“It doesn't, but the host's patience is wearing thin after such long months without getting any answers at all.”

“That's actually a good reason. Okay, I didn't want to go anywhere with you because I didn't want you to meet more people who potentially could fall in love with you and try to steal you away. Because you're so amazing that it's easy to fall for you. Happy?”

“Mark.... I go to college. I meet several hundred people there every day,” Jinyoung points out, flabbergasted.

“I know! I said it was stupid, didn't I? Also can't you change to some online college or something?”

“Mark! I-”

“That was a joke, okay?”

“Good.”

“Unless?”

“MARK!”

“Alright,” the blond snickers. “Calm down, okay?”

“Okay. I have one more question. Last one, I promise.” Mark hums and nods. “Why did you send me home on some evenings when we could have had perfect sex that night?”

“Because you had early courses next morning. I wasn't lying.”

“Oh.”

“I know your education is important for you, but you obviously lost sight of it at the prospect of sex. So I tried to be responsible. No lie. No mystery. Just the truth.”

“Okay. I feel slightly stupid now but thank you for being the more mature one then. I don't have any more questions... for now.”

“That's good because I'm kind of exhausted from all the talking and thinking and crying and begging. I order chicken wings for us now, okay?”

“But what if I feel more like pizza calamari?” Jinyoung provokes playfully.

“Then order this weird fish pizza by yourself.”

“Damn, I missed your rude ass.”

“Thanks?” Mark says with a lopsided grin.

“I'm gonna sleep here tonight,” Jinyoung decides. “Just so you know.”

“I'm more than fine with that, Sugartoast.”

“And I won't go anywhere without telling you. I always will stay close by so you won't ever have a reason to search for me. And that means you can sleep in peace from now on, okay?”

“I'm not sure I can make this happen just by willpower but maybe... some day? Give me some time, okay?”

“All the time in the world.”

“Good,” he murmurs and squeezes Jinyoung's hand once again. “To be honest, I was glad every time you were koalaing me to almost-death. When I woke up in the middle of the night and lay awake, it wasn't that bad because you were all over me and instead of pondering I enjoyed your warmth and tried to memorize the feeling of your skin against mine.”

“Oh... that is truly adorable. Can I find you adorable? Basically it's futile to ask you that because in my head you're already an adorable little bean, you know?”

Mark pulls a face before he says, “In your head you also have unicorn expressions and monologues about backpack sizes. But you know, I really like all the other nicknames you have for me much more than 'adorable little bean'.”

“Okay, I will keep that part in my head then. But I just remembered I still owe you an answer to one of your questions. And now it's time. I can answer now without freaking out.”

“Yeah? What question?”

“You once asked me why my nickname for you is only three-quarter god and what would have to happen to make you a four-quarter god.”

“Yes, I remember. So? I'm really curious now.”

“I officially congratulate you to your promotion as a full-fledged god now. The requirement for earning the missing quarter was to love me back.”

“Wow... now who is the adorable little bean here, huh?” Mark quickly leans in to kiss Jinyoung, long and slow. And then he gently starts to push him down so Jinyoung lies flat on the couch. Only a second later Mark is completely on top of him and starts to kiss down his neck and push up the fabric of his t-shirt.

“Mark?”

“Hmmm?”

“I'm..... sorry, but I'm really hungry.”

Immediately Mark collapses on top of him and snickers against his chest. Jinyoung raises his hand to gently run his fingers through Mark's blond wisps.

“It's alright, Sugartoast,” Mark says sweetly after he lifted his head. “I just learned that a full-fledged god doesn't hold any more power than a three-quarter god. But that's okay.”

“That's.... not true. What can I do when I'm this hungry? I didn't eat anything for hours?” Jinyoung whines.

“Don't pout like this or you know what will happen. It means you won't get something to eat for several more hours..... at least no pizza or chicken wings.”

“Pervert god,” Jinyoung snorts.

“Whatever god is fine with me,” Mark casually admits as he climbs off Jinyoung. He grabs his phone in order to get them some dinner.

Jinyoung sits up and watches Mark being focused on his phone. And he's happy. For the first time in his life he feels this special lightheartedness and security. He knows Mark so well by now, he's sure that he won't end up disappointed. That doesn't mean that they will stop fighting completely, but Jinyoung feels like they can conquer every obstacle together. And this thought is overwhelming. He touches the chain around his neck and smiles to himself. He never expected that he could reach such a state of emotional satisfaction, ever.

“Hey Mark? Can you order some ice cream as well, please?”

“Not necessary. Your fave is in the freezer.”

“Oh my god, best boyfriend ever.” Jinyoung sings the line as if he'd try to create a jingle to advertise Mark Tuan. “Wait,...... just to make this clear, you're my boyfriend now, right? Because I'm gonna start telling everybody I know and also everybody I don't know.”

“Ah... boyfriend.... y-yes. For sure! Definitely boyfriends,” Mark stammers when he looks up from his phone. “Good that your parents already know we're boyfriends.”

“Yes, very convenient, right?” Jinyoung says with a boyish grin on his lips.

“Sugartoast, you’re truly above and beyond me,” Mark laughs while he shakes his head. Jinyoung thinks this moment will engrave itself in his memory so he can remember it for the rest of his life. This evening is the second start of their special story.


	12. Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout-out to Julia, Mia and Pam, who never cease to motivate me writing markjin smut in their very refreshing way, and never shy away from making suggestions in that area. Thank you for all the support. (＾ｖ＾)

“You do know that I only apologize to them because what I said made you sad and not because I'm really sorry, right?”

“Mark?”

“What should I do? I am not sorry. While I think I could have phrased it in a slightly less offending way, I still think the point I made was right. But I hate that you're sad because of something I did so yes, I will apologize.”

“Mark, you really-”

“I know they are your parents but-”

“Mark, it's fine, okay? I understand. Just calm down. I know you're nervous but-”

“I'm not nervous.”

“It's the house over there.”

“Shit I'm nervous.”

Jinyoung chuckles at Mark's unusual fickleness and gives his hand a little squeeze. With entwined fingers, a bouquet of flowers and a lot of uncertainty they are walking towards Jinyoung's family home. Today is the day when Jinyoung will introduce Mark to his parents and it's safe to say that everyone involved feels a bit uneasy about it. But Jinyoung would be an idiot if he would reject the offer from his parents. If they want to meet his boyfriend, they will meet his boyfriend. This can be a start of something good, of more acceptance and a calmer life in general.

“Okay, but you know there's no reason to be nervous. I mean, no matter what, we will get through this alive, and my parents promised to be fair. So let's try to make the most of this chance. But no reason to be nervous.”

“Okay, I'll keep that in mind. Maybe I should try to pretend it would be only you and me in the room-”

“Absolutely not! Rather be nervous then.”

“Awesome, now you're making me more nervous than it's necessary. Just calm yourself down, Sugartoast.” They walk up to the door and Jinyoung realizes how his own steps involuntarily become slower. Maybe he's a bit more worried than he wants Mark to know. Though his boyfriend notices anyway. His attempt to play it cool, all in vain.

“Yes, calm down. I will. Breathe. Just breathe and everything is fine.”

“Great. You breathe, I breathe. Perfect plan. Now let's go in,” Mark says and presses the doorbell without further ado.

“Wait! I'm not ready yet!”

“You have to be, Sugartoast.”

“Don't call me Sugartoast in there!”

“Of course not. I'll call you little kitten.”

“WHA-” Jinyoung is about to protest strongly when the door swings open in front of them. “-AAahhhhey mom! Looking good today. New shampoo?”

“Don't be ridiculous, Jinyoung. And why do you look so nervous? I don't want you to be nervous when you visit your own parents.”

“Sorry.”

“Don't say sorry.”

“Sorry.”

“I pretend I didn't hear that,” his mother sighs. “It's so good to see you, my wonderful son. Thank you for coming. And you must be Mark,” she says as she cranes her neck to catch a glimpse of the boy behind Jinyoung.

Mark comes forward, next to Jinyoung, and holds out the flowers for her to take. “Yes, I'm Mark Tuan. Thank you for the invitation. We brought these for you.”

“That's very nice. Thank you,” she says politely and takes the bouquet from him.

“To make one thing clear, I love your son, whether you like it or not. He loves me as well and we will remain a couple, no matter what you say. We would like to get your approval, but it won't change anything, if we don't receive it,” it bursts out of the blond.

Automatically Jinyoung facepalms himself. What the heck just happened? The first few seconds were running smoothly and now this. He peeks through his spread fingers to chance a glance at his mother, who now regains her composure.

“I already assumed that you're the straightforward type,” she says matter-of-factly. “So let me be straightforward with you, too. We love our son as well and for much longer than you do. So if you for whatever reason ever hurt Jinyoung, I will make your life a living hell. Do you understand that?”

Jinyoung can't believe what he hears. Never would he have expected this meeting to kick off like this. Where is all the fake politeness of humanity when he needs it?!

Mark seems to think for a second about his mother's statement before he answers, “That sounds fair to me.”

“Good, now come in.”

“Oh they are here already. Did I miss something?” Jinyoung's father suddenly appears in the hallway and jogs up to his wife.

The latter turns towards him and while she goes back into the house she casually says, “His boyfriend hates our guts, but at least he's handsome. Though he has hair like some hooligan.”

Still standing outside, both boys exchange a quick look before Jinyoung's dad slowly makes his way towards them.

“I didn't even say hello to him and he already hates me?” the man wonders before he lets his eyes wander over the two boys. “She's right, you're really good-looking,” his father acknowledges when he holds out his hand.

“Thanks? I'm Mark.” The boy takes the offered hand and shakes it.

“Good to meet you, Mark. Also don't hate us yet. It would make Jinyoung sad, right son?”

“Yeah,” Jinyoung murmurs.

“I actually don't hate anybody. And nothing is further from my mind than making Jinyoung sad.”

“Good, then we all play on the same team,” his dad says with a friendly smile. “And now come in. I think dinner is almost ready.”

He leaves them alone in the hallway where they take off their shoes.

“That could have gone worse,” Mark evaluates quietly.

“Or way better,” Jinyoung whisper-hisses.

“What do you mean?”

“Your entrance was a bit strong, Mark.”

“I said mine and your mother said hers and now everything is out in the open. What is bad about it?”

Basically Mark is not completely wrong. Jinyoung doesn't know if exchanging fake courtesies and pretending that this is a normal situation all evening, would have been a better alternative. It's just that Mark's approach on this was once again so upfront and unconventional that it threw Jinyoung off the track. But it's true that this isn't necessarily a bad thing.

“Okay, you're right. Let's just try not to start a riot.”

“That's not my intention.”

“That doesn't say much.”

“True. But it will be fine, Sugartoast. We got this.” Once again Mark's encouraging smile and his overflowing confidence gives him a feeling of security. He knows very well that his boyfriend can't foresee the future. Still, when Mark says they will overcome this together, Jinyoung believes him.

“Okay.”

It's not often he can claim it, but today Jinyoung can proudly say that his ability to fill the silent void with chatter truly comes in handy. There were some awkward pauses during dinner but thanks to Jinyoung the conversation was revived every time. His parents asked them a lot of questions. Especially when they wanted more information about how exactly they met and for how long they are going out, the boys had to become a bit creative. It's just an assumption but Jinyoung believes that his parents aren't ready for the truth of their whole story. At least not yet.

His dad was the more relaxed and open-minded one in this situation and Jinyoung was very grateful for it. Soon his mom seemed to run out of steam and gave up on comments which were a bit on the snappy side.

Mark behaved well. Jinyoung noticed that he tried to keep himself in check more than usual, but never played pretend. He never let go of Jinyoung's hand throughout the evening, at least not as long as this hand wasn't occupied with things like eating or drinking. He also fancied to go to the bathroom alone. But apart from this, Jinyoung thought it was very nice to have his boyfriend so physically close in this tricky situation. It made him feel stronger, like it wouldn't even be a question, if this visit would run smoothly or not.

“Jinyoungie, I hope you will visit us again soon,” his mom coos as she pushes the plastic container with the dinner's leftovers into his hands.

“Yeah, I think I will drop by more often from now on.” It's vaguely phrased but everyone in the hallway gets the message loud and clear why he now feels more comfortable in this house. His parents both nod. His dad smiles kindly, his mom more bashfully.

“And bring Mark along, if possible,” his dad suggests. “I know you're probably busy with your classical music education and your performances and all, but perhaps you could make time for us once in a while,” he addresses Mark.

“I think that's arrangeable, Mr. Park,” the blond assures, also smiling. They step out into the night and say their goodbyes.

“Get home safely, boys,” his mom says, standing at the threshold, waving.

“I'll accompany him back to his dormitory, Mrs. Park. Don't worry.”

“Alright, be careful.”

“Bye mom, bye dad,” Jinyoung says when he turns around for a last time. With one hand carrying the plastic container and the other hand enveloped in Mark's, he enjoys the silence of the night for a bit as they make their way to the bus station.

“I wouldn't have given you credit for being such a good liar,” he eventually scoffs.

Mark releases his high-pitched giggle before he replies. “I do what I have to do, Sugartoast. I wonder if they would have killed me, if I'd have told them that I take you to my apartment now to do heaven knows what with you.”

“Probably, yeah,” Jinyoung chuckles. “In my parents' reality I don't have sex. Like, never in my whole life. Sex doesn't exist for me. That's basically universe's number one rule.”

“But what if they would have succeeded setting you up with a nice girl? Still no sex for you?”

“Nope.”

“They don't want grandchildren?”

“Of course they do. But even if I would have been together with a girl, pregnancy would just have magically appeared out of nowhere. In their world there is no sex necessary for that kind of trivialities.”

“That's so weird. You didn't just fall from the sky either. They must have had sex at least once to-”

“Psst psst psst! Let's not go down this road, okay? There are certain things I don't like to discuss and this is definitely one of them.”

“Understood and relatable,” he laughs. Mark leans in to give him a quick peck on the cheek. Jinyoung lives for these cute, spontaneous bursts of affection. So far Mark really is the best boyfriend he can imagine.

“I guess my parents will get used to you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yep, the piano thing really impressed them. They might accept my sexual orientation now, but they're still so old-fashioned that they think no person who is good at playing classical music could be a bad person. Not even blond hooligan hair can change that.”

Mark laughs at that and shakes his head slightly. “What kind of religion is this?”

“Just old people's thinking.”

“Very well. I don't care what saved my ass but I'm glad something did.”

“Your looks, too.”

“Excuse me?”

“I guess it helps a lot that you are so very handsome.”

“That's a bit shallow, don't you think? Also it's weird because... uhm.... we're talking about parents here. Eeew!”

“I don't mean it that way, idiot. I just say that people still react more positively to really good-looking people. And yes, it's shallow as fuck but I think that saved your ass, too.”

“So be it. Maybe one day they will like me for.... well, I don't even expect them to like me for me as a person, but maybe some day they will like me for loving you so much and treating you like you deserve to be treated. I think that's realistic thinking.”

Jinyoung turns his head and takes a good look at Mark's side profile. Every day he realizes a tiny bit more just how much luck he had to get Mark as a boyfriend. He thought his happiness peaked on the day they confessed to each other, like he couldn't become any happier than that. But that wasn't true. From this point on, his happiness only kept growing. And it's situations like this one, which remind him of it. It's not this overwhelming big burst of happiness, which was their confession and the realization that they now belong to each other. No, it's different, calmer somehow. These little moments now are like tiny glitter clouds full of joy. They enrich every day and let happiness thrive even more. These moments are not the sheer fantasy of having a relationship anymore, they're the daily proof of having a well-functioning one.

“Mark?”

“Hmmm?”

“Thank you for doing all of this for me.”

“What do you mean?” he asks baffled and turns his head to lock eyes with Jinyoung.

“I know it's not the standard process to go through a painstaking meeting with slightly homophobic parents, being called a hooligan and being threatened with the possibility of a hell-like life. With a different boyfriend by your side you wouldn't have to go through so much trouble. I'm sorry. Thank you for putting up with this.”

The surprise on Mark's face fades and is replaced with the softest smile in human history. “Sugartoast, don't say sorry. The way your parents think or act is not your fault. I have a lot of emotional baggage and you accept everything without complaint. So I can at least try to help you changing your parents' mind. That's the boyfriend-deal, you know? And I don't want to have any boyfriend who isn't you. Also you said it's not the standard process with your parents. That's correct, but since when are we good with standards? As if we would do anything according to protocol,” he laughs adorably and Jinyoung can't help but to chime in. “We are wondrous and I love that about us. So please don't apologize for it ever again.”

Jinyoung can't hold himself back any longer. He leans in to press a short kiss on Mark's lips. He lingers close to his face and whispers a whole-hearted “thank you” against his mouth before he pulls away to offer Mark a timid smile.

“That makes everything worth it, Sugartoast.” Jinyoung would like to kiss those smiling lips again but he's afraid he would lose control and they are still too close to his family home for that. “Also it's kind of entertaining. Your mom is very witty, even though in a slightly mean way. But better than boring, I guess. I'm sure we can melt her heart eventually. And maybe one day I'll be kind enough to change my hooligan hair color.”

Jinyoung laughs at his lighthearted statement. He doesn't deserve this boy. “You would do that for her?”

“I might, but not in the foreseeable future. And basically I want her to accept me completely before I make any concessions.”

“My mom really found an equal opponent in you. This is going to be interesting,” Jinyoung snickers.

“She can keep it coming. I'm ready,” Mark says with a tiny smile on his lips and a vibrant glimmer in his eyes. In the darkness of the night, only highlighted by the shining moon, his boyfriend still blazes like the brightest flame.

“I fell in love with someone who tastes like adventure but looks like the calm beautiful morning after a terrible storm.”

Mark looks at him with surprise plastered all over his face. “That's beautiful. Thank you, Sugartoast.” Now it's Mark who leans in to peck Jinyoung's lips.

“I think that a lot when I look at you.”

“Is this Twitter poetry again?”

“You bet it is,” Jinyoung says with a growing grin and enjoys the way he makes Mark laugh.

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

“So Sugartoast, I arranged a Skype date with my parents for next Friday. They're looking forward to meet you.”

“That's..... exciting.”

“Don't look so scared, okay?” Mark laughs and takes a short break from preparing the ingredients for some plum crumble pie, which he's about to make because Jinyoung asked for it. “I promise they won't make it hard for you. It's going to be fine.”

“Okay,” Jinyoung breathes. All thoughts about the novel, which he's currently reading at the small kitchen table, are momentarily blown away. He can't help feeling nervous at the prospect. Meeting the parents of your boyfriend is a relevant event, even though it happens only online for now. “Should I wear something chic? Anything special?”

“God no! It doesn't matter. You don't even need to wear pants, or underwear.”

“Mark! We're talking about meeting your parents here.”

“And I'm talking about meeting my parents while they only will see us from our waists up. So chill, Sugartoast. I swear, my parents are the easy part of my life. No need to be concerned. They will like you, a lot. I already can imagine how they will claim to love you more than I do,” Mark tries to reassure with a bright smile on his lips.

“I hope you're right.”

Before his boyfriend can retort anything, the sound of the door bell steals both their attention.

“Do you expect anyone?”

“Nope. Maybe it's Jae-Jae. Can you get the door, please? I'm kind of in the middle of a dough mess here.” Mark smiles adorably as he lifts his crumble-pie-dough-ed hands to show Jinyoung his current misery.

“Sure, just keep doing what you do best, master baker.” The addressed boy continues to knead the dough. When Jinyoung walks past him he doesn't let the opportunity slide to give his butt a little slap.

“Naughty, Sugartoast, naughty.”

“I just make use of one of the rare situations when the sex demon can't defend himself.” Jinyoung leaves the room with a wide grin and the a wink at Mark.

“Getting the door in my boyfriend's apartment. No big deal,” Jinyoung whisper-sing-cheers while he's skipping towards hallway.

“DID YOU SAY ANYTHING?” Mark calls from the kitchen.

“NOPE!”

When Jinyoung opens the door and doesn't spot Youngjae, but a guy who he never saw before, he's dumbfounded at first, just like the visitor it seems.

“Can I help you?” he asks eventually but the other still looks at him with obvious confusion. Jinyoung makes good use of the time and does a quick full-body scan of the boy. Handsome face, a mischievous glint in his eyes, sandy blond (definitely dyed), disheveled hair, approximately same height as himself but shoulders not as broad, a striped t-shirt, loose-fitting ripped jeans and Chucks.

“Uhm.... I'm looking for Mark Tuan. May I ask who you are?”

Jinyoung slightly scrunches his eyebrows together as he beholds the guy. Why does he talk like he has more rights to be here than Jinyoung does?

“I'm Jinyoung. And you are?”

“My name is Junha. Does Mark still live here?”

Junha. Mark's ex-boyfriend. Oh no. This is the worst case scenario Jinyoung always feared since he learned about this guy's existence. Every alarm bell available goes off in Jinyoung's head. Before he fully processes the situation, he blurts out a quick “He's dead!” and slams the door shut. He braces himself against it as if he fears the ex-boyfriend would be some kind of evil ghost who could bust through that door at any given moment.

“Sugartoast? Is everything alright?” Mark asks as he peeks around the corner. He slightly narrows his eyes as he spots Jinyoung in his evil-ghost-defense-position against the door.

“Y-Yes.”

“Who was it?”

“D-D-Door-to-door sales person!” he lies tragically bad.

“For what?”

“Bees! Waffles! D-Doormats!”

Just seconds ago Mark was only suspicious, but after Jinyoung's latest and way more miserable lie, he knows for sure something is off. “Sugartoast, do you have a fever again?” He wipes his freshly washed hands on a kitchen towel as he walks towards Jinyoung and the door of doom.

Unfortunately evil-ghost-ex now starts to bang against the door.

Mark tilts his head to the side and raises a questioning eyebrow at the sweating Jinyoung. The latter swallows thickly under the heavy weigh of Mark's gaze. “Door-to-door sales person, Sugartoast? You're sure?”

“Uuuuhm...”

The blond gently nudges him away and opens the door. Jinyoung has no choice but to stand at the sidelines and watch the chaos unfold.

Mark freezes as soon as he spots the waiting boy. Jinyoung at least hopes that his boyfriend keeps breathing. Right now he isn't too sure about it.

“Hey Mark, there you are,” Junha says and a gentle smile plays on his lips. He looks even better smiling. He reminds Jinyoung of one of these idol singers. Of course Mark Tuan’s ex-boyfriend would look like this. Jinyoung suddenly despises all idol singers even though they never did him any harm.

“Hey..... that's...... a surprise,” Mark hesitantly says after a few seconds of blatant staring. But Jinyoung can't latch onto a single emotion on his face or in his voice. He has no idea what goes on in Mark's head. He thought the times when this would happen were over, but to witness this happening again, especially under these circumstances, outright frightens him.

“He said you were dead,” evil-ghost-ex immediately snitches on Jinyoung. Now he hates him even more.

Mark's mask-like expression vanishes and he actually has to stifle his laugh. He's glancing at Jinyoung with obvious amusement. But Jinyoung avoids his eyes and stares at the floor, a little embarrassed and looking guilty as charged. “The first thing which came to your mind was that I'm dead? Awesome Sugartoast.”

“Can I come in?” The waiting boy snatches Mark's attention anew.

But the addressed one doesn't respond for several seconds and Junha becomes noticeably more nervous with every passing moment.

“Fine,” Mark eventually sighs and makes space for the other to come in.

“Thanks. Aaah, it feels odd to be back here, but somehow pretty good, too. It feels like coming home after a long vacation,” he says playfully and beams at Mark. The latter's eyes widen for a second. Jinyoung assumes that it must be a whirlwind of emotions within him right now, especially when his ex drops imprudent comments like this one. He wishes he could do anything to make this easier for him. But he knows he's powerless in this situation. So Jinyoung just wordlessly follows them into the living room. Mark regained his composure quickly but obviously doesn't feel the need to respond. “To be honest, I was afraid I wouldn't meet you here anymore. I thought you moved somewhere else, where I never would be able to find you. And when your housemate slammed the door in my face, I thought it was over. But now you're here... and _alive_. What a relief.”

“My..... housemate?” Mark repeats and looks a bit confused.

“Yeah,” the other says and points at Jinyoung. Mark gets what he meant but doesn't say anything. Meanwhile Jinyoung tries to keep his rising panic in check. Because why does Mark not say that they are dating? Why lets he believe his ex that Jinyoung is a mere housemate instead of his boyfriend? Jinyoung is already half out of his mind when they reach the couch and take a seat.

Good thing is that Mark sits down on the other end of the couch, far away from evil-ghost-ex. Jinyoung sits down beside Mark. It's difficult to keep himself from dropping down right onto his lap. But he knows this must be tricky enough for his boyfriend already, so he tries to not make it harder for him with any more crazy antics. He still blames himself for his miserable attempt to deny evil-ghost-ex's visit.

“Junha,” Mark sighs and sounds tired already. “What are you even doing here?”

“Junha?” he parrots. “You used to call me Jun.”

“And _you_ used to be my boyfriend. But things change.”

“Alright, I guess that’s what I deserve,” he murmurs, looking noticeably contrite. Jinyoung wonders what is going on here. Mark’s tone wasn’t resilient at all, but rather matter-of-factly. But Junha seemed to comprehend it as some kind of snide remark. Mark isn't someone who says things just to be mean. Evil-ghost-ex doesn't seem to know that. Jinyoung finds that very off-putting, since this is something he learned about Mark very quickly. “Anyway, I’m here to check on you.”

“Check on me? _You_? _Now_? How does this make sense?” Mark is obviously more than astounded. Jinyoung can't blame him. It's kind of peculiar how his ex-boyfriend, who made his life a hell for months, now sits on his couch and claims to care, all that with a patronizing smile on his damn idol face.

“Oh yeah, maybe it seems a bit sudden. So let me explain. I met BamBam a while ago and he..... he told me you weren't doing good after our break up.”

“That did surprise you? Wasn't it foreseeable?”

“Mark, please don't get snarky. I'm just-”

“I'm not snarky, just honest. Those were serious questions.” Mark's tone is neutral, but his eyes are narrowed and observant. He's obviously on high alert.

“Okay, I understand. Well, I assumed that it would be difficult for you, but according to BamBam it was bad. _Really bad_. Worse than I ever imagined.” Jinyoung notices how Mark's eyes are downcasted for a few moments while he swallows thickly. He is entirely unsure what is happening inside his boyfriend. He wants to protect him so badly. He wants to kick his evil-ghost-ex out and ban him from ever coming back. But he knows he doesn't have the right to do that.

“So?” Mark croaks when his eyes find evil-ghost-ex again.

“And that started me thinking, about our relationship and the way I left. I mulled over it for quite some time after I met BamBam. Finally I distanced myself enough from the situation and can think about everything with a clear mind. I realized that I made the situation back then worse than it had to be. A clean cut would have been the best I could have done for you, but instead I left you hanging. And I want to apologize for that. I am sincerely sorry. I was an indecisive jerk.”

“Okay,” Mark breathes as a tiny bit of tension seems to evaporate from him. “You're right about that. It was terrible. I'm glad you realize it now..... even if it's late.”

“Will you forgive me?” The boy looks at him with hopeful eyes.

“I accept your apology,” Mark responds. Jinyoung knows evil-ghost-ex is aware that Mark didn't give him the answer he wanted to hear. The blossoming hope in his eyes was dampened.

“Oh... okay. Thank you for that. I know I can't be forgiven that quickly. But maybe I can make it up to you,” the boy says and a playful smile is back on his lips. “Uhm.... excuse me,” he suddenly addresses Jinyoung, “this is kind of a private conversation. Could you leave us alone, please?”

“No, he won't,” Mark answers even before Jinyoung can process the question properly. Because how dare he? He wants to send Jinyoung away? No way. At least not until Mark tells him clearly that he has a steady boyfriend. And Jinyoung needs to witness how Mark will react to whatever it is that this guy wants to discuss with him.

“But-”

“No, Junha. You can't order Jinyoung or me or anyone else in my life around. He will stay. Take it or leave it.”

That was what Jinyoung needed to calm down his inner panic at least a little. Mark wants him here. Mark speaks up for him. And the confusion on evil-ghost-ex's face is pure gold.

“Okay. Fine, if this is what you want,” the visitor murmurs before he starts his explanation. “So I realized that I need and want to apologize to you, but I also realized something else. You know our relationship was special. I was happy when I was with you. Everything about you made me happy. I was a fool to think I could replace what we had or find anything or anyone that makes me even remotely as happy as you made me. After I left, I felt a new sense of freedom. That was something I missed because I felt slightly trapped in our relationship sometimes. And then I thought I would finally be free and ready to experience something even greater and more exciting. But it was nothing like that. I only had to put up with jerks. There was nobody who could match you. Nobody was as smart and kind and and caring and funny and honest as you. Nobody made me feel as good about myself as you did. They have brought me nothing but disappointments and regrets. And when I met BamBam and he told me about you and how hard it is for you, I thought that maybe there would still be a chance for us. A chance for a future together.”

His words feel like a punch in Jinyoung's face. He is sure his heart stopped beating just now for way longer than it's healthy. This evil-ghost-ex-bastard! How dare he? But Jinyoung can't get into a fuss right now. Even though his blood is boiling and his mind is hazy with fear, it's not his place to kill this crazy bastard. He glances at Mark who seems to be completely thunderstruck. Jinyoung feels tears spring into his eyes. Please, he thinks, please don't let this be the end. Mark and Jinyoung, they just found their way together. They are only at the start of something, which Jinyoung is sure would be a bright future. Please don't let this end just because this evil-ghost-ex thinks he can come back and do whatever he wants with Mark. Jinyoung is not ready. He can't lose Mark. He just can't. His heart isn't strong enough to face this pain.

“I had a very hard time to get over you,” Mark finally says, calm but firm. “But that's in the past. It took me a long time, but I managed. And when I was back in a life that could be called normal, I found someone who was worth all the emotional work. I found somebody I want to be the best version of myself for, someone who makes me happy, and who I hope I can make happy as well. And that's Jinyoung. Jinyoung is my boyfriend, Junha.”

Mark reaches over and takes Jinyoung's hand in his. A short glance and a soft smile accompany that reassuring gesture. Jinyoung feels like somebody pulled him out of a threatening thunderstorm to drop him off at a sunny beach.

Evil-ghost-ex is noticeably shocked at that. Obviously he hasn't expected Mark to have fully moved on by now.

“I see,” he says quietly before he pipes up again with more vigor. “But just think about it. Do you remember how happy we were? We can have that again. Just think about it and let me know when you have an answer.”

Is this guy completely nuts? Mark just told him that he has a boyfriend and he simply ignores the fact in this said boyfriend's presence? The audacity! Jinyoung can't contain himself any longer.

“Are you out of your mind?”

“W-What?”

“I asked if you're out of your mind! Did you hit your head somewhere or were you raised by a bunch of hyenas? Why do you think it's okay to disrespect me that much and ask _my_ boyfriend to be _your_ boyfriend right in front of me?” Jinyoung snaps.

“I'm.... I was just giving Mark options,” he stammers.

“Nice of you to give him options all of the sudden. Very considerate after you treated him like trash for months. You deserve an award, most-maybe-boyfriend-half-asshole-jerk of the year.”

“Can you calm down? I'm talking to Mark and not to-”

“Jinyoung is right. Get out,” Mark says and squeezes Jinyoung's hand in his, though his serious gaze is fixed on evil-ghost-ex.

“But-”

“No. Like I told you just a minute ago, I'm very happy with Jinyoung and not for anything in the world I would want to trade that. That's your answer. Now you can leave. You don't need to check on me again. I'm good.”

“Mark please,” the boy begs. The mischievous glint in his eyes is gone. Only desperation is visible in them now.

Mark stands up and walks towards the hallway. “Follow me.” Jinyoung knows he addressed his ex. But the latter still is glued to the spot, trying to cope with the presumably unexpected rejection.

“I think Mark was talking to _you_,” Jinyoung points out, not able to hide the gloating note in his voice. The boy glares at him and huffs before he abruptly stands up to follow Mark. Jinyoung trails behind so that he can still hear what both of them say.

“Mark, please think about it. Just remember, we were perfect together, perfect for each other,” Junha tries to persuade Mark, who already holds open the apartment door for him to leave.

“No,” Mark huffs. “We weren't. I just realized it way too late. I moved on. You should do the same.”

Junha slowly walks out and beholds his ex-boyfriend with wistful eyes. “You might regret this, Mark,” is the last thing he murmurs before he turns towards the stairs.

“I'm pretty sure I won't. Take care, Junha.” Mark closes the door and turns around to spot Jinyoung, who loiters in the doorway to the living room. “Well, that was surprising,” Mark says with feigned lightheartedness.

“How are you?” Jinyoung mumbles anxiously.

“Hey Sugartoast,” Mark coos and walks up to him to cup his face in his hands and give his mouth a quick kiss. “There is absolutely no reason to look so uneasy. I admit, I wasn't prepared for this to happen, although I think it went okay.”

“He wants you back, huh?”

“So? I don't want _him_. I only want _you_.” After a reassuring smile follows another reassuring kiss and slowly Jinyoung relaxes in his touch.

“I was seriously afraid for a second when he confessed,” Jinyoung whispers against Mark's mouth.

“We came a long way to be where we are now, Sugartoast. Don't expect me to throw all of this away just to turn around and run back to someone who can't value the people around him properly. I will spend our future proving to you that there is no reason to doubt my love for you. Do you believe me?” Mark still holds his cheeks in his palms. He smiles at him but his eyes burn with the spark of determination.

Jinyoung heaves a deep sigh of relief as he lets his forehead drop against Mark's shoulder. “Yes, I do. Always.”

“Good.” Mark presses a tiny peck against his ear and Jinyoung can't stop his giggle from emerging. He looks up again to see Mark's wide and radiant smile. An immature thought flashes through his mind and unfortunately tumbles right out of his mouth.

“Mark.... he's hot.”

“What?”

“Your stupid ex is kind of hot. You must have been damn much attracted to him. And I don't like that. I'm jealous of all the sex you had with him. All the crazy things you did with him,” he sighs.

“Uhm Sugartoast, you might be a little..... wrong here,” Mark stammers, seeming flustered all of the sudden.

“How so?” Jinyoung questions and tilts his head slightly to the side.

“Our sex life was actually very.... standard. We didn't do anything wild. A simple blowjob was creative work already.”

“W-What? That doesn't make any sense. You're freaky Mark Tuan. How did you not bang the shit out of him?”

“He topped most of the time?”

“WHAT?” Jinyoung screeches so loud that Mark winces.

“Well.... yeah.”

“All your natural talent was wasted on him!” Jinyoung furiously exclaims. “He didn't deserve you. So much ambition and creativity was suppressed. You, a true artist, a master of the sheets, a magician between pillows. But he just put it in and went? What a fool! A fucking dumb peasant! He didn't know anything. He had no idea what he was missing out on. OH MY GOD he still doesn't know! Ooooohhh, he has so much to regret. I'm almost a bit sorry for him. Well, almost. Mostly I'm elated. And I'm gloating. In case you didn't notice yet, I'm gloating. Because HA HA, he just got boring while he could have gotten mind-blowing, amazing, breathtaking BOOM! But he didn't. It's all mine. It only belongs to me and he will never have it. Good life!”

“Wow, that was quite a passionate speech, Sugartoast,” Mark admits, a mix of amusement and amazement playing on his features.

“Don't be afraid okay? I didn't go crazy. I'm just happy that I have a version of you just for myself. One that he never had and doesn't know. I need this for my sanity.”

“I'm fine with it. I like to see you happy. And if it helps you to move past your jealousy then gloat all you want.”

“I'm not jealous.”

That's not very convincing after your speech.”

“Okay, maybe I'm jealous.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, it's okay, Sugartoast. I mean it's absolutely useless, but it's okay.” Mark smiles at him softly and pats his hair.

“Okay,” Jinyoung whispers and returns a shy smile. “But why were you so wild with me right from the start?”

“You just keep doing this to me. When I see you I can't suppress the urge to completely ruin you.”

“That..... should scare me a little but it's somehow such a turn-on.” Jinyoung immediately wraps himself around his boyfriend and shoves his tongue in his mouth. Mark is a very good host and welcomes him right away. The blond walks him backwards until Jinyoung's back is pushed against the door frame. Jinyoung grinds his hips into Mark and starts to rub himself on him.

“Sugartoast, you're driving me crazy every fucking day,” the blond moans into his mouth.

“And believe me, I will keep that up.” He flashes his boyfriend a daring smirk.

“I can't believe how lucky I am.”

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

Jinyoung beholds himself skeptically in Mark's giant bathroom mirror. He should have been more suspicious when his boyfriend came up to him and proudly shoved a bag with a 'present' in his hands. Now Jinyoung is done with putting on said present, but still debates with himself whether or not he did it the right way.

He still wears his black skinny jeans, but his upper body is exposed. It was a necessity to put this thing around his waist, which is a wide corset belt made of black leather with a tight black lacing. His pecs are still on full display above the alluring piece of clothing. He's not yet fully convinced that this could be a sexy concept. On the other hand, he's sure that Mark imagined how he would look in it when he bought it. And the sheer thought that his boyfriend would consider him sexy in it, is enough to boost Jinyoung's confidence.

“SUGARTOAST, YOU GOOD IN THERE?” Mark asks from the other side of the door.

Jinyoung takes a deep breath and braces himself. A last time he looks at himself in the mirror and then he turns around to quietly slip out of the bathroom.

Turns out there was no need to be so quiet. Mark is waiting for him anyway with his eyes fixed on the bathroom door. When the blond spots his boyfriend, his eyes immediately roam all over Jinyoung's body with a familiar intensity. He feels his heart lose its steady rhythm. It shouldn't make Jinyoung this shy but somehow it does, and he still awkwardly loiters near the bathroom door.

But Mark really seems to like what he sees. The way he's quickly pulling his white t-shirt over his head is a reliable indicator for it. The shirt drops to the ground and Mark Tuan, beautiful and impressive like the full-fledged god he is, is only left in his gray ripped jeans and nothing else. “Come here, Sugartoast.” His voice is low and raspy and the ideal measure to lure Jinyoung.

In a few quick steps he's in front of his boyfriend who won't let a second go by before he places his hands on Jinyoung's sides. His hands slowly rub against the fabric of his jeans, massaging his hips. His beautiful doe eyes stare into his, right into his soul. “You look lovely.”

“I do?”

“Oh yes, you do. This belt accents your slim waist and highlights your lovely hips. You look lovely as a whole. But your hips right now are outright delicious.”

The combination of this murmured statement full of appreciation, and the touch of Mark's palms sends a flash of heat through Jinyoung's body. His boyfriend really knows how to push his buttons.

Still Jinyoung tries to play it cool. “Your never ending kink list is still growing.”

“Don't act as if you're upset. I saw your smile just now. You love me praising your beautiful hips.”

Mark is right. He loves every form of praise he offers him. It's pointless even trying to hide it. He probably sees how Jinyoung's mind is wavering. Mark only smiles at him before he wraps his arms around his lower back and brushes their cheeks together. He slowly sways Jinyoung from side to side, along to a song he starts to sing directly into his ear.

It's a slow and quiet tune. Mark's raspy voice and the lyrics are a great combination and the feeling of being enveloped in a secure hug tops everything off. Jinyoung sinks into the beauty of the moment.

“Cradle me, I'll cradle you  
I'll win your heart with a woop-a-woo  
Pulling shapes just for your eyes”  
  
“So with toothpaste kisses and lines  
I'll be yours and you'll be”  
  
“Lay with me, I'll lay with you  
We'll do the things that lovers do  
Put the stars in our eyes”  
  
“And with heart-shaped bruises  
And late-night kisses divine”

Mark will never stop to surprise him, it seems. The blond looked at him with hungry eyes and obvious desire the whole day. Jinyoung felt like prey, only protected by the light of day. So naturally he expected Mark to pounce him as soon as they would be alone. But here he is, despite their naked chests rubbing together, he's holding Jinyoung like he's the most precious thing on earth, gently swaying him to the soft sounds of the song.

Jinyoung is thoroughly trapped in Mark's voice, so he becomes conscious of the situation again only after Mark started to hum the rest of the melody. His silky lips kiss down Jinyoung's cheek and his jaw. He moves down and mouths at his neck, still humming.

“Is this your song?”

“No, it's called 'Toothpaste Kisses' by the band The Maccabees,” Mark elaborates into the wet skin of his neck. Jinyoung is a tiny bit sad that he stopped humming in order to answer, but he still enjoys Mark's current activity very much. “But I think it fits us perfectly,” he murmurs before he continues to run his lips along Jinyoung's neck.

“Yeah,” Jinyoung whispers as he tilts his head back to give him better access. He puts his hands on Mark's upper arms and squeezes his biceps lightly. His hands slide across the smooth skin of his shoulders and find Mark's long, incomparable neck. Fingers stray into the soft, short hair at his nape, lovingly threading through it. He loves to stroke the tender skin. He loves to wander to the spot behind Mark's ear and caress it. It always brings a shiver down Mark's spine, then a smile to Jinyoung's lips.

In the meantime the blond reached where Jinyoung's necklace lies against his sculpted collarbones. With his sharp teeth he tugs on it before it's dropped again, and a teasing tongue licks along the silver chain. The sensation of it spreads into every cell and every tiny nerve ending of Jinyoung's body. He would love to observe the spectacle but the angle makes it impossible. When predator teeth all of the sudden sink into his skin around the shiny necklace, a chocked moan spills from his lips.

“Are you excited for what will happen tonight?” Mark purrs against his bitten skin.

“Yes,” the boy croaks as Mark continues to leave a trail of destruction along his necklace. “God, Mark,” he whispers. The arousal already starts to soak through him. He feels how the other's lips curl into a smile against his chest. And now he knows that Mark also knows about his growing excitement.

The blond traces _the l_ine _of his collarbone with his wet tongue before he moves up again to lick the side of his throat._ His lips wander to _the _outline _of Jinyoung's _ear, then to _the _blood-heated _curve of his _cheek.

Mark slowly opens his eyes after a loving cheek kiss. They stare into each other's eyes from basically no distance at all. A tiny gasps escapes Jinyoung's mouth as all the love and sexual tension between them makes him go weak in the knees. The arms around him tighten at that and finally soft lips slide over his.

The kiss starts slow, exploring each other's lips cautiously as if it would be the first time, before Mark is delving deeper. Jinyoung parts his lips without any resistance. The other's tongue slips inside. Jinyoung can taste Mark's desire just from that.

The heat between them increases quickly as the blond kisses him with passion and ferocity. Mark flicks his tongue twice in an arc along the roof of Jinyoung's mouth, who responds with a breathless moan.

Like a succubus Mark casts a mysterious spell on him. The sex demon lures him into his magic of passion, makes him pliant and obedient. Jinyoung never had a chance. Once caught in the claws of the wildcat, there is no way to escape, no, not even the will to escape. The only thought in Jinyoung's hazy mind at this point is how to get closer, how to sink deeper into his dangerous magic.

The slide of _his _zipper is barely _audible _over _their _harsh _breathing_. Only when Mark tugs at his jeans, he realizes that something else apart from the mind-blowing kiss is going on. Regrettably his boyfriend breaks the kiss to pull down Jinyoung's pants completely, which leaves him only in tight, black boxer briefs and the corset belt.

“Do you trust me?” Mark asks when he's back at eye level with him.

Without any hesitation Jinyoung immediately replies an honest “Yes”.

“Good. I have another present for you.” With a smirk the blond turns around and leaves Jinyoung standing in the middle of his bedroom.

Jinyoung gulps. He's feels uneasy, not sure what there is about to come. From a drawer Mark takes something black, which is difficult to define at first. It's another accessory made of black leather, Jinyoung realizes when his boyfriend comes closer, still smirking. He recognizes that it's a collar with a single steel ring at the front. His eyes widen as he stares at the item in Mark's slender fingers.

“Don't freak out yet, okay?” the blond tries to soothe. “We said we would try this, right, my little kitten?” He blames the sex demon's raspy voice and the pretty curve of his lips and the general magic he works on Jinyoung, for his own reaction, which is a slow nod. A smile which is way too endearing for the situation blooms on Mark's lips. Carefully he puts the collar on Jinyoung and locks it so that it lies loosely around his neck. It feels a bit weird to now have two leather accessories hugging his body, but the way Mark's eyes are gleaming lets Jinyoung believe that it must look good on him.

“You're stunning, simply stunning,” Mark murmurs as his eyes trail over his body once more. Again Jinyoung feels his skin heating up, despite wearing remarkably less clothes. “Now please come with me, Sugartoast.”

His boyfriend guides him to the bed and sits him down on the edge. “Close your eyes,” he orders in a gentle tone and Jinyoung complies. He expected a kiss but it's not coming. Instead he hears Mark moving around, then he's fumbling around with the collar around his neck. Eventually a quick peck on the lips and a cheery “open please” frees him from curiosity.

He spots a thin nylon rope, which is tied around one of the bedposts, winding its way up to him. He lifts his hand and touches the front of the collar to find the rope connected to the steel ring. “You leash me like an animal?” Jinyoung blurts out in surprise.

“Like the rarest and prettiest animal, yes,” Mark responds with a proud smile.

“Can we discuss this trust question again?”

“No. It will be fun. Now lie down on your back.” It's a gentle order, but an order nevertheless.

Jinyoung moves further on the bed and lies down in the middle of it, careful not to bury the rope under his body. With much anticipation he now observes how Mark, with his lower half still fully dressed, climbs on the bed and eventually drops down on Jinyoung's crotch. Involuntarily a tiny moan leaves Jinyoung's mouth. This much contact is already enough to fuel his expectations.

With eyes full adoration, Mark leans forward and runs his fingers through Jinyoung's thick hair. “You look so beautiful, Sugartoast. Every time I look at you and realize all anew that you're mine, I can't believe my luck. Jinyoung wants to reply something but before he can, a familiar tongue trails along his bottom lip. Mark slips his tongue inside his mouth and drives him crazy with deep kisses. Jinyoung makes use of the opportunity and puts his palms on his boyfriend's bare back, enjoying the feeling of touching warm, endless planes of skin.

Mark's tongue outlines his mouth before he nuzzles down his chin. Plump lips caress the sensitive skin of Jinyoung's throat while Mark's tongue leaves little wet traces. When he licks over his priorly created bite wounds, Jinyoung groans with lust. His hips buck up into Mark, wanting more from him than his mouth can provide.

“You're impatient,” the sex demon mumbles with obvious amusement in his voice.

“I just want to properly have what's mine anyway,” Jinyoung defends himself.

Mark's lips wander further down to kiss his chest right above his racing heart. “Then who am I to deny you this?”

The blond moves down Jinyoung's body. Unfortunately his hands can't reach Mark's back anymore that way, but the joyful anticipation of what will happen soon makes up for it. Curious hands travel across Jinyoung's pecs and squeeze them teasingly. They wander down to slide over his leather-clad waist. And then Jinyoung observes with his breath held, how his boyfriend's eyes behold the prominent bulge in his underwear.

There's a saucy grin, a tongue that runs along his luscious lips and a teasing fingertip which can't suppress the need to rub the clothed erection to maximum hardness.

“Aaahh... Mark! Please do something. Please do it properly,” Jinyoung whines and hopes that Mark would have mercy on him. Little does he know.

At least the blond is willing to free his erection from the confines of his tight underwear. Immediately his cock springs up out of the waistband, in the form of a messy throbbing longing. And while it requires a lot of attention, Mark doesn't seem to be in a rush.

He glances at Jinyoung's hardness with obvious interest but then shifts to his boyfriend's strong legs. Mark _runs his fingertips _down t_he _slope of his thighs, lets them dance along the insides, gracing the sensitive skin. The tingling feeling in Jinyoung's stomach and the prickling feeling of arousal on his skin only grows with every passing second. Mark knows exactly what he's doing to him and it seems like he is enjoying Jinyoung's suffering already too much.

“Mark?” Jinyoung breathes pitifully.

He doesn't answer. He only glances up at him with a tiny smile before he lets his fingers slide down between his thighs further. He dips down to his knee, pressing a short kiss to it before his mouth follows his fingers. Jinyoung can't deal with how slow everything happens. He needs action quickly. But instead the boy between his legs takes his sweet time peppering kisses along his thigh. The closer Mark's lips travel to his erection, the more violent Jinyoung's heart slams against his ribcage.

Precum already drips from the tip of his twitching hard-on, making a mess on the leather belt. “Mark... please... please,” Jinyoung begs with big puppy eyes and a quivering voice.

Mark looks up at him, his breath hot against his dick, pupils dark and dilated. A dangerous wildcat. That's the only thought in Jinyoung's head. His stomach makes a flip at the sight. It's a bit scary but the burst of fear only turns him on more.

His eyes trap Jinyoung, holding him in place, as the wildcat finally dips his head to lick the base of his erection. “Oh fuck,” Jinyoung moans as soon as the rough tongue touches what so urgently needs to be touched. Mark grasps his length, holding it up to spread kisses along every centimeter of it.

This is good already but Jinyoung needs more. He needs the whole talent of Mark's lovely mouth. He desperately presses up his hips to give Mark a sign, to tell him what he wants without using pitiful words. He whimpers when one strong hand pushes him back down into the sheets. But still he gets what he was asking for.

He jerks up slightly when the other starts to lick his tip. A second later he wraps his smooth lips around it and gives some small sucks. Jinyoung's breath shortens and his eyes furiously blink up at the ceiling above him in order to deal with the sudden pleasure. The way Mark lets his tongue slide through his slit makes his sight blurry. Damn, a simple blowjob shouldn't ruin him like this but then again, with Mark it's never just something simple in bed. Everything he does is thrilling and heartstoppingly exciting.

Jinyoung can't suppress the variety of moans as Mark decides to finally go down on his needy dick. His lips form a tight ring around his erection, squeezing it just where it's good, before he lets his talented tongue swirl around his shaft. By now Jinyoung releases a whole melody of moans with Mark's name mixed in. The blond hums in satisfaction. His hands wander down. He buries his fingers in Mark's shiny hair. He wants more of him, everything he can get.

The blond bobs his head up and down around the rock-hard dick. A s_urge _of lust runs _through him_. Jinyoung gasps for air as, without a warning, Mark suddenly swallows him. He screams in pleasure. Heat shoots through his body like fireworks. Mark works his cock like the fucking sex demon he is. He takes Jinyoung with ease. The latter can't control himself anymore. He uses his hands to press Mark down and shove his dick even deeper down his throat. That obviously takes him by surprise. For a moment Jinyoung thinks he would start to cough but he somehow manages to go on. Though he's mad. He glares up at him and shakes off his hands. Jinyoung bites down on his bottom lip. But much to his surprise Mark doesn't stop.

Jinyoung's back arches sharply when Mark digs his fingers into his thighs. And instead of backing off, instead of letting him breathe, he turns the full attention of his mouth to what Jinyoung wants and follows the movement of his rolling hips. The gracious full-fledged god lets him fuck his throat. Jinyoung can't believe his luck. The feeling of reaching so deep into him is unmatched. Only one thing could make it better and Mark provides it. He moves one hand from his thigh and starts to roughly massage his balls.

“FUCK!” Jinyoung screams. He's on the verge of loosing his mind. His whole body is on fire. Pleasure courses through his veins. The double stimulation almost lets him forget how to breathe. He can't anymore. Breathing is not important. Not as much as feeling Mark all around him.

He closes his eyes to only focus on how Mark makes him feel. Hot blood pools deep in his core as the boy sucks him to the edge. He can feel the sweet orgasm approach. He needs this so bad. He's only seconds away. He braces himself.

And then Mark pulls off.

“No,” Jinyoung whispers at first as his hips thrust up into nothingness. “NOOO!” His eyes pop open and he sits abruptly up to stare at his boyfriend. Mark still kneels between his legs, waiting. “Why did you stop?” he screeches in despair.

“Wow, you already look so wrecked. Amazing,” he retorts way too calm and without giving a satisfying answer.

“Yes, YES! Wreck me more! Wreck me to the end, dammit!”

“Sugartoast, you weren't a good boy just now.” Jinyoung bites down on his lip again. He knows Mark refers to his attempt to choke him with his dick. “I have another present for you,” Mark simply adds and climbs off the bed.

“Where are you going?” Jinyoung tries to follow him but before he can lift himself to his feet, he feels a tug on his neck. He forgot he's currently put on a leash. A frustrated groan leaves his mouth. His holy orgasm was so close, he almost could taste it on his tongue. And now he sits there, miserable like a drowned rat. He observes how Mark pulls open the drawer again. “Oh my god, please not the drawer!”

“And here is your present, Sugartoast.” Mark turns around and lets a pair of handcuffs dangle from his index finger.

“No fucking way.”

“Don't worry, the inside is padded for extra comfort. Can't ruin your pretty wrists.” Mark walks up to him with the greatest confidence.

“You really want to bind me like a package, huh?”

“I repeat, you weren't a good boy.”

Jinyoung huffs grumpily. “Fine, as long as you will finish what you started.” Mark puts Jinyoung's arms behind his back and puts on the handcuffs. True, the padding makes it not uncomfortable wearing them, but it still feels weird. It reminds him a bit of their first night when Mark already tied his arms over his head. This kinky bastard. “Hey, hey, where are you going now?” To his horror, Mark isn't joining him on the bed. Instead he pulls up a chair in front of the end of it. Jinyoung's suspicion fades a bit when the blond finally unzips his jeans and wiggles out of them. Jinyoung needs less clothes on him for his own sanity. His outrage calms down slightly as his eyes rake over Mark's bare legs and his firm ass in his sea blue boxer briefs.

But he snaps back to attention when Mark sinks down in the chair.

“You said you would continue sucking my dick!”

“No, you claimed that I would do that. I never agreed on it.” Mark replies with a calmness that only fuels Jinyoung's inner storm of emotions.

“That's so unfair!” Mark only shrugs and offers a little grin. “So what now? I'm tied up like some weird assistant girl in a high-class magic show. What happens next? Will you dunk me into a water tank and watch how long it will take me to free myself? Or will you saw me in half?” Jinyoung spits.

“Nah, why would I break something so beautiful? No, I won't do that. But interesting that you bring up magic shows. You know the trick when the magician pulls a rabbit out of a hat? I can do something equally stunning,” he says grinning and stands up again.

“Oh shit, not the drawer again, Mark.” The next item the blond shows off is a headband with white fluffy bunny ears attached. “Just where the fuck did you go shopping for all this stuff?”

“You really don't want to know. But I got all of this for you.”

“How fortunate,” Jinyoung murmurs sulkily. Mark puts the bunny ears on his head and looks at him with a satisfied smile, before he plops down in the chair again. “Since when do bunnies even wear collars? It doesn't even make sense, Mark.”

“Did you ever watch a porn movie, Sugartoast? Because you don't learn much form them, but you learn that things don't need to make sense to be hot.” Jinyoung huffs again and flashes him a sulky pout. “You look so beautiful,” the blond murmurs as his eyes rake over every centimeter of Jinyoung's body in the most obscene way. “Your hard-on looks so beautiful as well, Sugartoast. Such a glorious sight.”

“Yeah? I think it looks lonely and angry, and that's a bad combination.”

Seeing Jinyoung all helpless and at his mercy has Mark's eyes flaring up with excitement. It seems like he can't even tear them away from his tied up boyfriend, completely mesmerized by the spectacle on the bed.

Mark reaches into his boxer briefs and slowly starts to stroke his dick. Jinyoung gasps in surprise. His eyes follow every slow motion underneath the fabric. He can't look away, not for all the money in the world. Too well does he know what kind of magic can be done by what's hidden there. He swallows around the lump in his throat when he thinks about the way Mark's dick feels inside him.

“You won't even let me see you. So unfair,” Jinyoung complains.

“The kitty is upset,” Mark answers lazily.

“The kitty is almost feral.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“You said it would be fun.”

“_I _have fun.”

“You fucking prick, just wait until I get my hands on you.”

“Which hands? I don't see any,” the bastard chuckles.

“I will slaughter you Mark Tuan. _SLAUGHTER!_ Nobody will ever be as dead as you!”

“I love it when you threaten me. It's such a turn-on,” the blond moans.

“Sick jerk!”

“Oh yes!”

“STOP! You're supposed to do that to me, not to yourself!”

“You're such a lousy sub, Sugartoast,” Mark says in his obnoxiously cute high-pitched giggle.

“Who says I'm a sub, loser?”

“Whatever you are, you're gorgeous just like that.”

Jinyoung struggles a bit but eventually manages to raise himself up to his knees just to let himself drop forward, the rope just long enough so he's not ending up suffocating himself. The landing is a bit harsh, considering that he couldn't break his fall with his hands, but he doesn't care. He wants to crawl up to Mark and suck him off, but the rope isn't long enough to let him. Mark probably knew that from the start and Jinyoung hates his guts for it. So he just stares up at his boyfriend and the motion in his underwear.

“What is it, Sugartoast? Do you want to have it?”

Jinyoung swallows and nods, locking eyes with him. The blond knows he is in control. Jinyoung can't do anything without him doing it to him. As much as it annoys Jinyoung, the sheer power and confidence Mark radiates makes him sweat.

Still, looking isn't enough. He has to do something. His erection is aching with disappointment. So he mindlessly starts to rut against the mattress to grant his needy dick some friction. This might look funny but the feeling is a fair reward. At this point, he doesn't give a single fuck anymore.

“Oh wow, Sugartoast. You're as feisty as ever.” Jinyoung looks up at him to see his eyes clouded by arousal. His tongue slowly slides over his sharp teeth as he observes every move of Jinyoung. His breathing is unsteady and the way he tugs at his own dick is quick and rough.

The rush of want overwhelms Jinyoung all anew. The pulsing thrum within him feels so strong that he thinks the whole building must shake from it. Mark is dangerously sexy. He wishes so bad to feel that tongue on himself. He wants Mark with every fiber of his being. He wants those talented fingers around his cock. He wants those luscious lips against his skin. He wants to feel this threatening teeth in his flesh and he wants this big, hard dick up his ass until he's screaming loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear.

The friction the mattress provides is suddenly only a very sad option. The way Mark drinks in Jinyoung's body, his soft groans and his half-lidded eyes drive him crazy. He knows Mark is close to his breaking point and that carries Jinyoung further towards his own.

“You damn fucker. I want you so bad. So bad. I swear I'm on the verge of fainting.”

“Good boy, you're doing awesome. You look so beautiful, trying to come, so beautiful and helpless. Your body is a sin Sugartoast. A whole sin and I love to commit this sin. Your body arches so beautifully. Your curves are sheer temptation.”

Mark's words of praise do a lot for him, but not enough. The sex demon strokes himself to his orgasm. He comes with shut eyes and a deep groan in his underwear.

Jinyoung stops his motions to observe the events in front of the bed. Mark looks dazzling. Yes, he's a mean bastard, but he looks absolutely breathtaking as bliss takes over every feature on his face.

When he spots the wet patches in his boxer briefs, Jinyoung is thrown back into his state of sulkiness. Those dark patches are his. He wanted to have his cum and now it's all wasted. What the fuck?!

“I can't believe you came without me,” Jinyoung grumbles and scowls at the boy who slowly slips back into reality.

“Oh my poor Sugartoast, I'm sorry. But you can't expect me not to come when you look so tempting.”

“Still, I hate you,” he says and pouts again.

“I know you don't mean that. And you also lost your cute bunny ears from rubbing yourself on the mattress, but I forgive you.”

“Thank heavens,” Jinyoung blurts out with all the sarcasm he has in stock.

Mark leans forward and holds out his hand to him. “You want to have a taste?”

He should say no. He should do something rebellious like spitting into his palm and insult him once more. But the temptation is too great and so he pushes his inner brat back down and lifts his chin up from the mattress. With bright eyes Jinyoung beholds the remnants of milky white fluid. And not a second later he starts to lick the drops of cum off Mark's pretty fingers. When he's done, his boyfriend threads his fingers into his soft hair and strokes the strands.

“Now here is my good boy again.” He picks Jinyoung up form the end of the bed and sits him up straight, only to turn him around on his belly again in one fluid motion, all grace and power. Jinyoung's face greets the pillows but he quickly turns his head to see what Mark is doing behind him. “You've been such a good boy for me. Such a lovely kitten. Let me help you now.”

“Yes, help me help me please help me!”

Mark straddles him once again. His smooth palms slide over Jinyoung's elbows and arms, along his shoulder blades and down to his leather-clad middle and tied hands until they find his naked, round ass. With patience and adoration he kneads the squishy cheeks. Jinyoung can't help but push his butt more into the strong hands. Like always he wants to feel the most.

Just when Jinyoung expects him to move his fingers to a more sensitive area, Mark takes his hands off him completely and crawls down to the end of the bed. He tries to watch him but his neck is not playing along, so he just waits for what is about to happen. Mark is especially unpredictable tonight. Jinyoung just hopes he won't set him on fire or the like.

Suddenly there's the feeling of soft lips against is left ankle. Mark presses long kisses into his skin while one hand massages Jinyoung's calf. Jinyoung admits that never before somebody kissed him there. He also admits that it actually feels nice and way more intimate than he ever would have guessed. His boyfriend slowly works his way up the freshly kneaded calf.

His lips slide up to the back of Jinyoung's knee. Gently, he starts to swivel his teasing tongue along the crease. That's another thing not anybody ever did to him. It feels interesting, especially when the tongue disappears but Mark still lingers close to it. What is he doing? Is Mark actually staring at the back of his knee as if it would be an alluring body part? Jinyoung feels how he breathes against the area. The puff of air causes the moisture to evaporate, producing a thrilling hot-then-cold sensation. This sends a fierce shiver through his body, making it obvious that he likes all the attention and the surcharge in intimacy.

Mark drags his lips up Jinyoung's thigh lovingly, spreading open-mouthed kisses all the way. When his nose finally bumps against his butt cheek, Jinyoung's breath hitches. Mark continues his kissing agenda, placing sweet pecks against the roundness. Jinyoung's_ heart is _thumping _strongly in his chest,_ the blood _is pounding in his _veins. And finally he feels Mark spreading his ass open with his thumbs, exposing Jinyoung's greedy, puckering hole. The blond blows against his entrance and is rewarded with another shiver. Everything Mark does to him feels so good, so absolutely right that he can't stop his own body from showing these immediate reactions.

Mark brings his tongue between his cheeks, caressing his entrance gingerly. Jinyoung eagerly pushes his ass back against the touch. He needs him to get inside him. No matter which body part, he needs Mark inside him now. “Please,” he quietly pants. His boyfriend nudges his greedy hole a few times with the tip of his tongue before he finally pushes past the ring of muscles.

A loud moan rips from Jinyoung's lips as his searing hot tongue plunges in deep. It feels so good to have him there. So fucking good. Mark pulls back before diving in again with more eagerness. The way he stretches him isn't uncomfortable in the slightest. Jinyoung's walls welcome Mark happily, sucking him in even deeper. Soft cries of pleasure continue to fall from his lips. This seems to unleash an animalistic surge of desire to course through Mark and makes him tongue-fuck Jinyoung so hard and messy that the tied up boy can't even think straight anymore. And if he drools on the pillows, he doesn’t plan to let anyone know about it.

His moans are bouncing off the bedroom walls as Mark continues to flick his relentless tongue inside him. Jinyoung's ass _muscles _clench and unclench around him. His whole body starts to tremble under his mouth and an all-embracing, _heavy heat_ builds up deep inside him. “Yes, fuck yes Mark fuck god yes you're so good please.” The mix of moans and incoherent stammering falls from Jinyoung's lips entirely uncontrolled. He is so close. Mark's unfinished blowjob earlier has him still so hard that his gifted tongue is already enough to elevate him to heaven now.

Mark moves in and out of him with a merciless pace and Jinyoung never was more grateful. He's so close. His nerves are already extending inside his body, bracing themselves for the much desired climax.

But then Mark is gone. Again. Jinyoung immediately snaps out of his haze, his head whipping around as far as possible. But no, he's still there. With great relief he watches Mark getting rid of his stained underwear. He's glad to see that Mark got hard so fast again. Jinyoung is fine with that. He just could have come from his tongue, and yes, he regrets it a little that it didn't happen, since he basically already dipped his toes into the upcoming orgasm. But he never says no to Mark's cock. Jinyoung closes his eyes and awaits the penetration. But Mark still plays around. Jinyoung feels his hard dick sliding against the juncture near his tailbone, enjoying how slick with precum it is. Next, Mark rubs his ass with the tip of his cock, sending electrical sparks of excitement through him. He doesn't have to wait any longer. Soon he will have him. Jinyoung holds his breath while he waits for the other to fill him up.

But he waits in vain. Before he can process it properly, Mark is gone, this time for real.

“No no no no no no NOOOO! MARK WHAT THE HECK!” he rants and turns his head to the other side to spot a naked Mark sauntering towards the fatal drawer.

“I have another present for you.”

“I don't want another fucking present. I want your fucking dick fucking me to the end of the fucking world!” Mark ignores his outrage as he comes back with something white and fluffy in his hand. Jinyoung groans, knowing his boyfriend will occupy him with another toy instead of his dick. “What kind of kinky shit is this now?”

“You looked like a cute bunny with those ears earlier so I thought I get you the matching bunny tail,” Mark says with a grin on his face. But Jinyoung's attention quickly shifts to Mark's remarkable hard-on. He licks his lips hungrily. “My eyes are up here, Sugartoast, and so is your pretty bunny tail butt plug.”

“You really want to shove this thing into me.” Jinyoung darts a deadpan glance at Mark over his shoulder.

“You're going to like it.”

Jinyoung heaves a deep sigh and lets his head fall back into the pillows. He vaguely notices how the other spreads lube on the toy before the bed dips again under his weight. Only seconds later Jinyoung feels how his boyfriend starts to slip the plug inside him. What a lousy replacement for this hot and flexible tongue, which danced inside him only minutes ago. “You know Mark, what even is the point of a plug right now? I want to be fucked and not to be put on ho- oooly shit!” Jinyoung gasps when he realizes how unexpectedly deep the toy reaches inside him. The next surprise follows only a moment later as a furious vibration rattles his insides. A long-drawn-out moan is elicited from Jinyoung before he can stop himself.

His head whips back again to glare daggers at Mark. “This is actually a vibrator?”

“It's a toy with many talents,” the blond sing-songs while he returns to his chair in front of the bed. Only now Jinyoung spots the little remote in his hand. A surprised gasp leaves his mouth when the toy is switched to a higher setting. Powerful vibrations send delicious shocks of pleasure throughout this lower half. He bites his bottom lip but it doesn't help to keep his composure. He's a moaning and shuddering mess in seconds. There it is again, the familiar feeling of an approaching orgasm. He tries to tone down his reactions, tries to not appear as if he would come in mere seconds. But all his efforts are to no avail. Of course Mark knows how he looks when he's close. And of course Mark switches the vibrator off before Jinyoung finds peace. Again, his almost obtained orgasm was ripped right out of his hands.

Once more Jinyoung cranes his neck to shoot his boyfriend a glare. Tears of frustration prick his eyes. “What the heck is WRONG WITH YOU?” he screams. Dark, unfocused eyes stare back at him. Now he notices that Mark is stroking himself again, slow but rough. “I'm going to slaughter you, Mark Tuan! SLAUGHTER! DO YOU HEAR ME?”

“You're so damn hot.” Mark's voice is deep and breathy while adoration is plastered all over his face.

“I will pull your intestines out of your fucking throat and feed them to some pest-ridden wolves!” Jinyoung grits out in all his anger.

“Your voice is so sexy. So fucking sexy, I can't get enough of it.” Mark seems to be in his own little delirium.

“YOU FUCKING BASTARD BITCH LISTEN TO ME!”

“I always listen, Sugartoast. You're so pretty. Wow.”

Jinyoung just wants to yell another insult as the vibrator turns on inside him again. So instead of an insult he lets out a soft, high-pitched moan. He feels hot all over again. Mark switches the toy to what must be almost the highest level. Jinyoung chokes on a groan as he feels a shudder rack through his whole body. The heat has become even more unbearable. How is he supposed to take this any longer without going absolutely nuts?

The vibrations created by the toy radiate throughout his entire body deliciously. In delight he keeps curling and uncurling his toes. What started out as tears of frustration turned into little drops of joy which now slide down his flushed cheeks.

As much as the euphoric vibrations have his cock twitching in interest, Jinyoung

doesn’t fancy the thought of not coming from Mark's touch. But as the toy gets switched to what must be its maximum, Jinyoung forgets the thought, just like basically every other thought. The vibrator digs into his sweet spot and creates sheer joy. He feels heat pooling in his gut again and senses his climax barreling closer with every passing second.

And then the intensity of the vibrations lessens again. “Maaaaaaark!” Jinyoung whines without the slightest restraint. His body is overflowing with heat and wanting and he can't take this anymore. He will go crazy if not a miracle happens soon. “Just how many times will you deny me my much deserved orgasm? How! Many! Times! Mark Tuan!”

“There's a safe word, you remember that, right?”

“I don't want to stop, you unfair fucking jerk. I want to fucking come, wanker!”

“It will all be worth it, my lovely Sugartoast,” he coos and takes his hand off his erection.

“Yeah? Then come here and make it worth it, coward,” Jinyoung spits daringly.

“Fine,” Mark agrees with the most mischievous smile on his handsome face. He turns the vibrator off and leaps onto the bed. The blond carefully pulls the toy out of Jinyoung's ass. The latter gasps out another moan at that, even though feeling strangely empty then.

“Will you finally do me?” Jinyoung cries out.

“Oh yes Sugartoast, like you never have been done before,” Mark growls. In Jinyoung's heart the hope of an unforgettable fuck blooms when he sees Mark's delirious eyes.

The blond pulls his hips up in the air and positions himself behind him.

“No, no please not like this. I want to look at you,” Jinyoung whines. Wordlessly Mark reaches to the bedside table to grab the small key he placed there earlier. Quickly he gets the handcuffs off Jinyoung and flips him over on his back, careful to not strangle him with the rope still attached to his collar.

Jinyoung is glad to be able to move his arms again, but the relief is quickly drowned out because he's even happier to finally have his naked boyfriend hovering above him. The said boyfriend leans down to lick his tear-streaked cheeks. “Mmmhhh Sugartoast, you're delicious like always,” he whispers against his skin. Not a second later he kisses his lips with a dashing passion. Jinyoung's eyes flutter shut when he lets a muddled moan slip into Mark's mouth. He feels like he's coming apart, and the other haven’t even gotten inside him yet.

“You'll see stars very soon, my beloved.” Mark's deep voice resonates in every cell of Jinyoung's body as well as in the furthest, deepest corners of his mind. Almost paralyzed he slightly nods while his eyes follow his boyfriend's actions. He positions himself. Finally Jinyoung will get what he lusted over for so long.

Mark didn't apply any lube on himself. There's already enough saliva, lube and precum in the picture. By now it simply doesn't matter anymore. Mark slides into him, stretching his walls in the most thrilling way, causing sweet friction for both of them. An angry roar lets Jinyoung quiver in lust. Mark was impatient, too. Jinyoung realizes it now. The blond just can hide it way better.

Long fingers are pressing into his hips, holding him in place to receive the first forceful thrusts. Pitiful mewls leave Jinyoung's mouth, his heart hammering way too hard to be considered okay, but as long as Mark is the cause for it, it's all good. His boyfriend feels so perfect inside him, he wants to keep him there forever. He arches his back, showing that he wants more. The sensation of his cock sliding in and out of him lets a tingling sensation rush through his stomach. He's mindlessly moaning Mark's name when he presses into him extra hard.

Jinyoung hooks one leg around his waist to keep him from leaving again. Not for another second he will let him out of his reach. He needs him closer. Mark already set a fanatical fire alight but Jinyoung wants to burn even brighter.

“GOD YES! YES! FUCK! MARK HARDER HARDER!”

Their eyes meet, Mark's full of raw emotion and lust. And fire. Always fire. Mark Tuan is the epitome of passion and blazing flames.

Mark's hips slam into him at a furious rate. Jinyoung releases a strangled moan as Mark hits his golden spot for the first time. Mark knows. And so he pounds the sensitive bundle of nerves relentlessly, without letting Jinyoung a split second to breathe. This is exactly what he needs. He wants to curl up into a ball, wants to wrap his arms and legs around him. He wants Mark's grip to bruise him. He wants to come so bad he can barely think.

Mark reaches down to take the leaking, throbbing mess of a boner in his hand. He squeezes the head tightly in his fist and an ear-damaging cry of bliss rips from Jinyoung's throat. Then he starts to jerk him off mercilessly. The double stimulation drives him to the brink of rapture. Mark is giving him unlimited, untamed pleasure. Through clouded eyes Jinyoung sees him working above him, looking like his personal angry, powerful sex demon, busy with ruining him entirely.

This is too much. The sight pushes him over the edge. Pure ecstasy spikes through his body, sharp, forceful, and mind-blowing, as the brutal, long-awaited orgasm hits him. Mark's name falls from his lips incessantly while Jinyoung bunches the sheets up in his fists. He can't help it, he clenches around Mark's dick, wants to suck him in even deeper. And that's enough to bring bliss upon his glorious boyfriend. Panting, shivering, dangerously growling and bristling with lust he climaxes hard, releasing his searing hot cum deep inside Jinyoung.

It's so satisfying to watch Mark coming undone in him, above him, because of him. It's an extra pleasure point he wouldn't want to miss in his sex life with Mark. The latter seems to slowly come back to his senses. Mark pulls out and flops down beside Jinyoung, looking absolutely wrecked and oh so gorgeous. He locks eyes with him for a few blissful seconds. Still struggling to catch their breaths, a smile blooms on their lips simultaneously.

“How are you feeling, Sugartoast?” His raspy voice represents the sound of heaven, at least in Jinyoung's opinion.

“Like I was run over by a car.”

“But satisfied?”

“Very, _very_ satisfied. But Mark?”

“Hmmm?”

“If you'll deny me my precious orgasm ever again, I will kick your damn, sexy ass. Do you hear me?” Mark giggles, high-pitched and cute. “I swear, that almost killed me,” Jinyoung adds with a good portion of justified drama in his voice. The giggle turns into a full-fledged laugh and Jinyoung enjoys seeing all the sharp white teeth on display and the laughter lines on Mark's face.

Mark hoists himself up again and leans over Jinyoung to remove the collar from his neck. Carelessly he throws it on the floor. Next thing that has to go is the cum dripping corset belt. With a soft thud it lands next to the collar. Mark retrieves the bunny tail plug from the bedside table and teasingly trails the fluffy end over Jinyoung's nose.

The boy squeals and turns to the side to hide his face in Mark's chest. The latter lets himself drop on the mattress again and curls one arm around his sweaty boyfriend. “Sugartoast, you're so cute.” But the next thing Jinyoung knows is something pressing against his hole, and before he can react that something slides inside him with ease. He looks down on himself over his shoulder to spot the white, fluffy bunny tail sticking out of his ass once again.

“Honestly Mark? Still?” Jinyoung murmurs with raised eyebrows. “Do we really have to add a bunny kink to your already very long list?”

“That's not exactly a bunny thing. I just want my cum to stay inside you a little longer.”

Jinyoung shakes his head and sighs as he relaxes against Mark's chest. He hopes his boyfriend won't spot his blush which rises to his cheeks. He tries to gloss it over by saying, “You're truly the king of perverts.”

“How does it feel to be the boyfriend of the king of perverts? Special? Uplifting? Sublime?” he retorts cheekily.

“Yeah, basically all of that,” Jinyoung replies with a smile as he looks up at him.

“Next time you can do with me whatever you want.”

“Whatever... I want? Really _whatever_?” Mark's statement was uttered casually, but Jinyoung's reaction is not even half as casual. Thoughts about a variety of options rush through his mind.

“Whatever you want. Promise. Oh my god, Sugartoast, that immediate blush! What are you thinking of?” Mark is obviously as astounded as he's amused and interested in Jinyoung's ideas.

“It's.... it's a surprise. But maybe I have to make a shopping trip before as well.”

“You see me being thrilled with anticipation.” Mark offers a lopsided grin before he pulls Jinyoung a little closer. The latter just lets himself fall into the comfortable touch.

“I wish I could see how we look doing it,” he mumbles lazily.

“We could film us while doing it. That's a possibility, you know?”

“I... no I didn't mean it like that,” Jinyoung retorts, flustered. He was more thinking about an out-of-body experience or something along these lines. He knows it's a silly thought but at least there wouldn't be any proof later, different from the option of recording their own homemade porn movie.

“Then what? Want me to get another guy into this bed just so you could see how I look fucking his ass?”

“No! You won't even touch another guy! You won't even think about touching a guy who isn't me! Not ever again!”

A grin twitches on Mark's lips as he answers. “Yes, your majesty. As you wish, your majesty. I live to carry out your wishes and fulfill your desires, your majesty.” He leans down to press a kiss to his temple. “I love you, and only you, your majesty,” he whispers against the spot.

An explosion of warmth spreads through Jinyoung's chest. “I love you, too,” he says in a hushed voice as he closes his eyes, completely content.

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊

“Why the heck is it so crowded in here?” his boyfriend asks only seconds after he opened the door to Jinyoung's room. Mark's wide eyes sweep over their three friends who once again do their meerkat thingy on the vacant bed opposite of Jinyoung's. In fact, he was trying to read earlier, but as soon as his habitat was invaded by the throuple the peace and quiet was at an end.

“I don't know. They like to hang out here a lot,” Jinyoung explains innocently and shrugs his shoulders.

“Hello to you, too, Mark,” Jackson tries to get the new arrival's attention. In vain.

“We should stay at my place permanently,” he blond suggests as he crawls onto Jinyoung's bed and joins his boyfriend. They share a lovely kiss until Jackson noisily interrupts.

“No way! You won't steal Jinyoungie from me.”

“I'm his boyfriend. It's not stealing,” Mark retorts, unfazed.

“Oh yes it is. You can't just change his permanent location and expect me to be fine with it.”

“I'm your best friend and somehow I think I should also fight for custody, but somehow it already feels weird when those two do it,” Jaebum laughs as he addresses Jinyoung.

“And I'm very grateful for your sane mindset,” Jinyoung chuckles.

But Jackson and Mark chose to completely ignore everything they said and so Jackson continues to rant. “Jinyoungie may be your boyfriend, but-”

“No may be. It's not a question or an assumption. It's a fact, Wang.”

“Whatever! Jinyoungie is _my_ friend. I know him for much longer than you do. What should I do without him here?”

“You have _two_ boyfriends. I'm sure you'll think of something,” Mark points out with a lifted eyebrow.

“But they don't live here either. And I need Jinyoungie here, my buddy, my companion, my conversational partner,” Jackson explains passionately while his boyfriends left and right from him can't suppress their snickering. Once more they look like the perfect copies of Alvin, Theodore and Theodore.

“Oh come on,” Mark replies while he rolls his eyes. “You just want to keep him here so you can fuck in his room.”

“I beg your pardon, asshole. That's not true.”

“Yeah right, I know that you fucked in here before,” Mark snorts.

“Wait, WHAT?” Jinyoung squeaks.

“Youngjae!” Jackson scolds and frowns at the guilty looking boy beside him.

“Sorry. You know I tell him everything.”

“Fucking stop telling Mark Tuan everything!” Jackson rants.

“But-”

“Okay, how about we talk about this later when the three of us are alone?” Jaebum mildly interrupts.

“Yeah, maybe you want to tell me something first.” Jinyoung pouts and looks at the three conscience-stricken meerkats with narrowed eyes.

“We only did it in here twice, Jinyoungie. I swear,” Jackson hurries to explain.

“At least tell me that you _not_ did it in _my_ bed.”

“Of course we didn't. We have manners, okay?”

“Sure you have,” Mark scoffs.

“It was so nice before you walked in here with your bad attitude, Mark,” Jackson grumbles and pulls a face like some sulky kindergartner. Mark only chuckles at his silliness though. “Also Alex applied for another room in another building, so if everything runs smoothly, I will have a room all for myself soon.”

“Oh...,” Jinyoung mumbles. “Is he leaving because of...”

“You? Yeah, he is. It's difficult for him to see you every day. I don't blame him that he needs some distance to get over you,” Jackson enlightens matter-of-factly.

“Yeah... probably.” Jinyoung feels Mark's hand over his, intertwining their fingers. When he turns his head to the side, he sees his encouraging smile which basically spells out 'you did nothing wrong'. And that's everything he needs to move on from the Alex-issue now.

But their little bubble of intimacy is significantly disturbed when another ruckus on the other side of the room is too loud to ignore. Apparently the meerkats take selfies together, but from what Jinyoung understands there is currently a heated discussion going on about the best filter. Jaebum wants cat ears, Jackson wants dog ears and for some reason Youngjae wants them to look like dancing asparagus.

An annoyed sigh comes from next to him and Jinyoung doesn't even have to look at Mark to know that he's facepalming himself.

“Sugartoast, can we please go back to my apartment. Like... _please_?”

“You know what? Why not. Come on,” Jinyoung agrees as he starts to peel himself off the bed.

“Wait, you want to leave?” Jackson pipes up. His attention immediately shifted from the filter discussion to the two boyfriends. “Don't kidnap my Jinyoungie yet!”

“Jackson, I leave of my own free will.”

“And maybe he will stay at my place for the rest of his life of his own free will, too,” Mark taunts and elicits a dramatic facial expression from the shocked Jackson.

“We do know where you live, Mark.”

“Yes, but if you would appear in front of my door, I gladly ignore your existence.”

“Even mine?” Youngjae asks and looks at Mark like a kicked puppy.... or kicked dancing asparagus.

“Uhm.... maybe not yours.”

“Good, because I was wondering why only Jaebum can watch you two having sex. Same rights for everyone. I wait for an invitation now.” Well, that boy cheered up quickly, Jinyoung thinks.

“Jae-Jae..... what the fuck?”

Mark obviously never expected this from his best friend and is thoroughly flabbergasted. So Jinyoung decides to add, “You make it sound like we would run a live porn theater.”

But Mark also found his composure again. “From now on I will ignore your existence, too. I'm sorry, I love you Jae-Jae, but you brought this upon yourself.”

“Sad, I wanted to watch you having sex. Jaebum said it was hot.”

“I won't be the only one left out,” Jackson suddenly butts in. “How about inviting all of us to watch you having sex?”

“Great idea, Jackson,” Mark says casually and nods approvingly.

“R-Really?”

“No, are you dumb? Of course not. Jaebum, collect your boyfriends! Sugartoast, please let's get out of here before I kill somebody.”

“Alright.” Jinyoung just quickly grabs a few things and follows Mark to the door of his room. “Bye guys, and don't have sex in my room!”

“Sure Jinyoungiiiiiieeee!” Jackson cheer-calls after them as Mark pulls the door shut behind the both of them.

“They will totally have sex in my room, right?”

“Oh yes. They're probably naked already. Wanna bet?”

“No, that means we have to open the door again and look at..... whatever terrible happens in there now. Let's just run.”

“Gorgeous idea.” Mark smiles at him and takes his hand, ready to leave.

They make it all the way to Mark's apartment, discussing how they'll handle their overexcited friends in the future.

“Everyone gets crazier. I blame Jackson,” Mark concludes as they toe off their shoes.

“I think the combination of their different personalities is the cause. To blame it all on Jackson might be a bit unfair.”

“Fine. But I can't do this anymore. We can't hang out with all three of them anymore. They're too annoying.”

“But they're our friends.”

“And I don't say that this should change. I just say that we should meet them in smaller groups.”

“Smaller groups?”

“Yeah, preferably one by one.”

“Maaark! Come on!” Jinyoung scolds but can't fight back his laughter. “I was thinking.... perhaps it would be a good idea to invite BamBam and Yugyeom as well. You know, maybe they'd manage to provide some balance for the group.”

“Believe me, under these circumstances their presence wouldn't change anything for the better. Unless you would define 'better' as plain chaos. Because that would be the only thing they'd provide.”

“Maaark!”

“No really! To believe that those two would balance out the group is like believing that you can extinguish a house fire with a can of gasoline.”

Jinyoung bursts into a fit of giggles at that. “You really hold your friends in high esteem, right? It shows on a regular basis.”

“I'm just honest,” Mark says and shrugs. “Anyway, they are not here now. It's only you and me, Sugartoast.” Mark pulls him into a hug and offers a wide, lazy smile. “Anything special you want to do?”

Jinyoung makes use of the advantageous position to press a quick kiss into his smile, whereupon the blond chases after his mouth, but stops when Jinyoung starts to speak. “Uuuhm.... are you perhaps in the mood to play piano for me?”

“That is what you want?” Mark asks astounded.

“I want my talented piano genius boyfriend to play for me, yes.”

“No problem at all!” Mark beams at him, looking as bright as the sun itself as he walks Jinyoung over to the piano. Jinyoung doesn't need to ask anymore if he can sit beside him on the piano bench. Naturally Mark pulls him down next to him. “So, any special song requests?”

“Uhm... there is... well...”

“Sugartoast, tell me. Spill it! Spill it!” His boyfriend's enthusiasm makes Jinyoung laugh again. Mark himself has probably no idea how cute he is when he's this excited.

“So some time ago.... I saw a vinyl in your record player. It was an album by a band called Death Cab For Cutie and I went home and streamed the album. There was this one song, “I will possess your heart”, it reminded me of us, you know of our story I mean.”

“Uhm Sugartoast-”

“No wait. Hear me out. This part,” Jinyoung rashly explains and starts to sing.

“How I wish you could see the potential  
The potential of you and me  
It's like a book elegantly bound  
But in a language that you can't read just yet”

“You gotta spend some time, love  
You gotta spend some time with me  
And I know that you'll find love  
I will possess your heart”

“You get what I mean?”

“Sugartoast, I know you probably think it's really romantic, but.... it's actually a song about a one-sided, very obsessive love, a bit like a stalker and their victim.”

“Whaaaaaaaat?”

“Well, the one part later in the song is a vital clue, you know?” Mark explains to the crestfallen Jinyoung before he starts singing.

“You reject my advances and desperate pleas  
I won't let you let me down so easily”

“Oh.... in this context your explanation sounds absolutely sensible. I feel stupid now.”

“Noooo, don't, my sweet Sugartoast,” Mark laughs and side-hugs him. He rubs his upper arm to comfort him and chase away the disappointment. “It's fine, you can possess my heart all you want. Actually you already do! So don't be sad.”

“Damn, now I learned this whole freaking song all for nothing,” Jinyoung says, pouting. Though it doesn't last long because whenever there is a pout, Mark is on the scene to kiss it away.

“You really learned it? The whole thing?” Jinyoung timidly nods. “That's awesome! Despite the disturbing storyline, it's one of my favorite songs. Because wow, this song gives me so many feels and so much to think about. Would you please sing it for me while I accompany you on the piano?”

“You still want to do it?”

“Of course. Like I said, you possess my heart anyway. So let's celebrate that fact with this little, unsettling tune.” Even if he would try, he couldn't resist Mark's captivating energy and endearing smile. So Jinyoung is quickly convinced.

Mark knows the song by heart. It shouldn't surprise Jinyoung, but he's still impressed when he starts to play the song with his usual ease. When Jinyoung starts to sing, he's actually positively impressed. He didn't expect them to flow and mesh so well together right from the beginning. But it's easy. And it's fun. And Jinyoung feels entirely comfortable, as if he would be a part of the song from the first day of its existence.

“You have a very nice singing voice, Sugartoast,” Mark compliments after the last note decayed. “I didn't know that, but I'm glad I learned something new about you.”

“Oh come on, you only say that because I'm your boyfriend,” Jinyoung coos and shyly slaps Mark's shoulder.

“You know I don't do jokes when it's about music.”

“Uhm... that's true.”

“So you can sing. That means_ I_ don't have to sing anymore. Now I can play piano and you can sing.”

“But I like your singing voice,” Jinyoung points out.

“Fine, if you request it, I still can sing for you. But I like to listen to you while I play. What do you say?”

“Sadly most of the pieces you play don't come with lyrics.”

“Oh that's true, but we can pick a suitable part of a cantata. How good is your German?”

“My... _what_?”

“Okay, dumb idea. Next question: Do you know a band called The Killers?”

“I might have heard of them?”

“That's at least something. I'm gonna give you their album, 'Sam's Town'. Learn every song on it. It's going to be fun.”

“Wait! Do I have to pass some kind of test? What if I fail?” Jinyoung slightly panics as he fails to keep up with Mark's excitement.

“No, no pressure at all. Sorry, I might have gotten ahead of myself just now. I just want to do music together with you.” Mark takes his hand in his and smiles at him with twinkling eyes. “Up until now this was my thing alone, but the idea that it could become _our_ thing is so very intriguing that I would like to try it. I mean, if you're up for it.”

“I'm very, very much up for it,” Jinyoung blurts out. “So give me this Sam's Killers... thingy. I'm gonna learn it all. I'm gonna do well!”

“Oooor we will move slowly and for now I will play one of their songs for you, so you can see if their music suits your taste?”

“That also sounds good,” he agrees. To be honest, Jinyoung would agree with freaking everything Mark would suggest now. After he offered Jinyoung to share music, his greatest passion in life, with him and make it a couple thing, he couldn't be more elated.

“So Sugartoast, this song is called 'Bones'.”

＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ ＊ 

They agreed that it's better for Jinyoung to stay instead of returning to his dorm room (a.k.a. the sex room) that evening.

They spent a great night together, just like always. And when Jinyoung wakes up in the morning, Mark still lies next to him, motionless. His eyes are closed and his lashes project a soft shadow over the cheeks.

“Mark? Are you awake?” he whispers as quiet as possible while he leans over him. The boy doesn’t budge. His breath still flows in a fine even rhythm, his doe eyes are still shut. A joyful smile spreads across Jinyoung’s face as he sinks back into the pillows. It's his very first time to witness it. Finally Mark is sleeping safe and sound.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I invite you to join me in the hole, which the end of this story drags me into. Why do I always get so attached to fictional characters (not only in my own stories, more like in general)? Why? Why do I never learn?
> 
> Anyway, thank you for walking through this story together with me. We came a long way. I hope it was worth your time. I would love to know what you think. ^ω^


End file.
